ApostropheNow in... "Hands across your face"
Somewhere on a dating website which I won't bother name checking 'cos it never worked for me, there's a profile of a person who vaguely resembles me, and the apex of this profile would be the statement that reads "I can't abide a person who says "I don't care"..."
It's been said that the opposite of Love is indifference, and I think a lot of that has been going around but that's not my point, or I don't think that's my point. Anyway, the time has come where I have to question whether or not I've become the person who says "I don't care".
I'm going for a walk... to the fridge. And after that I don't really know.
Somewhere on a dating website which I won't bother name checking 'cos it never worked for me, there's a profile of a person who vaguely resembles me, and the apex of this profile would be the statement that reads "I can't abide a person who says "I don't care"..."
It's been said that the opposite of Love is indifference, and I think a lot of that has been going around but that's not my point, or I don't think that's my point. Anyway, the time has come where I have to question whether or not I've become the person who says "I don't care".
I'm going for a walk... to the fridge. And after that I don't really know.
ApostropheNow in... "Return to Cold Harbor"
"YOU'RE OLD... !"
Uncle Donkey Kong lives in a bubble. Inside it, the painfully obvious is routinely exposed and subsequently hyped to tabloid proportions - lest the sun set on the righteous. He's breaking balls, specifically mine, for my refusal to improve myself. Improvement entails driving a new car, buying a new house, getting married and making babies (because that's what people are supposed to do).
I'm informed that my time is limited. I want to scoff at this.
I'm used to this diatribe, it's a perennial event, and I'm used to Uncle Donkey Kong parking himself in the middle of my home like a Human Winnebago to preach it to me. It's part of a cycle, not unlike the ebb and flow of something all-natural and kinda smelly. Out of Chaos, a pattern. The world is always singing, the tune is everliving, but it is decidedly downbeat.
There is a philosophical school of thought, much too convoluted to fit on a restroom wall, which asserts that the individuals you encounter daily, on either good terms or bad, are the souls you will perpetually meet over and over in your journey of birth, death and rebirth - " the Wheel of Becoming" otherwise known as Samsara. Your friend could be your big sister in the next lifetime. Your cat may become your worst enemy may become your dearest mentor... or your Uncle Donkey Kong.
It's never too late and at once it's later than you think.
"YOU'RE OLD... !"
Uncle Donkey Kong lives in a bubble. Inside it, the painfully obvious is routinely exposed and subsequently hyped to tabloid proportions - lest the sun set on the righteous. He's breaking balls, specifically mine, for my refusal to improve myself. Improvement entails driving a new car, buying a new house, getting married and making babies (because that's what people are supposed to do).
I'm informed that my time is limited. I want to scoff at this.
I'm used to this diatribe, it's a perennial event, and I'm used to Uncle Donkey Kong parking himself in the middle of my home like a Human Winnebago to preach it to me. It's part of a cycle, not unlike the ebb and flow of something all-natural and kinda smelly. Out of Chaos, a pattern. The world is always singing, the tune is everliving, but it is decidedly downbeat.
There is a philosophical school of thought, much too convoluted to fit on a restroom wall, which asserts that the individuals you encounter daily, on either good terms or bad, are the souls you will perpetually meet over and over in your journey of birth, death and rebirth - " the Wheel of Becoming" otherwise known as Samsara. Your friend could be your big sister in the next lifetime. Your cat may become your worst enemy may become your dearest mentor... or your Uncle Donkey Kong.
It's never too late and at once it's later than you think.
ApostropheNow in... "A fireside chat with ApostropheNow"
I'm not gonna say I never lied to you, SG land.
And I'm not lie-ing when I tell you I'm mostly okay with becoming an old man.
Through some cruel and bizarre anomaly of nature I appear younger than my age (being short as shit might have something to do with it) - the pisser is that teens are immune to this illusion, in addition to this they never take my threats of bodily harm seriously. But don't get me wrong, I got nothing against young people. Well, the ones who think they're too cool for school can be especially annoying sometimes.
