Member: Conscious

Conscious Welcome to the New Age.

I’m private
 
MARCH 16, 2012 @ 09:01 PM


I've never liked the thought of drinking or smoking. It never has and never will appeal to me.



My mother struggled with depression and apparently when she had me ( I was the 2nd child) she fell into a deeper depression. I watched her cry all the time and in a way to be honest I never felt like she loved me.I never wanted to be like my older sister and wear dresses all the damn time. At one point her doctor mistakenly OD her and she attack my dad, me an my little brother with a crow bar.( Luckly my dad shut the glass door and so she attacked it. My mother showed what drinking can do to your life and family. With drugs I never wanted to lose that feeling of control(never done drugs btw nor pot) however I always feel like I am some outcast to everyone and sadly been going through a depression since I was maybe 8. I lived a life of no hope and sometimes I still do. When i think of drugs I just see how low a person can bring to them. Why the fuck would I want to hate myself even more?


But the worse part is...I always feel like nobody will understand me.


I hate living in this depression. I am glad I am getting a tiny bit better, because before I met Brian...I ....was rarely happy.
anyways these are some photos I took and Brian took some of me


zoom imagezoom image. enjoy.zoom image
Comments
Daboss

Daboss

Ireland
February 2012

MAR 16, 2012 09:23 PM

I t is good that you've found someone who brings you some relief from your depression, it is a very debilitating condition and hard to deal with on ones own.

“In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression. Dr. Sterling was right about that. I loved it because I thought it was all I had. I thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. I thought so little of myself, felt that I had such scant offerings to give to the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony.” - Elizabeth Wurtzel

Conscious

Conscious

Loganville, GA
December 2011

MAR 16, 2012 09:25 PM

I have been told your own depression is never really cured. It is as if it is a haunting for the rest of your life and it is really hard to get rid of it for good.

Daboss

Daboss

Ireland
February 2012

MAR 16, 2012 09:30 PM

I've had depression for over 20 years and I find it's more connected to me then my own shadow. It is the script-writer of my inner monologue. That's why I think it's good to have others (who you can count one) around you - to get you out of your own head. Even though, in that regard, I fail miserably as I'm very much a loner.

Daboss

Daboss

Ireland
February 2012

MAR 16, 2012 09:41 PM

I think anything locked away can fester. And can leave you with even great problems to deal with.....as I've learned to my cost. But such is life!
"Persistence. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan, 'Press on,' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
--Calvin Coolidge

Conscious

Conscious

Loganville, GA
December 2011

MAR 16, 2012 09:47 PM

hahah loving the quotes hahatongueshocked

Daboss

Daboss

Ireland
February 2012

MAR 16, 2012 09:56 PM

I tend to converse in quotes!

"When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it."

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

I'm lost
January 2006

MAR 16, 2012 10:12 PM

I've also dealt with depression for the better part of my life.

Good quotes.

The thing to remember about depression is that for many people it starts with a recessive gene that creates a self-perpetuating chemical imbalance in one's brain-chemistry. Getting help from a professional is nothing to be ashamed of, and sometimes medication can help turn that imbalance around and help one lead the kind of happy life that everyone else seems to have.

Conscious

Conscious

Loganville, GA
December 2011

MAR 16, 2012 10:33 PM

i am seeing a doctor and taking meds. They really help, but I know that depression will always be a recurring scar.

Daboss

Daboss

Ireland
February 2012

MAR 17, 2012 01:27 PM

My condition has proved to be unresponsive to medication (I've tried them all).

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