Hello one and all.
I can only apologise for my lack of festive activity on here as of late. Truth be told my lack of New Year's introspection, and an apt summary of my NYE experience can be best conveyed by this photo:
Yes, I have not been a well chappy, and that's an array of the various unctures and reagents I've been shovelling down my neck since the 30th in a desperate bid to stave off some horrible throat-fucking illness/infection/flesh-peeling parasite. On the plus side, I actually managed solid food today. On the downside, it appears to have relinquished my throat in favour of dividing it's forces between my chest and, somehow, working it's way up my jawline to my ear. I'll get you yet you bastard.
New Year's reviews and such once this war is won. There shall be no mercy.
I can only apologise for my lack of festive activity on here as of late. Truth be told my lack of New Year's introspection, and an apt summary of my NYE experience can be best conveyed by this photo:
Yes, I have not been a well chappy, and that's an array of the various unctures and reagents I've been shovelling down my neck since the 30th in a desperate bid to stave off some horrible throat-fucking illness/infection/flesh-peeling parasite. On the plus side, I actually managed solid food today. On the downside, it appears to have relinquished my throat in favour of dividing it's forces between my chest and, somehow, working it's way up my jawline to my ear. I'll get you yet you bastard.
New Year's reviews and such once this war is won. There shall be no mercy.
They're all out to get me. Bastards, bastards I say! ALL OUT TO GET ME! THEY COME IN THROUGH MY WINDOW AT NIGHT AND THEY PUT THEIR NEEDLES IN MY BRAIN BUT I WON'T LET THEM!
So I've taken to wearing a hat, scarf and long coat a bit more as of late. Nothing that major or special, it just helps keep me a bit warmer and dryer in this rather shitty weather:
As you can see, nothing that major, not exactly a ground-shattering change in fashion. However, it's produced quite a large number of comments and responses. And, I have to say, the range of comments, especially at work, have been somewhat baffling. Allow me to present you with some of the remarks I've been getting recently:
"You look a bit like a writer!"
"You look like the Nazi off Raiders of the Lost Ark! You know, the one with the melty face!"
"Nah, you don't look like a Nazi, you look like one of them, you know, Gestapo, with the coat and everything!"
"Hello Ben, you're looking very American today!"
"You look like someone a bit mysterious, a bit dark. You know, like a magician"
"Oh wow Ben! You look like a shady character who's up to no good!"
"Nice hat! It's very.... you know...."
"We've been having a discussion about who you remind us of, and we've decided it's that guy with the hat off Poltergeist"
I'm not quite sure what to make of it all really. Oh, and then there's my personal favourite, and best when stripped of all context:
"You can't fucking wear that! After all, I don't go around murdering whores, DO I?!"
As you can see, nothing that major, not exactly a ground-shattering change in fashion. However, it's produced quite a large number of comments and responses. And, I have to say, the range of comments, especially at work, have been somewhat baffling. Allow me to present you with some of the remarks I've been getting recently:
"You look a bit like a writer!"
"You look like the Nazi off Raiders of the Lost Ark! You know, the one with the melty face!"
"Nah, you don't look like a Nazi, you look like one of them, you know, Gestapo, with the coat and everything!"
"Hello Ben, you're looking very American today!"
"You look like someone a bit mysterious, a bit dark. You know, like a magician"
"Oh wow Ben! You look like a shady character who's up to no good!"
"Nice hat! It's very.... you know...."
"We've been having a discussion about who you remind us of, and we've decided it's that guy with the hat off Poltergeist"
I'm not quite sure what to make of it all really. Oh, and then there's my personal favourite, and best when stripped of all context:
"You can't fucking wear that! After all, I don't go around murdering whores, DO I?!"
and exhale...
Well it took long enough, but I finally caught a break. Some good enws, combined with the residual high from seeing you all on saturday and I'm feeling positively giddy with relief. It's back to worrying about a hundred little things at work and home tomorrow, but for tonight, you are my happy place. Love you guys.
Well it took long enough, but I finally caught a break. Some good enws, combined with the residual high from seeing you all on saturday and I'm feeling positively giddy with relief. It's back to worrying about a hundred little things at work and home tomorrow, but for tonight, you are my happy place. Love you guys.
My apologies to you all, I've been a bit or a rubbish Internet friend as of late. I got a few weeks reprieve from the endless disaster that was August but now life's gone right back to jumping up and down on my nutsack and it's just been rather draining. I've been spending a lot of time looking at job websites lately, seeing as I might apparently be losing mine, and by the time I make it onto SG, I've got little mental energy to do much other than stare at the pretty pictures. On the bright side, there isn't much left now that can go wrong, so things have to start going right soon enough 
Right, so I want to get rid of that previous entry with something a little happier as things are pretty much ok. Really looking forwards to Edinburgh at the end of the week, it's going to be much needed.