On a not completely unrelated side-note: there are no laws to prohibit a person from toting a chainsaw everywhere. I took a chainsaw to Wendy's once, no one said a thing. I took a chainsaw to Starbucks and I received several job offers, which was unexpected but not unpleasant. I would never actually attack a young person with a portable mechanical saw, the sight of blood makes me feel puke-y.
BTW, I think the 2nd Amendment is nifty - however, folks who collect guns just plain weird me out. Sorry.
Now's the time where I impart unsolicited advice upon you, whom I presume is young.
Follow your dream. Even if it's stupid and futile.
I'm not gonna say I never lied to you, SG land.
And I'm not lie-ing when I tell you I'm mostly okay with becoming an old man.
Through some cruel and bizarre anomaly of nature I appear younger than my age (being short as shit might have something to do with it) - the pisser is that teens are immune to this illusion, in addition to this they never take my threats of bodily harm seriously. But don't get me wrong, I got nothing against young people. Well, the ones who think they're too cool for school can be especially annoying sometimes.
On a not completely unrelated side-note: there are no laws to prohibit a person from toting a chainsaw everywhere. I took a chainsaw to Wendy's once, no one said a thing. I took a chainsaw to Starbucks and I received several job offers, which was unexpected but not unpleasant. I would never actually attack a young person with a portable mechanical saw, the sight of blood makes me feel puke-y.
BTW, I think the 2nd Amendment is nifty - however, folks who collect guns just plain weird me out. Sorry.
Now's the time where I impart unsolicited advice upon you, whom I presume is young.
Follow your dream. Even if it's stupid and futile.
ApostropheNow in ... "My Dream Job"
Working for the CIA, getting paid with untraceable government weed, giving ridiculous advice to heads-of-state; this is my calling. This is my Dream Job. I'm not saying I love my country, I do.
But... I don't. I'm saying I love weed. No, I'm not.
I play bass in a surf-rock cover band. They don't know I work for the CIA. Maybe if I got paid once in a while, I would tell them. Maybe not. I dislike our guitar player. I was thinking about putting a curse on him. Nothing serious, maybe erectile dysfunction. I don't like our guitar player because he juggles twelve girl friends. That's too many girls and... he still finds time to watch porn. WTH?
I'm told if i don't stop smoking weed, I'll never make it to "English only" Heaven.
Working for the CIA, getting paid with untraceable government weed, giving ridiculous advice to heads-of-state; this is my calling. This is my Dream Job. I'm not saying I love my country, I do.
But... I don't. I'm saying I love weed. No, I'm not.
I play bass in a surf-rock cover band. They don't know I work for the CIA. Maybe if I got paid once in a while, I would tell them. Maybe not. I dislike our guitar player. I was thinking about putting a curse on him. Nothing serious, maybe erectile dysfunction. I don't like our guitar player because he juggles twelve girl friends. That's too many girls and... he still finds time to watch porn. WTH?
I'm told if i don't stop smoking weed, I'll never make it to "English only" Heaven.
ApostropheNow in... "This Hamburger Destroys Fascists"
i was wandering down the street yesterday; bloated- from the double cheeseburger combo i'd just scarfed, and a little depressed about... nothing in particular. Suddenly- a giant fucking dog, perhaps a doberman/great dane mix (which kind of disgusts me on some level) poked it's gargoyle head over a block wall fence and snarled at me, figuratively startling the shit out of me.
At once both incensed and strangely detached from myself, i put down my absurdly huge drink and scooped up a handful of gravel. Apparently, the dog had been the recipient of countless handfuls of random debris, it easily ducked my volley as if telegraphed via ESP. Oh, what i would've given for a molotov cocktail at that moment, i considered throwing my drink but i was too cheap to let it go.
i was wandering down the street yesterday; bloated- from the double cheeseburger combo i'd just scarfed, and a little depressed about... nothing in particular. Suddenly- a giant fucking dog, perhaps a doberman/great dane mix (which kind of disgusts me on some level) poked it's gargoyle head over a block wall fence and snarled at me, figuratively startling the shit out of me.
