Member: CreamyGoodness

CreamyGoodness is better than many lesser Suicidegirls

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AUGUST 4, 2008 @ 12:23 AM | 15 COMMENTS

Blimey, well it's certainly been an eventful couple of weeks, my bank account is about as sore as I am so I think I'm going to be keeping a relatively low profile for the next few weeks. Still, it was certainly worth it, I'll give you all a more in-depth blog soon when I'm done with the pictures from TheQuestion's birthday, for now I just wanted to get rid of the last blog. So for now, special shout outs to TheQuestion, The_Happy_Pig, Ikaruga and, of course, Kaikai as well as anyone else who made the past couple of weeks so thoroughly enjoyable. I'm in a good mood right now, love you all.
JULY 6, 2008 @ 03:32 PM | 30 COMMENTS

Well considering Adam has now seent he Doctor Who finale, I thought it an appropriate time to put up a new blog. In the spirit of consumer advice and information, I've decided to try my hand at the firsst part of what might be something I'll come back to every now and then. And so, I give you:

CreamyGoodness Presents: Gaming for the Cheapass Bastard - Shoot 'Em Up Edition

This was originally inspired by conversations with Ikaruga and Zamusel, both of them being fans of gaming, I pointed out that the PC has a thriving Indie and freeware gaming scene and they, quite frankly, didn't entirely believe me. So I decided to point out some of the rather snazzy games that can be downloaded, in most cases for absolutely free. this time round I'm going to concentrate on Shoot 'Em Ups.

As another note, this is really just for PC owners. There might be Mac versions for some of these games but I'm going to enough trouble as it is and, quite frankly, if you're a Mac gamer you're just about self-loathing enough as it is. So fuck you buddy.


Jets 'N Guns



The website appears to be down for the moment, but should be back up again once they get it working I imagine. I'm actually going to start with a game that you need to pay for the full version, but there is a free demo available for download from the website. I'm doing this because, quite frankly, this game is fucking awesome. A side scrolling shooter with a ridiculously in-depth weapons customisation and upgrade system (you can sell back weapons for full price, so don't be afraid to change your loadout compeltely every level if you like, you may have to in places). About 70-odd different guns to play around with and the Gold edition of the game has oodles and oodles of levels. Comparable to one of my favourite games of all time, Tyrian 2000. Plus it has a pretty cool soundtrack available for free download at the Machinae Supremacy website.

The Last Canopy



A flash game this time, so nice and easy to play, just visit the site and wait for it to load. The Last Canopy is a vertical scrolling shooter that's worth pointing out for a couple of reasons. It's far above most flash efforts for it's whimsical style and artwork and it has a strong play mechanic. Pilot your fairy (protecting the last tree on earth) with the mouse (or arrow keys) and shoot with Z. However, your basic attack is quite weak but you are followed by five little firefly things. Hold down X to shoot out a pink ray, hit the enemies with this, hold down X and you will drain their powers and transfer them to one of your fireflys. the tougher the enemy the longer it takes and the stronger the attack, doing this is vital to be able to stand up to some of the bosses.

Warning Forever



Downloading and Installation

Right-click and then 'Save Target As' on the top link for the most recent version, this saves an exe file to your PC. Find and run it and that will install Warning Forever. By default it installs it to a folder called 'wf' on your hard drive, check the folder and run the 'wf' file to start the game

Summary

Warning Forever is one of the gold standards of the Indie shmup scene, an absolutely fantastic game. It's essentially a boss rush, you fight against a series of bosses whom you can blow apart a piece at a time, shooting off bits and weapons until you can destroy the core. There's a time limit and you have to get as far as you can. Deaths don't matter except that they reduce the amount of time you have left. HOWEVER, the enemies you face evolve a little in response to how you fight them. If you take out the front of the boss first, expect the front of the next one to be a little more armoured. If you get killed by a missile launcher, expect the next one to have more missile launchers and so on. It ends up with a surprising amount of variety

Playing the game

Control your ship using the cursor keys, select options and fire by using Z. D will switch your firing mode. the first fire mode just shoots straight up. Push D and a green cone will appear, this shows your firing angle and spread. Move your ship around to adjust it and hold down Z to start firing and lock it in place


Grid Wars 2



Downloading and Installation

Scroll down and Right-click and save on the first link of the third paragraph (the one that reads 'GridWars54'). this will save a Zip file to your computer, inside the file is a folder called Grid Wars 2, extract this folder to your har ddrive, check it and then run the 'GridWars' executable file.

Summary

Grid Wars is, basically, a ripoff of Geometry Wars, a game available on X-Box Live. It is, however, completely free to download and a hell of a lot of fun. It's a simple enough game, you're stuck in a single arena and enemies keep appearing all round you. Shoot the everliving fuck out fo absolutely everything and try not to die. Not an easy prospect after a minute or two as the screen fills with neon-glowing, mind-fucking insanity.