The members FAQ thread in SGUK gives me a perfect excuse to write something, so here goes:
So who are you then?
Hi! I'm CreamyGoodness. If you like you can call me Ben
What's with the name?
I've used CreamyGoodness as my online name for going on at least 10ish years now, I first started using it while playing Quake 2 over the Internet on a 56k connection. Those were simpler times. And I wrecked people's shit at Team Fortress Classic.
I like to tell people I use it because it seems innocuous at first but is actually quite rude and disgusting when you look at it for more than 30 seconds. Much like me. However I actually stole it from somewhere. Not telling you where though.
So you're in charge of SGUK then?
Yes, I currently run SGUK, the second most active group on the site. And according to mat8drb, we might eventually be the most active. He's worked this out you know. With graphs.
Let me in please
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Bit harsh
Yes. Yes it is. Seriously, the rules are right here. Complete with entry on how you get in. Read plz.
But what's it like running SGUK?
SGUK is much like an anvil with 374 retarded baby kittens tied to it. If you want to get anything done you have to kick the anvil down the stairs.
What's your manifesto for SGUK? (thanks mat8drb)
To crush my enemies, to see them driven before me and to hear the lamentation of the women
What are your staunch five economic tests for its success? (also mat8drb)
1. Rather than being run on a fiat currency, SGUK operates on the Tears Standard. Similar to the Gold Standard, the group trades in the quiet sobbing of the unwary. If I make you cry, that means I've won at Internet.
2. SGUK spiritual home The Ship is actually able to plate the entire bar with Platinum.
3. DOW Jones rises 6 points.
4. We finally surpass the SG Lounge as most active group on the site and premier place for talking absolute bollocks.
5. Ragnarok
I hear you live with another member
Yes, I currently share a flat with TheQuestion affectionately known as The Nerdcave. Because we're cool like that.
Is it true that TheQuestion is a magnificent and considerate lover, able to bring any woman to a thigh-clenching, scream-inducing, bed-rattling climax with the merest brush of his fingers?
Why would you need to ask me that Adam? Surely you'd be the one to know.
Nerds eh? What game have you spent the most time with? (Mat8drb once more)
Hmm, tricky to say. I have a truly ridiculous amount of games, over 100 on just the original X-Box and PX2 alone, as I have a tendancy to hoover out the bargain bins at Game. That said, I think I'll have to kick it old-school and say the game I sank the most hours into was the Baldurs Gate series, which was absolutely awesome. And I mainly did it because of Minsc, quite possibly the greatest character in videogame history.
Will Grant Morrison and Alan Moore eventually have an epic, psychodelic magic battle atop the roof of a cathedral in the midst of a driving storm, leading to a swirling, psychotropic collapse of the collective human consciousness into a singularity, thereby ending the world and sentient life before igniting a psychic big bang, flinging eddies of raw human consciousness across the cosmos? (asked by TheQuestion)
No. Because Warren Ellis will ruin the mood when he calls them a pair of cunts.
What's this about you murdering hookers?
Oh lord. One of the longest-running jokes in SGUK is that I am some kind of modern-day Jack the Ripper, a veritable demon with a blade, purging the streets of the filth that walks it like a hard steel rain. Obviously it has no basis in reality. Ahem.
What's your preferred tool for murdering? (thanks, bunnypudding)
Oh you ask too much! There is such wondrous variety! From the crack of cartilage when you jam an awl into a joint, to the wonderful Rorschach spatter patterns of a slit throat. At the end of the day, however, I'd have to go wtih the combination of a short-bladed single-edged knife. Non-serrated of course, for exposing and working with soft tissue. Blade about 4 1/2 - 5 inches for preference.
Are you going to murder me?
Well that depends. Are you a whore?
Why Jack and Coke?
When I was younger I never could grow to like the taste of beer and needed something else to drink instead. However, I was new to this whole pub thing, so when one of my friends ordered a JD and coke, I thought that sounded like a good idea and ordered one too. From there it kind of became a habit. These days I don't mind a beer on occasion, but I can't drink it with any kind of regularity, I hate feeling too bloated.
The members FAQ thread in SGUK gives me a perfect excuse to write something, so here goes:
So who are you then?
Hi! I'm CreamyGoodness. If you like you can call me Ben
What's with the name?
I've used CreamyGoodness as my online name for going on at least 10ish years now, I first started using it while playing Quake 2 over the Internet on a 56k connection. Those were simpler times. And I wrecked people's shit at Team Fortress Classic.
I like to tell people I use it because it seems innocuous at first but is actually quite rude and disgusting when you look at it for more than 30 seconds. Much like me. However I actually stole it from somewhere. Not telling you where though.
So you're in charge of SGUK then?
