I must say, this past week was pretty great...
I'll spare the details, but you cant go wrong when;
you get to screw over your, asshole, boss by going on vacation during the busiest retail weekend of the year (especially when it's against company guidelines... darn) and spend it with your girlie... We got to celebrate our 6 mos. together and gorge on a homemade thanksgiving feast we whipped up. Shes been taken yoga for quite some time and I've been wanting to go for a few years now, so we took a class together. And because it was a shitty day, we were the only people in attendance (other than the instructor) it was great... And we just got to be together....
The downsides were;
takin' the fuckin' greyhound buses...
tryin' to get rid of the left-overs by usin' some Shitty soup recipe...
the hardest part of it all was having to pack it all up and leave...
But this just means that I seriously need to start lookin' for a roommate in chicago or at least a really cheap apartment and real job, no more sears bullshite...
I'll spare the details, but you cant go wrong when;
you get to screw over your, asshole, boss by going on vacation during the busiest retail weekend of the year (especially when it's against company guidelines... darn) and spend it with your girlie... We got to celebrate our 6 mos. together and gorge on a homemade thanksgiving feast we whipped up. Shes been taken yoga for quite some time and I've been wanting to go for a few years now, so we took a class together. And because it was a shitty day, we were the only people in attendance (other than the instructor) it was great... And we just got to be together....
The downsides were;
takin' the fuckin' greyhound buses...
tryin' to get rid of the left-overs by usin' some Shitty soup recipe...
the hardest part of it all was having to pack it all up and leave...
But this just means that I seriously need to start lookin' for a roommate in chicago or at least a really cheap apartment and real job, no more sears bullshite...
Do you ever feel as if your looking out the window of a moving car, everything seems like it's passing you by...
Everything is speeding past at the speed of life, while your a mere passenger in a car thats on a collision course to nowhere...
I'd love to slam on the brake and step the fuck out of this routine, but I dont even know where to begin. So I continue on my collision course, alone...
Everything is speeding past at the speed of life, while your a mere passenger in a car thats on a collision course to nowhere...
I'd love to slam on the brake and step the fuck out of this routine, but I dont even know where to begin. So I continue on my collision course, alone...
Oh you little bastards. Alright, I'll crush each and every one of you. I'll crush ya to piece, I tell ya. I'll crush you so hard you'll have to look up to look down.
Things have been extremely hectic, crazy, and quite ridiculous... But I'm not gonna stress over it, I'm just gonna do what I have to do and move on... It'll all be over and done with soon... I hope...
After last halloween I decided that it was going to be the last one I spent sittin' around the house watchin' horror movies by my lonesome. As fun as it is to rock out to horrors finest, I needed to do something different... I needed to get out of the house. I started thinkin' up different things, with the hopes that I'd stumble upon something worthwhile. And then one day when I was roamin' the vast internet, I found a small company based out of Cali that sold special effects equipment on a small scale for those on a budget. And for $100 you could buy 50 squibs (exploding blood pack) & remote detonator. So I thought it'd be fun to go out wanderin' the streets on halloween carryin' a bag full of candy with squibs strapped under my shirt. I was goin' to have one of the guys I work with and his little brother come out with me. The plan was that I'd be trick or treatin' with his kid brother and when we were around a good crowd, he'd come up and pull a gun on us tryin' to take our candy. Of course the kid says no and a small struggle between me and the gunman ensues and then the gun goes off. I fall to the ground with a freshly exploded squib bleeding all sorts of fun and the kid would be hovering over my body freakin' out, while his brother runs off with the candy. After layin' motionless on the ground for a while, I'd get up like nothin' happened... Change my shirt and do it again... I thought that would be great for a laugh... But damn the small business man who cant compete with the hollywood big dawgs... They went out of buisness...
But I'm not bitter...
I went to work for 2 1/2 hours yesterday, but I left early because I was "sick". What that really means is that at 11am I jumped in my car and drove 10 1/2 hours to come up to chicago to see Beth for the weekend. I'm not sure what were gonna be doin' for halloween, we'll most likely hang out watchin' movies... And this year it definetely isn't a bad thing...
