Now, I understand that today is the 11th day of the 9th month. BIG FUCKING DEAL. I give Obama a bit of a break, as prezzy he stood up, acknowledged this day in history, had a moment of silence, and then went on with his day. SO SHOULD YOU. We don't need to watch 7 different, 2 hour long shows on NatGeo or History all about 9/11. You don't need to change your profile picture on facebook, you don't need to post 5 different status's talking about remembering the families. Listen, I remember how tragic it WAS. A bully beat us up, and we're still crying about it? Move on. Please. It's been EIGHT years. Tyler died five years ago this November, and you don't see me going around trying to get everyone's attention about it. I pay my respects, shed a few tears, and go on. It really is so absurd how everyone is butthurt for one fucking day about something like this. Yes, people were killed, many people, for "no" reason, and it was an attack on this country. [Coming from someone who is insanely unpatriotic] I see why it was such a horrific event. I cried for a day or two when it happened, I was scared and heartbroken. But if everyone continues to hurt over these things, it's no wonder our country is pathetic, weak, and completely fucked. It was an attack on this country, and we fought back. Everyone says they're doing what they can to mend the hearts of those who lost someone. My personal view on this seems to be that the lives of soldiers are being lost to help mend your selfish pain. No one is ever crying or outraged about the families who have their children fight for this country.

If you're going to be patriotic, and filled with pain.....do it for the soldiers who are TRYING to save your ass and keep you safe. The ones paying with their lives to make 9/11 seem so......righteous. You all have your head on backwards. This day never fails at pissing me off, and making me hate the world [including my country] a little more. Also, take this support to soldiers with a grain of salt. I'm not a patriot, and I'm not a big fan of military. Life has shown me that getting close to military can lead to alot of pain. [Unless you're my Nana, whose story I have never really taken to heart until right now]

So I love my friends to death, no matter what. Basically, like, all of 5 of them. But if Reekie doesn't stop acting like she's still in high school.......I'm going to try and stop making stupid threats to make a point. But seriously, it's getting old. I am not a giggly, bubbly, goofy girl. Drinking makes it worse. When you drink, you become every single thing I hate in females. Slutty, ignorant, high-pitched, completely careless; you don't listen to anything I say and don't see the truth in it. You giggle like a 5 year old at the WORST jokes. And god forbid you drink at the wrong party, because it's going to be hard for me not to scream I TOLD YOU SO! when you're asking me to take care of you when the Plan B kicks in.
I fucking love you more than anyone else in the entire world, you're the ONLY person I will apologize to for being myself. I need you in my life, and I can't imagine a life worth living if you're not in it. But day after day, time after time, I do my best as a friend to help you grow up the way your parents wouldn't let you. If you don't want to grow up, if you don't want to learn these life lessons the easy way from me, please tell me. You never learn. Even the basic 'seatbelt before you start your car' lesson isn't important enough for you to learn from me. Obviously you can't see that these things are to help you. I snap like a twig when you leave your cell phone on the very edge of the table, next to a glass of water whose condensation is surrounding it by a 3-inch area; but when someone steals your phone, or it gets water damage and you can't afford to replace it.......it's not my fault. Now, when you protect your phone from water or mean people, you won't have any heartache over a wet/stolen phone. And you will have avoided that hurt because of me. I'm your best friend, your wifey, and I'm trying to play mommy. I'm sorry if it hurts, I'm sorry if it makes you want to leave me sometimes. But if you stop and really listen when I explain why it upsets me, you really will see that I'm trying to help you. Protect you from stupid mistakes. I know you can't hide from the world forever [but I'm still trying to] but stupid shit can easily be avoided. You know, of all people, about how often I fuck up my own life and I'm trying to keep you from doing it. Instead you sit there like a beaten puppy and stare at me, confused as all hell as to why I would get mad. PLEASE, is it so much to ask for you to stop, walk away, and think why I might be mad? It pisses me off so much to see a 19 year old girl unable to deal with another person being unhappy.
You need to gain some thicker skin. Every person has been sweet to you, has sucked up to you, told you how perfect and amazing you are. When you're told otherwise, it hurts you ALOT more than it should. Look at Scott! He is sweet to you, sweeter than almost any guy you've ever talked about! He would do alot to make you happy. But because that "spark" [which is purely sexual attraction that makes you feel out of control, and is worse for you in the end, and I'll explain why if you ever ask] but I know you're attracted to him, I know you like him, and he's great for you. If you fuck this up, I'll fuck you up child. I don't know where I'm going with this.
In smiple terms: I LOVE you, I need you. My anger stems from your stubborn attitude towards life lessons, and the fact that you act the same age you look, 15. I get very hurt when you don't understand that my anger towards you is because your 'puppy eyes' piss me off, and that I've cried because you won't learn important things that will save you from heartache. It hurts me, and I know it hurts you and I'm sorry. Just, I ask ONE thing.....STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER THAT IVE JUST BEATEN, AND STOP ASKING ME "ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU MAD?"