Canceling my SG account, cleared up my myspace, deleted my stickam account. Ladies and Gents, I'm exhausted, and I don't need false hope right now. All this website has brought me is pain, and the others well... they're another form of pain. Regardless, Nobody respects me or gives a damn, else things wouldn't be playing out the way they are.
And thus, I bid you adieu. If you have my phone number, feel free to call and ask "What the fuck man?". I'm not going to be making first contact with anyone but my closest and oldest friends, I know they're real and aren't playing with me like a toy.
And thus, I bid you adieu. If you have my phone number, feel free to call and ask "What the fuck man?". I'm not going to be making first contact with anyone but my closest and oldest friends, I know they're real and aren't playing with me like a toy.
Forgive me, I'm such a puss. Who honestly wants to hear the musings of a sad, depressed man who gets his own hopes up and watches as they crash and burn before his eyes.
Been a little while, so let's update for like the .25 people who read this shit.
Last weekend was a complete work overhaul. Tax free weekend down here in Dallas, and being a Cashier at a store with shoes, clothing, sports gear, and other shit; It was quite a chore to maintain a kind demeanor. Especially if you take into factor how much people piss me off, oh well, spilt milk.
The week went by pretty mediocre-ish. I met with my recruiter Monday and we drove down to the Dallas county civil court to do a background check on me. Came up clear. He assigned me a pretty minuscule task, get two letters of recommendation from non-family members. I had my ex-girlfriends mom type one out and fax it to him, It doesn't seem he ever got it soooo.... I got my neighbor to type one out, it's on my desk right now. I went to a friends house and asked his dad to make one, he's supposed to call me to pick it up sometime.
The rest of the week was just work and bullshit, till Friday. Friday was my day off, Friday was payday. Friday was the day I got on craigslist and bought a compound bow for $75. Then I met up with my redneck buddy, everyone calls him cowboy. He's full of shit, but that's another story. I was about to leave his house on the premises of getting a haircut, then he decided he needed one too and drove me to a place around the corner he saw. $25 dollar haircut ftw? Neg, The boobies were nice, the scalp massage was nice, the shampoo was tingly. But for $25 dollars the boobies needed to be shirtless at least, and a phone number wouldn't have been all that bad either.
Exit Friday; Enter stage left, Saturday. Woke up at 7am sharp like I was supposed to, hit the snooze button twice. Then I shut off my alarm clock and slept in to 9:18 (I was supposed to be at work at 9), Got a call from work not too long after I woke up saying I was supposed to be at work at 9 and wanting to know if I was coming in at all. All I could say was "Yep, I know, I'm coming NOW! *click*" I got there like 15 minutes later, counted my till, and began the 6 hours of pure costumer interaction (joi). I was scheduled to have a lunch at like noon, but the genius I am I slept in and in doing so, Didn't make enough hours to qualify for a lunch break. I still got all the hours I would have gotten, It was just torture not being able to break for food, lol.
Got off work at 4, drove to taco bell and wolfed down a quesadilla faster than you can properly say "Thirst Surge" 3x fast. Try it. Then I drove home, got showered, sat on my bed for about 15 minutes in the nude, then I got dressed and argued with myself over whether it would be wise to go back up to work and ask my coworker if she wants to grab some chow after her shift. I wound up going to the Galleria mall and visiting my friend Ash.... After I sprayed myself in the eye with axe on accident. Fucking stung! After meeting up with her, I walked around the mall on my own for about an hour and a half. Preying on single women (whom I haven't the balls to confront and ask out)... so I guess I window shopped for an hour and a half? I think my masculinity meter went down 5 notches.
It was drawing close to 9 when I left the mall, I went to burger king, Got myself a juicy burger coated with cheese and bacon and went to Cowboy's house to chill. I drew a penis on his arm (ftw), a drunk guy swirved down the street in a bigass truck and almost hit both of our cars. I showed him a costume for a waiter at Longuini's Italian Cuisine *cough*, then proceeded to debate with him over which of rob zombie's songs start with a girl moaning (about 3 that we could find, actually). Then we watched "We now pronounce you Chuck and Larry" Funny movie, I thought it was going to be stupid, but it pulled through. Seeing that nice ass and those... bouncy... round..... tits...
may have had something to do with it. So yeah, Hott. And also, Painfully reminding of what it's like to feel a woman's body. Gah!
