I am going to say last night was drunken madness. Played softball and then went to the bar after, got trash and then woke up this morning. Somewhere in between at the bar and waking up, I drove home. SHIT
so, what exactly is the point of relationships...? if it's just going to end in heart ache.. why even put yourself out there to risk it?
you spend so much time with someone, and give so much of yourself and your heart to someone, care so much, get to know someone so well, share so many things, trust them.... and then what are you left with when it ends? [because you know it always ends]
nothing.
just a feeling of regret. like you've just wasted so much time.
you put so much time and energy into something that gets you nothing in return. and what for? you have nothing to show for it but a few scars and more emotional issues. maybe another brick to add to the wall that you've been building up around your heart each time you've been hurt.
mostly it just feels like... why did i just go through all that? especially if you can't even remain friends and it ends badly. when that whole time you thought you were so close to that person. but turns out they don't care at all. because people only care about themselves. lesson learned.
i see people breaking up, getting hurt, burnt, crushed, unrequited love... all the time. [especially in my own life] and i'm just starting to wonder... is it worth it? if in the end you are filled with so much pain and anger and someone makes you feel so bad about yourself when you know you don't deserve it, then really, why bother to begin with? why date at all, if it's just going to end like that?
the laughs, the fun, the romance, the smiles... it just doesn't seem to be worth it if it's not real. it's really just kind of... sad. a broken heart is more powerful than any good memory.
life is filled with enough disappointment as it is. why do we just continue to set ourselves up for more?
Sorry venting again.
Listening to so Joe Strummer, getting ready for work. Going to the Dodger game tonight with a great friend from work. Her and I have know each other since day one I started there. I noticed her wearing a Bouncing Souls shirt and thought damn that is my favorite band so what is she doing where them? I asked her and she said its her favorite band too. Boom the start of a friendship.
Later
Anarchy
So I went to the Dodger Game today. Got drunk and had a blast. I add some pictures later. I got one with me and a Cop. It fucking rocks. Going to watch the Joe Strummer Doc. Later
Oh BBQ Sunday My place starts at 3:30, I will provide the food, BYOB
so, what exactly is the point of relationships...? if it's just going to end in heart ache.. why even put yourself out there to risk it?
you spend so much time with someone, and give so much of yourself and your heart to someone, care so much, get to know someone so well, share so many things, trust them.... and then what are you left with when it ends? [because you know it always ends]
nothing.
just a feeling of regret. like you've just wasted so much time.
you put so much time and energy into something that gets you nothing in return. and what for? you have nothing to show for it but a few scars and more emotional issues. maybe another brick to add to the wall that you've been building up around your heart each time you've been hurt.
mostly it just feels like... why did i just go through all that? especially if you can't even remain friends and it ends badly. when that whole time you thought you were so close to that person. but turns out they don't care at all. because people only care about themselves. lesson learned.
i see people breaking up, getting hurt, burnt, crushed, unrequited love... all the time. [especially in my own life] and i'm just starting to wonder... is it worth it? if in the end you are filled with so much pain and anger and someone makes you feel so bad about yourself when you know you don't deserve it, then really, why bother to begin with? why date at all, if it's just going to end like that?
the laughs, the fun, the romance, the smiles... it just doesn't seem to be worth it if it's not real. it's really just kind of... sad. a broken heart is more powerful than any good memory.
life is filled with enough disappointment as it is. why do we just continue to set ourselves up for more?
Sorry venting again.
Listening to so Joe Strummer, getting ready for work. Going to the Dodger game tonight with a great friend from work. Her and I have know each other since day one I started there. I noticed her wearing a Bouncing Souls shirt and thought damn that is my favorite band so what is she doing where them? I asked her and she said its her favorite band too. Boom the start of a friendship.
Later
Anarchy
So I went to the Dodger Game today. Got drunk and had a blast. I add some pictures later. I got one with me and a Cop. It fucking rocks. Going to watch the Joe Strummer Doc. Later
Oh BBQ Sunday My place starts at 3:30, I will provide the food, BYOB
So yea, I finally did what I have been trying to do for the last week.
- I did my Laudry today -- Wow that was fun. I love seeing hot chicks at the laundry mat!
- I saw Wall-E last night -- It sucked. I hated that movie, it was a waste of my time. I can see where people like it but I was just so bored with it that its not even funny.
So those two things out of the way. I wanted vent alittle:
So I have been listening to Weezer(yes I like Weezer and No I am not EMO) Red Album for the last few weeks. It takes some time for me to catch the message Como is singing. The Song "Thought I Knew" is how I feel about what happen a few months ago with this girl. I know everyone can relate to a song but I feel this song expresses how She made me feel. going to leave this subject at this. I think she reads my blogs...
