Bitching has concluded... Sorry about that... Been a rough month but you know what?! C'est la vie!!! Life moves on and I will still love life no matter what!!! Hope everyone has an epic Monday!!!

So yesterday I was begged by this girl that stood me up for a second chance. Had something planned today... on fucking fathers day no less... at 430... here it is 530. No word from her... stood up by the same bitch two days in a row!!! I do not call women bitches unless they are deserving of it... she fucking earned it! I feel lower than fucking dirt right now... Why beg me for a second chance?! I am the example... no the rule for Nice guys finish last!!! I am completely and utterly crushed! I have never been stood up by anyone until now and this bitch does it twice. I am done... no more trying... no more looking... I rather be single for the rest of my god damn life then feel like this... What a horrible month! Hope everyone elses fathers day doesn't suck ass like mine does!!!!

Fucking really?! One girl stops talking to me after taking two different trips to Denver to visit her. Now I get stood up for a lunch date!! I have my boys so had to get a baby sitter for them and everything. Fuck this shit! I'm done trying!

It's been almost a week straight of this insomnia... Up until at least 3 a.m. and then wake up with my boys at 7:30... This time awake in the quiet makes my mind wander. I over think life and love and the lack there of on the last one... I miss having someone to spend my evenings with when my boys go to sleep... I wait, wait for the one to make it worth not being single... Is she out there?! I don't know but I know that no matter what happens in this life I will stay positive, learn from my mistakes, love life and and always remember that everything that's happened in my life... No matter how fucked up has brought me to this point in life and made me who and what I am today... I am beyond happy with who I am and await the special someone to come along that will love me for who and what I am! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!

So chicks in my town are Fucking nuts!!! So why does all the ones that I could see trying a relationship with have to live so far away? I've never been one to go for the long distance thing but I guess if I found someone worth trying a relationship long distance I would. Laying in bed alone... As always... The thought of fuck buddies or one night stands sicken me at this point. I want something that's real... Someone that's real... I want something to last! Time has brought me to a greater understanding of life, love and relationships... The hardest part is waiting!

Hope fills my dreams and life carries on. This sweet illusions I see is merely anything but. I carry myself through the woes of life, seeking someone to ease my strife. Alone I must carry my burden, pickup myself and walk ahead. A hand for those that have fallen, a heart for those left broken, a smile for those unhappy. Share your love and beauty with the world and the life's sweet mysteries will be revealed.

Ramblings of myself. Writing soothes my soul!
Have an epic day everyone!

Day 4 of insomnia. Nothing like going to bed after 3 am and getting up at 730 am. I am very happy right now though! For no other reason then I love myself and love my boys! I don't need someone to be happy but one day would like to be happy with someone!

Sometimes it sucks when people are right, sometimes it's a relief. The girl I wasted my time in Denver with has another guy. At least now I know why she would just stop talking to me. I'm actually relieved to know why now. One of these days I will find someone that will appreciate me. I just have to keep being me and one day I will find someone nice that likes me for me. Till that day I will keep on keeping on. Have a great day everyone!

Ok... I said I was going to be MIA for a little bit but apparently I have nowhere else to blog about this!... So I spent half the night talking to my room mate I never really knew that well. Safe to say now I am appalled by what I heard! He's a nice guy now but he use to be an asshole. I now know how to get with almost any hot chick... However, at what cost? Yes I am a good guy, yes I will treat my women like a fucking god and yes I can't be any other way... So would it really befit me to change everything I am to hook up with hot chicks? Fuck no!!! If someone doesn't like me for me then they can fuck off!!! I will be nice to everyone I meet, I will treat my girl(if I ever find one) like a queen and I will be this way till the day I die! If you can't accept me for who and what I am then fuck you!!! Thank you, that is all!

I might be MIA from here for a little while... I think I need time to get my head straight, so peace, love and whatever else floats your boat!