LIFE IS GOOD! (:Oh yeah!
I feel very optimistic (in general) and in a good mood!
The reason?
Well I just fed my brain,and my heart and my soul with so much good art that I'm going to explode! XD
Should I share?
Let's share!!!!
Ok I start with people you already know eheh
Cendres !
You should check her website out Cendres Book,
She's a great model,and not only on SG! There are some incredibly creative and colorful shots on her Book page,I enjojed especially seing all those costumes...I had the same good impression watching Star Wars (the last three) for the first time:the main thing I appreciated about that movie was the variety costumes of the princess! Loooool (very well designed btw)
Ok getting back to OUR princess...
Make sure you send her a lot of love on her set: "Rainbow Ghost"
Now..talking with her I discovered another amazing artist,which is her friend and first photographer: Nina Lins Temps
Lins Temps website
Very strong and crude photography...
A part from the message and the content of her images,I really appreciated the originality of some shoots,and her continuous experimentation.
Not all of them are perfect yet, in my opinion,but some really shine,it is worth it to check out
Talking with Maquerelle instead, (the photographer who shot Cendres's set), I discovered another interesting photographer whoom has worked with her recently:
Prudence Barthelemy
Tons of style again!
From the artists thread I found 2 big stars this week:
Konrad's art
Konrad Buss website
He does insane pencil works like this:
(I don't know if you have an idea of the patience and crazy precision that thakes to do something like this...but I have!)
And not only! Look at his photography as well!!
Yes yes yes so much talent!
Next one:
SmashedHead scribblings
SmashedHead Facebook fan page
Too good to be true right?
Such a great comic artist!
Thinkin' about how many ages of sweat and pain it takes to get to his point ^^ hurts. But some few brave and complitely mad persons seems to make it. And he's one of those living examples who reminds us:there's hope...
What else...mmh
I appreciated this one as well: Bigiddy
BenPatrick phothography
Do you recognize the girl in his portraits section?
Well we are going to shoot a set together very soon!
And most of all I am going to break his balls so much to learn whatever I can about: "How people get to wake up one day and they have become a photographer".
wonderful isn't it?
Ok this is all (for now)
I think I've spent enough time in front of the laptop for today!
Sooo before I go I just remind you to do your good action of the day and leave some sweet words here:
Dandy
And if you want keep updated!
Chocolat FlickrCHOCOL ArT
Ciaooooooo!
Ciao!
Lots of things to say,but first thing first:picures!
My hair is getting wilder and wilder, I love it!
Some from the golden dreadlock times!
Ok, now that I have your attention lets talk about my life ...
Some good news,some bad news...but mostly good news!
The bad one is that they already fired me from the brand new job!
BUUUH, this sucks a bit because I had just the time to get used to it and to learn everything and it is already time to start allover again -.- which is bad news for a lazy ass like me!
The reason? My english is not good enough to serve costumers...
What can I sa? sadly is true. And there's not much I can do about it.
I have been here in England only from 10 months now and I've never really spoken english before,it takes time and it will take liters of sweat from the little hamster in my brain to get fluent with it.
Lets get to the good news now!
Best of all, my beloved photograpy teacher and friend Fabio is moving to England as well!!!!!
Oh you have no idea how great this is for me! First of all because I was seriously missing him, and also because we work pretty well together, so I'm sure lots and lots of entusiasm and learning about photography is coming for me!
Check his page alnd leave a like if you do! He's very talented,a bit perfectionist maybe and he likes to do things the best way,no matters if that's the old way or the difficult one
The reason why he's moving is the same one that's making half of the people I know in Italy move.
Politics has been so incredibly bad in the last years that now a part from the economical crysis,that's affecting more or less all Europe,Italy is even more on its knees.
There's no job, taxes are getting worst and worst, people is really starting to stuggle and I'm quite sad about that. Thinking about the potential a beautiful country like Italy has,its richness in traditions and art especially, well it sounds a bit like wasting a paradise to me isn't it?
But at least is making my teacher coming here, i'm so happy about this!!!
He even said we can try to work together as a society! ok he will be the actual photographer and I can learn from him as an assistant! Which is something I was so looking forward!!!
My best dream is to be a portrait photographer for models
That's the main reason why I'm on Suicide Girls.
I respect female beauty so much that thinking of being able to capture it and make art with it, god!that makes me think it will be the best way to fulfill myself!