Is it bad that I blew off 1 1/2 days of work?!?! Oh well....
How about with you kids... What are your plans for Devil's Night (oct. 30th) and Halloween?!?!
But I'm not bitter...
I went to work for 2 1/2 hours yesterday, but I left early because I was "sick". What that really means is that at 11am I jumped in my car and drove 10 1/2 hours to come up to chicago to see Beth for the weekend. I'm not sure what were gonna be doin' for halloween, we'll most likely hang out watchin' movies... And this year it definetely isn't a bad thing...
Is it bad that I blew off 1 1/2 days of work?!?! Oh well....
How about with you kids... What are your plans for Devil's Night (oct. 30th) and Halloween?!?!
... BLAH...
I've got nothing worth mentioning, nothing new & exciting to share, I'm still dealin' with my own personal demons, Theres still a war waging within my head, This Okie existence of mine is pretty lonesome, But its my own daoing, Going to work & Coming home is my routine, It seems Hiding from the world & Sticking to the shadows is what I do best, My anxiety doesn't flare up when I'm alone, There isn't much to fear when you hang out by yourself... Well except for when it gets too fuckin' quiet and you cant keep those demons at bay, when they force you to see the things that have come & gone, when I'm subjected to the memories that I wish I could forget or at least move past...
Just once when it's all quiet and the demons begin to stir within' my head I wish they'd slip up and show me things worth stickin' around for, I wish they'd replay those moments that I'd love to hang onto, because to be completely honest...
I'm gettin' sick of feeling this way, I'm gettin' tired of hiding amongst the shadows, I'm tired of being fine one moment and then the next I'm emotionally drained and void of all life...
"FUCK MY ANXIETY" is something I want to SCREAM, Fuck those demons that play me like I'm a Rock Em' Sock Em' Robot thats always gettin' my block knocked off...
I wish it were as simple as saying "FUCK IT, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" I wish it was that easy to overcome the bullshite that plagues me, I wish it was that easy to step out from the shadows and join the real world. Because I'm gettin' tired of bringin' the people I care the most about down, I'm gettin' tired of feelin' like I'm nothing...
BLAH....
I've got nothing worth mentioning, nothing new & exciting to share, I'm still dealin' with my own personal demons, Theres still a war waging within my head, This Okie existence of mine is pretty lonesome, But its my own daoing, Going to work & Coming home is my routine, It seems Hiding from the world & Sticking to the shadows is what I do best, My anxiety doesn't flare up when I'm alone, There isn't much to fear when you hang out by yourself... Well except for when it gets too fuckin' quiet and you cant keep those demons at bay, when they force you to see the things that have come & gone, when I'm subjected to the memories that I wish I could forget or at least move past...
Just once when it's all quiet and the demons begin to stir within' my head I wish they'd slip up and show me things worth stickin' around for, I wish they'd replay those moments that I'd love to hang onto, because to be completely honest...
I'm gettin' sick of feeling this way, I'm gettin' tired of hiding amongst the shadows, I'm tired of being fine one moment and then the next I'm emotionally drained and void of all life...
"FUCK MY ANXIETY" is something I want to SCREAM, Fuck those demons that play me like I'm a Rock Em' Sock Em' Robot thats always gettin' my block knocked off...
I wish it were as simple as saying "FUCK IT, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" I wish it was that easy to overcome the bullshite that plagues me, I wish it was that easy to step out from the shadows and join the real world. Because I'm gettin' tired of bringin' the people I care the most about down, I'm gettin' tired of feelin' like I'm nothing...
BLAH....
Do you ever have those days where you feel as if your in a daze, where everything seems to be happening around you and yet you cant interact with it??
I dont know why, but lately I've been sinking more and more inside myself... Which isn't necessarily a good thing, I keep looking back on days past. Shite from my childhood keeps poppin' into my mind lately, and I just want it to go away...
