It's weird being back.

I originally left various subscription based websites and vowed to spend less time on the internet... for many reasons, but the primary among them is because I had to spend more time more wisely.

Fighting social anxiety & depresion without the drugs is interesting, but it requires a lot of discipline. Video games, pizza, and non-necessity websites (among a great many other things) all contribute to a softening that makes me stay put, butt planted on couch or chair (or bed)

I'm at a point in my life where I need to make the best use of my time as I can, and yet when a "you got 3 months of Suicidegirls.com as a gift. for free!" email I was originally going to avoid it.

I mean, I SHOULD avoid it. I've learned a lot of things the years since I left.

(Keep in mind this is stuff that is true for me. it starts me down a slippery slope, which results in lots of eating and sitting around on my ass alone. It might be different and not apply to you.)

- Getting out and relating to people face to face > staying inside and clicking page after page.
- The reality of speaking to women face to face > the habit of staying on a computer looking at boobs.
- Going and utilizing time > sitting around, wearing down wrists (typing) burning time away online.

Basically, for me, It's not good to fight anxiety to hide behind anonymity online.

So, simply by evidence of this blog, It's clear how the plot progressed, I'm back on Suicide Girls. Why?

I don't know. Not really. I have a few ideas why...

1- I've learned to trust my gut, and I've been better at listening to my gut in recent years. My gut was telling me to sign back up... it's 3 free months.
2- Like DVD and collectible spending, I've been better at limiting my time online. As long as I avoid certain sites, the demon of "instant gratification" and it's cousin "burning away 4 hours of time" usually don't take hold of me.
3- Someone was cool enough to reactivate my account. Anonymously, but still. I thought I'd be able to find out who he/she was but that wacky anonymity thing. it's tricky. Thanks for thinking of me, mysterious shadow person*.

*(unless it was something internal at SG, like some marketing strategy to give away a 3 month membership to win back a lost customer or something...hey I can't fault them exactly... people in business gotta make the money. Whether or not I decide to stay @ the end of the 3 months, well that remains to be seen.)

Whatever it is, I'm back. I guess I'll look around a little bit. I've gained a few new powers in my years of absence. See what I can do with them here.