It's my birthday.. Everything is wrong... I'm tired of fighting

I'm back.. Don't know why most of. The people on here wanted nothing to do with me... free is free I guess

Its a New Year... I lost 85 pounds... sIm on Eharmony Went to Ny for NewYears Eve ... I still feel fat poor and alone no matter what I do its not enough...I know its inn my head but I can not shake it ...

I Sweartogod...... I manic Depressive...or something Bipolar. I could have the Greatest time of my live and I will fell Like shit the foollowing Few days... Case in Point ... I wen t tpo the Amanda Palmer Concert . with some friends wich is an accopmplishment in it self.


After the Concert (wich was good ..not her best but its still amazing to see her preform) Amanda Signed things.. i brought my Sketch book when I showed her the Sketch... She went nuts She Loved it... showed the photographer Kyle Cassidy who took the picture he went nuts too They Loved it ... I was EXTATIC.

Heres the proff heres Amanda ..Admiring my pic


When I walked away Amanda Yelled "Dude your Fucking Talented".... I was beaming ... Praise from Ceaser her self!!!

I look like a doofus!!

and Heres the Pic she went nuts for it is from her new new Photo book "Who killed Amanda P{almer!



I also had a first..this was the First time since i lost weight I was able to but a t shirt and a Hoodie at a concert casue they FIT!!1 that was a good feeling ..



adn this is Daryll and me (Virginia's husband...)




Heres my frineds that went with me Virginia and Dean ...



I had a Great time Now I feel like Shit.....Ill live .. heres a you tube vid of Amanda Singing Oasis...

At the urging of others here are some new pics ... I currently weight 283...I was 356 last August... I rn about 20 miles a week and Work out three times a week.now I just need a life ... then The circle shall be complete..





Enjoy Ill try to bee better about posting Happyness and love and Rainbows

Talk to me GOOSE

Things are doing well Im almost at a loss of 80 pounds and now Ive been replasing two to three meals a week with some sore of vegaterrian option.. I aint giving up meat its just I know I consume ALOT of red meat and want to control it a bit ... I know I havnt been a round latly and when I do post its depressing ..... Ill try to stop that... any way hope all is well wioth you and Im off....

Off to New yourk This weekend To be in A 24 hour Play....

Im stiff on vacation... I still feell somehting wrong woith me ... Im loosing weight Ive lost almost 70 poounds ... In look better then I ever have I still have some problems in my head to sort out... Im trying. Im getting more friends , Im doing more things I still feel like a monster oh well im trying better. Oh well and It looks I alienated most of my frineds on here too oh well im gonna keep tracking...

I'm on vacation and all I do is worried ..theres streaks on my laptop...I ate too much at the Buffet..Jesus I cant turn my mind off ... Im beginning to think im Schizophrenic or someh=thing ......damn it why cant AI be happy Im gonna look at some ttties and eat a taco...

;P