into: exploring the tiny little dot trent reznor sung about. day dreaming. (ice hockey--it's close to flying), the dream where i fly to a beach in florida in a small plane that's like a gocart with wings. good films. good conversation. a good book. hot baths on cold days. long runs and walks.
not into: politicians the rampant greed of all scoieties at this moment in time, gangstas and that whole tawdry used up culture, yuppies, pretension. poseurs, the easy way out
makes me happy: my puppy dog, swimming with my puppy, jean-paul gaultier cologne mmm, playing hockey writing, a good fiml, being in good company, random acts of kindness and sincerity
makes me sad: insincerity, hope, that i've never felt so alone more than now though i know it's some crazy journey thing for some sort of spiritual enrichment that i'm going through or it'll kill me sort of thing, when people make the easy cliched judgements about people--especially when it's based on appearance, that women and men at this point in time are confused by their identies and cultural functions and boundaries and often feel threatened by one another and end up acting out in ways that are contrary to what they are incapable at the moment of expressing
5 things i can't live without: things eh...shelter, food, clothing in the strictest functional sense(keep heat in damp out sort of thing bugs and what not), water, food
vices: arguing, playing devil's advocate, certain foods, cigs,
thoughts on sg: It's okay
i spend most of my free time: thinking how'd be nice if I could just think the words onto the computer or page and then edit them. get it crisp and not have to go back and say how the fuck did I miss that image when it's like this and reading and reading, sometimes play some ice hock
occupation: dreamer(well dreams and all but really I have a strange sort of job just so that these words could be pure while I learned to pound them hard into the pavement the way it did when I was scoring7 foot airs off a launch ramp and the first few times the land
current crush: she's as soft as my pillow before he eyes become heavy with sleep and as gentle as fan caressing you on a hot night she just might not be real but she's haunted my dreams since i was a child and sometimes i almost felt her in the arms of a dozen lovers wh
stats: writes with lipstick on bathroom mirrors in men's room across the country nasty little things about ...shit i said too much already. pay no attention to what i just said it's all lies
body mods: 220lbs on the bench press
175 on the trimachine
92 push ups in under two minutes
87 sit ups in same said time
runs 2miles in twelve minutes or less
needle marks, piercings no jewelery, scars
heroes: are warning labels for life
gets me hot: a cattle prodder i suppose. dancing. hearing the minimal third orgasm. i can't go until you do.
favorite position: i like the multiflavoured popsicles and the karma sutra toys tongues whips chains outfits acting for real slapping holding hands and intense moments of gentle sincerity
fantasy: to find something like true love--someone who believed in me as much as i believed in them and they believed inthemself and me myself wow and that makes four when i only meant one guy(me) and one woman
sign: the seven headed dragon will smash the whitehouse while the
most humbling moment: when someone pays me a compliment. or when this guy's mother in iraq was kissing my boots begging for her son's life i had no intention of taking. if that don't make you feel humble and like a pile of shit seeing someone drop their dignity and swallow their hatred for a prayer to be ansered then forsure you're humbled. ties being blown up, having blood trickling across my numb face and just becoming conscious and wondering if i were dead and then minutes later hearing my friend screaming in pain for his mother in the middle of the night in mosul, iraq
i lost my virginity: to the wrong person. and i've regretted it ever since. i just listened to too many stories of friends and thought man i got to try that. i wish it would have been more special with someone more special with candles like the next girl. she was special i was young and confused and wore a dress and had a mohawk and had a fan club and was supposed to bring her soup and school was coming to an end and summer and seperation were looming and i got afraid and fucked someone else that night
CIGARETTES: Nope
ALCOHOL: Occasionally
MY DRUG USE: Drug Free
MY KINK FACTOR: Electrocution, clown suits, furries, oh my!
MY POLITICS: SMASH THE STATE!!!
POT: Nope
MY STATUS: not telling
MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME: When I go out, ANYTHING can happen.
I WANT: Friendship
MY PIGEONHOLES: Bookworm, Fuck you, I defy categories