"The first mistress!
The golden hair, azure eyes, the flower of flesh,
And among the smell of bodies and young ones,
Spontaneity timid caresses!
...
If only that I am now gloomy and alone
Gloomy and hopeless, more glossy than an ancestor
Such as a poor orphan and no older sister. "
"Les premières maîtresses!
L'or des cheveux, l'azur des yeux, la fleur des chairs,
Et puis, parmi l'odeur des corps jeunes et chers,
La spontanéité craintive des caresses!
...
Si que me voilà seul à présent, morne et seul,
Morne et désespéré, plus glacé qu'un aïeul,
Et tel qu'un orphelin pauvre sans soeur aînée."
Verlaine, Voeu
The golden hair, azure eyes, the flower of flesh,
And among the smell of bodies and young ones,
Spontaneity timid caresses!
...
If only that I am now gloomy and alone
Gloomy and hopeless, more glossy than an ancestor
Such as a poor orphan and no older sister. "
"Les premières maîtresses!
L'or des cheveux, l'azur des yeux, la fleur des chairs,
Et puis, parmi l'odeur des corps jeunes et chers,
La spontanéité craintive des caresses!
...
Si que me voilà seul à présent, morne et seul,
Morne et désespéré, plus glacé qu'un aïeul,
Et tel qu'un orphelin pauvre sans soeur aînée."
Verlaine, Voeu
"My desire created under roofs of gold,
Among the perfumes, the sound of music,
Harems of endless, physical paradise!
Today, quieter but no less ardent,
But knowing the life and must be folded,
I had to restrain my beautiful insanity
Without resign myself too though. "
"Mon désir créait sous des toits en or,
Parmi les parfums, au son des musiques,
Des harems sans fin, paradis physiques!
Aujourd'hui, plus calme et non moins ardent,
Mais sachant la vie et qu'il faut qu'on plie,
J'ai dû réfréner ma belle folie,
Sans me résigner par trop cependant."
Verlaine
Among the perfumes, the sound of music,
Harems of endless, physical paradise!
Today, quieter but no less ardent,
But knowing the life and must be folded,
I had to restrain my beautiful insanity
Without resign myself too though. "
"Mon désir créait sous des toits en or,
Parmi les parfums, au son des musiques,
Des harems sans fin, paradis physiques!
Aujourd'hui, plus calme et non moins ardent,
Mais sachant la vie et qu'il faut qu'on plie,
J'ai dû réfréner ma belle folie,
Sans me résigner par trop cependant."
Verlaine
"There is no honest men, or at least they are only in respect of scoundrels"
"Il n'y a pas d'hommes honnêtes; ou du moins ils ne le sont que relativement aux crapules"
"Autumn, the autumn wonderful blended its gold and purple the latest greens remained high, as if drops of molten sun had cast from heaven in the thickness of woods"
"L'automne, l'automne merveilleux, mêlait son or et sa pourpre aux dernières verdures restées vives, comme si des gouttes de soleil fondu avaient coulé du ciel dans l'épaisseur des bois"
"Blood ties do not exist without the constant love, sacred, every day"
"Les liens du sang n'existent pas sans l'affection constante, sacrée, de chaque jour"
"They all subsisted frugally on soup, potatoes and fresh air"
"Tout cela vivait péniblement de soupe, de pommes de terre et de grand air"
"He lived, they said, separated from his wife, because of physical weakness, that Ms. could not forgive him. He was a fat little man, bald, short arms, legs, neck, nose, everything. "
"Il vivait, disait-on, séparé de sa femme, pour cause de faiblesse physique, que Madame ne lui pardonnait point. C'était un gros petit homme, chauve, court de bras, de jambes, de cou, de nez, de tout".
"It was autumn, the season red. The leaves fluttered to the turf like flocks of birds. One felt hanging in the air smells of damp earth, earth naked, as we feel the smell of bare flesh when falling, after the ball, the dress of a woman. "
"C'était l'automne, la saison rousse. Les feuilles voltigeaient sur les gazons comme des volées d'oiseaux. On sentait traîner dans l'air des odeurs de terre humide, de terre dévêtue, comme on sent une odeur de chair nue, quand tombe, après le bal, la robe d'une femme."
