So...
I started day shift last week..and this is my Friday..so i have the next three days off..let me break it down this way..the sunlight is great..the shift sucks...lol..I hate traffic, I hate burlgaries, and 0430 comes fucking quick!! But oh well, no big deal...Problem is, the other officers are either old, or lazy...so that means that I do all the work, because I am neither...but fuck it...only for a few months....
Ok, but check this out..I worked Gasparilla on Saturday..it was awesome..I fucking love my horse...he is the shit...the parade itself was fairly uneventful...saw some titties..but they weren't that impressive..We spent the majority of the parade, staring at the back of the last float keeping the crowd away...but after that, we got to work ybor...and that's always..ALWAYS good times...love it man..
So here I sit...tired as hell..drinking a beer..just gave the little one a bath..and put her down..I fucking love that kid..she is my angel...other than that...life is good..but I should study more....
PTFO bitches!!!
Fair winds....
I started day shift last week..and this is my Friday..so i have the next three days off..let me break it down this way..the sunlight is great..the shift sucks...lol..I hate traffic, I hate burlgaries, and 0430 comes fucking quick!! But oh well, no big deal...Problem is, the other officers are either old, or lazy...so that means that I do all the work, because I am neither...but fuck it...only for a few months....
Ok, but check this out..I worked Gasparilla on Saturday..it was awesome..I fucking love my horse...he is the shit...the parade itself was fairly uneventful...saw some titties..but they weren't that impressive..We spent the majority of the parade, staring at the back of the last float keeping the crowd away...but after that, we got to work ybor...and that's always..ALWAYS good times...love it man..
So here I sit...tired as hell..drinking a beer..just gave the little one a bath..and put her down..I fucking love that kid..she is my angel...other than that...life is good..but I should study more....
PTFO bitches!!!
Fair winds....
Ok,
So holy fuck...I'm going into the mountains to meditate..
"When seeking answers, one must quiet the soul in order to hear them." a wise man once said that.
Love you all!!
So holy fuck...I'm going into the mountains to meditate..
"When seeking answers, one must quiet the soul in order to hear them." a wise man once said that.
Love you all!!
So here is the latest assesment of my personality and why my marriage is going to shit...
Apparently I have a Napoleon complex..lol..I am short and am trying to prove to the world that I am bigger then I am. Those exact words were used during my last session. So my drive to improve myself to always learn new things is crossing over into my personal life. Which makes sense, because how you carry yourself in one aspect of life, carries over into all the others. So in essence, the way I have lived my entire adult life is no good. At least not for relationships it's not. At work, I am a complete success. I am one of the best officers in my department. I am a leader, a trainer, an expert and am looked up to. But at home, I am the cause of all the problems. Kind of ironic, I've said this before and I'll say it again..I walk the Earth solving the worlds problems and doing good deeds throughout the land and I can't do the same at home. Strange thing..life..
I guess the problems are in the way I look at my goals. My goal in life has been to be the President. What better position then the ruler of the free world?
Two of my favorite and most inspirational stories from History are as follows..
When Alexander the Great was a boy, 10 years old, he and his father stood at the end of a pasture and saw the most powerful, beautiful horse in all the land! One man after another tried to tame and ride the horse but none were successful. Alexander turned to his father and made a bet. I will tame and ride the horse. If I do, you will buy it for me. If I can't, I will buy it myself and let it run free. So Alexander watched the horse for a few moments and realized the horse was afraid of his own shadow. Everyone that tried to tame it approached the horse from behind and when the horse turned to see what was coming from behind it would see its shadow and run. So Alexander approached the horse from the front with the sun at his back. He pet the horse, and tamed it and rode if back to where his father was standing. His father looked at him and said, "we are going to have to find you a new kingdom, Macedonia is not big enough for you." And it was with this horse that he lead his calvary and won many battles and eventually conquered the world.
I love that story.... The next one is about Julius Ceasar.