So I am going to post new pictures, let me know what you think? Does Pink look good on me? I think real men where pink!
So BBQ this Sunday at my place. All is invited!
A
Listening to Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros. Wow He is missed, his music brings you down to earth when your lost!
- I did my Laudry today -- Wow that was fun. I love seeing hot chicks at the laundry mat!
- I saw Wall-E last night -- It sucked. I hated that movie, it was a waste of my time. I can see where people like it but I was just so bored with it that its not even funny.
So those two things out of the way. I wanted vent alittle:
So I have been listening to Weezer(yes I like Weezer and No I am not EMO) Red Album for the last few weeks. It takes some time for me to catch the message Como is singing. The Song "Thought I Knew" is how I feel about what happen a few months ago with this girl. I know everyone can relate to a song but I feel this song expresses how She made me feel. going to leave this subject at this. I think she reads my blogs...
So I am going to post new pictures, let me know what you think? Does Pink look good on me? I think real men where pink!
So BBQ this Sunday at my place. All is invited!
A
Listening to Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros. Wow He is missed, his music brings you down to earth when your lost!
2:30 AM - So I just got home from the bar and I am restless. I am wide awake and not sure what to do. I was thinking about going to Neptue's Net tomorrow for lunch, its a drive and never fun by yourself but I have not been out there in a few years. I love the food and to watch the water from the cliff above is very peacefull well except for all the motorcycles reving by. I also want to go see a movie, Wall-E, but again no one to go with. The most important thing I need to do is Laundry, it sucks that I have to go to a laundry mat to do the wash. I live in a house but the owner took out the washer and dryer cause the water cost them to much. They said that the previous tentant would have there whole family over to do there laundry and so it ran up the water bill. Well I have been living here to years and it sucks.
So I am a movie guy, and I love watching movies. Something about a movie that calms me. I have gone to the theaters for the last few weeks by myself to watch the newist movie. Let see went to see the Incredible Hulk, then Get Smart, then Wanted and last I saw was Hancock. I want to see Wall-E tomorrow I have been putting that movie off for a few days now and I think i will go see it tomorrow. My little brother said its great and thought its the best pixar movie yet. That is saying something right? I have heard a lot of people talk about it so I want to check it out. Oh I watched On the Waterfront yesterday, Man what a great movie that is. Why don't the studios make classics like that anymore? I also watched this indie movie called the Boxer with Daniel Day Lewis. It was made in 92 I think but its a good Irish film. Its about this boxer in ireland that is mix inbetween the chatholics and the Prods during that whole sha bang. I recomend the movie to anyone that wants to check it out. Also if you like ethan hawke check out Before the Devil Know's You're Dead. Its a good one too.
Well I will continue later today. And if you want to join me on any of my adventures Sunday hit me up.
A
I am listening to Weezer's Red Album. Not sure what to think of it right now. Time will tell on this one. I still think Pinkerton is the best one.
3:00 PM - I am back, I have done nothing but gather my laundry up. Debating on if I should go to the laudrey mat or wait till later. I know I have huge choices to make. I have also started sending out my resume to find a new job. I started doing this last march then something happen and I put it on the back burner. Well Now I am looking again. I have sent one to a couple companies in Japan and London. Not holding my breath on those but i would love to live there. Also looked at jobs in SF, NYC, Toranto and Vancouver. Oh and of course LA but Not sure if I will find anything. I also reapplyed to some cruise ships. I just want a job that I can just travel around the world and make 100k a year. I am making half of that right now, and with gas prices going up I am not saving a penny.
So why do girls think that because I am a flirt and I talk to them, that they think I want to date them or sleep with them? I mean, my friend and I were talking and I was complaning that I did not get to spend much time with her when she visited (I hung with her for 4 Hours, while she was here for a week). And she said that she feel that if she gets close to me that I will then think that she wants me and that I would get the wrong impression. Cause she has a boyfriend and she lives in Denver so yea I would want to date her - SARCASIM. It sucks, I need to stop being a nice guy. I think I will live up to my nick name (Bad Andy) and just start treating girls like shit. Cause I have not been successful dating girls being nice. NO where are true women? Not the girls that act grown up but truely are little children!
Later, sorry listening to Dead to Me, a great band from the SF area. Check them out, I will be back later.