"Consider also that almost every woman we call public have one or two children, they ignore the father, children caught in the accident of their hugs to ten or twenty francs. In every profession there is the share of profits and losses ".
"Songez en outre que presque toutes les femmes que nous appelons publiques possèdent un ou deux enfants dont elles ignorent le père, enfants attrapés dans le hasard de leurs étreintes à dix ou vingt francs. Dans tout métier on fait la part des profits et des pertes."
Maupassant, Contes de la bécasse
"Il n'y a pas d'hommes honnêtes; ou du moins ils ne le sont que relativement aux crapules"
"Autumn, the autumn wonderful blended its gold and purple the latest greens remained high, as if drops of molten sun had cast from heaven in the thickness of woods"
"L'automne, l'automne merveilleux, mêlait son or et sa pourpre aux dernières verdures restées vives, comme si des gouttes de soleil fondu avaient coulé du ciel dans l'épaisseur des bois"
"Blood ties do not exist without the constant love, sacred, every day"
"Les liens du sang n'existent pas sans l'affection constante, sacrée, de chaque jour"
"They all subsisted frugally on soup, potatoes and fresh air"
"Tout cela vivait péniblement de soupe, de pommes de terre et de grand air"
"He lived, they said, separated from his wife, because of physical weakness, that Ms. could not forgive him. He was a fat little man, bald, short arms, legs, neck, nose, everything. "
"Il vivait, disait-on, séparé de sa femme, pour cause de faiblesse physique, que Madame ne lui pardonnait point. C'était un gros petit homme, chauve, court de bras, de jambes, de cou, de nez, de tout".
"It was autumn, the season red. The leaves fluttered to the turf like flocks of birds. One felt hanging in the air smells of damp earth, earth naked, as we feel the smell of bare flesh when falling, after the ball, the dress of a woman. "
"C'était l'automne, la saison rousse. Les feuilles voltigeaient sur les gazons comme des volées d'oiseaux. On sentait traîner dans l'air des odeurs de terre humide, de terre dévêtue, comme on sent une odeur de chair nue, quand tombe, après le bal, la robe d'une femme."
"Consider also that almost every woman we call public have one or two children, they ignore the father, children caught in the accident of their hugs to ten or twenty francs. In every profession there is the share of profits and losses ".
"Songez en outre que presque toutes les femmes que nous appelons publiques possèdent un ou deux enfants dont elles ignorent le père, enfants attrapés dans le hasard de leurs étreintes à dix ou vingt francs. Dans tout métier on fait la part des profits et des pertes."
Maupassant, Contes de la bécasse
"Between each dish there was a hole, the hole Norman, with a glass of brandy who threw the fire into the body and madness in the mind."
"Entre chaque plat on faisait un trou, le trou normand, avec un verre d'eau-de-vie qui jetait du feu dans le corps et de la folie dans les têtes."
"Then he had to drink the first glass of brandy of rincette, the second push of rincette, and the third kick in the ass"
"Puis il lui fallut boire le premier verre d'eau-de-vie de la rincette, le second du pousse-rincette, et le troisième du coup-de-pied-au-cul"
"Women, whose opinion was based on poetry rather than on observation, maintained that love, true love, best love, could not come only once a mortal, that it was like thunderbolt, this love, and one heart touched by it then remained so empty, ravaged, burned, no other strong feeling, even no dreams, there could form again. "
"Les femmes, dont l'opinion s'appuyait sur la poésie bien plus que sur l'observation, affirmaient que l'amour, l'amour vrai, le grand amour, ne pouvait tomber qu'une fois sur un mortel, qu'il était semblable à la foudre, cet amour, et qu'un coeur touché par lui demeurait ensuite tellement vidé, ravagé, incendié, qu'aucun autre sentiment puissant, même aucun rêve, n'y pouvait germer de nouveau."
Maupassant, Contes de la Bécasse
"Entre chaque plat on faisait un trou, le trou normand, avec un verre d'eau-de-vie qui jetait du feu dans le corps et de la folie dans les têtes."