When Ceasar first took his army north to fight the Gauls he had to cross a river seperating Rome from Gaul. The river was said to be impassable and the Gauls knew it and stood across the river and taunted Ceasar. Ceasar was a great engineer and his army were the best at construction. So Ceasar put his skills to work and started to build a bridge to cross this river. The Gauls stood on the other side and watched as Ceasar started to cross the river and his bridge did not wash away. By the time the bridge was built, the Gauls had run into the hills. Ceasar marched his entire army across the bridge and made camp on the other side, inside Gaul. The next day, Ceasar marched his army back across the bridge and took the bridge with him. So why did Ceasar cross this river? Not to conquer Gaul, but show the Gauls what Julius Ceasar could do.
So the moral of the story is thus..I have lived my life ever since I was 17 to constantly improve myself. I constantly expand my mind, my body, and to never let any precious opportunity pass. Because once they pass they may never present themselves again. And this carries over into people that I meet. Apparently what I am looking for is my next river to cross..my next horse to tame, and I will never be satisfied.
So I understand this, and maybe it's true. But the problem is, this is who I am..this has made me what I am. And I'm not sure if I want to change. If I don't change..my marriage will go to shit..it pretty much already has.. My counselor says I need to learn to back it down a bit..but how? I don't know..she says that I have reached my pinnacle..and there is nothing left to conquer..She tells me, I've won...how so? I don't know..I don't get it.. The Persians are still coming..lol...
How do you keep yourself from always looking towards the horizon and why is it a bad thing? This is more than how I look at my personal life this is how I look at life in general. I'm learning in class that one key to happiness is to be mindful of the present..and concentrate on what you are doing, and where you are. Yoda said this, "Always to the future he looked..Never his mind on where he was..what he was doing." But what if where you are and what you are doing leaves you feeling blank..and lonley? Do u still sacrifice everything and stay in the present? Or do you look forward and marvel at the possibilities? And what exactly am I looking for? Good question...not an easy one to answer.
So enough fucking philosophy and history. On a good note..the weather is getting great again..and that means..the bike will come out of the garage..not that it ever stopped me before..but now it's beautiful...and I'm looking forward to the weekends..
Fair winds and following seas you freaks..I hope that life is wonderful..it's too short for anything else!
Apparently I have a Napoleon complex..lol..I am short and am trying to prove to the world that I am bigger then I am. Those exact words were used during my last session. So my drive to improve myself to always learn new things is crossing over into my personal life. Which makes sense, because how you carry yourself in one aspect of life, carries over into all the others. So in essence, the way I have lived my entire adult life is no good. At least not for relationships it's not. At work, I am a complete success. I am one of the best officers in my department. I am a leader, a trainer, an expert and am looked up to. But at home, I am the cause of all the problems. Kind of ironic, I've said this before and I'll say it again..I walk the Earth solving the worlds problems and doing good deeds throughout the land and I can't do the same at home. Strange thing..life..
I guess the problems are in the way I look at my goals. My goal in life has been to be the President. What better position then the ruler of the free world?
Two of my favorite and most inspirational stories from History are as follows..
When Alexander the Great was a boy, 10 years old, he and his father stood at the end of a pasture and saw the most powerful, beautiful horse in all the land! One man after another tried to tame and ride the horse but none were successful. Alexander turned to his father and made a bet. I will tame and ride the horse. If I do, you will buy it for me. If I can't, I will buy it myself and let it run free. So Alexander watched the horse for a few moments and realized the horse was afraid of his own shadow. Everyone that tried to tame it approached the horse from behind and when the horse turned to see what was coming from behind it would see its shadow and run. So Alexander approached the horse from the front with the sun at his back. He pet the horse, and tamed it and rode if back to where his father was standing. His father looked at him and said, "we are going to have to find you a new kingdom, Macedonia is not big enough for you." And it was with this horse that he lead his calvary and won many battles and eventually conquered the world.
I love that story.... The next one is about Julius Ceasar.
When Ceasar first took his army north to fight the Gauls he had to cross a river seperating Rome from Gaul. The river was said to be impassable and the Gauls knew it and stood across the river and taunted Ceasar. Ceasar was a great engineer and his army were the best at construction. So Ceasar put his skills to work and started to build a bridge to cross this river. The Gauls stood on the other side and watched as Ceasar started to cross the river and his bridge did not wash away. By the time the bridge was built, the Gauls had run into the hills. Ceasar marched his entire army across the bridge and made camp on the other side, inside Gaul. The next day, Ceasar marched his army back across the bridge and took the bridge with him. So why did Ceasar cross this river? Not to conquer Gaul, but show the Gauls what Julius Ceasar could do.
