“she sets my crotch on fire. in a good way.”

“Funniest motherfucker here.”

“You are fabulous

”

“She once cheated me out of a whole speedball. I was in bad shape, so strung out my arms could barely move. I was cooking up the 'ball but couldn't find a vein. So here comes Alyk and she's all like," Dude I'll totally inject it in your eye for you", and I was all like, "aww thanks kiddo", so she tells me to open my eyes wide and look to the left and I do and then there's this REALLY sharp pain in my eye and I'm all like, "OW! WHAT THE FUCK BITCH!?!" And she's all like "Dude it always hurt the first time you inject an speedball into your eye, ass." And while's she saying this she's booting up herself and i'm all lke, "Hey where did you get THAT speedball?" and she's all ready nodding off and mumbles "I found it, bitch."

I still love her though.”

“

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

”

“alyk is wicked funny. i'm only beginning to get to know her, but plenty of stalking will occur when i move to boston.”

“she is funny as all hell...
and beautiful to boot!
plus she fears me.....
for i am from brockton, which means i kick ass and always carry brass knuckles.
Alyk has my back...
and is attracted to perverted film pedophiles like myself.
nuff said.”

“The wonder of the Gossip based world i love this lady more than i humanly should.

If she doesnt marry me and bear my children i will make pretend babies out of papier mache and raise them as my own.”

“Alyk. she'd be a lot cooler if she went to Funny Camp like i told her to. It's only 4 days and it really would've helped the group grow funnier as a whole.

what a bitch.”

“”

“”

“the mother of my adpoted babies... when i can pry her out of boston.”

“Everyone should Aly like I do. ”

“the author of the most classic journal entries to have ever existed in the whole history of the universe
”

“alyk hails as the owner of one of my favorite groups here on SG (behind GO, natch), here snarkiness abounds. she inspires me in celebrity gossip. someday I will have millions of dollars and I will be able to capture Jordan's son for her to keep.

and I'd do a line of coke off her ass any time she'd let me.”