not much going on today. the boyfriend is at work trying to catch up on some stuff, which leaves me home alone with the cats. again. it's not horrible, but it's boring as hell.

i'm getting my squirrel tattoo tomorrow i've gotten all my tattoos and piercings done at Body Ritual in Milwaukee, but because of the weather and because i don't feel like driving out to Milwaukee, i've made an appointment at a place here in Madison, Blue Lotus. i went there once a couple years ago when i was visiting the boyfriend and had a problem with one of my piercings. they came highly recommended and the place is clean and the people are nice and talented. so i'm excited, and a little nervous.

my tattoo artist is drawing up the tat for me, she's going to take the pic and tweak it, make it original. i decided to go with a different squirrel 'base' than the one i put up in my last blog.

i like this lil guy better:



i think he's gonna be holding a flower in his paw or something. i can't wait to see what she's come up with

i'll post pictures, although it may not be until monday, what with the superbowl and the bf's parents coming over to watch with us. go pack go! etc.....

i had a difficult weekend (probably as expected). but i'm feeling much better now.

i heard a quote this weekend that, although i'm agnostic, made me think and actually gave me some hope:
God doesn't call the prepared, He prepares the called. although this doesn't do anything for me in a religious way, i still found it comforting. i think it is absolutely a wonderful way of looking at things. instead of being mad that i'm going through all this difficult stuff, i should realize that it is preparing me for the rest of my life. next time i'm in a difficult situation, i will feel much stronger and know that i can get through it because i've gotten through everything else that has been thrown at me


in other news, i'm fucking horny because of my back, any kind of sex is extremely painful. hopefully i'll start feeling better soon and can get back to my regularly scheduled tension-easing. i think next time i may go whole hog and ask the boyfriend to tie me up.

i love kinbaku, it's so interesting and beautiful and, most importantly, it feels delightful

so i've been wanting to get a new tat for a while now (okay, let's not kid ourselves, i've wanted one since 5 minutes after i got the last one.... )i have a couple ideas in the works and i would appreciate any and all advice or comments

1. Amarena is drawing me a cute cartoonish kitty that will eventually go on one of my shoulder blades. i'm thinking the left one, so it's above my heart, but that really depends on where i get the one i'll get to next. anyway, because my family is so conservative (especially my extended family) and because if i ever get married i want to be able to wear a dress without that showing on my back, that's going to wait until either i get married or until i'm reasonably certain i'm never going to get married.

2. i love lilies. they hold a special place in my heart, as my grandmother was especially fond of them. calla lilies are my favorite kind, and i would love to get a tat that has either 3 (i have 3 younger brothers) or 4 (symbolizing me and my brothers). for right now, i'm thinking that i want to get this one on my ribs on my left side, under my heart. i seem to be all about the symbolism what it comes to tattoos...... anywho, i found this great picture that i would like to adapt into a tattoo, either keeping it as is or adding another flower:

i want to wait a bit on that one though, because i don't want it to get all screwed up if i lose weight (which, god willing, i will do as soon as my back heals.)

3. the tat i'm thinking about getting soon (and this is the one i'd particularly like advice on) is a miniaturized version of this pic: although obviously just the squirrel and not the background. i'm thinking the inside of my right ankle would be a good place for it. the choice isn't as random as you may think- my friends in high-school call me 'squirrelly' or 'squirrel' although if i ever knew why, i've forgotten. but i like the picture, and it has meaning to me, which are my two criteria for tattoos.

i'd love any opinions i could get on any of these ideas

in other other news, i was going through the picture files on my computer to see if any could be deleted, and i found some cute ones that i thought might be fun to share. these are all from when i was in college (i think they range from junior to senior year). please enjoy

i used to be so in love with this halter...now my boobs are too big for me to wear it, as it's backless



one of my favorite shirts, even though i'm not a practicing catholic....i dunno that a practicing catholic would wear a shirt like this though...



hanging out in the dorm or the apartment



on the bus in milwaukee, on the way to Gallery Night



vacay with friends in DC



very old picture of me and the bf (before we started going out, actually)- i love that top, i got it in ireland. my natural hair color, too



just playing around with the camera



junior year the roomies and i got a pumpkin for the apartment. we named him 'Snags' because of his snaggletooth



more carving



screwing around



me being happy



and a semi-special treat for all you perverts out there

cheers guys!

my cousin and his wife (who are both my age) just had their first baby. little Mia was born on sunday evening in milwaukee, wi, shortly after the packers kicked bear ass

she's a gorgeous, perfect little baby girl. both mom and baby are totally healthy.

it's nice to have something to be happy about, something nice to share

my SG screenname, as should be obvious, is a tribute to an actor and a character that i adore, Det. Lennie Briscoe, played by Jerry Orbach.

until recently, my knowledge of Mr. Orbach was limited to his involvement with the Law & Order series. however, it has been brought to my attention (and i'm grateful for it) that Jerry Orbach was a man of many talents. Law & Order was the first 'grown-up show' that i ever watched and actually liked. my mother is an attorney and has always loved the series. i watched it religiously from the time i was old enough to stay up for it. i will readily admit that i have my favorites on the show, Lennie Briscoe and Jack McCoy being the most prominent. but really, who could say no to these faces?