So the moral of the story is thus..I have lived my life ever since I was 17 to constantly improve myself. I constantly expand my mind, my body, and to never let any precious opportunity pass. Because once they pass they may never present themselves again. And this carries over into people that I meet. Apparently what I am looking for is my next river to cross..my next horse to tame, and I will never be satisfied.
So I understand this, and maybe it's true. But the problem is, this is who I am..this has made me what I am. And I'm not sure if I want to change. If I don't change..my marriage will go to shit..it pretty much already has.. My counselor says I need to learn to back it down a bit..but how? I don't know..she says that I have reached my pinnacle..and there is nothing left to conquer..She tells me, I've won...how so? I don't know..I don't get it.. The Persians are still coming..lol...
How do you keep yourself from always looking towards the horizon and why is it a bad thing? This is more than how I look at my personal life this is how I look at life in general. I'm learning in class that one key to happiness is to be mindful of the present..and concentrate on what you are doing, and where you are. Yoda said this, "Always to the future he looked..Never his mind on where he was..what he was doing." But what if where you are and what you are doing leaves you feeling blank..and lonley? Do u still sacrifice everything and stay in the present? Or do you look forward and marvel at the possibilities? And what exactly am I looking for? Good question...not an easy one to answer.
So enough fucking philosophy and history. On a good note..the weather is getting great again..and that means..the bike will come out of the garage..not that it ever stopped me before..but now it's beautiful...and I'm looking forward to the weekends..
Fair winds and following seas you freaks..I hope that life is wonderful..it's too short for anything else!
So!!
Today I feel tired as hell! And I don't even know why! I just slept for about 7 hours! But oh well..I think I"m going back to sleep!
So, Gasparilla was awesome..it was a little different to be on the keeping order side instead of the wreaking havoc side!!! But the cool thing is, I can do both..It was a lot of riding and my ass was killing me!! But here's what else happened! After the parade, we went down and worked in ybor city and some bitch punched my horse in the face!! The cops were arresting someone and I moved in to clear the crowd...I guess one of the cops were arresting some chick and her friend was trying to attack the cop..So I moved the horse in to push her back and she punched him and grabbed the reains and starting pushing his head and neck!! And then she ran off!! Weak!! But the ground guys grabbed her! Good times!
So, I'm chillin now..watching the little one..tired as hell..and hungry!! but things are good! I went to a bike rally yesterday and bought the fucking coolest shirt from 187..it says "Drink Fuck Fight" lovely...right up my alley..in about that order too!!
Other than that..things are good..it's a little chilly right now and that doesn't make me too happy..but I'll get over it...
So take care my little angels! Fair winds and following seas!!
Today I feel tired as hell! And I don't even know why! I just slept for about 7 hours! But oh well..I think I"m going back to sleep!
So, Gasparilla was awesome..it was a little different to be on the keeping order side instead of the wreaking havoc side!!! But the cool thing is, I can do both..It was a lot of riding and my ass was killing me!! But here's what else happened! After the parade, we went down and worked in ybor city and some bitch punched my horse in the face!! The cops were arresting someone and I moved in to clear the crowd...I guess one of the cops were arresting some chick and her friend was trying to attack the cop..So I moved the horse in to push her back and she punched him and grabbed the reains and starting pushing his head and neck!! And then she ran off!! Weak!! But the ground guys grabbed her! Good times!
So, I'm chillin now..watching the little one..tired as hell..and hungry!! but things are good! I went to a bike rally yesterday and bought the fucking coolest shirt from 187..it says "Drink Fuck Fight" lovely...right up my alley..in about that order too!!
Other than that..things are good..it's a little chilly right now and that doesn't make me too happy..but I'll get over it...
So take care my little angels! Fair winds and following seas!!
Ok,
So it's been a month since I've posted..I'm such a slacker..lol..
