Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians!!
I spent the weekend at my mum's, with my girlfriend, family, and some extended fam from the UK. Our dinner and desserts were plentiful, coffee never stopped flowing, and there were no awkward silences given that our visitors were well-off, posh folk from Birmingham.
I go back to work tomorrow at 7 am to unload the weekly stock truck, then I have some errands to run, and some secret birthday stuff to attend to, as Nina's birthday is on Wednesday!
We've been having a great time together, and I am starting to see the light at the end of the dark, broken relationship tunnel. I only hope things stay this good permanently.
Also, the gal now has Instagram, so I give you this gem of the two of us:
I spent the weekend at my mum's, with my girlfriend, family, and some extended fam from the UK. Our dinner and desserts were plentiful, coffee never stopped flowing, and there were no awkward silences given that our visitors were well-off, posh folk from Birmingham.
I go back to work tomorrow at 7 am to unload the weekly stock truck, then I have some errands to run, and some secret birthday stuff to attend to, as Nina's birthday is on Wednesday!
We've been having a great time together, and I am starting to see the light at the end of the dark, broken relationship tunnel. I only hope things stay this good permanently.
Also, the gal now has Instagram, so I give you this gem of the two of us:
Love life still sucks.
A girl yelled "Bieber" at me from a moving vehicle.
Here are some photoshoot pics:
A girl yelled "Bieber" at me from a moving vehicle.
Here are some photoshoot pics:
Gloomy day is gloomy.
Today I have the day off. Nina went to a doctor's appointment with her grandmum, then came home and got back into bed for a nap :3
I've been pretty lazy, although I did scoop the cat litter, paint and file my nails, and pick a couple of outfits for a photoshoot I'm doing tomorrow.
Apparently Nina's co-worker is coming home with her to get a haircut gone-wrong, fixed up.
How is your Tuesday going??
Today I have the day off. Nina went to a doctor's appointment with her grandmum, then came home and got back into bed for a nap :3
I've been pretty lazy, although I did scoop the cat litter, paint and file my nails, and pick a couple of outfits for a photoshoot I'm doing tomorrow.
Apparently Nina's co-worker is coming home with her to get a haircut gone-wrong, fixed up.
How is your Tuesday going??
Hey SG Land!
How are your respective weekends going? Mine is not bad I suppose.
Today I went to the thrift store and bought myself a pair of high top Cons, black lights on a string to put on the heaboard (they didn't work though), and a figurine that looks more or less like this (with nicer painting and better posing)
I have tomorrow off, but with no real plans other than getting Nina to cut my hair.
And right now I am watching ANTM online. I am pretty emotionally strained.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and she referred me to the on staff counselor. He is going away for a few weeks, so unfortunately I can't see him until the 6th....of November ;_; They did suggest to me that I call every few days to find out if he has any cancellations though. If not, I have 3 scheduled appointments at 45 minutes each. According to -my- doctor, I have general anxiety (which I knew) and "situational depression" (which I don't necessarily agree with, but whatever). She wanted to put me on drugs, but I said no, at least until the counselor can diagnose me after talking about my issues. If he thinks I need to be on any kind of SSRI then I will consider, but they're pretty tricky things to get used to and to get off of.
Going to do a photoshoot this week with a local photog at a barber shop. He's going for a pin-up look, which is harder to do with my current hair, but the right clothes and make-up usually help.
Anyways....time for chain smoking and a lonely bed...
How are your respective weekends going? Mine is not bad I suppose.
Today I went to the thrift store and bought myself a pair of high top Cons, black lights on a string to put on the heaboard (they didn't work though), and a figurine that looks more or less like this (with nicer painting and better posing)
I have tomorrow off, but with no real plans other than getting Nina to cut my hair.
And right now I am watching ANTM online. I am pretty emotionally strained.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and she referred me to the on staff counselor. He is going away for a few weeks, so unfortunately I can't see him until the 6th....of November ;_; They did suggest to me that I call every few days to find out if he has any cancellations though. If not, I have 3 scheduled appointments at 45 minutes each. According to -my- doctor, I have general anxiety (which I knew) and "situational depression" (which I don't necessarily agree with, but whatever). She wanted to put me on drugs, but I said no, at least until the counselor can diagnose me after talking about my issues. If he thinks I need to be on any kind of SSRI then I will consider, but they're pretty tricky things to get used to and to get off of.
Going to do a photoshoot this week with a local photog at a barber shop. He's going for a pin-up look, which is harder to do with my current hair, but the right clothes and make-up usually help.
