distinct disadvantages of living in another country - boyfriend cuts hand (chopping an onion) almost passes out is alone, and can't drive to the hospital.
i find out about it in a text, and i'm starting to get frantic, but ends up when i get home that he's been bleeding tons and is worried it needs stitches.
i'm trying to evaluate from afar, with no pictures, just a description, and i think he should go to the hosp. so he goes, his mom and bro come to pick him up, he comes home a few hours later, and i just can't stop doting on him.
i want to make everything for him, do everything for him, i am that type of woman.
i love to nurture, and he's normally such an independent guy, that i don't have the opportunity to as much.
i have to say, the old fashioned way is the way to go.
taking care of a man has a great sense of satisfaction associated with it for me, guess because my mom's that way and that's how i was raised.
if i could do it i would make his breakfast, and bring him whatever he needs to feel better...<3
and last night before he went to the hospital i told him i loved him, and he said he loved me too....aw and it was serous not trolly like sometimes when we're playing games, or just talking.
and it made me think about how much it would suck to lose him, but that's how it should be right?
you should feel like this person means so much to you if you lost them, you'd be a bit lost yourself.
i really love him.
it feels good.
and how i get to try to spoil him from afar.
with my sweetness and thoughfulness. i'm pretty good at it <3
xoxo,
Cass

hows it going? just another week for me, busy busy work, and i always feel like i never get any time to really relax.
well....
i missed last weekend going to Calgary - we had this big thing planned to go to Wine Stage and stay at a boutique hotel, and just hang for the weekend, would have been so awesome. i am so sad that i couldn't get the cash together to make it work. ever since i moved to the new place, i swear the extra 400.00 a month is really hurting me. i just wanna go to Calg for good tbh. I need to finish losing my weight so that i can be a hot mama though, and i'm excited to think this summer will be the first time in so many years that i'll feel hot. here are some pics of my progression:



i've been extremely flakey about juicing this week but back on the bandwagon tonight, and tomorrow. it's weird when i can eat whatever i want i still want heathy stuff. i hope i'm changing the way i think about food for good.

what are you guys upto?
<3
Cass

how was everyone's weekend? i can't believe it's freaking monday again already.
back to juice fast....

today i'm going to juice, run errands, and tonight i'm going to make homemade bread from this book i just bought where you make a recipe's worth, and you can keep the dough in the fridge for up to 2 weeks, cool right? of course i'm juice fasting, so i will make bread and take it to my family/work (it's so cheap) but i want to perfect my technique.
anyhow what's everyone else upto?

hows everyone's friday night.
here's hoping everyone has a great weekend. i, myself am juicing, and plan to start walking and maybe even doing some dancing this weekend to keep kick starting this weight loss.
i'm excited, lost 12 inches so far
keep on keepin on
xoxo,
Cass

Happy New Years Eve everyone. I have a few spare moments before running off to do errands and shop, but I wanted to recap, and just say, I hope that everyone has a great/safe New Years Eve, and Year in general. We all deserve to be happy, and don't stop until you get what you want, never settle....

This year has been a year of changes for me. I've moved, I've dealt with horrible job situations (thankfully always had a job but bad boss situations). I've upgraded men (thank God), and even met my love finally in November. Rocky starts lead to strong foundations, and although not perfect, I feel like he loves me and he's in it with me for real, moreso than Josh was. He's not going to run at the first sign of adversity.

I've come to grips with Josh, and the breakup, finally. He's been gone 3 years now, and you would think maybe it's about time for me to stop thinking about him everyday and wondering when he's going to come for me. He's not coming for me. It's hard to make that harsh reality in your mind real....but I realize now that if he and I were meant to be together we would, and we'd fight and push and do anything we could to make it happen - but it has to be 2 ways...not just one. I can't be the cheerleader of our relationship anymore - and now we talk now and again, not every weekend, and we are more like acquaintances than before. I miss him, but I miss the old us, not what we've become.

I've got my own place now, first time in my life, and although it is expensive, it's exciting as I see the possibilities, and I love the privacy. It's a tiny place, I call it the "Treehouse" and it's coming together just fine. Once I get some cash together, I'll pick up a new bed, and it'll really be sweet.

i went to Calgary for the first time and met Neil. Scary, akward, nervous, strange, I never thought I'd be doing that again, and I hope I never have to. The whole first week we were together we didn't really jive, but then it came together, like the amalgamation of fine metals. I'm planning a trip back to Calgary in the end of Jan, for a Wine festival as we have now taken up wine tasting as sort of our hobby. It's exciting, and this year is going to hold very interesting things for us if my gut feeling is right.

i'm pledging to juice fast, because so far it's been doing wonders for me, and I really want to slim down, I'm sick of kind of living in the fat version of my body. After seeing Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead - I ended up picking up a juicer, and going for it. I've lost quite a bit so far, but the holidays and such are a pain, so I will go full stop, tomorrow Jan 1, and continue on until I go see Neil 1/25 or 1/26. I'm excited. In the movie they went 60 days, 30 should be NP. Also, just so you guys know I do eat bananas, and some fruits sometimes, so it's not 100% juice only. I'm also gonna start walking in the am's before work, and also taking hula/bellydancing classes at night. I miss dance so much, I love it and it's my favorite type of exercise I will post on progress.

I'm thankful for everyone I have in my life, even those who often don't say what I want to hear, and those who challenge my thinking. I love my family, although they make me crazy 99% of the time. I adore my brothers little ones as if they were my own <3 I hope everyone has a great 2012, full of fun, memories, prosperity, happiness, and health. Lots of love, Cass

i hope everyone had a nice xmas, i know i did. i got apple tv, new wireless router (so needed!), and a new keurig to replace the one i had that died. i got a tool caddy (always cool), and some other bits and bobs.
the only thing i really wanted was to sleep next to my man and smell his hair.
weird right?
i dunno.
i didn't really feel much in the xmas mood, as i've been back from Calgary for about 2 weeks now and i really miss my man. i'm going to see him in about a month, so that's the good news, but sometimes the waiting kills me.
also i had a convo with the ex on xmas eve, and i didn't feel sentimental really at all, which makes me feel really really good.
anyhow....today i'm off. plan to hang with the man, play some drunken video games, and put together my electronics.
clean up and take out the trash around here, it's a mess.
looking at flights for Jan this am too, which is inspiring.
also, i'm back on my juice fast tomorrow i wanna find bellydancing classes here. oh yeah - my mom got ZUMBA that is so awesome for the Wii.

what did you guys get?

oh, p.s. me and my honey are exchanging gifts when i go in Jan

i miss him :/
Cass

im feeling the melancholy way i do before i have to leave, i know this feeling too well. fucking the idea of getting on a plane and going home tomorrow sucks, but we have had fun, we have drank wine, played games, enjoyed each other, stared into each others eyes, flirted, touched, cuddled, teased, and decided we want to see each other the end of Jan for some wine event in Calgary - and then again for Valentine's Day.
I'm excited about what the future holds bc i really love him, and i feel it every time he looks at me.
it's gorgeous here today snowed tons (like 4-5 inches), and it makes me smile. i have to be on a plane in 24 hours and i can't figure out how to spend the last few hours together. we bought gorgeous wines, so we're gonna drink them, but man, i just wanna lay in bed and stare into his eyes and smell his hair <3 i forgot completely about xmas, b/c i've been gone so long and off in my own little world, lols.
how is everyone doing?
<3
Cass

everything actually ended up working out fine <3 now I'm starting to get sad about leaving Monday- fucking back to work on tues meh.