Oh right, The movie ended. We debated over who hates being without drinks at home more, and I left. Here I am now!... no wait, When I got home before I entered the house I pissed in the backyard, and now here I am!
Last weekend was a complete work overhaul. Tax free weekend down here in Dallas, and being a Cashier at a store with shoes, clothing, sports gear, and other shit; It was quite a chore to maintain a kind demeanor. Especially if you take into factor how much people piss me off, oh well, spilt milk.
The week went by pretty mediocre-ish. I met with my recruiter Monday and we drove down to the Dallas county civil court to do a background check on me. Came up clear. He assigned me a pretty minuscule task, get two letters of recommendation from non-family members. I had my ex-girlfriends mom type one out and fax it to him, It doesn't seem he ever got it soooo.... I got my neighbor to type one out, it's on my desk right now. I went to a friends house and asked his dad to make one, he's supposed to call me to pick it up sometime.
The rest of the week was just work and bullshit, till Friday. Friday was my day off, Friday was payday. Friday was the day I got on craigslist and bought a compound bow for $75. Then I met up with my redneck buddy, everyone calls him cowboy. He's full of shit, but that's another story. I was about to leave his house on the premises of getting a haircut, then he decided he needed one too and drove me to a place around the corner he saw. $25 dollar haircut ftw? Neg, The boobies were nice, the scalp massage was nice, the shampoo was tingly. But for $25 dollars the boobies needed to be shirtless at least, and a phone number wouldn't have been all that bad either.
Exit Friday; Enter stage left, Saturday. Woke up at 7am sharp like I was supposed to, hit the snooze button twice. Then I shut off my alarm clock and slept in to 9:18 (I was supposed to be at work at 9), Got a call from work not too long after I woke up saying I was supposed to be at work at 9 and wanting to know if I was coming in at all. All I could say was "Yep, I know, I'm coming NOW! *click*" I got there like 15 minutes later, counted my till, and began the 6 hours of pure costumer interaction (joi). I was scheduled to have a lunch at like noon, but the genius I am I slept in and in doing so, Didn't make enough hours to qualify for a lunch break. I still got all the hours I would have gotten, It was just torture not being able to break for food, lol.
Got off work at 4, drove to taco bell and wolfed down a quesadilla faster than you can properly say "Thirst Surge" 3x fast. Try it. Then I drove home, got showered, sat on my bed for about 15 minutes in the nude, then I got dressed and argued with myself over whether it would be wise to go back up to work and ask my coworker if she wants to grab some chow after her shift. I wound up going to the Galleria mall and visiting my friend Ash.... After I sprayed myself in the eye with axe on accident. Fucking stung! After meeting up with her, I walked around the mall on my own for about an hour and a half. Preying on single women (whom I haven't the balls to confront and ask out)... so I guess I window shopped for an hour and a half? I think my masculinity meter went down 5 notches.
It was drawing close to 9 when I left the mall, I went to burger king, Got myself a juicy burger coated with cheese and bacon and went to Cowboy's house to chill. I drew a penis on his arm (ftw), a drunk guy swirved down the street in a bigass truck and almost hit both of our cars. I showed him a costume for a waiter at Longuini's Italian Cuisine *cough*, then proceeded to debate with him over which of rob zombie's songs start with a girl moaning (about 3 that we could find, actually). Then we watched "We now pronounce you Chuck and Larry" Funny movie, I thought it was going to be stupid, but it pulled through. Seeing that nice ass and those... bouncy... round..... tits...
may have had something to do with it. So yeah, Hott. And also, Painfully reminding of what it's like to feel a woman's body. Gah!Oh right, The movie ended. We debated over who hates being without drinks at home more, and I left. Here I am now!... no wait, When I got home before I entered the house I pissed in the backyard, and now here I am!