Anyways....time for chain smoking and a lonely bed...
Things at home are still rocky at best...
I have 2 days off work (which I don't want or need). Today I went around Kingston with my lesbro, who needed a new computer, among other things. I ended up buying 3 Sailor Moon graphic novels from Chapters and almost bought a $219 Nikon camera which was beautiful, but then my credit card was saying "declined" so I did not get it
Tomorrow I am going to job hunt for some other part-time or seasonal work...my hours are awful and the cost of living is not decreasing..
Here are 2 more pics from my shoot at Bad Bettie's (ignore my awful mouth tension):
Have a good weekend SG!
I have 2 days off work (which I don't want or need). Today I went around Kingston with my lesbro, who needed a new computer, among other things. I ended up buying 3 Sailor Moon graphic novels from Chapters and almost bought a $219 Nikon camera which was beautiful, but then my credit card was saying "declined" so I did not get it
Tomorrow I am going to job hunt for some other part-time or seasonal work...my hours are awful and the cost of living is not decreasing..
Here are 2 more pics from my shoot at Bad Bettie's (ignore my awful mouth tension):
Have a good weekend SG!
It would be nice to post one, not mopey blog....just one..
Life is slowing way down. My hours at work have been cut almost in half, it's getting harder and harder to pay rent and my bills, and now I am looking into getting a second job.
My love life (what there is left of it) is pretty stagnant. We are trying to work things out, but she needs more space and I'm scared every day that she is going to just give up.
I did get a family doctor the other day, and on the 27th I am going to see her about getting into counselling. My main concern is that she made up a list of SSRIs, SNRIs, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers for me to look into. I don't want to be pumped full of drugs (that I can't afford anyways). I want to talk to someone and find out how to cope with my anxiety and anger issues.
Other than that, here is a photo taken of me with a Too Fast dress and clutch, taken for Bad Bettie's Boutique's Online Lookbook. I am excited to see the rest of them..
(personally I think my arms look a wee bit chubby)
Life is slowing way down. My hours at work have been cut almost in half, it's getting harder and harder to pay rent and my bills, and now I am looking into getting a second job.
My love life (what there is left of it) is pretty stagnant. We are trying to work things out, but she needs more space and I'm scared every day that she is going to just give up.
I did get a family doctor the other day, and on the 27th I am going to see her about getting into counselling. My main concern is that she made up a list of SSRIs, SNRIs, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers for me to look into. I don't want to be pumped full of drugs (that I can't afford anyways). I want to talk to someone and find out how to cope with my anxiety and anger issues.
Other than that, here is a photo taken of me with a Too Fast dress and clutch, taken for Bad Bettie's Boutique's Online Lookbook. I am excited to see the rest of them..
(personally I think my arms look a wee bit chubby)
Suddenly awesome news!!
Though this week at work has been stingy (and I left 4 hours today due to stress), I have some really cool opportunities coming up.
On Saturday I have a shoot at Bad Bettie's Boutique, modeling their clothing and hopefully some awesome accessories
Then on Sunday I have an on-camera audition for the casting agency I mentioned in my last blog. I really hate being on camera, but they are looking for models, voice talent, and music video extras, so it's okay that acting is not my strong suit.
I feel really good about these new developments. I am, of course, still dealing with this whole break-up thing. It's getting easier to not break down and cry every day, but I'm still very scared of what will become of us...
Anyways, off to bed. I think I shall pay my rent tomorrow (a week late) and take a walk down by the waterfront with my best friend and nephew Pekoe (who is a dog...as are all of my nephews).
Though this week at work has been stingy (and I left 4 hours today due to stress), I have some really cool opportunities coming up.
On Saturday I have a shoot at Bad Bettie's Boutique, modeling their clothing and hopefully some awesome accessories
Then on Sunday I have an on-camera audition for the casting agency I mentioned in my last blog. I really hate being on camera, but they are looking for models, voice talent, and music video extras, so it's okay that acting is not my strong suit.I feel really good about these new developments. I am, of course, still dealing with this whole break-up thing. It's getting easier to not break down and cry every day, but I'm still very scared of what will become of us...
Anyways, off to bed. I think I shall pay my rent tomorrow (a week late) and take a walk down by the waterfront with my best friend and nephew Pekoe (who is a dog...as are all of my nephews).
Welp. Just applied to an on-screen casting call for an agency who uses models for TV commercials, print ads, and music videos. As well as a promotional model position that I’m pretty sure involves flirting with men and dressing trampy (que sera). Fingers crossed for either.