So yeah,I need to learn more but I know I will be a hopeful photographer here, and I don't think it will take too long
And talking about art,if you don't know him yet you should definately check out the page of this talented comic-artist I just discovered here! SmashedHead's scribblings
well I leave you with a pic from my teacher that I just had printed on a board and hanged in my room big satisfaction
More good news coming soon! Stay tuned!
Chocolatsuicide Flickr
CHOCOL ArT
Lots of things to say,but first thing first:picures!
My hair is getting wilder and wilder, I love it!
Some from the golden dreadlock times!
Ok, now that I have your attention lets talk about my life
...Some good news,some bad news...but mostly good news!
The bad one is that they already fired me from the brand new job!
BUUUH, this sucks a bit because I had just the time to get used to it and to learn everything and it is already time to start allover again -.- which is bad news for a lazy ass like me!
The reason? My english is not good enough to serve costumers...
What can I sa? sadly is true. And there's not much I can do about it.
I have been here in England only from 10 months now and I've never really spoken english before,it takes time and it will take liters of sweat from the little hamster in my brain to get fluent with it.
Lets get to the good news now!
Best of all, my beloved photograpy teacher and friend Fabio is moving to England as well!!!!!
Oh you have no idea how great this is for me! First of all because I was seriously missing him, and also because we work pretty well together, so I'm sure lots and lots of entusiasm and learning about photography is coming for me!
Check his page alnd leave a like if you do! He's very talented,a bit perfectionist maybe
and he likes to do things the best way,no matters if that's the old way or the difficult one The reason why he's moving is the same one that's making half of the people I know in Italy move.
Politics has been so incredibly bad in the last years that now a part from the economical crysis,that's affecting more or less all Europe,Italy is even more on its knees.
There's no job, taxes are getting worst and worst, people is really starting to stuggle and I'm quite sad about that. Thinking about the potential a beautiful country like Italy has,its richness in traditions and art especially, well it sounds a bit like wasting a paradise to me isn't it?
But at least is making my teacher coming here, i'm so happy about this!!!
He even said we can try to work together as a society! ok he will be the actual photographer and I can learn from him as an assistant! Which is something I was so looking forward!!!
My best dream is to be a portrait photographer for models
That's the main reason why I'm on Suicide Girls.
I respect female beauty so much that thinking of being able to capture it and make art with it, god!that makes me think it will be the best way to fulfill myself!
So yeah,I need to learn more but I know I will be a hopeful photographer here, and I don't think it will take too long
And talking about art,if you don't know him yet you should definately check out the page of this talented comic-artist I just discovered here! SmashedHead's scribblings
well I leave you with a pic from my teacher that I just had printed on a board and hanged in my room
big satisfaction More good news coming soon! Stay tuned!
Chocolatsuicide Flickr
CHOCOL ArT
I want to try and translate a page from the blog of my italian teacher and mentor Salvatore Brizzi.
(Only for who understand italian,sorry"A chi ha sarà dato(")
I like his point of view on reality,I find his philosophy very inspiring and it always help me reading his articles when I feel a bit down ^^
This time his blog was about "the pursuit of happiness", something that may interest anybody
I like to share it in case someone would like to talk about it or just get some inspiration from it like I do.
"The pursuit of happiness"
"The pursuit of happiness can be conducted in two ways:
-through quantity,in the time-space dimension
-trough quality, into eternity
Our world is based on the pursuit of a fake happiness,built looking at classical canons about being happy: the football player,the showgirl, money,physical beauty,health and intelligence as sciolism...
The pursuit of this kind of happiness is a mirage,is unreachable by definition.
I tell you why: If my being happy has to depend from a social status, from something I have got or from someone who loves me,in the very moment I get to loose them, my happiness is finished. My life then turns into a continuous query for exterior gratification, seeking for anything that saves me from feeling the void I have inside.
But,since all of us are "condemned" to an eternal and immovable happiness,in order to evolve in that direction we must embrace and accept that interior void and after we'll be able to get over it.
It happens then that every kind of happiness tied to external gratification of personality,though is not something wrong,is bound to disappear.
When we'll realize that every kind of gratification achieved within the world of quantity can't be nothing but fleeting, or it is subject to time and to space, then we'll turn to another kind of gratification which is timeless and spaceless.
Is therefore essential that we keep being deluded by fake satisfaction,the one that is only for hiding temporarily the void.
