Last night my wife was just dozing off to sleep, she cuddled up to me, took my hand and placed it on her pussy saying, "Do you mind?" What? Is this a trick question?

After a long time I decided to rejoin, well, I'm square - I like naked, tattooed women - I can't help it.

Just a note to say that I'm going into hospital on Wednesday - surgical removal of all four wisdom teeth. I'm not looking forwards to it, so wish me luck....

YEAH! We're off for a dirty weekend in Hamburg - it's going to be fun, we'll be there from the 5th to the 8th of September - anyone got any suggestions ?

Oh no. It's started..... The brain-dead chants that herald the onset of a football tournament. It couldn't be the final of the Champions League. Not here, I mean neither team is German. Just as well they don't sing, "'ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go....." I suppose I should be grateful for that.

I am suffering writers block at the moment - have been for about the past six months, and it's bloody frustrating. You want to put something in hard copy - and the words just will not come.