"Then he had to drink the first glass of brandy of rincette, the second push of rincette, and the third kick in the ass"
"Puis il lui fallut boire le premier verre d'eau-de-vie de la rincette, le second du pousse-rincette, et le troisième du coup-de-pied-au-cul"
"Women, whose opinion was based on poetry rather than on observation, maintained that love, true love, best love, could not come only once a mortal, that it was like thunderbolt, this love, and one heart touched by it then remained so empty, ravaged, burned, no other strong feeling, even no dreams, there could form again. "
"Les femmes, dont l'opinion s'appuyait sur la poésie bien plus que sur l'observation, affirmaient que l'amour, l'amour vrai, le grand amour, ne pouvait tomber qu'une fois sur un mortel, qu'il était semblable à la foudre, cet amour, et qu'un coeur touché par lui demeurait ensuite tellement vidé, ravagé, incendié, qu'aucun autre sentiment puissant, même aucun rêve, n'y pouvait germer de nouveau."
Maupassant, Contes de la Bécasse
"Between desire and action, sir, there is room for respect"
"Entre le désir et l'action, monsieur, il y a place pour le respect"
Maupassant
"Entre le désir et l'action, monsieur, il y a place pour le respect"
Maupassant
A few days after this exchange of text messages to wish a happy new year, I received an invitation card to attend a cocktail to celebrate the new year. This appetizer buffet supper to be held in her study physiotherapist. Unfortunately, I realized quickly that I would not be here this evening. Indeed, for my work, I have to go to another town and I didn't go in my town that night. Should I send her an email to thank her for her invitation and tell her that, given my work commitments, I don't think ahead. She then responds by telling me that if I come home too late, I'll be able to join her and her other guests in a restaurant not far from her home. I decided to respond positively to his invitation.
The day came when I finished my work, I hasten to return my car and go quickly in my city.
Arriving home, I put my things, I change and I go to her office. By the way, I put in my jacket pocket a small box of chocolate that I intend to offer! 
Arriving at her office, it was my surprise when I saw all those present! Indeed, there were so many people that had trouble agreeing about it. She greets me when I arrived and we exchange a few words. Ultimately, this will be the only exchange we have that night ... In fact, she doesn't stop to greet people, to exchange a few words and make sure everything goes well.
During the evening, I also funny meetings... So when I arrived, I met a lady who offered me to drink and serve me. At first, I think this person is the new colleague of M. In fact, it turns out that she was her mother. I realize then that her family (her parents and her brother) is present this evening.
The icing on the cake in the evening, a guy comes down and I quickly understand that he's her ex boyfriend! Ah!
I realize she has not completely turned the corner and she still has feelings for him. It shows in her attitude and the way she looks at him. Frankly, it makes me great strange to see this guy talk to the parents of M. I wonder if I can have a place in there ... After two hours talking with various people - including her father and brother - I leaves this evening with the head spinning (and not only due to alcohol). Of course, my little box of chocolates is always in my pocket. For fear of shame, I did not dare to offer! No! 
During the weekend, I go a few days with family and I talk to one of my sisters. She followed the story from the beginning and she told me frankly to drop. I have a little trouble myself to do when I send an SMS to my sweetheart to tell her that I had spent a good night's day before but I felt bad we were not able to talk a little more . Before the weekend, she replied by telling me we could meet again. I propose then to tell me when she wanted to see me. We fixed a date several days later.
The days before this meeting, it happened to me a dirty trick in my professional and intellectual situation. 5 years, I was working on a sociology thesis. Previous months, I finished the writing and I had to support the 1st February. But less than 15 days before the defense, a member of my jury to find that my work wasn't of sufficient quality to be sustained and therefore request that it be canceled. Blow ... Especially since it was impossible to correct my document because its flaws were too great or irreparable. So I had a strange week and my body was expressed in a strange way. The day before my appointment with M. I've talked to a psychologist friend. She told me that my body was telling me that I had to leave everything I had in me one way or another. It might be hard but, for my physical and mental health, we had to go through it.
So there I was Friday when I found one that changed my heart. After having recovered after work, we go to one of my favorite bars. The perfect setting for an intimate exchange. We first discuss various things of which the night she gave to her office. I learn something more about their history and their separation from her ex-boyfriend. I tell myself that, despite everything, I may have a chance ...
After a while, we come to talk about our different emotional situations. She said she is still single because she was slow to recover from her break but now she began to explore new relationships.
