This is going to be an interesting post for me as I normally don't blog. In fact, I despise blogs, but this is something I feel I have to say in some forum, and this seems to be the one for it.
A lot has gone through my head as of late. A couple months ago I had split with my girlfriend of about a year and a half because I knew she wasn't the one for me. That being said I had been slipping in and out of a depression off and on (more on than off) because I felt that no matter what I did I would have to settle for one of the ones that wanted me even it they did not want or were incapable of wanting what I want. One thing has become more and more clear to me, I am definitely not able to handle a ready-made family. I have to build into it. A starting from scratch kind of thing if you will.
I had gone out on the weekend of my birthday. A sort of early celebration since my birthday was actually on a Monday this year. As I was out I met this very nice, intelligent and lovely young lady. No, I will not give her name, it's not important. We had talked for a good long while that night. When it came time to say goodbye because the little bar we were at was closing (yes, a bar not a club. I don't don the club scene around here,) I had slipped her my number, though, she almost dropped it not realizing I was giving it to her. LOL. And with that we had departed.
Fast forward almost two months now. Last night (well, technically it was 130am Saturday, but still Friday night in my book,) I get a text from this lass. I had just gotten back from the movies (theater was 45 minutes away and the only English version of the film didn't start until 1010pm.) I get a text from this girl asking me if I want to come out and hang with her. Me being the crazy I am I actually agreed to it. And I am glad I did. This young lady showed me that even as I get older the kind of woman I truly want still finds me attractive. Now granted our situations being what they are, we have agreed that getting into anything long-term right now is just a bad idea. But, that isn't exactly the point, is it?
What I am getting at is this: While I know she will not read this post because she is not a member of SG, I want to say thank you to her. I don't know if I have the heart to tell it to her myself. I guess I'm just afraid of how it might change the dynamic between her and I if I do. And that is not what I want to happen. Anways, thank you, for you have given me something back that for a long time I had lost completely: Hope. Thanks to you I have hope that I will find what I am looking for in my future. I have hope that I will find that happiness which has eluded me all these years. Will I find it immediately? I doubt it. But, at least now I have hope that I eventually will.
For any of my friends who might happen to read this please I ask you just take it for what it is: My ramblings about something that may seem somewhat trivial to you, but to me means the world. Thank you.
A lot has gone through my head as of late. A couple months ago I had split with my girlfriend of about a year and a half because I knew she wasn't the one for me. That being said I had been slipping in and out of a depression off and on (more on than off) because I felt that no matter what I did I would have to settle for one of the ones that wanted me even it they did not want or were incapable of wanting what I want. One thing has become more and more clear to me, I am definitely not able to handle a ready-made family. I have to build into it. A starting from scratch kind of thing if you will.
I had gone out on the weekend of my birthday. A sort of early celebration since my birthday was actually on a Monday this year. As I was out I met this very nice, intelligent and lovely young lady. No, I will not give her name, it's not important. We had talked for a good long while that night. When it came time to say goodbye because the little bar we were at was closing (yes, a bar not a club. I don't don the club scene around here,) I had slipped her my number, though, she almost dropped it not realizing I was giving it to her. LOL. And with that we had departed.
Fast forward almost two months now. Last night (well, technically it was 130am Saturday, but still Friday night in my book,) I get a text from this lass. I had just gotten back from the movies (theater was 45 minutes away and the only English version of the film didn't start until 1010pm.) I get a text from this girl asking me if I want to come out and hang with her. Me being the crazy I am I actually agreed to it. And I am glad I did. This young lady showed me that even as I get older the kind of woman I truly want still finds me attractive. Now granted our situations being what they are, we have agreed that getting into anything long-term right now is just a bad idea. But, that isn't exactly the point, is it?
What I am getting at is this: While I know she will not read this post because she is not a member of SG, I want to say thank you to her. I don't know if I have the heart to tell it to her myself. I guess I'm just afraid of how it might change the dynamic between her and I if I do. And that is not what I want to happen. Anways, thank you, for you have given me something back that for a long time I had lost completely: Hope. Thanks to you I have hope that I will find what I am looking for in my future. I have hope that I will find that happiness which has eluded me all these years. Will I find it immediately? I doubt it. But, at least now I have hope that I eventually will.
For any of my friends who might happen to read this please I ask you just take it for what it is: My ramblings about something that may seem somewhat trivial to you, but to me means the world. Thank you.
Here it is, 2am on Thursday the 10th of November and I came to ask myself some questions. Yes, I'm a little tipsy, but, this might ring true with some others. Why in the hell should I continue in chat to dock people whom tell me they are taken? I mean, shit, it makes me feel 1) that people are using me to "cheat" on their significant others without actually doing the deed of having sex with someone and 2) that I'm not worth a whole lot more than to be used in such a way. I can almost guarantee I'm not the only one who feels that way, though, I do know there are some who go in chat and don't mind showing off. But, god damn, let's remember what SG is truly about, and the fact that it's not truly about the sex aspect. "Beauty Redefined" not "Sex Redefined."
You know, I was in chat the other day and noticed someone talking about how some of their so-called friends they met on here were undocking them in the chat channel because she wasn't getting naked on her cam. Honestly, while SG is about redefining beauty, and with SG part of showing that beauty is showing the base of it in the nude. However, it should not be the sole reason for seeing someone as being beautiful. Just food for thought.
