Member: Alyeska
hopeful

Alyeska the gods wait to delight in you

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AUGUST 3, 2010 @ 09:35 AM | 8 COMMENTS


Hi guys.
I'm still in Arizona, having a wonderful time!
I just wanted to take a moment and apologize that I'm in the queue, with so little time apart from sets. I submitted the set before I left for Arizona, and thought it would take some time before it got accepted. I'm used to it taking ages, and the queue being super long. =[ I'm trying to correct it and hopefully have the date changed. I REALLY don't want to be 'THAT' hopeful, ya know? So, please don't be too angry

=]

Anyways, I need to go and get everything prepared. I shoot with LORELEI TOMORROW! Weeeeeeeeee.
Excited. So yeah, need to go and get that stuff done and then join my hubby for his tattoo.

XOXOXO
Aly

p.s. if you're in Arizona, get ahold of me! I'm leaving the northern part the day after the Blood Into Wine showing.
JULY 30, 2010 @ 12:09 AM | 8 COMMENTS


This is my last blog before Arizona.
I leave around 2-5pm today.
[depends on what work says]

I have a 20 hour drive ahead of me with the hubs.
I couldn't be more excited.
I'm sooooo excited.
Soooo much fun stuff going on.

My shoot with Lorelei is August 4th.
I don't want to spoil the surprise and tell you the theme but it's SOOOO hot.
One hint : Maynard

Anyways, I will check my comments and messages on my blackberry, so feel free to leave me some love.

I will have soooo many pictures to show you.
Also, I submitted my newest set tonight, hopefully it gets accepted in MR. I don't want to clog MR but I wanted to submit it before my set with Lorelei. I hope none of the sweet hopefuls here think I'm trying to be an MR clogger. I emailed Rambo about maybe queuing it for a later date.

XOXOXO
Alyeska
JULY 28, 2010 @ 02:49 PM | 14 COMMENTS


So I'm trying to afford a bottle of wine from Merkin Vineyards. It's pretty pricey.
So for those of you on MGF, or interested in seeing me live on cam,
I'm offering another SG DEAL!
Currently, MGF members are being offered everything I have for $50, but I'll offer it to you for $30.
PM me for details on the videos ;D
They get pretty dirty!!! ;D

MYGIRLFUND'S LADYJUNEAU

PM me here for the special SG codeword!
If you already own some of my content on MGF, I'm totally willing to offer you more than 1/2 off of anything else you wanna see.
I will seriously go into dirty details about the videos if you PM me!
JULY 26, 2010 @ 08:27 AM | 12 COMMENTS


The 365 will be re-started. Jaxy's dedication to completing her 30 day meme made me want to do it. For now, let's see if I can make it a month. I'll be starting a blogspot most likely, and posting the link here. I don't want to post them all in my attachments. I might post them every week in a 365 folder here. But the blog will be updated more often.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Today I get my eyebrows done, and start packing. Then I have a meeting with the cunt I saw in the ER in Temple. I swear to god, I was so desperate for immediate temporary help for my anxiety, I went to the ER half an hour away. And after SIX hours of waiting, including a nap in a trauma room, this bitch sits there and mocks me with stupid shit like "I can't just pull out my magical harry potter wand and make it all better." No shit you buttfucking piece of crap. I've seen better psychiatrists than you, and plenty of them. I know how this works. And she ran me around in fucking circles, when all I wanted was some fucking xanax to get me through the stress of the next few weeks. Yes, I'm happy and excited for my vacation. But the stress of planning and taking care of everything all alone, and then knowing my husband leaves soon.....I think I deserve something to take the edge off. So I see her again today, this time with a good night's sleep and a fresh attitude to let her know wtf is up. Then off to my therapist. I like her though. She's the one who told me to resort to the ER if I seriously feel that desperate. That I needed medication as soon as yesterday, lol. I may cry when I talk to her, and she may try to get me to listen to some audio spa health journeys crap that makes me feel too hippie-ish. But I like her. She always makes me feel like I'm justified to be stressed, and scared, and hurt. She really makes me feel strong. After that? Laundry, packing, schedule hair cut, nails need filled, email a ton of people, try and reserve my bottle of wine for the shoot [god I hope I can get it] cleaning the apartment, washing the truck windshield [tar buildup is almost enough to make me quit smoking] more cleaning of the apartment variety, scrapbooking, etc etc etc etc. Ugh, the to do list is huge, and I have a seperate one just for me and my girly to-do craaapppp.



