So, my last girl friend attempted suicide, almost got me evicted from my apartment and cost me 1,600$ dollars in bills. Yea, that is why I haven't been so talkative on this here blog. Well, I'm single, living in my own place for once and am in school after 5 semesters of "vacation" in Iraq. I'm being honest when I say that the time I have been back from my deployment has been my bet and worst time. I suffered from depression for 7 months and am really struggling to get back into school mode. Also, I have gained weight due to my depression and drinking habits. So, I am trying to pull myself out and up back into the old Keith. Anyways new guns and new tattoos are on the way

Life has done a triple 180, yes I'm very dizzy. In one day I went from having a apt, to being evictetd then back again. I also faced the chance I could be seriously injured. I could not have had a more fucked up day. More on this later, if I survive the morning.

It's been months sheesh, yep stuff and more stuff.

Blarg life is odd, I get back to my old job to find it has become very nit picky and petty. Not the same tech job I left . I'm a computer consultant on IU's campus and they have turned it into a very tedious job in some ways. In other news the colts won....WHO CARES. SImply not me, right now I'm enjoying the 6th MIller High Life after work and deciding it's ok to cut myself because I enjoy the pain. How are things in your world?

Home, it's strange, I feel like a year went by and I wasn't given the memo. More to come....

Sheesh, what a year is has been, I know it's just middle November but going through this year in Iraq was different than another year at IU studying chemistry. I really believe that there is a total reality paradigm switch between here and being home. At times through the year I couldn't comprehend what life was like back In Indiana and at times I also couldn't imagine this deployment ever actually coming to an end. Whats more, I've always had plenty to say and being here doing what we do I've had plenty of time to sit and think about everything many times over along with trying to find what I wanted to for the rest of my life. In the course of this year I've gotten in better shape gotten out of shape and back in again. I've been blown up, shot at, been sprayed with uman waste, seen things that would gross out ER doctors and seen a culture drastically different than mine. I have 100's of pictures and these are just a glimpse of what has transpired in the year since I arrived in the Middle East. i've had my account here since 2003, when I first attended IU and had my first apt. Seems like it was only yesterday, your 20's are a period of life where 20 years of stimulation and experiences are condensed into 10, not to mention the time where you truly fill the mold you were cast from. Made many mistakes and as many friends. I'm nearly 25 and i don't know where the last 7 years went. Fuck, I've been in the military over years now and am sgt. I never would have guessed I'd be where I am now 8 years ago, let alone have tattoos or be in the military. It amazes me how fast time goes by when you aren't watching. As a kid I and I assume most other kids take for granted the time we have, as if every day was limbo and we never lost any time to play and only see today, tomorrow never existed just today. School was the inconvience that we suffered to get to our play time. As we went through our blissful formative years watching motnhs go by and winters come and go we never quite appreciate the time we are afforded. Like most things we only appreciate them when they are gone. We sit in our dark kitchen watching the clock tick past 2 a.m, drinking a over-poured whiskey and coke. Standing there, looking into the reflection of your face in the window over the sink, thinking to yourself so this is what I look like? And as you stad there gulping the poorly poured dirnk fast so the next one can be mixed better it occurs to you how right now, as you stand there you are watching more of your life pass by like the whiskey in the bottle on the counter. And you want to sieze the time and make it your instrument to wield but all you can do is find some rationalization. You look at the clock which has snuck past 2 and is tiptoing on 3:27 a.m. The buzz has done its job and you slop in aother drink and sharply rap the bottle on the counter in contempt as if time will think twice to pull any more tricks on you. The air seems to be thicker in the wee hours past midnight, as if every new day has to spread out all the air anew. The bottle is laying on its side in quite composure, happily empty but for a sip. Time might just be a bottle whiskey, un opened it's full of promise and expectation, when empty it leaves you with dull memories, a sense of loss and the only palpable evidence of it's existence is scattered in your brain, broken in pieces, like the whiskey bottle on your kitchen floor.

Blllaaarggg, once again I am sloth in updating my one and only "journal" per se...I sit here at an odd juncture, going home on leave soon, also coming to the last 4th of my deployment in the sandbox...I hope all is well in sg land, the Paris Hilton debacle is amusing but sad, throw her ass in the klink like the rest. On the whole, this year has flown by, I guess it helps time pass to be mortared, shot at and IED'D. Heh, you get used to it. in some sick manner it is almost annoying, the nerve of these insurgents to mortar us, I'm trying to sleep...Hummm, well not much to report I have stopped masturbating in order to fully appreciate Nicole's biological wares...She is the Awsome, also she is the only one who can equal me in coffee drinking...As to my thoughts on SG, it ws nice to have a few sets I liked in a row. Here in Iraq without sex, it sucks. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a sex fiend and am seriously depraved err deprived of relief...Anywho I'm back home in 11 days so let the good times roll bitches