Having enough beating around the bush and not knowing where this was headed, I decided to come clean and tell her everything I had on the heart. I told her I loved her sincerely and explained that I don't often have such feelings for a person. I also told her that, certainly, I tended to idealize but I was ready to find hers flaws. I also told her that I understood she had suffered at the end of her previous relationship and I was ready to take my time and go at their own rhythm. I finally told her that all this might seem steep to tell her so but I could not hold and I wanted to do a long way with her.
During my monologue, she listened carefully and, honestly, she was the stars which shone in the eyes.
In the end, I told her that I didn't expect a definitive answer from her that night but I wished to know what it really by saying eyes in your eyes, what I felt for it and how I saw things for us both.
When I finished, she spoke again, telling me a little stunned by it all I'd said, but today she was ready to hear that kind of place. Some time ago she would have gone running to such a statement!
She didn't expect this and was a bit confused. She rebounds on what I had said in speaking of some of hers shortcomings. We laughed by comparing them to mine! She explained how she saw a relationship tinged with romanticism. She spoke of "charming story"! Even today, I think not having fully understood what it meant.
The evening ended and I accompanied her on a portion of the road. Upon leaving, we made us a kiss and I asked her to apologize if I had been uncomfortable with my statement (in fact I felt she was slightly uncomfortable with all this).
Later that evening, she sent me a text message thanking me for my honesty and wishing me good night.
Believe me bouncing off her idea of charming story, the following Tuesday, I sent flowers to her study physiotherapy. The flowers was accompanied by a sweet little note. I had no thanks, and no return on this flowers ...
I don't know what came over me then, but the next two weeks, I sent her flowers always accompanied by a note. I thought I played the romantic, but now I think I was super cumbersome!!!
I had no response to these new flowers. A few days after the third, I sent her a text message asking if I had not screwed up with these flowers. She later told me to stop to send it. I replied that I intended not to actually send her.
I left to spend some time and I sent her a message. With apologies again for being heavy by sending three bouquets of flowers, I asked her to redeem myself with an invitation to dinner or to any release of her choice. She didn't answer.
Later, a month after our last appointment, I called her on her cell phone. I fell once again on her answering machine. I left her a message when I told her I'd like to see her and talk to her about what I have told her earlier. Honestly, even if she didn't want me, I wish I had this discussion with her. I prefer to be discarded as waste rather than being ignored. Of course, she didn't reply to my message and do not recall. For me it was the last time I contacted her because I felt not having done enough to her.
Of course, I sent her a message, a month later, telling her that I was still thinking of her. No answer.
Finally, one day I crossed her in the street. I bike and I went to my work. She, she went out of her own. She was on the phone and I didn't dare stop and pause in order to discuss with her. It was May 6, Day of my first post on the blog of SG ...
Since nothing ... I still get carried away when I see in the distance a person like her. Came up, I realize that this is not it. But then I wonder what I would do if it was her ...
Sometimes I tell myself that I could go see her therapist's office but in reality, I don't think this is the right solution, if not look like a lunatic who harassed.
She returned me. It's crazy how it's hard to me out of my head. And our "no history" will mark something in my life. I wonder what would have happened if we were out together, but like nothing ever happened the way I wanted with it, all the movies that I can to remain free from roads.
By the way, "she" or "M." is called Manon.
The day came when I finished my work, I hasten to return my car and go quickly in my city.
Arriving home, I put my things, I change and I go to her office. By the way, I put in my jacket pocket a small box of chocolate that I intend to offer! Arriving at her office, it was my surprise when I saw all those present! Indeed, there were so many people that had trouble agreeing about it. She greets me when I arrived and we exchange a few words. Ultimately, this will be the only exchange we have that night ... In fact, she doesn't stop to greet people, to exchange a few words and make sure everything goes well.
During the evening, I also funny meetings... So when I arrived, I met a lady who offered me to drink and serve me. At first, I think this person is the new colleague of M. In fact, it turns out that she was her mother. I realize then that her family (her parents and her brother) is present this evening.
The icing on the cake in the evening, a guy comes down and I quickly understand that he's her ex boyfriend! Ah!