So, to make myself feel better I'm gonna copy one of my favorite hopefuls and show you some of my favorite things right now that really make me feel better.
ENJOY.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

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my husband
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reekie
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my goggy
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my teddy bear
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my strength
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chris mccandless
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packing [yes i own this luggage set]
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slab city and salvation mountain
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i want a corgi named Stryker
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pumpkin candles ftw om nom nom
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uffie
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jerome, az
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anchorage
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=]
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BLOCK LEAVE FTW!
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and of course, THIS ^^^
weeeeeee
im such a happy girl today.



have a good monday.
my husband is home. very early.
time to live.

XOXO

JULY 25, 2010 @ 06:42 AM | 12 COMMENTS


I need the motivation to try and start a 365 project again.
Really badly. It doesn't help that it's next to impossible to take a good self-portrait with my rebel unless you have a tripod and other crap.

I need to make a new video for SG. I've spent so much time making them for MGF, I forgot about you guys. =[ Poo on that.

This is a short blog. Going to breakfast at Dead Fish Grill which is an hour away and my husband doesn't fucking listen when I say I need time to wake the fuck up.
But we also have a SHIT TON to do today. We leave in 6 days. ^_^
I will blog as often as I can between chores and errands.

I can't explain how excited I am just to meet Lorelei. =] I'm sure everyother hopeful gets all stoked and excited and giddy too. But still. This is SO exciting to me. biggrin

One last thing that makes me happy......seeing Nixon's set at SOTD!!!! eeekI LOVE IT! I'm so happy. I really do feel like SG is finding itself again.

XOXO
Alyeska kiss
JULY 23, 2010 @ 01:54 PM | 6 COMMENTS


GUESS WHO'S BACK!
BACK AGAIN!
ALY'S BACK!
[tell a friend]

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Fuck yeah!
This was shot back in December, and I'm super happy to finally have it in!
I'm so excited to be back in the queue and to have my account back, lol.

I have one more set to submit, but I want to wait until JUST before I leave to Arizona.
That way I'm not spamming the queue......I hope.

Anyways, I head to ARIZONA on the 1st.
I'll be in Prescott/Jerome/Sedona and the surrounding area from the 1st thru the 4th.
On the 4th I head to Joshua Tree to shoot with Lorelei, and then staying at a nice hotel in Palm Springs.
Head back on the 5th.
On the 9th I head to PHX for a few hours or more, I believe.
And then I'm in Tucson until the 14th.

IF YOU'RE IN AZ, LETS GET TOGETHER!
I need to meet more people ;D

If I get lucky, we're headed out Friday if work lets my hubby sign out early, instead of midnight on Sunday morning. It's an 18 hour drive, mostly through bumfuck Tex-ass. I'm just so excited. I seriously can't fucking wait for this trip. So many exciting things going on I can't fucking comprehend it.

I'm happy, we'll leave it at that.

Also, I'm getting really sick of being thrown around in circles trying to get some anti-anxiety meds. It's getting REALLY REALLY old, and now it's hurting my husband.

Anyways, I need to go and start preparing shit for the trip. Laundry weekend, gotta be packed by Friday!
xoxo
Alyeska

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JULY 19, 2010 @ 08:14 PM | 9 COMMENTS


So apparently I still had today! haha, oops.
Don't worry, I'm sure my set will be accepted into MR soon! Otherwise, I will probably end up paying for a month. I spend WAY too much time on SG not to have it anymore.

Also, our land rover decided the current brake shoe wasn't good enough and then firestone decided to bust up the fucking caliper or some shit. My husband is really stressing out. We may be putting our ENTIRE vacation on a credit card. =[ He offered to sell his rifle and I told him no. He's lost enough toys because of me. But yeah, it has NOT been a good week for us, financially. Rental cars are fucking pricey.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

And one last word before I leave you for a day or two, I think ANY FUCKING PERSON who reads this blog without an SG need account needs to keep their big fucking noses out of my business. Don't like that I'm on MGF, say it to my face, or ATLEAST over text, not facebook you fucking coward. And ANYONE, family, friends, or even exs who think my husband deserves better than me can fucking talk to him about it. I don't give a hairy rat's asshole about what you think. I'm a DAMN good wife, a better one than you are/will be. And my husband knows that if he has a problem with anything I do or say, he can come to me and we fix it. And YES HE KNOWS IM AN "INTERNET STRIPPER" AND DOESN'T MIND THAT I DON'T HAVE "A REAL JOB." Honestly, working a retail panty store ISNT a real job. Talk to me when you make it through two years of college without dropping out, and a "massage therapist" isn't a real fucking job either. Grow up. Men are paying you to grope them for an hour. Ya'll really crack me up. Ask my husband any time, he'll gladly tell you that he's is fucking happy with me.