What is an handicap?
For example, being blind is considered by our society, an handicap. This happens because blindness is something that present society place within the "against-happiness" matters.
A disabled,according to our sick ideas, is an unlucky person, because clearly he can't play football or she can't be a showgirl!
A blind,or a guy on wheelchair are no more competitive within the system!
And most of the times they see themselves as unlucky as well,so they feel unhappy because according to canons of the consumer society they are unproductive...and maybe they try their best to get back to be competitive, to be like the others,the ones that as a matter of fact are the actual unlucky.
usually we feel pitiful for disabled people,because we think they are going to live a second class life. The disabled person can only resign to live an unlucky life and he'll never get to achieve the real happiness: the one that comes with appearance!
Nobody thinks that a disabled person might be forced to look inside himself much more than anybody else...till he discovers where the real happiness' home is, the real "interior skill" ,the one that's no more conditioned by space-temporal matters.
He might then get to recognize he's "able to live" more then others are -within the Here and Now- and discover the complete disability of those who consider themselves able and dare to be pitiful for him.
Our life condition are the best we can desire,but they have to be seen in another context,in an evolutive paradigm,no more within the dichotomy lucky/unlucky.
Be blind,for example,moreover than giving you the possibility of a deepest reflection about the meaning of your life,gets you to strengthen a different sensibility, a completely different notion of "seeing" that you'll take with you for the rest of your soul existence.
One life as a sight-less within the whole soul existence (that lasts millions of years), is like spending one day blindfolded for a game within the whole earthly life!
It costs you effort,but you know that will last for a short while,and you know it will finish.
what will we keep with us when we loose the physical body?
We won't get with us love,tenderness and compassion like objects inside a piece of luggage. Rather we'll reach the afterlife coated with these superior emotions. The tenderness we have lived with,will have became our body and our subtle senses.
If we forgave on Earth,in our afterlife, forgiveness will bubble over every landscape and person that will surround us,but if we won't have forgave,even if we will be in paradise,flowers will not smell of forgiveness and people won't release forgiveness.
Paradise and Hell are only representations of who we have been on Earth,of the quality we acquired with experience and mistakes and of the ones we refused to develop with our stubbornness.
Life gives us every second the lessons that we more need. If we live a life were nobody is taking care of us,or a life where somebody has to take care of you 24/7 because maybe we are inside an iron-lung, we'll be sure that in our next lives we'll be the first to run to help anybody is in need. We will have developed a sensibility that others will never get to have.
Instead we usually consider a life like that as unlucky!!!
Get, for example, paralyzed in a bed and being able to move only the eyes...
Think about how many things will no more be taken for granted...
Think about how many things will no more be possible to say...
Before we use to talk,mostly bullshit continuously,and now we can only hope they we'll ask us the right question because we can only answer with a yes or a no.
Can you imagine what kind of skills one can develop in that condition?
Are really unlucky those people? One mouth...one year..,ten years...in an hospital bed and the meaning of life become crystal clear!
A walk in the hospital garden becomes a walk in the Garden of Eden!
How deep do we need to go down in the Darkness of life to be able to see its light?"
- It makes you think this guy isn't it? Such a good provocateur!
I hope the translation was comprehensible ^^
Let me know your taught!
(Only for who understand italian,sorry
"A chi ha sarà dato(") I like his point of view on reality,I find his philosophy very inspiring and it always help me reading his articles when I feel a bit down ^^
This time his blog was about "the pursuit of happiness", something that may interest anybody
I like to share it in case someone would like to talk about it or just get some inspiration from it like I do.
"The pursuit of happiness"
"The pursuit of happiness can be conducted in two ways:
-through quantity,in the time-space dimension
-trough quality, into eternity
Our world is based on the pursuit of a fake happiness,built looking at classical canons about being happy: the football player,the showgirl, money,physical beauty,health and intelligence as sciolism...
The pursuit of this kind of happiness is a mirage,is unreachable by definition.
I tell you why: If my being happy has to depend from a social status, from something I have got or from someone who loves me,in the very moment I get to loose them, my happiness is finished. My life then turns into a continuous query for exterior gratification, seeking for anything that saves me from feeling the void I have inside.
But,since all of us are "condemned" to an eternal and immovable happiness,in order to evolve in that direction we must embrace and accept that interior void and after we'll be able to get over it.
