The Octopussy

An acquaintance of mine asks me to meet him at a local bar in my hometown. He's a good looking guy so we get trashed and go back to his place. He puts on a movie and well we don't actually watch it. The sex was not fantastic but not terrible either. I could hang with this guy.
We pass out on his couch. I wake up at 5am to this thing crawling across the floor and freak out. He wakes up and tells me that is his pet octopus. I promptly get dressed and bolt out of that place. I decided this relationship was never going to work. I don't want to wake up with an octopus attached to my face.

The not so ugly truth about chlamydia

So after graduation I landed a killer job in my collage town that I thought rocked, I got to keep working for the booking company and start my big kid job. I ended up hating that town in six months. I was driving back to my hometown to hang out with old high school friends every weekend.

One weekend a friend of a friend had a super rich friend in the big city. So her, another girlfriend we will call her Wild, my ex from high school before hot wings and I go into the city to party with Money (her rich friend). We get to Money's house huge btw and drive downtown. We go bar hopping all night dancing shot after shot.
We get back to Money's house and his roommate is home and up. Now my friend is hooking up with my ex, I'm totally cool with this. So that leaves Wild, Money and Roommate. Now Money is not good looking by a long shot and he was gunnin to hook up with the chick now bangin my ex. So Wild and I go out for a smoke. Roommate follows and we start getting into a three some in the rain on the deck. Unfortunately I end up on the bottom spread across wet steps. Wild on top then Roommate in a downpour. I was lit at that point so the damage to my naked back against anti slip grip on the steps never reregistered to me. Btw unless u want scars down your back don't bang on wet steps with that annoying anti slip grip.

A few days later I get a call from Wild. She has this nasty discharge and went to her doctor. Diagnosis chlamydia. So well that means I have it to. FUCK. So I get a doctors appointment. Btw same doc that handled the hot wing case. I go in and have to fess up to why I think I have chlamydia. I bring the story down to the R rated version so my mothers friends aren't so appalled. My story I slept with a friend who was recently diagnoses with chlamydia. Innocent girl hooks up with the wrong prince charming right! So they give me the exam. This time the doctor comes back and asks me if my boyfriend is abusing me. What? First what boyfriend? And why the fuck are you asking me this? So he asks me how I got the abrasions down my back. Oh fuck I forgot about that part. FUCK. Now I have to tell the truth or I'm going into some woman's rights counselor bull shit. Don't get me wrong I'm for woman's rights and all but this situation is a waste of time and money. So I briefly explain I was in a three some in the rain on the steps of a deck with anti slip grip. I was on the bottom. The person that has the chlamydia is the other chick involved in this crazy. The look on the nurses face, priceless. Side note this was my doc and nurse from when I was 10. So the results come back my doc says no chlamydia it's B.V. From bangin a chick ha. So I call Wild she goes for a second opinion she has B.V. Not chlamydia.

I'm happily that I don't have chlamydia but turns out the treatment for B.V. Makes me go into seizures. Monday at work after I take my first dose I seize and they all freak out. Defiantly not explaining this to my employer after explaining it to my doc. We will just leave it at I sometime have seizures for no apparent reason and fuck anti slip grip.

Hey I'm a rock star baby....

So hot wings guy and I break up. This is now my senior year of college. I move in with a new roommate who works for a booking company naturally I want in on some of this action. I start promoting and booking bands in my collage town. Fucking rocking good music, free shows, free beer and best of all hot musicians. I quickly meet the star band on the list of up and coming bands in this town, well they were from another state but the freshmen girls and drunks at the bars loved them. Of course when you start booking out of town bands naturally they crash at my apartment.

My roommate was a film major and her most recent project, the new and legal drug salvia. She interviewed scientist, drug counselors and my favorite part... Recruited collage kids to smoke salvia and film it.

Now she was hooking up with the lead singer of this band and I had started hooking up with the bass player. So after a show one night with this band we grab some six packs and go back to the apartment. I'm lit at this point. Shirtless with a bottle of bailies. My nickname is bailies and I'm yelling off our balcony tossing raman noodles at the drunk collage kids on the downtown streets. Anyways the band decides they want to try this salvia. So my roommate gets out the bong and butane lighter and we all hit it, naturally cameras rolling. After some debating about a missing shoe and how lonely it's mate must be. My roommate and I start making out. The drummer freaks out and goes into a speech about how your importance in life is only determined by who you dad is or knows thus determining if or where you go to collage. Ending with "I went to collage and this shit never happened". Deducing that if his dad was someone he would have attended a big ten school where chicks make out with each other. After the initial shock from the drummer naturally the lead singer and bass player jump in on the action. We end up swapping musicians for some foreplay and back again. Shirtless with scratches down my back. Needless to say this salvia experience did not make the final cut.

My hot wing experience

The summer after high school graduation, I had a fresh new boyfriend. We partied hard and stayed up late. One night after heavy drinking and probably some ridiculous drug use we ended up at my parents house out in the country. We spent the night camping out in the back yard. Well as any chick going into her first year of college dating a sophomore I attempted to give him mind blowing head. Well the alcohol and drugs convinced me it was possible for me to deep throat his entire dick. It soon became a goal I was not willing to fail at. So well I ended up just jamming his cock down my throat.
The next day we wake up to the hot morning sun and move to my bedroom. Bad idea to pass out on the back lawn. I start coughing uncontrollably all day. The sky had an odd haze and before I knew it I was having terrible asthma attacks. I get to the doctor and am given your standard examination, ears, nose and throat. Now side note my mother works in the local healthcare industry so she is friends with the nurses and my doctor. The doc comes back tells me that the smoke from the fires burning up in Canada have moved into the area and thus the reason for my coughing and relentless asthma attacks. Then he asks in front of the nurse my mother and I both know... You seem to have some severe bruising on the roof of your mouth and wants to investigate further. He asks me if I have any idea what happened and that it is very odd. So my quick whit I reply ohh last night I had some extremely hot chicken wings, could that be the cause? I'm freaking out thinking oh god he knows I had a huge cock slammed into the roof of my mouth last night. fuck. He just looks at me and says yea sure that could be it and walks out of the room. Little did I know this would not be my first experience explaining away an sexual related injury to my doctor.

Muwahaha Come draw on my walls with me!!!! My new set is up on the hopefulls page. I didn't send it in to SG becuase I need more naked pics and the lighting was a off. It was fun to shoot and I thought I would post it for everyone to enjoy.

Well I think its time to write a blog! I was just looking at the SB\'s and found this set that is soooo hot!!! ::: HOT ::: Muwhahaha Anyways. I am working on my next SG set. It\'s a simple one I have two of them posted in the SC hopefuls page. My tarantula set is blah but I like my sunset one. I had a great photog and it was a ton of fun!