7:34 PM - Well Did not do laudry and Have not gone to see Wall - E yet. Everything I try to I don't. I read some and watched a movie - Pierrepoint: the Last Hangman. Its a good film. Now just chatting away on the computer. I just found out this girl is no longer married and I thought she was. She told me she filed for a divorce a few months back. So maybe I will ask her out. What do i have to lose? I have been designing a chest piece that I want to get done as my next tattoo. Its going to look sick but its goign to take some time.
Listening to Against Me! and going to go read more. Later
So I am a movie guy, and I love watching movies. Something about a movie that calms me. I have gone to the theaters for the last few weeks by myself to watch the newist movie. Let see went to see the Incredible Hulk, then Get Smart, then Wanted and last I saw was Hancock. I want to see Wall-E tomorrow I have been putting that movie off for a few days now and I think i will go see it tomorrow. My little brother said its great and thought its the best pixar movie yet. That is saying something right? I have heard a lot of people talk about it so I want to check it out. Oh I watched On the Waterfront yesterday, Man what a great movie that is. Why don't the studios make classics like that anymore? I also watched this indie movie called the Boxer with Daniel Day Lewis. It was made in 92 I think but its a good Irish film. Its about this boxer in ireland that is mix inbetween the chatholics and the Prods during that whole sha bang. I recomend the movie to anyone that wants to check it out. Also if you like ethan hawke check out Before the Devil Know's You're Dead. Its a good one too.
Well I will continue later today. And if you want to join me on any of my adventures Sunday hit me up.
A
I am listening to Weezer's Red Album. Not sure what to think of it right now. Time will tell on this one. I still think Pinkerton is the best one.
3:00 PM - I am back, I have done nothing but gather my laundry up. Debating on if I should go to the laudrey mat or wait till later. I know I have huge choices to make. I have also started sending out my resume to find a new job. I started doing this last march then something happen and I put it on the back burner. Well Now I am looking again. I have sent one to a couple companies in Japan and London. Not holding my breath on those but i would love to live there. Also looked at jobs in SF, NYC, Toranto and Vancouver. Oh and of course LA but Not sure if I will find anything. I also reapplyed to some cruise ships. I just want a job that I can just travel around the world and make 100k a year. I am making half of that right now, and with gas prices going up I am not saving a penny.
So why do girls think that because I am a flirt and I talk to them, that they think I want to date them or sleep with them? I mean, my friend and I were talking and I was complaning that I did not get to spend much time with her when she visited (I hung with her for 4 Hours, while she was here for a week). And she said that she feel that if she gets close to me that I will then think that she wants me and that I would get the wrong impression. Cause she has a boyfriend and she lives in Denver so yea I would want to date her - SARCASIM. It sucks, I need to stop being a nice guy. I think I will live up to my nick name (Bad Andy) and just start treating girls like shit. Cause I have not been successful dating girls being nice. NO where are true women? Not the girls that act grown up but truely are little children!
Later, sorry listening to Dead to Me, a great band from the SF area. Check them out, I will be back later.
7:34 PM - Well Did not do laudry and Have not gone to see Wall - E yet. Everything I try to I don't. I read some and watched a movie - Pierrepoint: the Last Hangman. Its a good film. Now just chatting away on the computer. I just found out this girl is no longer married and I thought she was. She told me she filed for a divorce a few months back. So maybe I will ask her out. What do i have to lose? I have been designing a chest piece that I want to get done as my next tattoo. Its going to look sick but its goign to take some time.
Listening to Against Me! and going to go read more. Later
So Last night was dead at the bar, but that was expected. So I today have done nothing and I love it. People always ask why I do nothing but stay at home on a beautiful Saturday, my answer is that I love staying at home doing nothing when I don't have to work. Two things it does, one I rest up from the previous week and two I am not out spending money. So today I got up watched a movie (the Boxer) then I played this video game that I have been hooked on for some time. Its Call of Duty and it is additing. I play online so I get my ass kick by 10 years that are way better than I. I think I am going to watch this movie call Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Then I have to work at the bar tonight and I hope its busy so it will make time go by and when there are people there usually I am not so bored and someone will talk to me.
I am debating on shaving the mowhawk off, I just not caring for it anymore. I hardly ever wear it up and I just think is annoying. I mean I was going to originally cut it off after I go to vegas in a few weeks but now I am thinking about cutting it off before. There is not importance to have it in vegas I just told myself that I would cut it off after. I've had a hawk for the last 5 years off and on and I just think they have become trendy. I mean everyone has one now. Especially those Fu-Hawks. I hate fu-hawks. Its almost like a mullet. Think about it. Buisness when its down Party when it up. Its as close to a hawk yuppy's will ever get. well I am done for now.
