Biship's January 03, 2013 blog about life

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Thursday blog about life

JANUARY 3, 2013 @ 06:18 AM

So it's a new year and a whole new vibe. I apologize for my long absence from SG. My life since August has been in such upheaval that hardly know who I am or where I've been or what I've been doing!!
I had an 8 year relationship end, started a new one (erroneously, but I'll get into that alter) moved house, regretted moving and now have to find another place to live!
So. let it never be said that my life is boring.
I have come to the conclusion that I am a control freak. I've been trying to bend the universe to my tiny will and it has only bitten me on the ass. And whopped me on the head. And just about every other unpleasantness you can conceive. I'm an idiot.
Apparently the only way I could summon the chutzpah to end things in my last relationship was to have an affair. How stupid of me. creating yet another reason and excuse to not step out into the unknown.
I wrongly thought this new man was the answer to all my prayers. Turns out, not so much

So now I am living in his house. He thinks this is for keeps and I just wanna run a mile, but feel trapped.
My dear parents who live in Canada are absolutely gagging to have me join them there, but my stupid pride has held me back. Whatthefuckamidoing?
I think I have to summon the strength to just take the plunge and leave and head for colder climes.
what do Y'all think?
Promise to be in better touch from now on
lots of love
and brightest blessings on SG-land
B

Callistus

San Antonio, TX

January 2005

JAN 03, 2013 06:23 AM

I believe taking a break away from your current situation might help ease the pain and tension. Take your parent's offer. Clear your head and emotions, then see what you want or need to do.

andresr

Brazil

December 2012

JAN 03, 2013 06:36 AM

I imagine it's a hard moment, probably necessary to you grow on life, how person. You are beautiful, and young, so take reins of you life and work. And you never will need someone. When find the right guy , you not need him, only share the really love. You not need anyone, only yourself.

Lumo

SUICIDEGIRL

South Africa

JAN 03, 2013 07:01 AM

Let the change be the catalyst for better things *hug* in climes hot or cold.

apocalypseMM

South Africa

February 2012

JAN 03, 2013 07:19 AM

get out of bad relationships... thats all I can say, I also had a bad year on that front... it hurts and it's hard but 6 months later my life is 1000 times brighter and life is fun again...

end it and move on, save the later pain...

go stay with a friend, get your stuff into storage, spend some time alone and decide what you want - not anyone else, and not what circumstances are forcing you into.

Strongs... hope it works out!

PS - year of the dragon is almost done... it's been a monster...

Ig

United Kingdom

May 2003

JAN 03, 2013 07:53 AM

I think you need a period of reflection and a break in Canada could be just the answer - leave things behind you and start again - but hey what do I know

catdad

Portland, OR

August 2002

JAN 03, 2013 07:47 PM

Um, Portland is nice. And sorry to hear how this all went down, but sounds like you have a good perspective on it now. Good luck with your current future.

papaT

USA

October 2006

JAN 06, 2013 11:23 AM

well, since you asked, I think you should look inside ...breathe, quiet your mind, steady your heart and reclaim your center ...once there, you'll know what to do and where to be; your will but just a reflection of the flow

...have a blessed journey

talamia

South Africa

July 2008

JAN 10, 2013 02:26 PM

Aw I didn't read this 'til now... as cliche'd as it is, you need to follow your heart and face decisions that scare you in order to grow stronger *hug hug hug*