At once both incensed and strangely detached from myself, i put down my absurdly huge drink and scooped up a handful of gravel. Apparently, the dog had been the recipient of countless handfuls of random debris, it easily ducked my volley as if telegraphed via ESP. Oh, what i would've given for a molotov cocktail at that moment, i considered throwing my drink but i was too cheap to let it go.
I was lucky to get some good advice when I was about 14 years old.
If I had been any younger when I received the advice I wouldn't have fully understood it and if I'd been any older I probably would've ignored it. It was the right advice at the right time; it hasn't made my life much easier but I still carry it with me. The advice was... be humble. Um. OK.
I recently learned that I was more influential than I imagined possible and it kinda blew my mind. Personally, I think I'm a terrible role model. I suspected that the world might be degenerating into grayscale discombobulation if people started taking me seriously, yet they do. What is up with that.
Reason does not speak through me, but that just might be the humility talking.
If I had been any younger when I received the advice I wouldn't have fully understood it and if I'd been any older I probably would've ignored it. It was the right advice at the right time; it hasn't made my life much easier but I still carry it with me. The advice was... be humble. Um. OK.
I recently learned that I was more influential than I imagined possible and it kinda blew my mind. Personally, I think I'm a terrible role model. I suspected that the world might be degenerating into grayscale discombobulation if people started taking me seriously, yet they do. What is up with that.
Reason does not speak through me, but that just might be the humility talking.
It turns out that foamy pee is a bad sign.
One thing led to another and I went for a renal ultrasound.
I had a lively conversation with the technician though, we laughed and laughed.
One thing led to another and I went for a renal ultrasound.
I had a lively conversation with the technician though, we laughed and laughed.
One of the minor disappointments I live with daily is having no one to discuss the Tao with. The paradox is that this is very Tao. Wanna know what else is very Tao? Y'know how half the food on earth "tastes like chicken"? That's very Tao.
One time I tried to discuss the Tao with "Disco Stew", who looks like he fell through a wormhole in space and now he's searching for a way back to the pretentious hair salon he worked at in his home dimension. Disco Stew stocks shelves overnight at the local supermarket but he waxes poetic about the mysteries of life to me while I shoplift (very Tao).
I tried to explain to him that the greatest misfortune is the self. In response, Disco Stew pushed his fingers up at the corners of his eyes in the classic racist "chinky" expression and muttered some Gump-like truism in an exaggerated accent; it didn't occur to me 'til much later how very Tao that was.
One time I tried to discuss the Tao with "Disco Stew", who looks like he fell through a wormhole in space and now he's searching for a way back to the pretentious hair salon he worked at in his home dimension. Disco Stew stocks shelves overnight at the local supermarket but he waxes poetic about the mysteries of life to me while I shoplift (very Tao).
I tried to explain to him that the greatest misfortune is the self. In response, Disco Stew pushed his fingers up at the corners of his eyes in the classic racist "chinky" expression and muttered some Gump-like truism in an exaggerated accent; it didn't occur to me 'til much later how very Tao that was.
I've been spending an unhealthy amount of time playing Civilization V - literally all day long.
On a more positive note, I appear to be losing weight - which I didn't think was possible on a strict diet of beer and pretzels.
On a more positive note, I appear to be losing weight - which I didn't think was possible on a strict diet of beer and pretzels.
I splurged on a new monitor (24" LCD!!) to compliment my new PC build. I love this thing. I also bought Win7, which I didn't really care for at first... but it's growing on me. Shit, man - my profile pic looks awful now that I can see it (why didn't somebody tell me?) I should do something about that.
The weather is perfect... and I feel pretty good about my life for a change.
The weather is perfect... and I feel pretty good about my life for a change.