Condom Sense...
So this is my 4th time applying for a job there. Maybe they'll give me a job this time. @.@
First time I applied, I was 17 and not old enough
Second time, was with Matt.
Third time, I walked in and filled out an application, only to find out they had already hired everyone they would be hiring.
This time, I was out driving around randomly and trying to think of something to do. I thought about going to a tattoo parlor and looking at tree tattoos, getting some ideas for mine. Decided against that, but I had the thought to go to condom sense. I have no money and I like going there, why not fill out an application? I get there and there's a sign on the door saying that they're hiring.
Coincidence?
During my lunch break at work today, I went to the Halloween store that's opening in Lewisville. They're not open yet but they had a sign on the door saying they're looking for managers and employees, with a number to call. I called. Maybe they'll call back?
So this is my 4th time applying for a job there. Maybe they'll give me a job this time. @.@
First time I applied, I was 17 and not old enough
Second time, was with Matt.
Third time, I walked in and filled out an application, only to find out they had already hired everyone they would be hiring.
This time, I was out driving around randomly and trying to think of something to do. I thought about going to a tattoo parlor and looking at tree tattoos, getting some ideas for mine. Decided against that, but I had the thought to go to condom sense. I have no money and I like going there, why not fill out an application? I get there and there's a sign on the door saying that they're hiring.
Coincidence?
During my lunch break at work today, I went to the Halloween store that's opening in Lewisville. They're not open yet but they had a sign on the door saying they're looking for managers and employees, with a number to call. I called. Maybe they'll call back?
Update on me;
I'm poor, I had to beg a friend to give me food at his work, I'm not the slightest bit tired, and I have to be at the retail store I work for at 10am to work 8 hours behind a cash register for tax free weekend. I'm feeling anxious, restless, horny, confused, pumped, etc all at the same time.
I wanna talk to someone, I want to give people advice and have people look up to me with respect as a knowledgeable and experienced person that can still have a good time.
I'm "dating" someone I have no feelings for what-so-ever. I put dating in quotations because since the dating began, I haven't seen her and I rarely talk to her. Our conversations don't carry any momentum, it's like the two of us are on different wave lengths. The only person I think I could actually date and be into the relationship on a physical and emotional level with; I can't convince to get on the phone with me, nor meet me in person anywhere. I rarely get to speak to her anymore. Things about her are so wonderful and yet so terrible. I want to make her mine and yet at the same time I'm not ready for what she needs from me. I wish her the best, as the girl that got away, even though she hasn't gone anywhere. I sincerely hope she doesn't turn out to be the girl who truly did get away.
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I'm poor, I had to beg a friend to give me food at his work, I'm not the slightest bit tired, and I have to be at the retail store I work for at 10am to work 8 hours behind a cash register for tax free weekend. I'm feeling anxious, restless, horny, confused, pumped, etc all at the same time.
I wanna talk to someone, I want to give people advice and have people look up to me with respect as a knowledgeable and experienced person that can still have a good time.
I'm "dating" someone I have no feelings for what-so-ever. I put dating in quotations because since the dating began, I haven't seen her and I rarely talk to her. Our conversations don't carry any momentum, it's like the two of us are on different wave lengths. The only person I think I could actually date and be into the relationship on a physical and emotional level with; I can't convince to get on the phone with me, nor meet me in person anywhere. I rarely get to speak to her anymore. Things about her are so wonderful and yet so terrible. I want to make her mine and yet at the same time I'm not ready for what she needs from me. I wish her the best, as the girl that got away, even though she hasn't gone anywhere. I sincerely hope she doesn't turn out to be the girl who truly did get away.