It happens then that every kind of happiness tied to external gratification of personality,though is not something wrong,is bound to disappear.
When we'll realize that every kind of gratification achieved within the world of quantity can't be nothing but fleeting, or it is subject to time and to space, then we'll turn to another kind of gratification which is timeless and spaceless.
Is therefore essential that we keep being deluded by fake satisfaction,the one that is only for hiding temporarily the void.
What is an handicap?
For example, being blind is considered by our society, an handicap. This happens because blindness is something that present society place within the "against-happiness" matters.
A disabled,according to our sick ideas, is an unlucky person, because clearly he can't play football or she can't be a showgirl!
A blind,or a guy on wheelchair are no more competitive within the system!
And most of the times they see themselves as unlucky as well,so they feel unhappy because according to canons of the consumer society they are unproductive...and maybe they try their best to get back to be competitive, to be like the others,the ones that as a matter of fact are the actual unlucky.
usually we feel pitiful for disabled people,because we think they are going to live a second class life. The disabled person can only resign to live an unlucky life and he'll never get to achieve the real happiness: the one that comes with appearance!
Nobody thinks that a disabled person might be forced to look inside himself much more than anybody else...till he discovers where the real happiness' home is, the real "interior skill" ,the one that's no more conditioned by space-temporal matters.
He might then get to recognize he's "able to live" more then others are -within the Here and Now- and discover the complete disability of those who consider themselves able and dare to be pitiful for him.
Our life condition are the best we can desire,but they have to be seen in another context,in an evolutive paradigm,no more within the dichotomy lucky/unlucky.
Be blind,for example,moreover than giving you the possibility of a deepest reflection about the meaning of your life,gets you to strengthen a different sensibility, a completely different notion of "seeing" that you'll take with you for the rest of your soul existence.
One life as a sight-less within the whole soul existence (that lasts millions of years), is like spending one day blindfolded for a game within the whole earthly life!
It costs you effort,but you know that will last for a short while,and you know it will finish.
what will we keep with us when we loose the physical body?
We won't get with us love,tenderness and compassion like objects inside a piece of luggage. Rather we'll reach the afterlife coated with these superior emotions. The tenderness we have lived with,will have became our body and our subtle senses.
If we forgave on Earth,in our afterlife, forgiveness will bubble over every landscape and person that will surround us,but if we won't have forgave,even if we will be in paradise,flowers will not smell of forgiveness and people won't release forgiveness.
Paradise and Hell are only representations of who we have been on Earth,of the quality we acquired with experience and mistakes and of the ones we refused to develop with our stubbornness.
Life gives us every second the lessons that we more need. If we live a life were nobody is taking care of us,or a life where somebody has to take care of you 24/7 because maybe we are inside an iron-lung, we'll be sure that in our next lives we'll be the first to run to help anybody is in need. We will have developed a sensibility that others will never get to have.
Instead we usually consider a life like that as unlucky!!!
Get, for example, paralyzed in a bed and being able to move only the eyes...
Think about how many things will no more be taken for granted...
Think about how many things will no more be possible to say...
Before we use to talk,mostly bullshit continuously,and now we can only hope they we'll ask us the right question because we can only answer with a yes or a no.
Can you imagine what kind of skills one can develop in that condition?
Are really unlucky those people? One mouth...one year..,ten years...in an hospital bed and the meaning of life become crystal clear!
A walk in the hospital garden becomes a walk in the Garden of Eden!
How deep do we need to go down in the Darkness of life to be able to see its light?"
- It makes you think this guy isn't it?
Such a good provocateur!I hope the translation was comprehensible ^^
Let me know your taught!
Hey hey hey!
I have one minute time! So I take the chance for a little update!
The new job is going well
Is fucking crazy buisy BUT! they respect my time and my persona, meaning I have my days off, when my shift is finish I don't need to beg anybody to leave and go to live my life, and they treat me normally,without the need of telling me off and behave upset from 7 in the morning to 6 p.m for just one mistake! O.o (all of this and much more used to happen in the old job)
So I'm quite happy with it
Best of all, I get to do my 8 hours straight, and when I finally go home I can die in peace! Not like before that I get home and I have just the time to sit my lovely butt and it is already time to go back there again!
Ok ok I could go on forever, I have so many reasons to be mad with my old employees, but! there's no need for that, few more days (very few actually!) and it will all be part of the past
LET'S TALK ABOUT SG NOW!