I realize she has not completely turned the corner and she still has feelings for him. It shows in her attitude and the way she looks at him. Frankly, it makes me great strange to see this guy talk to the parents of M. I wonder if I can have a place in there ... After two hours talking with various people - including her father and brother - I leaves this evening with the head spinning (and not only due to alcohol). Of course, my little box of chocolates is always in my pocket. For fear of shame, I did not dare to offer! No! During the weekend, I go a few days with family and I talk to one of my sisters. She followed the story from the beginning and she told me frankly to drop. I have a little trouble myself to do when I send an SMS to my sweetheart to tell her that I had spent a good night's day before but I felt bad we were not able to talk a little more . Before the weekend, she replied by telling me we could meet again. I propose then to tell me when she wanted to see me. We fixed a date several days later.
The days before this meeting, it happened to me a dirty trick in my professional and intellectual situation. 5 years, I was working on a sociology thesis. Previous months, I finished the writing and I had to support the 1st February. But less than 15 days before the defense, a member of my jury to find that my work wasn't of sufficient quality to be sustained and therefore request that it be canceled. Blow ... Especially since it was impossible to correct my document because its flaws were too great or irreparable.
So I had a strange week and my body was expressed in a strange way. The day before my appointment with M. I've talked to a psychologist friend. She told me that my body was telling me that I had to leave everything I had in me one way or another. It might be hard but, for my physical and mental health, we had to go through it.So there I was Friday when I found one that changed my heart. After having recovered after work, we go to one of my favorite bars. The perfect setting for an intimate exchange. We first discuss various things of which the night she gave to her office. I learn something more about their history and their separation from her ex-boyfriend. I tell myself that, despite everything, I may have a chance ...
After a while, we come to talk about our different emotional situations. She said she is still single because she was slow to recover from her break but now she began to explore new relationships.
Having enough beating around the bush and not knowing where this was headed, I decided to come clean and tell her everything I had on the heart. I told her I loved her sincerely and explained that I don't often have such feelings for a person. I also told her that, certainly, I tended to idealize but I was ready to find hers flaws. I also told her that I understood she had suffered at the end of her previous relationship and I was ready to take my time and go at their own rhythm. I finally told her that all this might seem steep to tell her so but I could not hold and I wanted to do a long way with her.
During my monologue, she listened carefully and, honestly, she was the stars which shone in the eyes.
In the end, I told her that I didn't expect a definitive answer from her that night but I wished to know what it really by saying eyes in your eyes, what I felt for it and how I saw things for us both.
When I finished, she spoke again, telling me a little stunned by it all I'd said, but today she was ready to hear that kind of place. Some time ago she would have gone running to such a statement!
She didn't expect this and was a bit confused. She rebounds on what I had said in speaking of some of hers shortcomings. We laughed by comparing them to mine! She explained how she saw a relationship tinged with romanticism. She spoke of "charming story"! Even today, I think not having fully understood what it meant.
The evening ended and I accompanied her on a portion of the road. Upon leaving, we made us a kiss and I asked her to apologize if I had been uncomfortable with my statement (in fact I felt she was slightly uncomfortable with all this).
Later that evening, she sent me a text message thanking me for my honesty and wishing me good night.
Believe me bouncing off her idea of charming story, the following Tuesday, I sent flowers to her study physiotherapy. The flowers was accompanied by a sweet little note. I had no thanks, and no return on this flowers ...
I don't know what came over me then, but the next two weeks, I sent her flowers always accompanied by a note. I thought I played the romantic, but now I think I was super cumbersome!!!
I had no response to these new flowers. A few days after the third, I sent her a text message asking if I had not screwed up with these flowers. She later told me to stop to send it. I replied that I intended not to actually send her.
I left to spend some time and I sent her a message. With apologies again for being heavy by sending three bouquets of flowers, I asked her to redeem myself with an invitation to dinner or to any release of her choice. She didn't answer.
Later, a month after our last appointment, I called her on her cell phone. I fell once again on her answering machine. I left her a message when I told her I'd like to see her and talk to her about what I have told her earlier. Honestly, even if she didn't want me, I wish I had this discussion with her. I prefer to be discarded as waste rather than being ignored. Of course, she didn't reply to my message and do not recall. For me it was the last time I contacted her because I felt not having done enough to her.