Playing The Game

At the title screen, it says 'Press Bomb to start', hit the space bar. As soon as the game starts, hit Escape, go down to 'Settings', then hit Enter, go to 'Controls' and press Enter. Go up to 'Choose Controls' and hit left or right until it says 'Keyboard' then go back down to 'Done' and hit Enter. You should only have to do this once.

From then on, W, S, A and D move your ship, the cursor keys control your firing direction (firing is automatic) and the space bar sets off a smartbomb. From now on, if it moves, kill it.

NaaC



Download and Installation

Click and save on 'Download NaaC with installer', this starts a program to install NaaC on your computer. It will also add it to your Programs Menu, so easy enough to find and run.

Summary

Another arena shooter, this time of a less abstract, wholly more violent bent. A slightly more visceral experience, although lacking Grid Wars manic purity. You control a nameless jetpack-flying marine type flying around an arean blowing the shit out of various alien scum. Go to it.

Playing the Game

Use W, S, A and D to move your character, be aware that he moves with some momentum, so be carefuol you don't end up sliding all over the place. Use your mouse to aim your gun, left mouse button to fire and right mouse button or mouse wheel to scroll through your available weapons. All weapons except your basic pistol need ammo that you need to pick up first.


Right, this is taking a lot longer than I expected, and I have a shitload more games to do, so I shall bring you more in a day or two's time most likely...
JUNE 28, 2008 @ 12:01 PM | 15 COMMENTS

Adam's downstairs and he won't stop screaming uncontrollably


Dude really likes his Doctor Who.
JUNE 26, 2008 @ 03:21 PM | 16 COMMENTS

I sat at the desk for ages staring at the screen wondering what I'd write.


So I decided to do a short, enigmatic entry that doesn't actually say much at all.


Booyah.
MAY 24, 2008 @ 12:47 AM | 29 COMMENTS

Just had your application to SGUK rejected?

Right, I've just gone through the list of pending applicants to SGUK and realised that I have been very lax about enforcing all the rules since I took over the group and there's just too many of you to keep letting things slide. I wanted to get a bunch of new people in, and try and be a bit more open but it simply isn't working. So if you just had your application rejected it might be because:

- You don't have a profile picture and a journal/blog
- You're not from the UK and haven't told me why you're applying
- You would seem to be a girl collector, or you're only a member of the sexy groups or I deem you to be in some other way weird.
- Any other reason I deem appropriate for I am whimsical and terrifying.

This isn't a permanent ban, just fix the problem and apply again. You'll still need to be vouched in of course.

Also, noend you silly sod, I was about to let you in but you've either cancelled your application or changed your name beause I can't find you anymore.
APRIL 22, 2008 @ 03:00 PM | 31 COMMENTS

Lesson for the day:

So apparently trying to explain to two 7-year-old white boys that yelling 'YES MY BLOOD! YES MY NIGGA!' to each other across a crowded library is wrong is really awkward. Especially when you're not sure whether they honestly don't know what they're doing or they're fucking with you. Who knew?



Yes ladies and gents, it's been a good long while, hasn't it? It's been pretty much the same old since the last update. I did, however, get to go see WWE at the O2 Dome. That was fun, it's amazing how it can make you feel like a 12-year-old kid again. Unfortunately I was silly enough to mention that I'd been to see the wrestling to a woman who comes into the library where I work to download lots and lots of pictures of Randy Orton. She once told me that she knew Randy was a bad man, but that he just needed some Jesus in his life and she could set him straight. Anyhow, I told her I'd gone to see them while they were in the UK and she just flipped her shit, started almost yelling how unfair it was that I had gotten to see them before she did and left the library after telling all the other staff how incredibly unfair it was that I'd gone to see the wrestling when she was a MUCH bigger fan and I'd gotten to see 'her Randy'. Hmm. So that was fun.

Also, I had a near-miss with the Bad Bus Man today as I was leaving work to go to a meeting. I was walking to the bus stop and could see him ahead of me on the street, he'd accosted someone and I could only hear snatches of conversation, but I'm pretty sure I heard the phrase 'Because I've got all these mental powers, y'know?' and damn near ran past him while his back was turned, throwing his victima sympathetic look. I didn't have any particular desire to get trapped in another conversation about how in the future we will all leave each other psychic answerphone messages with our brains because telepathy 'is the in thing with the kids these days'.
APRIL 6, 2008 @ 10:18 AM | 38 COMMENTS

Things to do today

1. Tell someone off on the Internet for being a fucking idiot
2. Lemonparty half of SGUK
3. Finally beat Jets N Guns on Normal, damn that games hard
4. Do the washing
5. Do the shopping
6. Clean the bathroom

50% ain't all that bad.


P.S. you should probably go listen to my Muxtape and tell me how awesome my taste is.
MARCH 12, 2008 @ 05:12 PM | 33 COMMENTS

Big Poppa Creamy's Audio Goodness - The Stunning Return

Yes folks, once more I choose to descend down from the mountains of my own impeccable taste to tell you all that you are lesser people than I because you don't listen to music as good as this.

