Yet another year and I'm NOT one of the sexiest men alive, Damn damn damn,

You'll do fine. We in the virtual universe will be looking in on you,

A big part of being the "Black Sheep" in a family is reveling in not caring what they think. Your unwillingness to conform to their "norms" makes them uneasy and nervous. It is a disturbance in their force that calls into question their perceptions of the way life is supposed to be. Your aunt perfectly illustrates this point in her perceptions of her 42 year old guy friend. She simply can not accept that he might be perfectly happy in his life being single, because it goes against the norms that have formed the boundaries and limits of how she thinks the world is supposed to work. As for your uncle, he obviously sees your lifestyle as a threat to his perceptions of order, so he criticizes you as a manifestation of the frustration he feels over your unwillingness to conform to the status quo. At some level, he most probably feels legitimate concern for you, but the frustration he feels sometimes just slips out in form on an insensitive remark. Honestly, I seriously doubt he consciously or maliciously intended to humiliate you, but there can be little doubt that he was voicing his disapproval of your lifestyle.

At some level, you obviously care what your family thinks and you do attempt to maintain good relations within the limits of maintaining your own life and personal values set. Here is the reality, your family is not going to change. There is not going to be some Earth shattering moment when they achieve some new level of consciousness, which allows them to see and understand the world from your perspective. I know, because I am and have always been the Black Sheep of my family also!! It does not bother me, because I have absolutely no desire to live my life by their standards!! In fact, that would be a life of absolute misery to me!! This does not mean that I don't love my family, or that they don't love me. As the prodigal son, I actually probably get more attention from my family, because they feel some misguided desire to help me find my way back to what they see as the proper way to live your life.

So, when you attend these family gatherings you grit your teeth and go along to get along, because all you really want is peace and harmony. That is admiral, but there are limits to what anyone would be reasonably expected to endure. Regardless of how it might have upset your Mother, you are under no obligation to be subjected to abuse. I understand it might create conflict, but you have every right to stand your ground. Trust me on this, it will only take a few instances on getting your back up and striking back to end the abuse. My family acts like they are walking on egg shells around me, because they understand that I simply will not tolerate their bullshit. I am the first person to tell them to mind their own business and stay out of mine!! How I live my life is none of their business or concern and their input is not required or desired. Just let that fact be known in a firm but forceful way, and I think you'll see a big change in the way your are treated by your family. Granted, it will cause a little discomfort the first time you do it, but if you stick to your guns and stand your ground, they will accept it and back off. The alternative, is to do nothing and to continue to get your feelings hurt, which doesn't seem like much of an alternative to me.

As for your B/F's high school buddy that always acts like a DICK, that is nothing more than a manifestation of his insecurities. The best way to handle those types of people is the same way to handle the neighborhood bully, straight on!! Just call him out and ask him why he always has to act like a DICK? It would probably not be the best to do it in a public setting, but you could just call him off to the side and ask him straight up!! Explain that you're not trying to be mean, but that being a DICK is not the best way to win friends and influence people!! I've actually had this conversations with a few guys that needed it and you would be amazed at the results. At first, they get pissed off, but when they realize that you're serious, it's been my experience that they'll actually start to talk to you about it and maybe even share some amazing insights into their lives. After that, they will be as loyal to you as a hound dog, because bullies typically respect those they can not bully. In your favor is the simple fact that guys care a lot more about what women think about them, than what other guys think, so coming from you in a direct manner it will have a significant impact. What I'm sure you'll find with this guys is a scared little boy full of false bravado who throws up the front of being rude, brash, and insensitive as a defense mechanism to hide his insecurities. Once pierced, that front will deflate like a punctured balloon.

Bottom line Briscoe, God takes care of those who take care of themselves!! No one in this World is truly going to look out for you, but you!! It's a choice you make, stand your ground or be everyone's punching bag. Respect is never given, it can only be earned!! People typically perform to your level of expectation, expect a lot, get a lot!! No compromise, no retreat, no surrender, it's tho only way to live a happy and successful life.

Take Care,
Woody

update: boyfriend looked in the fridge to find that the turkey's bag had a tiny hole in it and had leaked all over the fridge. lost over an hour cleaning and disinfecting everything, and have to go back to the store to get more of what was contaminated.

damn, but i hate cooking with poultry.

sigh...

just remember it´s over and that you are doing just fine with your life choices so far. still there´s lots to look forward to.

Screw the family. Your happy, stay happy, be happy.

That was simply obnoxious. I'm sure your uncle was just kidding around as he saw it, but that was awful! Talk about not respecting your relationship.

How are you honey?