Of course, I sent her a message, a month later, telling her that I was still thinking of her. No answer.
Finally, one day I crossed her in the street. I bike and I went to my work. She, she went out of her own. She was on the phone and I didn't dare stop and pause in order to discuss with her. It was May 6, Day of my first post on the blog of SG ...
Since nothing ... I still get carried away when I see in the distance a person like her. Came up, I realize that this is not it. But then I wonder what I would do if it was her ...
Sometimes I tell myself that I could go see her therapist's office but in reality, I don't think this is the right solution, if not look like a lunatic who harassed.
She returned me. It's crazy how it's hard to me out of my head. And our "no history" will mark something in my life. I wonder what would have happened if we were out together, but like nothing ever happened the way I wanted with it, all the movies that I can to remain free from roads.
By the way, "she" or "M." is called Manon.
Well, come on, it's decided: I end with the story to turn (finally?) this page in my life.
Three weeks have passed since my mail when I said what I felt for her. I honestly did not expect answers from him ... and I preferred not to be.
Two days after returning from vacation, she says. Not to say what she thought of my statement or what it had done. No, she just says: "I received your mail." Argh! I felt faint while reading this. In fact, I was more returned only if it told me to go fuck with my feelings! Shit! What does that mean "I received your mail"? This upset thee? Thee that she hit? You laughed while reading it?
She also added: "I always your CD and I would like you to make them." Oh yes! I do not know if I've told this episode, but during one of our physio sessions, she became interested in the music I listen and she did not know. At the next meeting, I brought a selection of some of my CD representative of metal and industrial.
She told me to go to his office to retrieve them. Well, at first I did not want to go ... too afraid to see her again ... After a few days, I again took my courage in both hands and I went on a Friday night in her office. She was not there ... I returned the next morning, still not there ... I sent her a SMS saying that I spent two and to avoid a newcomer unsuccessful, she tells me when she wanted me to make sure it happens to be there.
A few days passed, no reply to my SMS. In late August, I sent her another email saying she could keep my CD; this is not a problem (which was true). She said this time saying it touched but she really wanted to make. We exchanged a bit to find a time to recover and this has led us in early October!
So happens that famous night, a Monday, where we agreed that I found in her office and that we would have a drink. When I arrived, she is radiant. That reassures me, because deep down, I not lead off. So we start in one of my favorite cafés. We discuss anything and everything, holidays, and I do not know how you get there, she began to tell me about her ex and their rupture.
In fact, she comes from another city and she came to live here to live with her boyfriend. Then she took over the office of a therapist retiring. But a few months after her arrival, she and her boyfriend split up abruptly. I never really knew why. It was very painful for her and she finished in the hole. Since then, it has been ten months then it goes up the hill slowly.
I confessed that to me a little odd that she told me especially after all that mail that I sent her three months ago. She nods, explaining that it was surprised and did not know how to react to my statement.
Later, we decided to go eat together. It is then a small Asian restaurant where there is no one-just the two of us and the boss who does the cooking. At the end of the evening, we left and, the time I get home, she sends me a sms telling me that she spent a great evening and we could put this when I wanted! I told her the next day that I too had spent a pleasant evening with her.
A few days later, I suggested she get together sometime. She agreed, but once again, times to find a date suitable for us both, we arrived in November. We decided to see us on Monday after the long weekend of Nov. 11. During this weekend, she sent me an SMS asking if we could not postpone the dating because she was very tired from the weekend and she thought that it was not a good idea to get out from the Monday. I told her I agreed and asked her if she wanted to see me because, as I said, it "I cannot wait to see her again" (the term was perhaps too?)
She did not answer. A few days later I called her, but failing to have the phone, I left her a message on her answering machine. No answer again. I began seriously to not understand anything. She said we can meet again when we want, but when I suggest she plays dead?!?
I spoke with family members who advised me to give her some time and re-contact later. Having come late November - early December, I decided to re-contact during the Christmas season. Knowing she was on vacation in Sweden with her family, I sent her a message wishing her a happy new year. She said three days later I want to turn a good year...
[Well, I have seen too big tonight. I'm tired after my jog in the afternoon. So I stop there before the last episode that I'll try to write before the weekend.