New set coming soon! Shooted by one of the best artist I know which is Lavezzaro
Here's a little preview:
It is queued for Member Review on December 18th so finger crossed for that!
Ok but in the meantime don't forget "Dandy" please!
It will always need your love!
And talking about love...
Here are some of my faves in Member Review where you can direct all the best feedback as well!
Von_Chaos : My absolute favourite!
Margarette : I can't wait to see her set in MR!!!
Delora : this unbelivable angel!
Axys : This girl is such an artist in so many fields! I absolutely love her and I want her to be pink so bad! Vote for her! ( her set is self shoot and I can't belive it!) So good
Cendres : I mean, are you serious?! Have you seen those eyes??! Her set is a work of art! Great job Maquerelle !
Vagma : such a cool personality ^^
Maisie : She's not just pretty,she's a very good photographer too!
Ituit :Maaaan she's so fuckin' sexy! And another incredible artist too!!
Strawberrysin : ok this gal's body is just breathtaking!
I could go on forever!! And I will,next time Let's make them pink in the meantime!
This is it for now, in case I survive this week of double working time I will tell you more sooooon!
Kisses and hugs! Take care!
I have one minute time! So I take the chance for a little update!
The new job is going well
Is fucking crazy buisy BUT! they respect my time and my persona, meaning I have my days off, when my shift is finish I don't need to beg anybody to leave and go to live my life, and they treat me normally,without the need of telling me off and behave upset from 7 in the morning to 6 p.m for just one mistake! O.o (all of this and much more used to happen in the old job)
So I'm quite happy with it
Best of all, I get to do my 8 hours straight, and when I finally go home I can die in peace! Not like before that I get home and I have just the time to sit my lovely butt and it is already time to go back there again!
Ok ok I could go on forever, I have so many reasons to be mad with my old employees, but! there's no need for that, few more days (very few actually!) and it will all be part of the past
LET'S TALK ABOUT SG NOW!
New set coming soon! Shooted by one of the best artist I know which is Lavezzaro
Here's a little preview:
It is queued for Member Review on December 18th so finger crossed for that!
Ok but in the meantime don't forget "Dandy" please!
It will always need your love!
And talking about love...
Here are some of my faves in Member Review where you can direct all the best feedback as well!
Von_Chaos : My absolute favourite!
Margarette : I can't wait to see her set in MR!!!
Delora : this unbelivable angel!
Axys : This girl is such an artist in so many fields! I absolutely love her and I want her to be pink so bad! Vote for her!
( her set is self shoot and I can't belive it!) So goodCendres : I mean, are you serious?! Have you seen those eyes??! Her set is a work of art! Great job Maquerelle !
Vagma : such a cool personality ^^
Maisie : She's not just pretty,she's a very good photographer too!
Ituit :Maaaan she's so fuckin' sexy! And another incredible artist too!!
Strawberrysin : ok this gal's body is just breathtaking!
I could go on forever!! And I will,next time
Let's make them pink in the meantime!This is it for now, in case I survive this week of double working time I will tell you more sooooon!
Kisses and hugs! Take care!
Hey hey!!
First of all, guys thank you sooo much for your lovely comments! They meant A LOT to me!
After reading them I felt like I was full with energy and in a good mood again yeeh!
So since it had just stopped raining, I took my camera and I went outside hoping the rainbow would have come out, and guess what:
First of all, guys thank you sooo much for your lovely comments! They meant A LOT to me!
After reading them I felt like I was full with energy and in a good mood again yeeh!
So since it had just stopped raining, I took my camera and I went outside hoping the rainbow would have come out, and guess what:
Isn't this symbolic?
Since then I'm getting on very well with my boyfriend too, we usually get on well anyway,but this time I had really seen the storm between us, and now is rainbow time!!! <3
Another very good piece of news is that it seems like I finally found a new job!!!
I went today for a trial in a coffee shop,and it was good. They are happy with me,I'm happy with them, and most important thing of all, they will pay me the hour I do and no more extra hours for free I will never let that happen again!!!
So, translated, means more time to do art, same pay
But,there's a but, that job is only available as part-time at the moment, and what I need is more than that.
It was ok for me anyway,I would have looked for something else like some cleaning hous here and there to complete the wage...instead, as soon as I went home (I feel so lucky today!) I received another call from another coffeshop for a full time position!!!