In other news, living at home with the ex day 1 has been a stressful mindfuck. So I've taken it upon myself to ingest mood stabilizing prescription drugs (which helped). Also, I baked a cake
What is this from?
And so, I leave you with this:
In other news, living at home with the ex day 1 has been a stressful mindfuck. So I've taken it upon myself to ingest mood stabilizing prescription drugs (which helped). Also, I baked a cake
What is this from?
And so, I leave you with this:
Going home in 2 days...what have I learned?
Actions have consequences, nothing in life is easy, and, if you love someone, always treat them like fucking gold (so long as they treat you the same).
I'm scared because I don't know what it's going to be like; going back to my apartment with she and I sleeping in different rooms. But she loves me very much, as I do her, and we both believe that it can work, so long as we both put in the effort to fix things.
I am hopefully going to be set up with a family doctor on Wednesday, who can do blood work and refer me to a counselor. Gotta get the ball rolling. Then it's back to work on Thursday (which is probably going to suck).
In other news (and I'm quite surprised I have any): I have a photo shoot on the 18th. It'll be black and white bodyscapes. Getting naked for the camera again since I've lost 10lbs should help improve my self esteem. It's a bit of a ways away, but pics will surely be posted here when I get 'em
Nighty night SG.
Actions have consequences, nothing in life is easy, and, if you love someone, always treat them like fucking gold (so long as they treat you the same).
I'm scared because I don't know what it's going to be like; going back to my apartment with she and I sleeping in different rooms. But she loves me very much, as I do her, and we both believe that it can work, so long as we both put in the effort to fix things.
I am hopefully going to be set up with a family doctor on Wednesday, who can do blood work and refer me to a counselor. Gotta get the ball rolling. Then it's back to work on Thursday (which is probably going to suck).
In other news (and I'm quite surprised I have any): I have a photo shoot on the 18th. It'll be black and white bodyscapes. Getting naked for the camera again since I've lost 10lbs should help improve my self esteem. It's a bit of a ways away, but pics will surely be posted here when I get 'em
Nighty night SG.
Sad blog is sad.
After many long months of fighting on and off, my girlfriend has dumped me. She wanted me to immediately leave my apartment (which we share with her sister as well), and having no other option, I have come to my mum's house in Barrie. It just wasn't healthy anymore, but it isn't what either of us wants, and the main idea is for me to seek professional help, give her some alone time, and maybe try to reconnect eventually.
The frustrating thing is, that to give her the space she desires, I had to quit my job, and come to a place where cheap or free counselling is not available. Had I been able to stay, I would have been referred to a free psychotherapist in K Town, and could have kept my job, allowing me to afford to live. As it stands, I am jobless, living in my mum's house without my cat or my furniture or anything, and without the ability to seek help. Not to mention, if we decided to get back together, she would have to support me financially until I could find another job, and that would be an awful way to start over.
And so, since my apartment is still mine (name's on the lease), I am trying my best to convince her to have me move back in on the terms that we still are not dating, and I am focusing on getting help and working (if I can get my old job back in time). I know living with your ex is hard, and it would be bad to rush back into things, but at the same time I don't feel I should have to impose on my mum, be broke, and stay out of a residence that I am legally entitled to live in.
Anyways, that's what is new in my life..hope everyone else is having a better week.
After many long months of fighting on and off, my girlfriend has dumped me. She wanted me to immediately leave my apartment (which we share with her sister as well), and having no other option, I have come to my mum's house in Barrie. It just wasn't healthy anymore, but it isn't what either of us wants, and the main idea is for me to seek professional help, give her some alone time, and maybe try to reconnect eventually.
The frustrating thing is, that to give her the space she desires, I had to quit my job, and come to a place where cheap or free counselling is not available. Had I been able to stay, I would have been referred to a free psychotherapist in K Town, and could have kept my job, allowing me to afford to live. As it stands, I am jobless, living in my mum's house without my cat or my furniture or anything, and without the ability to seek help. Not to mention, if we decided to get back together, she would have to support me financially until I could find another job, and that would be an awful way to start over.
And so, since my apartment is still mine (name's on the lease), I am trying my best to convince her to have me move back in on the terms that we still are not dating, and I am focusing on getting help and working (if I can get my old job back in time). I know living with your ex is hard, and it would be bad to rush back into things, but at the same time I don't feel I should have to impose on my mum, be broke, and stay out of a residence that I am legally entitled to live in.
Anyways, that's what is new in my life..hope everyone else is having a better week.