I was thinking about having a bbq party next weekend, if I were to have one in my back yard would anyone come? I live in Silverlake, near Dodger stadium.
Also everyone is welcome to join me at St. Nick's Pub every Friday and Saturday. I work there, fun times...
A
Listening to The Pogues, I love all forms of Irish music even thou I am Scottish. Funny
I am debating on shaving the mowhawk off, I just not caring for it anymore. I hardly ever wear it up and I just think is annoying. I mean I was going to originally cut it off after I go to vegas in a few weeks but now I am thinking about cutting it off before. There is not importance to have it in vegas I just told myself that I would cut it off after. I've had a hawk for the last 5 years off and on and I just think they have become trendy. I mean everyone has one now. Especially those Fu-Hawks. I hate fu-hawks. Its almost like a mullet. Think about it. Buisness when its down Party when it up. Its as close to a hawk yuppy's will ever get. well I am done for now.
I was thinking about having a bbq party next weekend, if I were to have one in my back yard would anyone come? I live in Silverlake, near Dodger stadium.
Also everyone is welcome to join me at St. Nick's Pub every Friday and Saturday. I work there, fun times...
A
Listening to The Pogues, I love all forms of Irish music even thou I am Scottish. Funny
its been a week and I have been trying to write a new blog everyday, but when I start nothing comes out. I mean I had a shit ton to say but did not know how to say it. Well I will just talk about last night
So I went to a show last night to support my friends. they were doing there last show in LA at the Roxy. They are moving to Japan to record an album and well they are from Japan so they are also going home. I met this girl, hung out with her at the show the whole time, and got her number at the end. I like her but We will see. I will call her in a few days.
Then I went to St. Nicks pub after the show. Met up with friends and got shit faced. all my friends left early so I stayed till close. Then went to the strip club and spent nearly 300 on one girl. She asked for my number, i gave it to her but I won't wait up for her call.
Right now I am just living one day at a time and not giving a fuck anymore. Well off to work. I also work at St. Nicks
A
I am listening to Social D right now. Mike Ness is a great song writer...Listening to Angel's Wings great song.
So I went to a show last night to support my friends. they were doing there last show in LA at the Roxy. They are moving to Japan to record an album and well they are from Japan so they are also going home. I met this girl, hung out with her at the show the whole time, and got her number at the end. I like her but We will see. I will call her in a few days.
Then I went to St. Nicks pub after the show. Met up with friends and got shit faced. all my friends left early so I stayed till close. Then went to the strip club and spent nearly 300 on one girl. She asked for my number, i gave it to her but I won't wait up for her call.
Right now I am just living one day at a time and not giving a fuck anymore. Well off to work. I also work at St. Nicks
A
I am listening to Social D right now. Mike Ness is a great song writer...Listening to Angel's Wings great song.
Today was a fun day at work. I was hung over in the morning, watched the Happening, went to Best Buy to get some new music, then had lunch, I was called a psycho thats a first, then finished up work, helped a friend move a table into her new place, stuck in Hollywood Bowl traffic, then came home.
The Stone Temple Pilot concert last night was fucking awesome. Had such a blast. Felt like a 5th grader hearing them for the first time. My friends and I pre gamed at there house, then took a shuttle to the show, drank some more, then instead of getting on the shuttle to go home we decided to walk to a bar far way and drank some more, then 6 of us piled in a two door mustage coup. we got suck in the car. then went back to my friends house and drank some more and then went home and crashed about 4am.
Today I talked to a friend that just got into town from Denver. I am excited to see her, I have not seen her in a long time. I was suppose to go visit her in Feb but cancelled my trip so now I get to spend a week with her. Also someone gave me another friends number that I have not seen in nearly two years. So I am going to call her and hopefully we can hang out soon.
Got some new clothes in the mail today and man can't wait to wear them out and about. Oh and my friend invited me to the SG party on Saturday at the Echo. She is a SG girl so i get to hang out in the VIP room Hell yea. I am out
A
Oh and I am totally rocking to Billy Idol right now
The Stone Temple Pilot concert last night was fucking awesome. Had such a blast. Felt like a 5th grader hearing them for the first time. My friends and I pre gamed at there house, then took a shuttle to the show, drank some more, then instead of getting on the shuttle to go home we decided to walk to a bar far way and drank some more, then 6 of us piled in a two door mustage coup. we got suck in the car. then went back to my friends house and drank some more and then went home and crashed about 4am.
