i am a miserable lonely bastard..... its funny how comfortable i feel sharing my true self with strangers.... as opposed to people i actually know. yes im drunk blogging, but its better then the alternative... so i got really drunk tonight and started texting someone and telling them things i should have kept to myself. but what can you do, right? my darkest secret is there IS ONE person that truly excites me and makes me happy im alive, but to her im just a FRIEND... i dont even have the balls to tell her to her face to face how she makes me feel, so in a moment of drunken weakness i texted her. and as you know that never ends well so here i am blogging about it.... and yes the irony of "say what ya mean, mean what ya say" is not lost on me.... what can i say, when it comes to being honest with myself and my feelings im a huge CHICKENSHIT... but at least when im drunk i can be honest with myself and strangers, right? so theres something. but i have the distinct feeling i'll probably die cold and alone......