Hmmm so I didn't update from last Friday, but there was more drinking and sex involved.
Right now Ryan is in Wisconsin, helping a friend (who happens to be a girl) with a fashion show... I'm not sure how I feel about it... I don't think of Ryan as someone who would cheat just to get back at me, at all. But because I'm so insecure about our relationship right now, I can't rule anything out.
He's been texting me a bit since he left, so that makes me feel better.
Also, in about 5 days my account expires again. Don't know if I'll be back. I am currently soooo broke.
Right now Ryan is in Wisconsin, helping a friend (who happens to be a girl) with a fashion show... I'm not sure how I feel about it... I don't think of Ryan as someone who would cheat just to get back at me, at all. But because I'm so insecure about our relationship right now, I can't rule anything out.
He's been texting me a bit since he left, so that makes me feel better.
Also, in about 5 days my account expires again. Don't know if I'll be back. I am currently soooo broke.
Last night recap:
Dick sucking
Ass fucking
Pussy eating
Handcuffs
Dirty pictures
Vibrator
Fisting
Slapping
On the kitchen counter
From behind
Titty fucking
69
Hair pulling
Mouth fucking
Choking
Dick sucking
Ass fucking
Pussy eating
Handcuffs
Dirty pictures
Vibrator
Fisting
Slapping
On the kitchen counter
From behind
Titty fucking
69
Hair pulling
Mouth fucking
Choking
Ryan let me get super drunk last night and then fucked my brains out.
It was a dick sucking, ass smacking, belt choking, pussy eating, ass fucking good time.
That is all.
It was a dick sucking, ass smacking, belt choking, pussy eating, ass fucking good time.
That is all.
Today was probably the roughest day for me...
All of my things are out of the apartment. I don't think I could have done it any other way. It took me 10minutes just to get up the nerve to get out of my car to go inside.
It made me feel like a part of my life was over.
All of my things are out of the apartment. I don't think I could have done it any other way. It took me 10minutes just to get up the nerve to get out of my car to go inside.
It made me feel like a part of my life was over.
So I'm moving back to my parents, but we're going to work on rebuilding our relationship. I still love him with all my heart and he finally said he loved me back.
It's going to be hard and quite a process, but I think we can work through it.
It's going to be hard and quite a process, but I think we can work through it.
Alrighty... Got a page and a bit done and only just getting to the good parts.
Gonna go take care of some "business" and then get to bed. Work in the early AM.
Gonna go take care of some "business" and then get to bed. Work in the early AM.
Writing a dirty story....
Wonder if I should send it to the boy when I'm done....would it make things worse?
Wonder if I should send it to the boy when I'm done....would it make things worse?
Fuck you, New Year....
Mixed signals.
Tears, headache and heartache.
Even still, I love you.
No kiss, half a hug and a "talk to you later."
Is this what we've become?
Barely friends?
This can't be a relationship anymore.
This is killing me, can't you see?
I need resolution. I need answers.
You're pulling away from me.
I need to heal. I need to know what to do.
And now I get to go to work. Yeah, fuck you 2012....you're off to a wonderful start...
Mixed signals.
Tears, headache and heartache.
Even still, I love you.
No kiss, half a hug and a "talk to you later."
Is this what we've become?
Barely friends?
This can't be a relationship anymore.
This is killing me, can't you see?
I need resolution. I need answers.
You're pulling away from me.
I need to heal. I need to know what to do.
And now I get to go to work. Yeah, fuck you 2012....you're off to a wonderful start...
Damn you SG in making me think that I had cancelled my account and then charging me for another month! Rawr...
On another note, Ryan is still trying to figure his stuff out.... I've been at my parents since Christmas Eve. They've gone for the weekend so I invited Ryan over for New Years. He's "taking a nap and then letting me know."
How am I supposed to take that?? I told him that my friends have invited me over but that I want to spend the night with him. When I asked if he doesn't want to hang out with me, he said "It's not that, I'll just be boring." I DON'T CARE!!! I just want to spend time with him. I don't want us to be over, but I'm running out of things to keep us together.
I don't know what else to do.
On another note, Ryan is still trying to figure his stuff out.... I've been at my parents since Christmas Eve. They've gone for the weekend so I invited Ryan over for New Years. He's "taking a nap and then letting me know."
How am I supposed to take that?? I told him that my friends have invited me over but that I want to spend the night with him. When I asked if he doesn't want to hang out with me, he said "It's not that, I'll just be boring." I DON'T CARE!!! I just want to spend time with him. I don't want us to be over, but I'm running out of things to keep us together.
I don't know what else to do.