I start on monday,and if I like it,I'll stay there, if not I will still have the other one that I already know I like ^^
Only spot in all this, the guy who is supposed to take my place in the restaurant can't came next week, so they asked me to stay a week more and since I on't want to loose the new job, nor create problems for them I will do both and brobably die lool!
I'm joking don't worry! I will not die, it is going to be a tought week,but I will survive! (and it is more money anyway!)
The reason because I'm so looking for money this time is because my boy had a wonderful idea,wich was: let's buy a car,lets buy plenty of brushes,mops, soaps, cleaning stuff... and let's open our own cleaning company!!!
(he's now studying to get the driving licence,because since now he's been driving only the motorbike..)
We can do that because his CV is great in that field,that's what he mostly does so he's got lots of experience, and the reason why it will be a great idea is that we can do it as an additional job since it becomes a buisness that's enough for us on its own,and we are our own bosses,wich is amazing!! and decide how many hours we want to do,and when and with whoom And most of all we get to spend a lot of time together.
I definately want to do this,I can't wait to buy the car!!!
Now,since I know this week I will not have much time to post here, I remind you about my friend "Dandy" always there for you in Member Review
Aaaand I start to tell you that I did a new set with Lavezzaro in London and I will soon post some preview! So stay tuneeeeeeeeed! <3
And here I am again!
This time I would like to share with you some taughts about FEAR... (yes it is Halloween,let's take this chance!)
Lately I've been thinking a lot about it. I've noticed how much fear I have inside,about lots of things,and how many problems that causes to me...
To be honest I can see my life is almost perfect,I'm one of the luckyest persons in the world,and there is nothing commonly seen as scary I have to deal with.
But this makes me think.
Is fear(or any kind of emotion), something related to what is outside, or it only depends on how YOU perceive what it is outside?
I belive in the second one. And that perception depends complitely on what is inside,meaning if you are weak/fragile/over-emotional inside, whatever is outside,even the most wonderful enviable reality can look,one day so incredibly good that you can't belive it,and the day after so dark that you feel like dieing!
Well this is me,and I'm studing myself here
I'm probably the most emotional person I know...I think I haven't yet lived one day without crying at least once,being it for sadness or for joy...
So of course I'm scared,because you can breake me so easily! ^^
Lately I've made my boyfriend mad,and I'm so sorry about that! (can you imagine how would be, living with somebody like me?!)
I behaved very bad with him,and he didn't deserve it. All because of my stupid fear of not being good enough!
I think this is my biggest problem ever.
I'm always scared people will stop to love me as soon as they realize I'm not good enough...meaning,I'm not clever enough,pretty enough, funny enough, interesting enough etc... depending on the situation.
I'm aware of how much stupid is this,but what can I do? I feel scared for real,and this influence everything I do...
Because of this for example,no matter how much my boyfriend prooves me he loves me, the only one time he will give me a little less attention,I will make a tragedy out of nothing
I need people to give me continuous positive feedback, just because I don't belive enought in myself I don't expect people to keep beliving in me either, I more easily belive they can get bored and abandon me from one day to another.
The funny thing is that I understand all this with my head, but is not my head what i use as a filter to interpret reality,so when it comes to the moment i should remember what I just said and keep cool,my heart starts telling me bullshit about what's happening,and I have to cry again
Another sad aspect of this is that I really love art,and I would love to spend all the time possible experimenting with it, but I'm not confident enough to think people can like what I do enough to buy it.
That's why I've never really gave it a chance,and I always end up doing shit jobs just to pay the rent,that steal from mre all the time to do something else related to art.
Today I read something in the blog of Holley that was really inspiring for me, I appreciate so much people brave enough to belive in their dream and put everything into them!
Maaan I really have to develope some balls here!!! They would be so useful to me O.o
Ok this post has ben a bit sad I know, but don't worry I'm not giving up, I've been fighting my scary phantoms all my life (eveybody has got some ^^) and belive me I'm getting better,so with time,I know there's hope for some little balls to come!
At least I'm sharing this! It is a start point
And if you see I don't post enough here please kick my ass,because is not that I lack of time to blog,but as usual I'm warried what I have to say may not be interesting enough to be written! -_-'
Now! Psycologist,thank you for lending an ear,this is it for today
I will leave you with a couple of pictures of me last Halloween, waiting for the new one to come!
Happy Haloween to everybody!!
