Has anyone else who has spent a long time drinking over a few days found themselves kinda wanting a beer for breakfast? I used to just cave as a teenager, my liver hardening jaunts culminating when, through escalation with a bandmate in our van, ate a bowl of frosties with cider as we had no milk.

I have just spent 3 days getting disturbingly hammered with a very old friend from west wales. Tom. He is a dude. He's off on a world tour next week so he's doing some rounds before he goes with those that matter, he's good like that.

I'm not going into full detailed gossip detail of conversations, girls, blowouts and jokes because... I just don't have the time. Plus a lot of it takes savage amounts of back story etc... basically great times.

We started with quiet drinks on thursday at the Social where we saw about 3 bands that sounded like The Killers about 4 years too late, they were a beautifully polished and matured interpretation though, so no complaints.

Then we escalated the event on friday night (I'm liking that word today, so don't burn my narrow literary palette, anyway we all know there's a two colour minimum and one accent tone to any celebrated aesthetic art, of course the accent can be multitonal... I think, I digress, I close the bracket) joining his brother and a few of his work mates at The Pit (he live in Nottingham) which was lovely. The Maltcross as well which is a great little bar, an old music hall I'm told that's been converted, so it has this gallery mezzanine type affair looking down on the main bar. I can't remember where we ended up, indie disco really.

Train early saturday morning to Birmingham to continue. Must have been an odd sight at the train station , we were still in the clothes we slept in, looking... ummm... like shit. Red eyes and stinking, smoking constantly when we could and very unshaven. I had skinny blue jeans and a lumberjack shirt with my prized lumberjack jacket (it's got a massive colar with straps on so you can kook it round your neck like a scarf) and my beaten leather shoulder bag, plus two co-op bags full of asorted beers. Tom had his suit trousers still on and shoes but had replaced the jacket with a plain navy blue hoodie and a pair of narrow sunglasses, also this barrel bag he's travelling with. Which looks a lot fuller and heavier than it should be. I wish I could have got a photo, we looked like the scummiest dodgey would-be criminals I'd ever seen.

So we played up to it.

Protecting the barrel bag nervously and shouting in code across spaces if we needed to talk at distance. Making sure we ran onto the train talking quietly about watching not to damage the bag and about our would-be pursuers. Obviously we drank through the journey. We were pretty wrecked by the time we reached Birmingham and had subtley scared the carriage we were in to the point of being welcomed at New Street by transport police. We explained our situation and after a brief bout os questioning they let us go, they had a feeling it was a hoax... unsuprisingly.They were thinking about confiscating our beers but we managed to worm our way out coz the bags had empties in to and I don't think they wan't to deal with those.

Saturday night involved a burlesque night at The Academy in Brum... with Dragonforce. Bizzarly the club had a VIP section, never have them usually at the Academy, but half of the balcony was closed off for VIP. Only Dragonforce would do this. Also they were wandering around the club with a mini posse collecting all the girls who were dressed up, or were hot. This was pretty dickish in my opinion, lol... but then, hell, I would. So we joined one of the groups chatting to them and managed to wing ourselves some wrist bands. It was a dead good call, AKA it was full of hot burlesque pretty young things, lol.... Tom and I continued to use the old psych games to chat to people, he's a bit like Darren Brown for the suggestion etc and he knows NLP etc... although he's very moral with it, that's his name to most people... Moral.

I bought a camera finally, on sunday with the movie monies... so here is a pic... I bought the camera after I had finished the above weekend, sooooo. No evidence, lol. But meh, next time.


I still don't know what to call it. It'll come.

Nottingham is kinda getting me down a bit at the moment. Everyone is cool, but they're wary, which is to be expected really. I haven't been playing The Game hard enough and so I probably seem a bit weird by how relaxed I am by my situation, or something... I know they say it takes 6 months to get settled somewhere, but the way my life seems to be running I don't know if I'll be in one place for 6 months. Everything is pretty uncertain and I'm so annoyingly content with it. Still Matt is here now (AKA my 3rd year friend, 3rd year of primary education that is, we go back, lol) and it's been fun hanging out with him, he has a great outlook on things.

I think we will be residence of the open mics in Notts for sure, I like free and live music . If you see us, say hey.

1. Housing Stress. I'm being evicted, good times. We want out, but the landlord et al have taken it inot their own hands. They can't take it to court becasue we have enough evidence to be able to get out of the contract and claim compensation. So it should be okay, but this is still a battle I have to fight from a distance. The house is in Birmimgham, I live in Nottingham. My hoisemates are useless cretins at the moment, one is unemplyed and I don't care what he says it's by choice, nobody is unemployed for 5 months if they are actively seeking work and can have a quality of life they are used to on minimum wage. The other is 'stressed' by his masters project handed in a week late because he play WOW all the fucking time. They have done fuck all with their time to help and now I have to take the whole case on.