But all in all life in general is good!! The mounted unit thing is awesome..very difficult but cool as hell. I started training my first rookie and thank god he has shit together! although I almost knocked myself clean out jumping into the back of the car to kick someone's ass for kicking at me..but oh well..what can you do? He went to jail, my head is fine...thank you all for your concern!
School is good, going to be a tough semester but I can hack it.
And the most important thing..My daughter is wonderful!! Teeth are poking out, and she is scooting along all over the place!! Absolutely incredible! She is all her dad..laughs at everything and can't get enough!! I love it man!! She is wonderful!
This year seems like it's going to be a busy one..filled with many positives and maybe a few negatives. I have two awesome trips planned..one to Boston..in March..Dropkick Murphys fucking rule...and the other is to my friend's wedding in October..a 6 day cruise down to Mexico from Cali..I can't fucking wait for either one..In the near future I have to work Gasparilla this weekend..I've been there as a pirate..see my awesome pics..and now I am going there to actually manage this maniacal crowd...not so sure about this..I just don't know if I can bring myself to tell some chick to put her tits away..I don't think I can do it..lol...but I guess I'll try..
On a more serious note..I will either make things work with my wife..or I will be divorced by the end of this year...I know it's a long way to go...but something's gotta give..as of right now..I'm not super happy at home..but I was once..and I would rather relive that than completely bail..I will have to make some changes though..both to my outlook on life and my behavior...for thefirst time in my life..I actually look at this as insurmountable task...but I am fucking thick headed..and will not give up until I am no longer physically able to continue..but life is short..and there are many wonderful things to do and many wonderful people to meet..and I think..in part..that is my problem!! But somehow..some way I will make it work...because that my friends...is who I am!!
I love you all!!
Fair winds and following seas!!
So it's been a month since I've posted..I'm such a slacker..lol..
But all in all life in general is good!! The mounted unit thing is awesome..very difficult but cool as hell. I started training my first rookie and thank god he has shit together! although I almost knocked myself clean out jumping into the back of the car to kick someone's ass for kicking at me..but oh well..what can you do? He went to jail, my head is fine...thank you all for your concern!
School is good, going to be a tough semester but I can hack it.
And the most important thing..My daughter is wonderful!! Teeth are poking out, and she is scooting along all over the place!! Absolutely incredible! She is all her dad..laughs at everything and can't get enough!! I love it man!! She is wonderful!
This year seems like it's going to be a busy one..filled with many positives and maybe a few negatives. I have two awesome trips planned..one to Boston..in March..Dropkick Murphys fucking rule...and the other is to my friend's wedding in October..a 6 day cruise down to Mexico from Cali..I can't fucking wait for either one..In the near future I have to work Gasparilla this weekend..I've been there as a pirate..see my awesome pics..and now I am going there to actually manage this maniacal crowd...not so sure about this..I just don't know if I can bring myself to tell some chick to put her tits away..I don't think I can do it..lol...but I guess I'll try..
On a more serious note..I will either make things work with my wife..or I will be divorced by the end of this year...I know it's a long way to go...but something's gotta give..as of right now..I'm not super happy at home..but I was once..and I would rather relive that than completely bail..I will have to make some changes though..both to my outlook on life and my behavior...for thefirst time in my life..I actually look at this as insurmountable task...but I am fucking thick headed..and will not give up until I am no longer physically able to continue..but life is short..and there are many wonderful things to do and many wonderful people to meet..and I think..in part..that is my problem!! But somehow..some way I will make it work...because that my friends...is who I am!!
I love you all!!
Fair winds and following seas!!
So here we go..
I have a buddy of mine, he was my firearms instructor at the academy. Pretty intense dude, good cop. Anyhow, a few years ago he was responding to a call where some shit heard shot his wife and killed her. So my boy organizes some shit and goes and pulls her body from the front of the house because they didn't know if she was dead yet. As he's backing out the fuck face, who ha ran out of the house shoots him in the arm with a hunting rifle. Make a long story short, his arm was jacked up pretty good and he had to have several bone graphs to fix it, but they never took and the department he was working for fired him. He was never he same again, because he loved being a cop.