There are some memories that you dont need to constantly reflect on, some moments in time that you wish you could forget...
And yet if you could forget them, would you still be you?? Who would I be if I hadn't grown up the way I did??
I dont know why, but lately I've been sinking more and more inside myself... Which isn't necessarily a good thing, I keep looking back on days past. Shite from my childhood keeps poppin' into my mind lately, and I just want it to go away...
There are some memories that you dont need to constantly reflect on, some moments in time that you wish you could forget...
And yet if you could forget them, would you still be you?? Who would I be if I hadn't grown up the way I did??
This past Thurs. after I got out of work I drove out to Chicago to be with Beth for the weekend... And I must say, the 10 hour drive was well worth every minute of it. I desperately needed to get away from here and be with her. You have no idea how good it feels to be able to see her once a month. When I first moved out here we had to wait 2 mos. before we could see each other again, but since then we've been together at least once every month.
But the downside....
Having to leave and make the 10 hr. drive home... I was in no shape to be driving, I shouldn't have been on the road. But I didn't have that luxury... I had to come back for work... Yippie... But I managed to make it back to the apt., in one piece, around 2:30ish this morning... Everytime I blink it feels like my eyes are on fire, my stomach is killin' me, my head is pounding.... I hate this... I hate the fact that my health is so tied into my emotional state.... I feel like screaming...
And of course I'm going to do something that isn't going to help the way my stomach feels one bit... I'm goin' to be eatin' a lot of my comfort food... PEANUT BUTTER!!! I need to buy a fresh jar and I have a box, yes a box, of Reeses.... I had a box & a 1/2, but I ate the rest of the open box during the drive home this morning....
UPDATED....
What is the point of having an assistant if they dont keep up with their work, while your out of town?!?!?! I go into work yesterday and I'm incredibly back logged... I have a mountain of things that I need to deal with, customers who are waiting for their merch., and various managers who are waiting for their display models and such to help boost their associates sales.... But the best part of all was that regardless of all of this stress and tension, I couldn't even get to take care of any of it because I had to do someone elses job.... And deal with his antique computer and fight with his software, I had to organize his office and his work space because all of his shit was spilling out into my office and into the warehouse.... what the fuck!!!
I went into work tired, emotionally drained, and my stomach ached.... I left an hour early because my stomach killed so damn bad. I was stressin' more than I should've, I felt like I was going to burst.... ::Wanna Scream!!!!::
How was your day!?!?!
But the downside....
Having to leave and make the 10 hr. drive home... I was in no shape to be driving, I shouldn't have been on the road. But I didn't have that luxury... I had to come back for work... Yippie... But I managed to make it back to the apt., in one piece, around 2:30ish this morning... Everytime I blink it feels like my eyes are on fire, my stomach is killin' me, my head is pounding.... I hate this... I hate the fact that my health is so tied into my emotional state.... I feel like screaming...
And of course I'm going to do something that isn't going to help the way my stomach feels one bit... I'm goin' to be eatin' a lot of my comfort food... PEANUT BUTTER!!! I need to buy a fresh jar and I have a box, yes a box, of Reeses.... I had a box & a 1/2, but I ate the rest of the open box during the drive home this morning....
UPDATED....
What is the point of having an assistant if they dont keep up with their work, while your out of town?!?!?! I go into work yesterday and I'm incredibly back logged... I have a mountain of things that I need to deal with, customers who are waiting for their merch., and various managers who are waiting for their display models and such to help boost their associates sales.... But the best part of all was that regardless of all of this stress and tension, I couldn't even get to take care of any of it because I had to do someone elses job.... And deal with his antique computer and fight with his software, I had to organize his office and his work space because all of his shit was spilling out into my office and into the warehouse.... what the fuck!!!
I went into work tired, emotionally drained, and my stomach ached.... I left an hour early because my stomach killed so damn bad. I was stressin' more than I should've, I felt like I was going to burst.... ::Wanna Scream!!!!::
How was your day!?!?!