2. Work Stress. I have completed my job in record time, woot, and have put my mind to a number of other problems that my employer is facing. However my contract does run out in like 2 months and I have no job security. They would love to keep me on they really do, but just creating a role is hard to do and they didn't think I'd be this great . Why is this a stress? Well it just is.

3. Family Stress. Got back sunday, after getting a lift from a train friend and his girlfriend to home (thanks Stu, you legend) as my train was super delayed, to find Mom going through an episode, they happen a lot less these days, but it's hard. She's totally taken on help though this time which is a big step, she finds it hard asking help of others. But it meant that Dad and I were dealing with her aggression and an ambulance crew trying to get her overdose sorted at A+E. It's especially hard for Dad, he has to deal with all the... she must be abused at home looks. It just kinda scares me in a small child kind of way.

4. Personal Stress. I have nobody to go to with any of this. It's taking so much time for me to build up a decent friend base in Notts and it's rewarding, but occasionally I scare people off with the slight desperation, lol, I have to check myself... But things look better. Still I miss having people I can go to with things that understand and support. Ya know.... that's a bit lame, but still, it's a stress.


The only reason I'm not dead inside... :meow:

I have started playing the open mic and acoustic scene in and around Notts. It's sooooo nice to play my own songs in intimate gigs with a nice solid reaction. It's the first time in 5 years I've had creative control over the music I play and it's nice. All I have to take is a pick and my acoustic.

Rather than....

1. Guitar (Gibson SG)
2. Guitar (Tanglewood Semi)
3. Keyboard (Roland SH101)
4. Keyboard (16 Channel MIDI controller and 2 octave bass board)
5. Drum Machine (Roland Dr Groove)
6. Mini Mixer (8 Channel Edirol Mixer)
7. 2 Teir Keyboard Stand (Kwik Lok we love you)
8. Amp (Ashdown Fallen Angel 2x12)
9. Extension Cab (Laney 2x12)
10. Pedal Board
i. Boss Tuner
ii. EHX The Worm
iii.Dunlop Cry Baby
iv. Boss Line Selector
v. EHX Small Stone
vi. Boss Flanger
vii. Boss Super Chorus
viii. ProCo Turbo Rat
ix. Boss Hyper Fuzz
x. Boss Distortion
xi. DHA Hot Plate Preamp
xii.Marshall Reflector Reverb
xiii. MXR Super Comp
xiv. EHX Mini POG

It's like breathing in central London and suddenly being on top of a green welsh mountain....... it's so fucking refreshing. I'll get back to playing in a full band again soon enough, but for the mo. This is the embodiment of my adoptive freedoms.

Well I got back from Creamfields monday afternoon and felt like...... ROSES AND SUNSHINE!

I've never been so debauched at a festival and felt so good! Lol... it's odd, I even went to work for 8 this morning and was fine. The journey back monday was a stress free shuttle bus to Runcorn station. Where we had to remove our shoes, which were coated in clay, and place them in a small bag. Wash in the most beautiful station toilets I have ever seen and get a few different trains home. Had to change like twice coz they kept canceling services going south coz of some suicidal looser. But it was still really chilled. We even missed 3 trains from Crewe back to Brum in like 20 minutes of faffing and still got home before schedule!!

But I digress.

It was a great weekend, photos pending... Pendulum were better than expected (In Silly Company by 'Pen-Duhhh-Lum' is not my favourite album, however the great Hold You Colour By 'Pendulum', is... if you get my humour... which you don't is seems, good), Soulwax were storming as were Kasabian who I do love live a lot more than on record.

Saw all the Birmingham crew, Hype Andy C etc... and Felix De fucking Housecat... Whom I've seen like 5 times, not a massive fan, like not love, but I see them all the time somehow.

Chic made me wet my panties with summertime jazz joy... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FREAK OUT!

Many other japes to numerous to mention also occured.

Plus..... Everyone and I mean everyone that we spoke to that was a solid gold diamond geezer or a cutely charming first rate lady was Scottish or Northern Irish. Lots of London louts and gobby Scouser. But ALL the nice people were celts... loved it! Maybe it was because we had a red headed Irish thoroughbred with us..... maybe

Curse my foolishly soft heart!

I bottled out of telling my housemates that I was seriously considering moving to Nottingham.