Yes, I currently run SGUK, the second most active group on the site. And according to mat8drb, we might eventually be the most active. He's worked this out you know. With graphs.
Let me in please
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Bit harsh
Yes. Yes it is. Seriously, the rules are right here. Complete with entry on how you get in. Read plz.
But what's it like running SGUK?
SGUK is much like an anvil with 374 retarded baby kittens tied to it. If you want to get anything done you have to kick the anvil down the stairs.
What's your manifesto for SGUK? (thanks mat8drb)
To crush my enemies, to see them driven before me and to hear the lamentation of the women
What are your staunch five economic tests for its success? (also mat8drb)
1. Rather than being run on a fiat currency, SGUK operates on the Tears Standard. Similar to the Gold Standard, the group trades in the quiet sobbing of the unwary. If I make you cry, that means I've won at Internet.
2. SGUK spiritual home The Ship is actually able to plate the entire bar with Platinum.
3. DOW Jones rises 6 points.
4. We finally surpass the SG Lounge as most active group on the site and premier place for talking absolute bollocks.
5. Ragnarok
I hear you live with another member
Yes, I currently share a flat with TheQuestion affectionately known as The Nerdcave. Because we're cool like that.
Is it true that TheQuestion is a magnificent and considerate lover, able to bring any woman to a thigh-clenching, scream-inducing, bed-rattling climax with the merest brush of his fingers?
Why would you need to ask me that Adam? Surely you'd be the one to know.
Nerds eh? What game have you spent the most time with? (Mat8drb once more)
Hmm, tricky to say. I have a truly ridiculous amount of games, over 100 on just the original X-Box and PX2 alone, as I have a tendancy to hoover out the bargain bins at Game. That said, I think I'll have to kick it old-school and say the game I sank the most hours into was the Baldurs Gate series, which was absolutely awesome. And I mainly did it because of Minsc, quite possibly the greatest character in videogame history.
Will Grant Morrison and Alan Moore eventually have an epic, psychodelic magic battle atop the roof of a cathedral in the midst of a driving storm, leading to a swirling, psychotropic collapse of the collective human consciousness into a singularity, thereby ending the world and sentient life before igniting a psychic big bang, flinging eddies of raw human consciousness across the cosmos? (asked by TheQuestion)
No. Because Warren Ellis will ruin the mood when he calls them a pair of cunts.
What's this about you murdering hookers?
Oh lord. One of the longest-running jokes in SGUK is that I am some kind of modern-day Jack the Ripper, a veritable demon with a blade, purging the streets of the filth that walks it like a hard steel rain. Obviously it has no basis in reality. Ahem.
What's your preferred tool for murdering? (thanks, bunnypudding)
Oh you ask too much! There is such wondrous variety! From the crack of cartilage when you jam an awl into a joint, to the wonderful Rorschach spatter patterns of a slit throat. At the end of the day, however, I'd have to go wtih the combination of a short-bladed single-edged knife. Non-serrated of course, for exposing and working with soft tissue. Blade about 4 1/2 - 5 inches for preference.
Are you going to murder me?
Well that depends. Are you a whore?
Why Jack and Coke?
When I was younger I never could grow to like the taste of beer and needed something else to drink instead. However, I was new to this whole pub thing, so when one of my friends ordered a JD and coke, I thought that sounded like a good idea and ordered one too. From there it kind of became a habit. These days I don't mind a beer on occasion, but I can't drink it with any kind of regularity, I hate feeling too bloated.
Right, well, I'm a little calmer now, thankfully. I meant to post this earlier, but I've been struggling with a particularly irksome virus all of today and I ended up having to completely flatten and reinstall everything, so I've spent the past few hours rebuilding everything. Yup, that's one more thing for the list.
Anyhow, thankyou everyone. Really. I know how difficult it is to say something when a friend's bemoaning their sorry lot, and it never feels like you're saying anything worthwhile, but even a few kind words help. You guys really did help, and I'll get round to replying to you all eventually once I'm not doing 4 different things at once.
My dad should be ok. He had a bad fall and hurt his knee pretty badly. I'm hearing stuff about ruptured ligaments and the like, I'm not sure on the details. He has to have an operation tomorrow so I'm waiting to hear from him about how that goes and I'll be able to visit him on sunday.
It's been a tough couple of weeks to say the least. Time to turn a corner. I mean, it's not like it can get much worse
Anyhow, thankyou everyone. Really. I know how difficult it is to say something when a friend's bemoaning their sorry lot, and it never feels like you're saying anything worthwhile, but even a few kind words help. You guys really did help, and I'll get round to replying to you all eventually once I'm not doing 4 different things at once.
My dad should be ok. He had a bad fall and hurt his knee pretty badly. I'm hearing stuff about ruptured ligaments and the like, I'm not sure on the details. He has to have an operation tomorrow so I'm waiting to hear from him about how that goes and I'll be able to visit him on sunday.
