so i lost a month of my life there...and that really sucks. but it was better than the alternative.

and yeah, i'm gonna be kinda cryptic on this subject. some things don't need to be shared with the world.

i'm working on catching up on messages, blog posts, and friend requests...also trying to get back in the swing of things...

y'know...perving on all the hot ladies here.

sorry to disappear.

just spent a week in jail.

i'll post a more proper update and answer all my messages later.

an extra big apology to BrokenHallejuah. sorry, love.

i've had the phantom of the paradise soundtrack stuck in my head all week...

no matter how many time i hear it, i'm amazed at how varied it is...

seriously considering uploading all the tracks to my video section here...just so's ya'll can hear it too.

so after reading another blog, i decided to see how much of my hard drive was taken up with pictures from sg...

i was shocked.

19.3 gb (101,668 files) of official suicidegirls
21.2 gb (94,448 files) of hopefuls, past & present
17.6 gb (1,575 files) of suicidegirls and hopefuls engaging in hardcore sex acts

that's...more than i was expecting.



i'm kinda scared to analyze and breakdown what's on my portable hard drives!

so...i gave the new job a try today...took my first appointment!

i am officially a "sexy maid." (part-time only!)

i gotta say...i loved it! the customer was very sweet and friendly, and we had a nice time. did some laundry, some ironing...nothing stressful. then he gave me a pretty sizable tip to dance while i dusted his entertainment center...

and i made sure to spend extra time bent over, working on the lower shelves. the tip at the end told me i had the right idea!



i was a little nervous at first, just because i didn't know the guy...but after just a few minutes i felt perfectly at ease!

so...like my "uniform?"

heh...just got offered a job working for a "sexy maid" service. costumes, lingerie, bikini and full nude.

i'm seriously considering it...it'd be nice to wear something other than a hazmat suit to work!



i told the lady though...i own no bikinis or bras! might haveta do some shopping...

my friend keeps offering to teach me how to take better pictures, and i think i'm going to take him up on it. he's never done "professional" work (meaning he's never sold it), but he takes fantastic shots. he's been doing pictures for models' portfolios and such for years (and he did all of my sister's pictures, and there were some amazing ones of her)...

i'd love to have a new hobby...even if i just did it for free.

now...just need to get off my butt and actually do it!

it's kind of sad...

i knew my sister had been a member here, and with some minor detective work, i found her page. and i found...someone who i never really knew. someone with a deep understanding of who she was, and who she wanted to be. confident, brazen and intellectual. i wish i had known that person.

why do people keep the best parts of themselves hidden?

i spent so many years feeling out of place because of my sexual proclivities...who knew that she had the exact same feelings? there's so much we could have talked about...we might have even been close. we both could've used a sister to be close to...i had no idea the things she went through. and she had no idea what i was going through.

shame...so much we both missed out on.

holy shit...i totally forgot what day it was!

so i'm officially 35.

so now my to-do list for my birthday:

get my friend to watch my son for a few hours tonight (they'll play with gi joes and have fun ).
find a suitable hook-up and get fucked well.
watch wrestlemania.

here's hoping...