Maybe I'll break it to some of the guys at Creamfields and then the rest when I get home...

If they're high, they'll be really happy for me that I've made a decision to move on and up. Right?

Or maybe I'll be too high to break the mood and just join in with the 'We're the best band in the world' stuff that usually comes out.... Damn....

Either way. Damn. If I do and if I don't. This will suck when it breaks and I don't even have a shoulder to cry on when it does. 'Le sigh'. At least The Prof will be here soon.

He's a friend I've known since 2nd year... we called him The Prof back then, on account of his love of Dinosaurs and vast knowledge on The RNLI (I kid you not). He is now doing a PhD in political history here in Nottingham in september! Fitting. He's always been the sturdy sensible tree to my passionate strong winds... Good ear. Good times.

All the more reason to get this Birmingham mess sorted... 'le sigh'........ why are things hard? Rhetorical!

It's good to be back home with my own things.

G and I watched Secret Window this evening. Dead funny. I kind of resent having to value certain days of the week over others, but I think I could dig this weekend thing. I'd like to pretend I had to put off cutting the grass or something tomorrow, but secretly I'm just gonna love the inactivity ...

Well.... many of will not know that I am working for a mental health trust of the NHS.... I'm leading a project, that I'm not going to get into details about here... mostly coz it's confidential and things like this are data protected.... BUT.

I had my first visit to a medium security CAMH ward today (AKA Child and Adolesant Mental Health). I think I may have found the love of my life! She's kooky and attractive and young and interesting!

I came through the locked doors at the reception of the building and through onto one of the wards... I was hereby greeted by a curvy blue eyed girl, she had long nipple length, straight blonde hair, with a pair of neat black glasses tucked ontop of her head and was wearing knee length, loose white linen skirt matched with a tight white blouse and a pair of cherry red DMs, untied. She must have noticed me blush when I shook her hand and asked to see the ward manager, as she smiled sweetly, in that way girls do when they see a guy crumble at the sight of them. There was an awkward exchange of purposes, her voice was soft and pretty well recieved without being posh, I swallowed too much.

She heel toed and quickly disappeared round a corner, the male nurse that was guiding me eyed my reaction. 'We don't often get young lads working round 'ere, I bet you're looking out for a pretty young nurse aren't ya?'. I laughed and laddishly told him I couldn't help but notice that the psych nurses were the pick of the crop. They're all relaxed and interesting people, with good stories and caring souls, without the bitterness associated with your average general nurse that deals with shit and blood all day. We giggled as the ward manager trotted round the corner her arms full of 'business'. But my mind was still running over the girls eyes and how foolish I felt at my blushing, it always highlights my acne.

The ward manager ushered us both down the corridor and towards the main office. The nurse and his manager took the lead and began to chat about the recent intake and the dealings of the day. Someone on one of the intensive wards in another building had set fire to themselves that morning and it was pretty hot news, when I heard a soft call from behind me. 'Jason! Jason one moment'... it sounded like the voice of that young psych nurse, my breath left me and I choked for a split second. She must have read my name from my ID, I didn't remember telling her, I had thought that was odd at the time surly she'd need to tell her manager who I was. I passed it off as her simply being gorgeous and talented and peceptive.

I turned with the nurse ahead of me as the ward manager turned herself around the next corner. There she was, the young blonde. Naked. She had a beautiful body, her breasts were about as perky as they get with nipples naturally aching to face sky and a pinched waist with a cute, slim, pot belly, leading down to her curvy hips. She had politely trimmed dark hair above her pussy shaved to a wide stripe. She was still wearing the DMs. Simply gorgeous, my jaw dropped (you had to check her out didn't you - ED). 'Please Jason! If you marry me, they'll let me go home'... The male nurse strode past me, pulling off his long sleave top and wrapping it round her, giggling. 'No no Alice, we'll let Jason and Rachel get on with their business, back to your room'. Rachel was stood behind me now, 'You'll get used to the adolecent wards Jason', her eyes dropped and her voice got a bit harder, 'Never go on the wards alone. We can stop in my office if you like?'....

Turns out she was a 'service user'.... damn it!

Soooooooooooooooo.... I've had a busy day doing business. At least even if my investigation shows that I can't go forward and action the project proposal, I've got some stories .

Well I have a job to tide me over for a few months and stop me having to introduce myself as 'A Bum'.

It's a project management type role for HM (that's her majesty to any non brits).... money isn't as good as it could be for the position, it's gay public service (stupid tax spending), but it's enough. If I'm honest I thought they were joking when they told me the salary.... it's way more than I was expecting!!!!