But anyhow, that's not the worst of it. His son used to play hockey with my brother, and his mom was good friends with my parents. Well his son died, last Thursday..he was in school and he felt a sharp pain in his back and they took him to the hospital. Turns out the valves in his heart were bleeding and as they prepped him for surgery he died. 22 years old. I hadn't spoken to him in years, but what the fuck. I coached the kid once or twice when he played and he was a funny kid. Got into a little trouble over the passed few years but nothing big. Who doesn't when they're kids.
So, that's that...here one minute gone the next. His dad survives a shooting, and he dies from natural causes. What the fuck?
Take care all, every minute is precious. Love you guys.
I have a buddy of mine, he was my firearms instructor at the academy. Pretty intense dude, good cop. Anyhow, a few years ago he was responding to a call where some shit heard shot his wife and killed her. So my boy organizes some shit and goes and pulls her body from the front of the house because they didn't know if she was dead yet. As he's backing out the fuck face, who ha ran out of the house shoots him in the arm with a hunting rifle. Make a long story short, his arm was jacked up pretty good and he had to have several bone graphs to fix it, but they never took and the department he was working for fired him. He was never he same again, because he loved being a cop.
But anyhow, that's not the worst of it. His son used to play hockey with my brother, and his mom was good friends with my parents. Well his son died, last Thursday..he was in school and he felt a sharp pain in his back and they took him to the hospital. Turns out the valves in his heart were bleeding and as they prepped him for surgery he died. 22 years old. I hadn't spoken to him in years, but what the fuck. I coached the kid once or twice when he played and he was a funny kid. Got into a little trouble over the passed few years but nothing big. Who doesn't when they're kids.
So, that's that...here one minute gone the next. His dad survives a shooting, and he dies from natural causes. What the fuck?
Take care all, every minute is precious. Love you guys.
So here's the truth..
I am absolutely amazed, that someone on our evening shift hasn't been killed yet. and maybe I shouldn't say this out loud..but it is ridiculous how complacent and careless these people are. Maybe they don't realize that there are people with guns out there who would kill them for no reason. Oh well, nothing I can do. I only work an evening shift once a month the day before SWAT training and I hate it. The good news is, when one of them gets shot, I'll know where the bad guy is. That sounds like a bad thing to say, and it is...but I've trained and retrained most of these people and it falls on deaf ears..so, not much I can do. Just stand back, cover my own ass and pick up the pieces.
Love you guys!!
I am absolutely amazed, that someone on our evening shift hasn't been killed yet. and maybe I shouldn't say this out loud..but it is ridiculous how complacent and careless these people are. Maybe they don't realize that there are people with guns out there who would kill them for no reason. Oh well, nothing I can do. I only work an evening shift once a month the day before SWAT training and I hate it. The good news is, when one of them gets shot, I'll know where the bad guy is. That sounds like a bad thing to say, and it is...but I've trained and retrained most of these people and it falls on deaf ears..so, not much I can do. Just stand back, cover my own ass and pick up the pieces.
Love you guys!!
Ok, so check this out...I started learning to ride horses for our mounted unit at work. My ass is killing me..but it's so awesome..I've always liked horses but I've never had the money to get one..so, now that I've been practically given one it's good times. I'm not even close to the level of riding that's required to go out on patrol..but when I am..stand by..don't be coming out fucking up..cuz I'll bowl you right over..
and on the flip side..I'm getting the itch for a new tat..big time..but!! speaking of fucking money we have none.. when we had our big fight she went to australia and stopped working and took all the fucking money! so we have bills to pay and blah blah blah..but I need one..we'll see..
So, other then that my baby is great and she's getting so big and has a great personality!! for the most part, life is grand..i love you guys!!
and on the flip side..I'm getting the itch for a new tat..big time..but!! speaking of fucking money we have none.. when we had our big fight she went to australia and stopped working and took all the fucking money! so we have bills to pay and blah blah blah..but I need one..we'll see..
So, other then that my baby is great and she's getting so big and has a great personality!! for the most part, life is grand..i love you guys!!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!
