sooooo.... I was going to make a video or vlog if you will b/c I didn't feel like typing anything so I started to and realized how stupid I feel recording myself 
lol
But I'll probably do one soon I'm sure once I do I'll feel more comfortable doing so.
Plus its not like anyone really sees these things anyways.
I forgot to tell y'all I got a new tattoo
His name is Gunther, well his full name is Sir Captain Gunther Featherface. I love him.
I've also gauged my ears out to a size 0
I like it.
there has been a lot and I mean A LOT of drama in my life recently I hate it. it makes me feel like shiitake mushrooms... like hardcore!
I wish I didn't care so much but I just be a stupid girl
I have a mission for you if you choose to accept it:
lol But I'll probably do one soon I'm sure once I do I'll feel more comfortable doing so.
Plus its not like anyone really sees these things anyways.
I forgot to tell y'all I got a new tattoo
His name is Gunther, well his full name is Sir Captain Gunther Featherface. I love him.
I've also gauged my ears out to a size 0
I like it.
there has been a lot and I mean A LOT of drama in my life recently I hate it. it makes me feel like shiitake mushrooms... like hardcore!
I wish I didn't care so much but I just be a stupid girl
I have a mission for you if you choose to accept it:
if you have accepted your mission I'll accept mine by trying to get more confident about vloging
happy dads day to all the dads
BYE!!!!!!
today has been a very strange and emotional day 
I'll have to tell you about it sometime soon
I'll have to tell you about it sometime soon
why are we constantly looking towards our past instead of looking forward?
I mean Its ok to revisit the past and learn from it but I think it becomes a problem when we dwell on the past, weather it be the regrets or the good times. Although I guess if you have nothing to look forward to there really isn't much of a point is there?
anywho, enough of that bull shit.
I am in desperate need of some new clothes. I wish I didn't care about how I look so much.
I wish I could just wear clothes b/c they are cute and not worry about how I look in them
well that is all for nooooow
later
I mean Its ok to revisit the past and learn from it but I think it becomes a problem when we dwell on the past, weather it be the regrets or the good times. Although I guess if you have nothing to look forward to there really isn't much of a point is there?
anywho, enough of that bull shit.
I am in desperate need of some new clothes. I wish I didn't care about how I look so much.
I wish I could just wear clothes b/c they are cute and not worry about how I look in them
well that is all for nooooow
later
soooooo.... I haven't been on here in quite some time, I'm super glad I logged on today to see Rourke's set on the front page... OMG! she is AMAZING!!!!!!!
anywho everything has been going pretty good with me in case you were wondering. 2 weeks ago I was out in Oregon visiting my kids bc they were on spring break. we had a kick ass time.
It was weird seeing my husband b/c I haven't seen him since I left him back in September. but he seems to be doing good. I met his g/f and she seems nice. the complete opposite form me but nice non the less.
tonight my boyfriend and I are going bowling.... again..... lol it seems to be all he wants to do, not that I'm complaining b/c I do like to go bowling.
well... thats about it hope y'all are doing swell
anywho everything has been going pretty good with me in case you were wondering. 2 weeks ago I was out in Oregon visiting my kids bc they were on spring break. we had a kick ass time.
It was weird seeing my husband b/c I haven't seen him since I left him back in September. but he seems to be doing good. I met his g/f and she seems nice. the complete opposite form me but nice non the less.
tonight my boyfriend and I are going bowling.... again..... lol it seems to be all he wants to do, not that I'm complaining b/c I do like to go bowling.
well... thats about it hope y'all are doing swell
I don't know whats wrong with me lately I've been a super jealous girlfriend and I hate it. I try not to let it show but every once in a while it creeps out. grrrrrrr....
the reason why I hate it so much is I see other jealous bitchy chicks and I think its very unattractive, but I just can't seem to help it.
I blame my birth control lol
on another note, I wanna get my septum pierced so bad, but, I can't have it from work. if only I could some how hide it while im in the office it would be all good because I'm on route most of the day
*sigh* maybe some day.......
the reason why I hate it so much is I see other jealous bitchy chicks and I think its very unattractive, but I just can't seem to help it.
I blame my birth control lol
on another note, I wanna get my septum pierced so bad, but, I can't have it from work. if only I could some how hide it while im in the office it would be all good because I'm on route most of the day
*sigh* maybe some day.......
thank you to everyone who responded to my last blog it gave me some good in site and I appreciate it.
I'm not gonna lie, life has worn me out lately. my kids who are 4 and 8 are living with their dad in Oregon right now. they left on December 26th and I miss them like crazy. I talk to them on the phone and skype every now and then but they don't usually have much to say on the phone when I call so they usually aren't very long conversations.
I'm living with my boyfriend now and we are still working through some things.
He sees his ex all the time b/c they work together and they have a son together so he'll go over their house to visit a few times a week. but I get super jealous, and I've never been like that before with anyone.
I guess I kinda have the right to be, he cheated on her with me and he did confess to me even after he moved in that he was having sex with her. I know its hypocritical, but it hurt me so bad. he said that he isn't anymore b/c he doesn't want to lose me, but he just told me today that she asked him if they were going to have sex tonight. of course he told me he wouldn't but he is over there right now and of course I'm going crazy thinking about it.