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I got a job at Academy sports and outdoors, They have me set up as a cashier. I'm only working there as a temporary employee since they need people for tax free weekend, they *might* keep me after the weekend but it's in limbo. In preparation, I applied for a job at party city today. They'll be needing employees for the Halloween season. I ran into an old friend there, she looks even sexier now than she did when we were in high school a couple months ago. Too bad she's a lesbian, I wonder if she'd give a guy a chance :/
Oh, spoke to my recruiter today/yesterday, whatev. If the lead recruiter guy sees the charges I had placed on me 6 years ago significant, All the jobs I wanted in the military in the first place will be unavailable to me. I wasn't convicted of anything, the charges were dropped, but it can still prevent from being a military policeman, a fireman, a combat arms technician, or special forces. This REALLY sucks, if I can't get one of those jobs I'm going to stop filing paperwork and call it quits. Find a REAL job and go to college or something, yeesh 
.
Oh, so that camping trip I was throwing for all my friends to go to backfired, only 3 people other than myself showed up who were planning on going, and I picked up an extra friend to go with. We wound up eating hot dogs all weekend, and it was so hot I literally sweated away 6lbs. Seriously, I was 6 lbs lighter weighing myself nude AFTER I got back than I did before I left for the trip. Make matters worse, two of the people bailed after the first night. Big babies 
Things are here AND there for me it seems, though I'd say its more there than here. I've got a job and I should be happy, but everyday I remember what it's like to be in love and it kills me because I'm not. Then the crushing new about the air force, and my big escape camping trip blew a gasket. Maybe one of those girls that promised me they'd call will actually call, but then that'd be something that could make me happy again. And we wouldn't want that.
I AM AN UNCLE!!!!! WHEEEEEEE
My sister gave birth to my nephew at 10:22AM this morning, by cesarean section.
He weighed 8 lbs 10oz and is 20 1/4" long. Shiza he was a big baby, almost as big as I was!
Apparently, he was too big to exit naturally and actually has scratches above his right eye where his head was hitting on my sisters pelvic bone.
He is such a gorgeous baby, full head of dark brown hair too
My sister gave birth to my nephew at 10:22AM this morning, by cesarean section.
He weighed 8 lbs 10oz and is 20 1/4" long. Shiza he was a big baby, almost as big as I was!
Apparently, he was too big to exit naturally and actually has scratches above his right eye where his head was hitting on my sisters pelvic bone.
He is such a gorgeous baby, full head of dark brown hair too
Posted this blog on my myspace, figured I'd post it here too.
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Yes, It's 5am. No, I do not usually stay up this late.
I was bored all night, had an involved chat with a friend's sister then went to entertain myself elsewhere. Well, I went to both a good and bad place to entertain myself.
I now have a lot to think about, I'm definitely grateful that the health problems I have aren't serious. Yet at the same time I'm very sorry and concerned for others, One of my biggest fears has always been being alone in the world and never being able to find someone. Obviously, that's not going to be the case with me, but then I'm not in any sort of hampering position that makes me need to act fast or lose the future that I want most. I feel like I've taken for granted my blessings...
Here are the things I want in life, simple as they are. If I get these things, I know I will have taken a great leap forward on my road to happiness.
I started to list things, But it occurred to me that no one reads my blogs anyways. So if you read this and get curious, bring it up. I'll tell you what I want in life, further down the road. Some of you think you know, but haven't the faintest clue.
I love all of my friends, as much as one friend can love another. At times I come off as a cold and heartless bastard, It's part of who I am. If I didn't have THAT side of me, there wouldn't be the thoughtful and caring side of me. Each side lives to balance and protect the other, as is the nature of everything. I'm not always happy about my destructive and ruthless side, believe you me. We all have our demons, And If you're reading this I hope you don't get close enough to my bad side to see how much of a monster I become.
EDIT: 5:49 AM ------------------------------------
I just got back from smoking my blackie and having time to think outside. It occurs to me that my goals recently have been a bit..... selfish. I hope someone can prove me wrong, tell me I'm justified and that what I'm doing with my life is okay. No, not the air force part. I have no regrets about joining the air force, I feel it's the door way to the future I want and I've already slid my foot into the doorway.