I did not listen but watched video clips by writing these lines. A show on MTV Pulse traces the clips of Nirvana, not too bad].
Three weeks have passed since my mail when I said what I felt for her. I honestly did not expect answers from him ... and I preferred not to be.
Two days after returning from vacation, she says. Not to say what she thought of my statement or what it had done. No, she just says: "I received your mail." Argh! I felt faint while reading this. In fact, I was more returned only if it told me to go fuck with my feelings! Shit! What does that mean "I received your mail"? This upset thee? Thee that she hit? You laughed while reading it?
She also added: "I always your CD and I would like you to make them." Oh yes! I do not know if I've told this episode, but during one of our physio sessions, she became interested in the music I listen and she did not know. At the next meeting, I brought a selection of some of my CD representative of metal and industrial.
She told me to go to his office to retrieve them. Well, at first I did not want to go ... too afraid to see her again ... After a few days, I again took my courage in both hands and I went on a Friday night in her office. She was not there ... I returned the next morning, still not there ... I sent her a SMS saying that I spent two and to avoid a newcomer unsuccessful, she tells me when she wanted me to make sure it happens to be there.
A few days passed, no reply to my SMS. In late August, I sent her another email saying she could keep my CD; this is not a problem (which was true). She said this time saying it touched but she really wanted to make. We exchanged a bit to find a time to recover and this has led us in early October!
So happens that famous night, a Monday, where we agreed that I found in her office and that we would have a drink. When I arrived, she is radiant. That reassures me, because deep down, I not lead off. So we start in one of my favorite cafés. We discuss anything and everything, holidays, and I do not know how you get there, she began to tell me about her ex and their rupture.
In fact, she comes from another city and she came to live here to live with her boyfriend. Then she took over the office of a therapist retiring. But a few months after her arrival, she and her boyfriend split up abruptly. I never really knew why. It was very painful for her and she finished in the hole. Since then, it has been ten months then it goes up the hill slowly.
I confessed that to me a little odd that she told me especially after all that mail that I sent her three months ago. She nods, explaining that it was surprised and did not know how to react to my statement.
Later, we decided to go eat together. It is then a small Asian restaurant where there is no one-just the two of us and the boss who does the cooking. At the end of the evening, we left and, the time I get home, she sends me a sms telling me that she spent a great evening and we could put this when I wanted! I told her the next day that I too had spent a pleasant evening with her.
A few days later, I suggested she get together sometime. She agreed, but once again, times to find a date suitable for us both, we arrived in November. We decided to see us on Monday after the long weekend of Nov. 11. During this weekend, she sent me an SMS asking if we could not postpone the dating because she was very tired from the weekend and she thought that it was not a good idea to get out from the Monday. I told her I agreed and asked her if she wanted to see me because, as I said, it "I cannot wait to see her again" (the term was perhaps too?)
She did not answer. A few days later I called her, but failing to have the phone, I left her a message on her answering machine. No answer again. I began seriously to not understand anything. She said we can meet again when we want, but when I suggest she plays dead?!?
I spoke with family members who advised me to give her some time and re-contact later. Having come late November - early December, I decided to re-contact during the Christmas season. Knowing she was on vacation in Sweden with her family, I sent her a message wishing her a happy new year. She said three days later I want to turn a good year...
[Well, I have seen too big tonight. I'm tired after my jog in the afternoon. So I stop there before the last episode that I'll try to write before the weekend.
I did not listen but watched video clips by writing these lines. A show on MTV Pulse traces the clips of Nirvana, not too bad].
The night of Friday to Saturday was horrible ... I wondered what would happen and how I could see her sitting in physiotherapy when she has just put a wind.
On Saturday morning I decided to call to cancel the appointment we made. I also thought to tell her how I felt for her. Of course, at the time of the call, I lost all my resources! I then told her that I preferred to cancel our appointment and that it had nothing to do with her but it came from me. She told me that it was stupid but she accepted my decision. I then hung up the phone without being able to say more.
This call did not at all relieved, on the contrary!
I decided to do something I had never done and I don't think I'd ever: her business card on which she had told me her mobile number, e-mail was there too indicated. So I decided to write her an email where I could tell her everything.
