Had a weird one at work today. I was at work, abusing the company internet policy just before lunch, when the receptionist came bursting into the office in a bit of a tizz. It turns out that one of our colleagues was having her car investigated by a spindly, shifty looking black guy in cheap trackies, T shirt and baseball cap - on our private car park, mind you. She wanted me to go out and "Do something!" So I got up and went out for a look. The guy had already gone round the back of the building trying in vain to find a way out, and was just sauntering back out the front way as I got there. So I gave him a big smile and said "Can I help you there, mate?" He sucked his teeth and mumbled, "Whatchou even askin me dat for, man?" And looked at me with these dead eyes, like I wasn't even a piece of shit to him...

Now, he was a good foot taller than me, but that wasn't what bothered me. I didn't even know what I was expected to do there. I mean, was I expected to jump him, wrestle him to the ground and sit on him for half an hour until the old bill turned up, on the suspicion that he might have nicked something but I didn't see? To get charged with something myself for taking the law into my own hands? Getting stabbed up on the way out of work a couple of weeks later because he knows where to find me?

It's all right for superheroes. All they have to do is take their glasses off, and their secret identity is safe... Kinda makes me wish I wore glasses! Instead, I have to go home feeling a bit less of a man. Because the fucker just walked off with my colleague's purse in his pocket (as it turns out) - and there was nothing I could do.

Arse.

Had a weird one at work today. I was at work, abusing the company internet policy just before lunch, when the receptionist came bursting into the office in a bit of a tizz. It turns out that one of our colleagues was having her car investigated by a spindly, shifty looking black guy in cheap trackies, T shirt and baseball cap - on our private car park, mind you. She wanted me to go out and "Do something!" So I got up and went out for a look. The guy had already gone round the back of the building trying in vain to find a way out, and was just sauntering back out the front way as I got there. So I gave him a big smile and said "Can I help you there, mate?" He sucked his teeth and mumbled, "Whatchou even askin me dat for, man?" And looked at me with these dead eyes, like I wasn't even a piece of shit to him...

Now, he was a good foot taller than me, but that wasn't what bothered me. I didn't even know what I was expected to do there. I mean, was I expected to jump him, wrestle him to the ground and sit on him for half an hour until the old bill turned up, on the suspicion that he might have nicked something but I didn't see? To get charged with something myself for taking the law into my own hands? Getting stabbed up on the way out of work a couple of weeks later because he knows where to find me?

It's all right for superheroes. All they have to do is take their glasses off, and their secret identity is safe... Kinda makes me wish I wore glasses! Instead, I have to go home feeling a bit less of a man. Because the fucker just walked off with my colleague's purse in his pocket (as it turns out) - and there was nothing I could do.

Arse.