on aug 30th im going to cancel my account im done with sg im not satisfied with how things are being handled anymore
how do you guys like my new hair?
oh and some guy tried to grab me right out side my apartment
...so that was fun but hes in jail now so at least theres that
so ive pretty sad lately...mostly because my best friend and literally only friend (she is the only person i talk or hang out with other than kevin) is lying to me and keeping secrets from me...i know that she is cuz i can tell when shes lying to me and i even tried to comfront her and what did she do? lied some more...and it makes me sad cuz ive been trying to talk to some old friends that ive lost touch with but they are being assholes and its really hard for me to make new friends and the only friend that i have is slipping away it seems...and what gets me the most is that i help her out so much and i do so much for her she stays at my house rent free she eats my food i let her borrow my car i give her rides i lend her money i let her babysit her firend's baby at my house...and a ton of other stuff and this whole thing makes me very sad....
wow its now 8:30 and im sitting at home getting drunk with my only friend (cuz im a loser) cuz we are so pathetic that we couldnt find a party or anything to get us out of the house.....lame i need more friends that live near me.....*sigh* this is very depressing 
ive decided that i can no longer go to the mall with isa on the weekends because i might fucking kill someone i swear people practically break their fucking necks just so they can stare at her as we are walking by,,,
i mean what the fuck dont people know thats rude...how is it that nobody has any manners anymore??? i mean i dont stare at people how wiegh 500 lbs... or who have imperfections when i go to the mall cuz its fucking rude...
and when they stare at her its not like a "ooh look at the baby" or an "aww poor baby" stare its a "omg what the fuck is that" stare
and what really gets me is when other moms use my duaghter as a teaching device.... the other day some woman brought her daughter over to me and isa and said"look honey that little girl has a strawberry on her face....blah blah blah" she came over to us if her daughter who was only 4 was walking by and asked me or the mom what that was then that would be fine...but nooooo the mom just felt it was necessary to come over...shes a fucking baby a human not a display for hemangiomas...i mean fuck
oh and another time this little girl who was like 4 followed me for 20 min around the store practically jumping in the stroller with isa and kept trying to touch it like 5 times and what was the mother of this little girl doing??? not a goddam thing she just watched her do it????!!!! what the fuck is that i mean i know the little girl doesnt know what she was doing was wrong but the mom should have i mean she kept trying to climb in the stoller i had to take the little girl off the stoller cuz the mom wouldnt do it and tell her no
and then today some woman came up to me and said "what happened" (with a disgusted look on her face) and i simply said "nothing why" and she looked at me weird and then asked if she fell and i said "no thats a tumor"
now does that look like something that happens when a baby falls down um no
GOD
i swear people practically break their fucking necks just so they can stare at her as we are walking by,,,i mean what the fuck dont people know thats rude...how is it that nobody has any manners anymore??? i mean i dont stare at people how wiegh 500 lbs... or who have imperfections when i go to the mall cuz its fucking rude...
and when they stare at her its not like a "ooh look at the baby" or an "aww poor baby" stare its a "omg what the fuck is that" stare
and what really gets me is when other moms use my duaghter as a teaching device.... the other day some woman brought her daughter over to me and isa and said"look honey that little girl has a strawberry on her face....blah blah blah" she came over to us if her daughter who was only 4 was walking by and asked me or the mom what that was then that would be fine...but nooooo the mom just felt it was necessary to come over...shes a fucking baby a human not a display for hemangiomas...i mean fuck
oh and another time this little girl who was like 4 followed me for 20 min around the store practically jumping in the stroller with isa and kept trying to touch it like 5 times and what was the mother of this little girl doing??? not a goddam thing she just watched her do it????!!!! what the fuck is that i mean i know the little girl doesnt know what she was doing was wrong but the mom should have i mean she kept trying to climb in the stoller i had to take the little girl off the stoller cuz the mom wouldnt do it and tell her no
and then today some woman came up to me and said "what happened" (with a disgusted look on her face) and i simply said "nothing why" and she looked at me weird and then asked if she fell and i said "no thats a tumor"
now does that look like something that happens when a baby falls down um no
GOD
god i havent posted anything in FOREVER .....well lets see i love my baby
and her big squishy butt 
her hemangioma got really bad for a while 
it was bleeding a lot and the whole thing was basically an open wound and she was in constant pain and i had to be a at home nurse and bandage it twice a day
but it got better after they did pulse laser dye surgery ive been busy getting ready to go to school and taking care of the baby...and i am poor as hell my in laws have to pay for my phone and internet im so poor and i dont have insurance which sucks but oh well its gotta get better soon right? 