I write her a mail when I spotted her what I felt for her. I tried to make her understand that although it was not just due to our professional relationship with her but because I had seen things that I liked and even the qualities I'm looking specifically for a woman (in particular her open-minded).
So I sent her this mail, hoping to read it carefully, but without waiting for an answer.
Strange as it seemed, I felt relieved after sending the mail.
I thought that our relationship would end as well, but in fact it was just beginning ...
PS: Today I did not listen to music while writing these lines, but the TV was on.
PS2: A thought for all Norwegians.
On Saturday morning I decided to call to cancel the appointment we made. I also thought to tell her how I felt for her. Of course, at the time of the call, I lost all my resources! I then told her that I preferred to cancel our appointment and that it had nothing to do with her but it came from me. She told me that it was stupid but she accepted my decision. I then hung up the phone without being able to say more.
This call did not at all relieved, on the contrary!
I decided to do something I had never done and I don't think I'd ever: her business card on which she had told me her mobile number, e-mail was there too indicated. So I decided to write her an email where I could tell her everything.
I write her a mail when I spotted her what I felt for her. I tried to make her understand that although it was not just due to our professional relationship with her but because I had seen things that I liked and even the qualities I'm looking specifically for a woman (in particular her open-minded).
So I sent her this mail, hoping to read it carefully, but without waiting for an answer.
Strange as it seemed, I felt relieved after sending the mail.
I thought that our relationship would end as well, but in fact it was just beginning ...
PS: Today I did not listen to music while writing these lines, but the TV was on.
PS2: A thought for all Norwegians.
So ... Today is Friday. I have to go in the late afternoon in her office as a physiotherapist for a new session. When I arrive, she is still with her previous client. When my turn came, she asked me to go get ready and settle down on the massage table.
When she joined me, she starts right away by her absence to return to our date on Wednesday.
She began by telling me that she had received my message on her answering machine but could not respond. The reason given was that she realized on Tuesday that her account was blocked. Thus, she could receive calls but could not respond. I found it amazing noticing on Tuesday while on Monday evening, there was no problem. But ... give her the benefit of the doubt.
Then she told me that on Wednesday, the day of our date, a friend came to see her to ask her help in carrying out a duty for their studies. She agreed that took her all evening. I found that this second argument was perhaps too much. In short, I felt she was trying to convince me she could not come to me with many apologies ...
All the while, I listen carefully and try to save face ... but, deep down, I'm collapsing.
Finally, we talk about hers next go on holiday (at the end of the week) and she said she should get some of her business with her ex-boyfriend. This is the first time she spoke to me and I feel as it continues to put distance between us.
At the end of the session, we agree to meet again (for the last sessions) after three weeks of holiday. We set a date to next appointment and I'm going. Devastated, I return home. I tell myself when I could not wait three weeks without telling her what I really feel for her. And I also say it's stupid to meet again for physiotherapy sessions given by the turn of the situation. So I decided to call the next morning in her office.
MySpace Moship Remixes
When she joined me, she starts right away by her absence to return to our date on Wednesday.
She began by telling me that she had received my message on her answering machine but could not respond. The reason given was that she realized on Tuesday that her account was blocked. Thus, she could receive calls but could not respond. I found it amazing noticing on Tuesday while on Monday evening, there was no problem. But ... give her the benefit of the doubt.
Then she told me that on Wednesday, the day of our date, a friend came to see her to ask her help in carrying out a duty for their studies. She agreed that took her all evening. I found that this second argument was perhaps too much. In short, I felt she was trying to convince me she could not come to me with many apologies ...
All the while, I listen carefully and try to save face ... but, deep down, I'm collapsing.
Finally, we talk about hers next go on holiday (at the end of the week) and she said she should get some of her business with her ex-boyfriend. This is the first time she spoke to me and I feel as it continues to put distance between us.
At the end of the session, we agree to meet again (for the last sessions) after three weeks of holiday. We set a date to next appointment and I'm going. Devastated, I return home. I tell myself when I could not wait three weeks without telling her what I really feel for her. And I also say it's stupid to meet again for physiotherapy sessions given by the turn of the situation. So I decided to call the next morning in her office.
MySpace Moship Remixes