It's been a tough couple of weeks to say the least. Time to turn a corner. I mean, it's not like it can get much worse
EDIT: I lost all my music due to the aforementioned virus, so I'm having to rebuild my entire collection. Go ahead and give me some suggestions.
I do not believe this. I DO NOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS.
First my great aunt, then cancelling my holiday, now my dad's in hospital.
Why can't one thing go my way?
ONE FUCKING THING.
FUCKS FUCKING SAKE.
First my great aunt, then cancelling my holiday, now my dad's in hospital.
Why can't one thing go my way?
ONE FUCKING THING.
FUCKS FUCKING SAKE.
Well. So. Right. It seems rather clumsy to just come out and say it but the beauty of writing about stuff like this on the Internet on a site like this is it combines the best aspects of shouting into the darkness and confiding in your friends. I get to fire off words into the ether like tiny purging little fragments of emotion but you still have that safety net there to keep you grounded.
But I digress, my rather brief journal entry was due to the fact that on tuesday night I received a call to let me know that my great-aunt had died. I knew as soon as the phone started ringing what it would be, and answered the phone a little numb. I still don't think it's really hit me yet, it probably will once I'm at the funeral, like it did with my grandfather, but who knows.
It just feels essentially wrong. My earliest memories of my great-aunt are not so much of a person, but some indomitable force of will. Her and my grandmother held a curious kind of co-matriarchy on my father's side of the family. My grandmother was the one everyone crowded round, came back to for Christmas, doted over. My great aunt was the one everyone wanted to impress. Whenever I got my report cards, it was always her we thought of telling about the grades I got and she had an unmistakable air of authority about her. I guess it's true, teachers never really stop being teachers.
And yet, for all that, she was never harsh, never intimidating, always loving. I think what I'll remember best is her laugh. It'd catch sometimes in her slightly raspy, ex-smoker's throat, but was always bubbly, joyfull, full of life. I think that's a good memory to take with me.
I've been listening to the song in my last journal an awful lot recently ('The '59 Sound' by The Gaslight Anthem) as it's matched my mood. I really should stop before it impresses itself onto my brain as the official soundtrack of my family passing away. That would totally suck.
Other than that, of course, things continue on as ever. I have a lot to look forwards to ahead of me, and a lot of wonderful people to share it with. All things considered, I'm doing pretty good.
But I digress, my rather brief journal entry was due to the fact that on tuesday night I received a call to let me know that my great-aunt had died. I knew as soon as the phone started ringing what it would be, and answered the phone a little numb. I still don't think it's really hit me yet, it probably will once I'm at the funeral, like it did with my grandfather, but who knows.
It just feels essentially wrong. My earliest memories of my great-aunt are not so much of a person, but some indomitable force of will. Her and my grandmother held a curious kind of co-matriarchy on my father's side of the family. My grandmother was the one everyone crowded round, came back to for Christmas, doted over. My great aunt was the one everyone wanted to impress. Whenever I got my report cards, it was always her we thought of telling about the grades I got and she had an unmistakable air of authority about her. I guess it's true, teachers never really stop being teachers.
And yet, for all that, she was never harsh, never intimidating, always loving. I think what I'll remember best is her laugh. It'd catch sometimes in her slightly raspy, ex-smoker's throat, but was always bubbly, joyfull, full of life. I think that's a good memory to take with me.
I've been listening to the song in my last journal an awful lot recently ('The '59 Sound' by The Gaslight Anthem) as it's matched my mood. I really should stop before it impresses itself onto my brain as the official soundtrack of my family passing away. That would totally suck.
Other than that, of course, things continue on as ever. I have a lot to look forwards to ahead of me, and a lot of wonderful people to share it with. All things considered, I'm doing pretty good.
Well, I wonder which song they're gonna play when we go.
I hope it's something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow.
When we float out into the ether, into the Everlasting Arms,
I hope we don't hear Marley's chains we forged in life.
'Cause the chains I been hearing now for most of my life.
Did you hear the '59 Sound coming through on Grandmama's radio?
Did you hear the rattling chains in the hospital walls?
Did you hear the old gospel choir when they came to carry you over?
Did you hear your favorite song one last time?
It's been a weird night. Normal service will resume shortly.
I hope it's something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow.
When we float out into the ether, into the Everlasting Arms,
I hope we don't hear Marley's chains we forged in life.
'Cause the chains I been hearing now for most of my life.
Did you hear the '59 Sound coming through on Grandmama's radio?
Did you hear the rattling chains in the hospital walls?
Did you hear the old gospel choir when they came to carry you over?
Did you hear your favorite song one last time?
It's been a weird night. Normal service will resume shortly.