Today I talked to a friend that just got into town from Denver. I am excited to see her, I have not seen her in a long time. I was suppose to go visit her in Feb but cancelled my trip so now I get to spend a week with her. Also someone gave me another friends number that I have not seen in nearly two years. So I am going to call her and hopefully we can hang out soon.
Got some new clothes in the mail today and man can't wait to wear them out and about. Oh and my friend invited me to the SG party on Saturday at the Echo. She is a SG girl so i get to hang out in the VIP room Hell yea. I am out
A
Oh and I am totally rocking to Billy Idol right now
So yea this weekend was nothing. I just stayed home, work at the bar and helped my roommate move in. I did however start editing this film I directed nearly 4 years ago. Me and my buddy are now currently editing it and going to try and get it out there. Every time I watch takes from the movie I die laughing. It was so much fun making this film that I feel bad that I never finished it. The Actors must be pissed at me for never finishing it. So much hard work was put into it that it is a shame that I drop the ball and was not able to finish it. Hopefully that will change. We have discovered that some of the audio is missing and I hope to find it. BUT 4 years have passed and I have no clue what I did with the CD.
Work today was tiring. Went out drinking with my buddy and got home alittle late last night. Then got up and went to work. I am beat, hopefully I can stay awake for a movie that I am going to see in a minute. Wish I had a friend that likes to go see movies with. Its weird, I have a shit ton of friends but non that likes to do what I like to do. I mean my closes friend in LA is this guy but he is always broke to do anything with. All we do is drink at the bar. He never wants to go see a show or a movie or do anything other than go to the same bar night after night. Then he wonders why he cant find a lady, even though I have not had much luck in that department.
At work today I did get to see some old college friends. One works at my work but she works nights so I had not see her since she started a month ago and the other who is dating someone from work I had not seen since last sept when I helped her move. So that was fun talking to them.
Tomorrow I am going to the Stone Temple Pilots concert with some friends. That will be very exciting considering that when I bought the ticket I thought I might be going with a girl but that did not work out so well. Luckly my friends were going or I would have been going by myself and that would have sucked.
Hey just throwing this out there but if you live in the LA area and would like professional Photo's taken of yourself or of anything I am able to do that. Just trying to get my name out there and I would say I am cheap(free). So if you are interested email me on here. They don't have to be nude photo's and I am very creative
Well I am going to see Get Smart now....
A
Work today was tiring. Went out drinking with my buddy and got home alittle late last night. Then got up and went to work. I am beat, hopefully I can stay awake for a movie that I am going to see in a minute. Wish I had a friend that likes to go see movies with. Its weird, I have a shit ton of friends but non that likes to do what I like to do. I mean my closes friend in LA is this guy but he is always broke to do anything with. All we do is drink at the bar. He never wants to go see a show or a movie or do anything other than go to the same bar night after night. Then he wonders why he cant find a lady, even though I have not had much luck in that department.
At work today I did get to see some old college friends. One works at my work but she works nights so I had not see her since she started a month ago and the other who is dating someone from work I had not seen since last sept when I helped her move. So that was fun talking to them.
Tomorrow I am going to the Stone Temple Pilots concert with some friends. That will be very exciting considering that when I bought the ticket I thought I might be going with a girl but that did not work out so well. Luckly my friends were going or I would have been going by myself and that would have sucked.
Hey just throwing this out there but if you live in the LA area and would like professional Photo's taken of yourself or of anything I am able to do that. Just trying to get my name out there and I would say I am cheap(free). So if you are interested email me on here. They don't have to be nude photo's and I am very creative
Well I am going to see Get Smart now....
A
WOW...Last nite was fing crazy. It was so much fun. Man, not to many of my friends came out, which i expect they would not come out cause work on thursday, but thanks to the the ones that did come out. My friend said and I quote "Your true friends show up with in the hour." or they are true drunks... So this girl that I have know for 5 or so years showed up. had not seen or hung out with her in over 6 months. I love this girl. She is like family. So she invited me to go to Vegas with her and her friend that is visiting from out of state. So this weekend I am going to Vegas. Hell yea. Man I think I am still drunk too . Well I am going to go pass out somemore. Later
A
Oh thanks to all that wished me a happy birthday. The ex lady never said a word. That is cold....
A
Oh thanks to all that wished me a happy birthday. The ex lady never said a word. That is cold....
So yea I am now 26 years of age and I feel the same as yesterday. Actually i am very soar. I played softball yesterday and we won by beating the undeafted team. It was GLORIOUS, sorry. So my anckle and back are alittle stiff this morning. I am going to go shopping soon and go get a tattoo done and then going to the Burgundy room tonight to party.... Later