and her big squishy butt her hemangioma got really bad for a while it was bleeding a lot and the whole thing was basically an open wound and she was in constant pain and i had to be a at home nurse and bandage it twice a day but it got better after they did pulse laser dye surgery ive been busy getting ready to go to school and taking care of the baby...and i am poor as hell my in laws have to pay for my phone and internet im so poor and i dont have insurance which sucks but oh well its gotta get better soon right? update:
isadora is off her breathing machine!! yay!! which is really good because most babies her size would still be on it and she is doing well she lost 3 oz. but thats normal she is still being fed through a tube but i have tried to breatfeed her but her latch isnt good enough nor can she suckle hard enough to get milk...so sometimes i just squirt a lil bit into her mouth and the doctor said that if it wasnt for the 5 lbs. rule that she'd prolly go home sooner than she will
story:
on wed. may 30th i went to the er cuz my bp was too high it was 197/120 so they transfered me to a better hospital after a few hours and i was having steady but mild contractions that ranged from 2 to 4 min apart and they told me that i would not go full term but that thery were gonna try to keep me pregnant for a few weeks so they gave me an iv of magnesium(the worst hing ever) and medicine to try to stop my contractions ...and omg i was so swollen on sat before i went to the er i weighed 144 on wed at the hospital i weighed157 and this is really gross but my labia was so swollen that i swear to god my lips were bigger than kevins penis.... it was very painful...that was wed. on thur . in the morning they sed that i would prolly deliver within the week then in the afternoon they sed within 72 hours...and the whole time i was in the hospital my baby was fine her stats was great ....at 5:30 the doctor said that he wanted to enduce me at midnight but that he wanted to do it sooner but couldnt because they gave me two shots of steroids to help her lungs but they needed 24 hrs to get the full effect..but they couldnt wait because my kidneys were failing...and he said that they might need to do an emergency c-section ....then at 5:40 he sed "no we need to get that baby out of you now youre too sick to go through labor" she would of made it through labor but i prolly wouldnt have ...i prolly would of barely made it to midnight cuz i was so sick...so 7:40 she was born....and i have major claustrophobia so after they took her out i started to panic because i didnt like that i couldnt feel my legs so they knocked me out and then i couldnt see my baby til sat. they wouldnt let me get out of bed... but thats it...not a pleasant experience and im having a delayed reaction to what happened cuz when all this was going on i didnt freak out or cry or anything cuz i knew i couldnt but when i think it about i get scared and start sobbing even though its over and done with
isadora is off her breathing machine!! yay!! which is really good because most babies her size would still be on it and she is doing well she lost 3 oz. but thats normal she is still being fed through a tube but i have tried to breatfeed her but her latch isnt good enough nor can she suckle hard enough to get milk...so sometimes i just squirt a lil bit into her mouth and the doctor said that if it wasnt for the 5 lbs. rule that she'd prolly go home sooner than she will
story:
on wed. may 30th i went to the er cuz my bp was too high it was 197/120 so they transfered me to a better hospital after a few hours and i was having steady but mild contractions that ranged from 2 to 4 min apart and they told me that i would not go full term but that thery were gonna try to keep me pregnant for a few weeks so they gave me an iv of magnesium(the worst hing ever) and medicine to try to stop my contractions ...and omg i was so swollen on sat before i went to the er i weighed 144 on wed at the hospital i weighed157 and this is really gross but my labia was so swollen that i swear to god my lips were bigger than kevins penis.... it was very painful...that was wed. on thur . in the morning they sed that i would prolly deliver within the week then in the afternoon they sed within 72 hours...and the whole time i was in the hospital my baby was fine her stats was great ....at 5:30 the doctor said that he wanted to enduce me at midnight but that he wanted to do it sooner but couldnt because they gave me two shots of steroids to help her lungs but they needed 24 hrs to get the full effect..but they couldnt wait because my kidneys were failing...and he said that they might need to do an emergency c-section ....then at 5:40 he sed "no we need to get that baby out of you now youre too sick to go through labor" she would of made it through labor but i prolly wouldnt have ...i prolly would of barely made it to midnight cuz i was so sick...so 7:40 she was born....and i have major claustrophobia so after they took her out i started to panic because i didnt like that i couldnt feel my legs so they knocked me out and then i couldnt see my baby til sat. they wouldnt let me get out of bed... but thats it...not a pleasant experience and im having a delayed reaction to what happened cuz when all this was going on i didnt freak out or cry or anything cuz i knew i couldnt but when i think it about i get scared and start sobbing even though its over and done with
she is 8 weeks early isadora leticia geipel...
but i am really freakin tired so only the short version for now...
emergency c-section becuase my blood pressure was too high
may 31st
7:40 pm
2 lbs. 13.8 oz
16 inches long
shes doing good for how premie she is
but i am really freakin tired so only the short version for now...
emergency c-section becuase my blood pressure was too high
may 31st
7:40 pm
2 lbs. 13.8 oz
16 inches long
shes doing good for how premie she is
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