Jerry Orbach passed away (and broke my heart) a little over 6 years ago. he had fought against prostate cancer for 10 years (almost the entire time he was on Law & Order )

and so, here is a list of things i never new about Jerry Orbach and that make me love him even more:

1. he spent some of his childhood and went to high school in Waukegan, IL, a mere hour from where i grew up.

2. he spent time working as a chauffeur for Mae West

3. he was an animal rights activist and an organ donor (i have great respect for people who are either of those things)

4. the New York Landmark Conservancy declared him a " Living Landmark"

5. while watching my new 'diamond edition' copy of Beauty and the Beast, the boyfriend brought to my attention the familiarity of the voice of Lumiere . further searching led to the revelation that Jerry Orbach provided the voice for Lumiere, and did his own singing in the movie as well:



6. he's in Dirty Dancing (not one of my favorite movies, so i really didn't know this until recently **cowers in a corner** please don't beat me.... )


7. he spent an awful lot of time on Broadway and was nominated for several Tony awards (i believe he only won one).

8. he played Billy Flynn in my second-favorite musical ever (first place always goes to Les Mis), Chicago.






not only that, but he was the first person to perform "Razzle Dazzle" in the original Broadway show. although i couldn't find a video of that performance, i found this very old, not so great quality clip of "All I Care About", which i found to be quite entertaining.



9. finally (and i honestly don't know how this could possibly have not come to my attention before now), Jerry Orbach participated in at least 3 Law & Order video games. which i want. oh so much. i love the titles, too. enjoy:



it's about tennis...geddit? 'justice is served'? ....i like puns...



and finally...



i want these things. hard.

oh, and finally, i found this just delightful:



bises, dears

hey all, i just added a new album of pics. they aren't great, but as a first attempt i don't think they're too terrible. the boyfriend took them (he pretended that he was doing me a huge favor, but certain anatomical changes led me to believe he enjoyed the process too )


in other news, i chipped a vertebrae in my lower back yesterday. i slipped (i am seriously the most clumsy person on the face of the earth) and somehow ended up with a compression fracture that cracked one of my bones a teensy bit. the doctors said it wasn't dangerous at all, just painful, which i guess is good. still though, i'm hurty


the boyfriend is being super sweet though, he's bringing me my favorite soup and salad from Panera for lunch

i'm finally signed up for a volunteer orientation at the Dane County Humane Society i've been waiting to go to one for a couple months, but they only have them once or twice a month and i've always had other plans. but i'm on the list for Jan. 22nd and i'm super excited! the boyfriend and i adopted all our kitties from DCHS and i can't wait to give back (and to have a good reason to get out of the house a couple days a week!) my only concern is that i'll fall in love with all the critters and want to bring them home.


in other news, i'm starting to get an itch for a new piercing. problem is i have no idea what i would pierce. my family has gotten used to the idea of the nose stud (or at least my mom doesn't say anything about it anymore....and i suspect that my brothers actually like it), and i would love to get an eyebrow or lip ring, but i don't know if that's pushing it too far, especially when i'm trying to find a job.

hmmm...i can't think of a good segue for this next bit....

i got some super awesome makeup and bath stuff for christmas. i love playing with makeup and can spend a ridiculous amount of time in Sephora just trying things out. these things are, imho, some of the very best out there. (i'm going into shill mode now...you've been warned )




Benefit's Creaseless Cream Shadow/Liner is the best eyeshadow i've used in a really long time. the colors are gorgeous, you can create a variety of effects with just a few different types of brushes (but it also goes on perfectly with a finger), and it actually stays put. it's a bit expensive, but the pot lasts forever.



i've been in love with Benefit's BADgal mascara for a while, but this plum color makes it 10 times better. it's not crazy purple when you put it on, but something about the color makes your eye color look brighter. it also almost never clumps.

i've also, for the past couple years, been obsessed with Lush, an awesome store that sells fresh bath and body products that are often vegan. if you're a bath person, you can't go wrong with their bath bombs. they turn the water gorgeous colors and smell amazing. i've loved everything i've ever tried from Lush, but my favorites are the massage bars, Dream Cream, and their face toners (i have sensitive skin that toners usually dry out, but these don't have alcohol in them, so they work like a dream without drying my skin out).


ooookay, i think i'm done with the product endorsements now hope i didn't bore anyone to death

take care loves! bises

it has been brought to my attention that i haven't posted any pics of my tattoos. so i decided to do so.

the pic of my wrist didn't come out right, but i managed to get a decent one of my tramp stamp.

the word below the triquetra is Gaelic for 'survivor'



**edit** awwww, its teeny there's a bigger picture in my 'pics' section.....

i think i've finally turned a corner, and i have all y'all to thank. your kindness over the past few weeks has helped me realize that i deserve better from myself.

i never tell people my new years resolutions. i have a hard time keeping them and then feel like a failure when everyone i've told can see that i haven't accomplished my goals. however, i think it's about time to hold myself to a little accountability. so this year im sharing, albeit a bit late .....


~ i will not allow a sad little nothing of a man to touch my life any further. i will stop blaming myself for things that were not my fault.

~ i will remember that i am strong as hell and that i can do anything i put my mind to.

~ i will take better care of myself, mentally and physically.

~i will shoot and post a set on SG

~ i will never forget how truly blessed i am, especially to have so many wonderful people who love me as i am.


i am going to kick 2011's ass