So obviously today is the day to reflect on what you have in life and give thanks for it. So, that's a funny thing I guess. Because sometimes life can make you feel like there is not much to be thankful for but that's just not the case. I'm learning that every day I can get up on my own two feet is a great day. And I guess that's what I'm most thankful for. The ability to get up one more time then I fall down. Because in reality, that's what life is all about. Especially for me. I'm a complicated mother fucker and a real pain in the ass. And sometimes, I trip and fall, and sometimes I get knocked clean the fuck over. But the bottom line is that you can't stop me, and I will always get back up. I've been told a million times that I need to slow down and take it easy, and all I can say is that there will be plenty of time for that when I'm dead. One day, we will all take a great dirt nap, but until, rise, and be proud of who and what you are, and what you have going for you. Life is good, and the world, is a very cool place.
So obviously today is the day to reflect on what you have in life and give thanks for it. So, that's a funny thing I guess. Because sometimes life can make you feel like there is not much to be thankful for but that's just not the case. I'm learning that every day I can get up on my own two feet is a great day. And I guess that's what I'm most thankful for. The ability to get up one more time then I fall down. Because in reality, that's what life is all about. Especially for me. I'm a complicated mother fucker and a real pain in the ass. And sometimes, I trip and fall, and sometimes I get knocked clean the fuck over. But the bottom line is that you can't stop me, and I will always get back up. I've been told a million times that I need to slow down and take it easy, and all I can say is that there will be plenty of time for that when I'm dead. One day, we will all take a great dirt nap, but until, rise, and be proud of who and what you are, and what you have going for you. Life is good, and the world, is a very cool place.
So blah blah blah..
The counselor says I have no boundries, and that's why I act the way I do..and I say yes I do have boundries, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do what I do for a living..and do it as well as I do..or, maybe it's because I'm always onthe fence, that makes me good at what I do..I dunno..either way.I'm good at it.. So where is all my distress coming from? My relationships..I suck at them..I know..I'm self centered, too easily swayed and always have my eye on something else...but is that all my fault? Do I have no boundries in this relationship because I'm unhappy? Or do I really just HAVE NO BOUNDRIES..strange thing..being me..
But enough of that..honestly..I'm tired of talking about it!! Tired of thinking about it..and just want to get back to living life!! Fuck!!
So we had training yesterday and it was awesome..tromping through the woods looking for shitheads.it was great..I love, LOVE my job..and I just got made a trainer..this place will never be the same.. I now have personal input on our new guys future careers in law enforcement..it's gonna be great..those poor kids.this poor department..lol..just kidding..they are gonna be the best cops this fucking place has ever seen!! Cuz I got my shit together!!!
On another note, a buddy of mine asked me to go to the fuel concert on SAturday...BUT!! the UFC is this Saturday.what to do..what to do.so many choices!! SO little time..Fuck it...I'll figure it out..
I love you all!! THis world rocks..and I"ll see you all soon..hopefully!!
The counselor says I have no boundries, and that's why I act the way I do..and I say yes I do have boundries, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do what I do for a living..and do it as well as I do..or, maybe it's because I'm always onthe fence, that makes me good at what I do..I dunno..either way.I'm good at it.. So where is all my distress coming from? My relationships..I suck at them..I know..I'm self centered, too easily swayed and always have my eye on something else...but is that all my fault? Do I have no boundries in this relationship because I'm unhappy? Or do I really just HAVE NO BOUNDRIES..strange thing..being me..
But enough of that..honestly..I'm tired of talking about it!! Tired of thinking about it..and just want to get back to living life!! Fuck!!
So we had training yesterday and it was awesome..tromping through the woods looking for shitheads.it was great..I love, LOVE my job..and I just got made a trainer..this place will never be the same.. I now have personal input on our new guys future careers in law enforcement..it's gonna be great..those poor kids.this poor department..lol..just kidding..they are gonna be the best cops this fucking place has ever seen!! Cuz I got my shit together!!!
On another note, a buddy of mine asked me to go to the fuel concert on SAturday...BUT!! the UFC is this Saturday.what to do..what to do.so many choices!! SO little time..Fuck it...I'll figure it out..
I love you all!! THis world rocks..and I"ll see you all soon..hopefully!!