This time I would like to share with you some taughts about FEAR... (yes it is Halloween,let's take this chance!)
Lately I've been thinking a lot about it. I've noticed how much fear I have inside,about lots of things,and how many problems that causes to me...
To be honest I can see my life is almost perfect,I'm one of the luckyest persons in the world,and there is nothing commonly seen as scary I have to deal with.
But this makes me think.
Is fear(or any kind of emotion), something related to what is outside, or it only depends on how YOU perceive what it is outside?
I belive in the second one. And that perception depends complitely on what is inside,meaning if you are weak/fragile/over-emotional inside, whatever is outside,even the most wonderful enviable reality can look,one day so incredibly good that you can't belive it,and the day after so dark that you feel like dieing!
Well this is me,and I'm studing myself here
I'm probably the most emotional person I know...I think I haven't yet lived one day without crying at least once,being it for sadness or for joy...
So of course I'm scared,because you can breake me so easily! ^^
Lately I've made my boyfriend mad,and I'm so sorry about that!
(can you imagine how would be, living with somebody like me?!) I behaved very bad with him,and he didn't deserve it. All because of my stupid fear of not being good enough!
I think this is my biggest problem ever.
I'm always scared people will stop to love me as soon as they realize I'm not good enough...meaning,I'm not clever enough,pretty enough, funny enough, interesting enough etc... depending on the situation.
I'm aware of how much stupid is this,but what can I do? I feel scared for real,and this influence everything I do...
Because of this for example,no matter how much my boyfriend prooves me he loves me, the only one time he will give me a little less attention,I will make a tragedy out of nothing
I need people to give me continuous positive feedback, just because I don't belive enought in myself I don't expect people to keep beliving in me either, I more easily belive they can get bored and abandon me from one day to another.
The funny thing is that I understand all this with my head, but is not my head what i use as a filter to interpret reality,so when it comes to the moment i should remember what I just said and keep cool,my heart starts telling me bullshit about what's happening,and I have to cry again
Another sad aspect of this is that I really love art,and I would love to spend all the time possible experimenting with it, but I'm not confident enough to think people can like what I do enough to buy it.
That's why I've never really gave it a chance,and I always end up doing shit jobs just to pay the rent,that steal from mre all the time to do something else related to art.
Today I read something in the blog of Holley that was really inspiring for me, I appreciate so much people brave enough to belive in their dream and put everything into them!
Maaan I really have to develope some balls here!!! They would be so useful to me O.o
Ok this post has ben a bit sad I know, but don't worry I'm not giving up, I've been fighting my scary phantoms all my life (eveybody has got some ^^) and belive me I'm getting better,so with time,I know there's hope for some little balls to come!
At least I'm sharing this! It is a start point
And if you see I don't post enough here please kick my ass,because is not that I lack of time to blog,but as usual I'm warried what I have to say may not be interesting enough to be written! -_-'
Now! Psycologist,thank you for lending an ear,this is it for today
I will leave you with a couple of pictures of me last Halloween, waiting for the new one to come!
Happy Haloween to everybody!!
Hey hey hey!
Hallo everybody
I've just come across some great sets in MR,
sooo please take a look at these gorgeous ladies and send them A LOT of love!!
Anke "Animal Boy"
Pavone "La Flor de Lis"
ROUSE "Dreams of Paradise"
DeckLynn "Shark Bite"
GI_Jo "Scarlett"
Kitty Miau "Sweet Perfection"
Eddward "Picture Perfect"
Vayda_ "Frolic"
Hallo everybody
I've just come across some great sets in MR,
sooo please take a look at these gorgeous ladies and send them A LOT of love!!
Anke "Animal Boy"
Pavone "La Flor de Lis"
ROUSE "Dreams of Paradise"
DeckLynn "Shark Bite"
GI_Jo "Scarlett"
Kitty Miau "Sweet Perfection"
Eddward "Picture Perfect"
Vayda_ "Frolic"
And Chocolat is back!! (from hell)
Thank you for all the support , it has been very kind of you and very much appreciated ^^
It has been already a week that i'm feeling better, but i've been so buisy trying to find a new job (no good news jet on that front) and helping my boyfriend with a tons of burocratic breake balls about getting a visa to come on holiday in Italy with me! (what a nightmare!)
