My latest addition. It's supposed to be black n grey but is still very sore and puffy from when we did it yesterday.
I'm cancer free..for now. And to keep it that way I'm going to start a cure which will take a year to complete. It wont be easy but easy enough compared to the alternative... 
Now when my body seems to be on the right path I just have to get my mind to follow it. But we'll get there eventually.
And what could be better for both body and mind than to plan and later on execute a trip to California in march
Now when my body seems to be on the right path I just have to get my mind to follow it. But we'll get there eventually.
And what could be better for both body and mind than to plan and later on execute a trip to California in march
Tomorrow the doctor will tell me whether I still got cancer or not. My last operation was a month ago and the test results have just come in. If I've still got it they'll have to remove my bladder but if I' don't I'll have to start a year long medicine cure which will not be pleasant. So my life will turn to shit or even shittier tomorrow.
If the bladder needs to be removed they also take the prostate which means that there is a 99% likelihood of me being impotent for the rest of my life. That kind of sucks (and not in a good way).
But if I'm cancer free right now we start the cure. Then I'll get to enjoy having a catheter inserted once a week for a year to use when they inject the medicine into the bladder... oh happy joy.
2011 sucked, and apparently 2012 will too.
But that's not entirely true. I've been able to enjoy myself between surgeries. And even though I'm not as strong as I used to be I'm doing a hell of a lot better than I thought I was gonna when I was really sick in spring.
I didn't do as many skydives as I wanted too because my body protested a bit but here's some of them.. everything on the film is from my camera.
If the bladder needs to be removed they also take the prostate which means that there is a 99% likelihood of me being impotent for the rest of my life. That kind of sucks (and not in a good way).
But if I'm cancer free right now we start the cure. Then I'll get to enjoy having a catheter inserted once a week for a year to use when they inject the medicine into the bladder... oh happy joy.
2011 sucked, and apparently 2012 will too.
But that's not entirely true. I've been able to enjoy myself between surgeries. And even though I'm not as strong as I used to be I'm doing a hell of a lot better than I thought I was gonna when I was really sick in spring.
I didn't do as many skydives as I wanted too because my body protested a bit but here's some of them.. everything on the film is from my camera.
I'm alive. have had a rough year but I'm doing a lot better now. I will soon post a massive blog post about everything that has happened.
Blue Skies...
Blue Skies...
I really can't decide if I sholuld go home early or just push through and stay. I've never in my life been in so much pain that I am right now. The painkillers take the edge off but not all of it. But if I go home I have to face reality and the shit back home. I'm scheduled for surgery the 4th of april and that will not change weather I go home or not
I just want something to go smooth and as planned sometime. I needed a break from home but got pain and suffering instead. I'm just so sick and tired of it all.
I just want something to go smooth and as planned sometime. I needed a break from home but got pain and suffering instead. I'm just so sick and tired of it all.