I really really want to trust him but its kinda hard when we started this relationship cheating on our spouses and he already betrayed my trust once.
and he has also express fear that I may cheat on him or leave him.
I love him so much and I do believe him when he tells me he loves me, its just hard to trust... well, anyone anymore.
I actually trust him more then I trust his ex.
lately she has become pretty psycho about wanting him back, which is just pushing him away from her more. secretly I'm extremely happy about this
there have been other shenanigans going down in my life but this blog is long enough and most of you probably didn't even make it this far so I'll save the other stuff for a later date.
later
I'm not gonna lie, life has worn me out lately. my kids who are 4 and 8 are living with their dad in Oregon right now. they left on December 26th and I miss them like crazy. I talk to them on the phone and skype every now and then but they don't usually have much to say on the phone when I call so they usually aren't very long conversations.
I'm living with my boyfriend now and we are still working through some things.
He sees his ex all the time b/c they work together and they have a son together so he'll go over their house to visit a few times a week. but I get super jealous, and I've never been like that before with anyone.
I guess I kinda have the right to be, he cheated on her with me and he did confess to me even after he moved in that he was having sex with her. I know its hypocritical, but it hurt me so bad. he said that he isn't anymore b/c he doesn't want to lose me, but he just told me today that she asked him if they were going to have sex tonight. of course he told me he wouldn't but he is over there right now and of course I'm going crazy thinking about it.
I really really want to trust him but its kinda hard when we started this relationship cheating on our spouses and he already betrayed my trust once.
and he has also express fear that I may cheat on him or leave him.
I love him so much and I do believe him when he tells me he loves me, its just hard to trust... well, anyone anymore.
I actually trust him more then I trust his ex.
lately she has become pretty psycho about wanting him back, which is just pushing him away from her more. secretly I'm extremely happy about this
there have been other shenanigans going down in my life but this blog is long enough and most of you probably didn't even make it this far so I'll save the other stuff for a later date.
later
Question:
If you really love someone, would you change something about yourself just to be with them? well not necessarily to be with them but to appease them?
if yes, how much change is too much to where its not worth giving up yourself completely just to be with that person?
just been thinking a lot about this stuff recently and wondered what other people thought.
thanks
If you really love someone, would you change something about yourself just to be with them? well not necessarily to be with them but to appease them?
if yes, how much change is too much to where its not worth giving up yourself completely just to be with that person?
just been thinking a lot about this stuff recently and wondered what other people thought.
thanks
Hi everyone!
so sorry I've been lacking in the blog department.
anywho, things seem to be going pretty good, sure I still feel shitty about somethings I've done and people I've hurt recently but you can't make grilled cheese without cutting some cheese right?
I mean in the grand scheme of things I can't dwell on such things. other people shouldn't either. I'm a firm believer of 'it is what it is' which has worked out for me pretty well.
I am pretty stress free and things seem to work out in my favor a lot of the time. so I really have nothing to complain about.
the only thing I really ever seem to stress about is money, or the lack of. but right now I seem to be doing pretty good.
one thing that is very awkward for me is asking my boyfriend (who is living in my apartment) for money.
He asks me every now and then if he needs to pay for anything but I keep telling him no. although it would be nice.
I'm not saying he hasn't paid for anything he puts gas in my car sometimes and gave me $100 for, well, I don't know..... sex? lol ok probably not.
but I just feel weird having him give me money.
I guess I'm still insecure and feel like I need to make sure I can do this on my own just in case he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore, since we are both technically still married to other people and his wife lives like 15mins away and he still sees her quite a bit.
any who enough of my stupid drama or whatever lol
I hope everyone is doing good I need to hang out with my peoples soon but I have a feeling it wont be until after the holidays. its always go go go this time of year
love y'all!
so sorry I've been lacking in the blog department.
anywho, things seem to be going pretty good, sure I still feel shitty about somethings I've done and people I've hurt recently but you can't make grilled cheese without cutting some cheese right?
I mean in the grand scheme of things I can't dwell on such things. other people shouldn't either. I'm a firm believer of 'it is what it is' which has worked out for me pretty well.
I am pretty stress free and things seem to work out in my favor a lot of the time. so I really have nothing to complain about.
the only thing I really ever seem to stress about is money, or the lack of. but right now I seem to be doing pretty good.
one thing that is very awkward for me is asking my boyfriend (who is living in my apartment) for money.
He asks me every now and then if he needs to pay for anything but I keep telling him no. although it would be nice.
I'm not saying he hasn't paid for anything he puts gas in my car sometimes and gave me $100 for, well, I don't know..... sex? lol ok probably not.
but I just feel weird having him give me money.
I guess I'm still insecure and feel like I need to make sure I can do this on my own just in case he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore, since we are both technically still married to other people and his wife lives like 15mins away and he still sees her quite a bit.
any who enough of my stupid drama or whatever lol
I hope everyone is doing good I need to hang out with my peoples soon but I have a feeling it wont be until after the holidays. its always go go go this time of year
love y'all!