Anyway! Now I'm perfectly good, and it seems that we have managed the most of it about the visa,and we will get it soon! I hope so
Our plan is to spend the New Years Eve in Italy yeeeh! And to make him finally meet my parents,aaand to say goodbye to my sister as well that is going to leave her nest (she has always lived in my parent's house) and fly to AUSTRALIA! mooving there with her boyfriend!
Exciting perspective isn't it?
And apart from all this... I've just discovered an amazing artist!!
I'm totally in love with her art!!!
She is Apory and if I love her as a model, I think I like her even more as a photographer!
Most of her pictures are just so fresh and clever!!! I wish to be one day as good as she is!
Take a look at her Flickr if you are interested, I found it very very inspiring
Apory's Flickr
Thank you Apory!
I want more time to studyyyyyyy! Ahhhhrghhh! O.o
Kisses!
Ehi! Don't forget to send some love to my set in Member Review!!!! Please!
Dandy
Thank you for all the support , it has been very kind of you and very much appreciated ^^
It has been already a week that i'm feeling better, but i've been so buisy trying to find a new job (no good news jet on that front) and helping my boyfriend with a tons of burocratic breake balls about getting a visa to come on holiday in Italy with me! (what a nightmare!)
Anyway! Now I'm perfectly good, and it seems that we have managed the most of it about the visa,and we will get it soon! I hope so
Our plan is to spend the New Years Eve in Italy yeeeh! And to make him finally meet my parents,aaand to say goodbye to my sister as well that is going to leave her nest (she has always lived in my parent's house) and fly to AUSTRALIA! mooving there with her boyfriend!
Exciting perspective isn't it?
And apart from all this... I've just discovered an amazing artist!!
I'm totally in love with her art!!!
She is Apory and if I love her as a model, I think I like her even more as a photographer!
Most of her pictures are just so fresh and clever!!! I wish to be one day as good as she is!
Take a look at her Flickr if you are interested, I found it very very inspiring
Apory's Flickr
Thank you Apory!
I want more time to studyyyyyyy! Ahhhhrghhh! O.o
Kisses!
Ehi! Don't forget to send some love to my set in Member Review!!!! Please!
Dandy
Guys,
I'm super sick!
I've got a virol respiratory infection (my boy had it last week,and now it is my time)...which means 39 degrees fever,my head is going to explode and my throat is on fire! Plus,I can't stand because of the dizzyness, I sweat all the time and I shake.
Beautiful isn't it?
Here's a funny picture about all this:
I can't wait to be good again!!!!!
I'm super sick!
I've got a virol respiratory infection (my boy had it last week,and now it is my time)...which means 39 degrees fever,my head is going to explode and my throat is on fire! Plus,I can't stand because of the dizzyness, I sweat all the time and I shake.
Beautiful isn't it?
Here's a funny picture about all this:
I can't wait to be good again!!!!!
Yuppy!
I've just seen this in the Fan Art thread:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first fan art! yeey! Thank you Fimbis! I really appreciate it! <3
Aaand, talkin' about art....
I want to show you one big collage I've done ^^
RHYTHM:
I've just seen this in the Fan Art thread:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My first fan art! yeey! Thank you Fimbis! I really appreciate it! <3
Aaand, talkin' about art....
I want to show you one big collage I've done ^^
RHYTHM:
All the images I used have been downloaded from the web,slightly modified and printed in B/W , except for the two birds in the middle, wich I drew myself:
The whole composition is about Rhythm in every form I could think of, from rhythm in music to the one in the shapes of a shell or a human body, or from the rhythm in the following of seasons or stages of life,from birth to death...
Sadly I haven't got a wall whit enough free space to hang it, so it will never be finished,at least until I eventually move, but if you want to imagine it finished, then there should be half a guitar attached in the bottom right corner, and some drum sticks,plectrums,guitar cords stuck here and there..
The guitar I'm talking about is real,not a picture! ^^
I went in some music shop, to ask if they had any damaged instruments that they couldn't sell, to give me for free, and I found this black acoustic gutar, that had the left side complitely crushed and that was absolutely perfect for what I needed it!
So I went to my dad workplace and I asked him to cut off the broken part with a saw .(sorry I haven't got a picture of this) the cut was a diagonal one,in order to keep all the handle of the guitar,and to make it come out of the wall once hanged up in the collage...
And at least but not last,I built this DNA (which is all about rhythm as well) structure(made with straws) to use as a frame for the whole composition:
This is it! let me know what you think about it