To download, click here and then right-click and 'save target as' on 'creamysmix.zip'. I don't know how you Mac people would do it, but then it's not like you're real people as such.

Social Distortion - Don't take Me For granted

Bit of a personal classic first off. I've always thought Social Distortion were an anomaly in that the lead singer quit the drugs, got cleaned up and then still made good music. This is off an album that's better than it has any right to be considering Rock and Roll's history of such people, Sex, Love and Rock and Roll. Don't Take Me For Granted is a powerful song that sets off little bombs of fist-waving nostalgia in my mind, even though the lyrics themselves contain no shared experience with my life, and Mike Ness's voice positively cracks under the weight of all the miles he's travelled and all the things he's seen. And they're STILL one of the best live bands I've ever seen.

The Loved Ones - Louisiana

I, well, loved the first Loved Ones album. I'm on the fence as to whether to label it 'emo' at all, but it was heartfelt punk rock carried off with a fire that burned in your belly and made you want to throw your body around like a madman. A shame then that the second album, for the most part, seems to abandon one of their best qualities, submerging a lot of the band's passion and fire under overly-poppy production that saps the music of it's power. There's still a few songs that manage to shine through, however, especially when the production just sits back and lets the band do what they do best. Louisiana is a simple song about simple folk, but it's all in the delivery. The last refrain in particular makes me want to punch a wall in excitement.

Tim Minchin - Rock n Roll Nerd

Bit of a shift in tone for the last song. As someone who makes music an important part of his life and gleefully embraces all aspects of his incredibly nerdery, this one strikes a little close to home. Won't say much to spoil it, you'll pick up the gist soon enough.
FEBRUARY 27, 2008 @ 02:04 PM | 32 COMMENTS

Have you just had your application to SGUK rejected?

Well fear not. It's not because there's anything horribly wrong with you (that I know of). Check my last journal entry for more details. You can see it by clicking the little arrow pointing left just up here ^^^ Go ahead, read that, I'll wait. If you still have questions, then just ask.

As for the rest of you, there's a special treat for you

Why Professional Wrestling is Awesome - Batshit Insane Japanese Edition

I've admitted in the past that I like pro wrestling. I'm not ashamed of this, because sometimes it's just freaking awesome. Take Japan for example. Professional Wrestling over there is Serious Business. The matches are still treated as serious sporting events (even though they know they're not, the cognitive dissonance is amazing), the pro wrestlers are treated as the greatest of sports stars, and great emphasis is placed on skill, like being able to get the absolute dogshit beaten out of you, or being incredibly athletic, like this guy right here (bonus points for the wacky Japanese cover of Fallout Boy with extra Engrish and Tony, if you're reading this, this guy is better than the midgets)



That shit is just mind-bending.

However, not everyone in Japan takes everything so seriously. For instance there's the company called DDT. One of their championship belts has in the past been held by a small dog, the cameraman, a female news presenter, various minor celebrities, a stuffed Hello Kitty doll, a monkey called Yatchan, and a ladder (3-time champion). To see the ladder defending it's title ina hard-fought Battle Royale, click here. The title's also been held by this terrifying powerhouse, President Ramu:



Then there's the Wrestling company called HUSTLE. HUSTLE might be one of my favourite things ever. Imagine a cross between Pro Wrestling and Power Rangers. First of all here's some highlights:



And last of all, if you only watch one video in this post, watch this one. No explanations are really necessary, and if this doesn't make you giggle with glee, it's entirely possible you don't actually have a soul, and are some kind of hideous, soulless husk.



You know, this guy must wake up and think 'Today I'm going to shoot invisible laser beams at magical princesses with my finger, accidentally kill a cameraman and wear a kick-ass robot suit that explodes when people kick me. And I'm getting PAID for it? Holy SHIT my life rules'
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 @ 04:10 AM | 13 COMMENTS

Have you just had your application to SGUK rejected?

Well fear not. It's not because there's anything horribly wrong with you (that I know of). The list of applicants to SGUK has become larger and more unwieldy than my genitals. This, somewhat paradoxically, has made it more difficult to vouch people in as it has become harder to find people they want to vouch in from the huge list. As such, I am emptying the vouch list to start again by rejecting everyone's application.

Does this mean I can't join?

Not at all, simply reapply to join SGUK and you'll be automatically added to the next vouch thread. You can do this straight away if you want.

Then what's the point of doing this?

This is just to weed out those people on the vouch list who aren't really active on the site, clicked the apply button on a whim but aren't interested in joining or the plain bone idle. This will make it easier for people who want to take part in the social side of the site to join SGUK and start attending meets and meeting people from the site.

I still have a question!

Then by all means leave a comment or send me a message and I shall endeavour to reply as soon as possible.
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