It's out of Notts so I'll be staying with the rents during the week and going back to my house at weekends. Not a great setup, but it's all I have for now.

It does mean though that by Christmas I will be able to buy me one of these for myself from 'Santa'



Turns out I love ESP way better than the original... they're Strat copy beats the shit out of any American Fender I've played, like ever... AKA I liked the ESP one, I fucking hate all other Strats... and their LPs are The Sex!!

Also I want



So sexy.... so very naked and sexy. You can see under the lacquer .

I need heavier music... I am getting so bored of thr bands I play in. The sparse prog guitar and rave synth playing were great when it was new and exciting and a challenge, but now it's just boring if I'm totally honest.

I watched a rockumentary with my housemates (and bandmates) on Killswitch Engage the other day....

oh and for the information of the world.... Killswitch Engage is abrieviated to KE not KSE! Killswitch is one fucking word you retards! I mean for gods sake... Hardcore isn't spelled with an X either.... fuck tards. Anyway... ignoring the fact that I know full well why this is the way, and I actually kinda like it...

I wanna play Metalcore... or just something heavy and fast and heavy and brutal and fun and not fucking low mood indie or dirty ecstasy fuelled, whatever the fuck BST is...

Any takers?

Obviously I'm playing guitar and maybe some vocals. But will need at least 3 others willing to whore themselves to 'The Scene' and sell their ass to a youthful audience at about £4 a pop....

Answers on a postcard please!

I wrote a synopsis, but the internet was silly and I lost it..... that's happened twice in the time it took to write this blog.... I wasn't gonna give up.... well till now.

Basically... GCHQ postponed.... Babcock were cocks and too many sacrifices.... plus foolish amoral facade broken by clever techniques, didn't get in........ Sticking to 'The Plan'. It was a good plan, why am I trying to deviate, nobody knows.... oh what a delightful world we live in.

The End.

Mom got all artistic on my ass and took jazzy pics throughout the day...

Look at me go in a scholaristic manner....





For the few that might be interested ----> The ceremony was all a bit Unseen University... I liked the absurd pageantry.

First the engineering school baton was paraded down the central aisle of the Universities, Great Hall (all stained glass , marble pilars and a very large church organ, playing baroque, classical and the star wars theme, awesome) followed by a few members of the departments in their velvet robes and floppy hats (special note to the business lecturer P R Atkins (yes thats Prat-Kins) only in bachelor gowns, lol) (you snob - Ed). Then the University baton followed by the Dean, Vice Chancellor and Pro Vice Chancellor and the heads of the school.

Followed by a load of ritual speaches: I found it funny that the Vice Chancellor's involved a lot of, 'for the degree that the said person has done that thing that he may have done very well, over some time for that guy'... Very general and ditached, made me think of Mustrum Ridcully mumbling about universities being great places except for the students, lol....

At the end we all joined a parade with the faculty and heads out of the hall as everyone (AKA guests and parents at the back) cheered, for the final department photo. Great day, silly, but still a really great day .

Well I got my computer back. Tried to use it plugged into my universal adaptor and the battery just contiuned to run down. So I took it to The Tech Guys to check if it was my power supply adaptor... nope, they couldn't charge it either. For fuck sake. I have to send it back again now with this detailed description and hope they actually do something about it.

I've been without it now for nearly two weeks! I may die... I haven't finished mixing the new Bee Stealers EP... I have to use my housemates computer to check my email and sort out things for job applications... I can't use MSN when I wanna to chat to peeps outside my area code.... jeez... I can't even look at porn or jerk off to SG , lol.... ....... This situation can fuck RIGHT off. I'm havin to use Mom's at home atm.

Well I have started taking job searches seriously and on adding my details to monster and other such websites, the phone hasn't stopped bloody ringing, I wish they'd leave me alone!

A few of em seem super cool though and I might actually be interested, AKA they don't involve being a design engineer for the worlds leader in high power switching gear in Mansfield (eiw) or some world leader in control valve manurfacturing... dull.

Babcock nuclear energy services... nuclear responsibility? I don't know whether I'd trust myself helping to oversee decommissioning projects. The prospectus looks cool though, lots of pics of cold storage areas .

MOD Avionics... They can't tell me what I'd be doing , but they want me to attend a group assesment at GCHQ. This one I didn't apply for, some women phoned me and told me she had my CV infront of her and 'was I available on the 24th July'......... I never sent my CV to her! Scared? Yes. Excited and curious? Definitely. My brother says it might be because UoB os Russell group, but I prefer the 007 explaination.