Should I be looking for someone to spend my life with right now? Do I have any right to do so? When I get out of the air force I want to have someone waiting there, ready to marry me. maybe marry me before I leave the air force, I don't know. I want kids and a wife and a house in a medium sized town with lakes and rivers nearby where I can spend my days doing my duties and then reaping the fruits of my labor.
Is it wrong for me to be looking for someone that'll be my loving wife and the mother of my children? Is this wrong and selfish? If I find someone now, They will go through incredible amounts of stress, and all I can offer them is hope. Hope that I'm the one who will light their world on fire and make everything okay again.
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Yes, It's 5am. No, I do not usually stay up this late.
I was bored all night, had an involved chat with a friend's sister then went to entertain myself elsewhere. Well, I went to both a good and bad place to entertain myself.
I now have a lot to think about, I'm definitely grateful that the health problems I have aren't serious. Yet at the same time I'm very sorry and concerned for others, One of my biggest fears has always been being alone in the world and never being able to find someone. Obviously, that's not going to be the case with me, but then I'm not in any sort of hampering position that makes me need to act fast or lose the future that I want most. I feel like I've taken for granted my blessings...
Here are the things I want in life, simple as they are. If I get these things, I know I will have taken a great leap forward on my road to happiness.
I started to list things, But it occurred to me that no one reads my blogs anyways. So if you read this and get curious, bring it up. I'll tell you what I want in life, further down the road. Some of you think you know, but haven't the faintest clue.
I love all of my friends, as much as one friend can love another. At times I come off as a cold and heartless bastard, It's part of who I am. If I didn't have THAT side of me, there wouldn't be the thoughtful and caring side of me. Each side lives to balance and protect the other, as is the nature of everything. I'm not always happy about my destructive and ruthless side, believe you me. We all have our demons, And If you're reading this I hope you don't get close enough to my bad side to see how much of a monster I become.
EDIT: 5:49 AM ------------------------------------
I just got back from smoking my blackie and having time to think outside. It occurs to me that my goals recently have been a bit..... selfish. I hope someone can prove me wrong, tell me I'm justified and that what I'm doing with my life is okay. No, not the air force part. I have no regrets about joining the air force, I feel it's the door way to the future I want and I've already slid my foot into the doorway.
Should I be looking for someone to spend my life with right now? Do I have any right to do so? When I get out of the air force I want to have someone waiting there, ready to marry me. maybe marry me before I leave the air force, I don't know. I want kids and a wife and a house in a medium sized town with lakes and rivers nearby where I can spend my days doing my duties and then reaping the fruits of my labor.
Is it wrong for me to be looking for someone that'll be my loving wife and the mother of my children? Is this wrong and selfish? If I find someone now, They will go through incredible amounts of stress, and all I can offer them is hope. Hope that I'm the one who will light their world on fire and make everything okay again.
Hurray for first blogs!
Lots of stuff going on for me.
I'vegot my military ASVAB tomorrow morning so I've been studying since I woke up, an interview monday, a camping trip the weekend after this, another camping trip 2 weeks after that with SGDFW. I've got to save up some cash for all these camping trips all while making sure I've got some cash for spending randomly. Oh woe to thee! Life's been an asshole with IBS all summer, things are starting to look up and I'm having fun again. Things actually couldn't be better for me right now. Well, I could use a new hood on my car, the check engine light keeps coming on, It wouldn't hurt to have money, it'd be nice to see someone in person (cough), and a job wouldn't hurt either, but who am I to be picky? Everything has been terrific!
Lots of stuff going on for me.
I'vegot my military ASVAB tomorrow morning so I've been studying since I woke up, an interview monday, a camping trip the weekend after this, another camping trip 2 weeks after that with SGDFW. I've got to save up some cash for all these camping trips all while making sure I've got some cash for spending randomly. Oh woe to thee! Life's been an asshole with IBS all summer, things are starting to look up and I'm having fun again. Things actually couldn't be better for me right now. Well, I could use a new hood on my car, the check engine light keeps coming on, It wouldn't hurt to have money, it'd be nice to see someone in person (cough), and a job wouldn't hurt either, but who am I to be picky? Everything has been terrific!