I get naked on the internet, and usually make money from it. Deal with it. Feel free to stalk my blog all you like. Feel free to hide behind facebook with your catty comments that you and your girlfriends sit around and gossip about because you have no life. Btw, pregnancy is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR CHILDISH ACTIONS.



for those of you who don't know, my sister-in-law decided that because she's with child, she can tell me how to be a wife and how to treat her brother. never bothered to ask her brother if he cares that im on MGF, but ill have plenty more to say about it in a few days.

XOXO
Be back soon!
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its fun being 16!

JULY 18, 2010 @ 07:39 AM | 9 COMMENTS


Tomorrow I lose my account.
I have a set pending review, but I only submitted it Wednesday night. Or maybe Thursday. But it's been recently. I was hoping it would be accepted in time to re-new my account, since I still have another set to share and a shoot with Lorelei next month.
=[ I know I'll have the account back, but I might be gone a whole day or two. And some girls don't get their sets accepted for weeks. Poo. Big time poo.

I don't want anyone to think I left you guys without saying goodbye. It's just a temporary issue, is all. I'll be back. Hopefully I don't have to buy a month to keep it going until my set is in. =/

Wish my set luck, and me as well I guess.
I just hope it doesn't take too long.
JULY 15, 2010 @ 12:20 PM | 6 COMMENTS


No matter what happens.
No matter where I go, what I do, or what I say....

I will always love my husband.
I will always try my hardest to put him before everyone and everything else,
including myself.
I may fail, but I'm always trying. Hard.
He is my everything.
And he may have his failures as well, but I have been, and always will be, ready and willing to stand by his side and love him, and support him, and help him.

And even if he hurts me, on accident or on purpose, I will always dream of him,
Always think of him,
Fantasize about him,
and LOVE him.

No matter what.
JULY 11, 2010 @ 12:56 AM | 19 COMMENTS


Thank you everyone who gave me support in my last blog.
I read every comment, realized how badly it needed done, and closed my eyes.
What I saw when I closed my eyes is what drove me to finally make the call.
I saw the look in my husband's face when I say hurtful things. blackeyed

I made the call, and after determining that I was eligible for OneSource care, I was tranferred over to a consultant. She was a very very kind lady who asked a lot of questions, some that hurt to answer. I'm going to tell you some of the questions she asked, and some of my answers underneath a spoiler. Feel free to read, I don't mind.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

What are you seeking care for?
Anxiety. Stress. Depression.
What triggered you to make this call today?
I have wanted to make the call for weeks, but I'm so horribly afraid of making phone calls. Last night I ended up fighting with my husband and told him I was going to leave him several times and I don't know why. I decided that this was it and I needed to start seeing someone again.
How much has your issue [stress/axiety] kept your from your daily activities; such as getting out of bed, going out shopping, going out for dinner...etc?
I don't leave the house much. I struggle to get out of bed or to get to sleep. I hate going to get groceries alone, even though it's something I can do while my husband is at work, but I'm afraid to leave the house without him. I'm pretty unable to shower without needing to build up my motivation for it, same with chores.

I can't think of anything else.
She was so sweet and supportive. She would pull the textbook crap about how much courage it took to make the phonecall and everything. She said that it sounds like I've gained a mild case of agoraphobia. But I'm sure this shitty town doesn't help. So many shootings and rapes and abductions going on, I HATE going outside without my husband.



She eventually saved the info I gave her, and connected me with another girl in my area who was supposed to get me an appointment with somone. My 'consultant' stayed on the line on mute, which she told me, but the other girl was a CUNT with a capitol fucking C. So on Monday I should get a phone call to set up my first of 11 appointments, until I need to be bridged over into Tricare which should be easy. So even if I have to pause it for my trip to Arizona and California, I'm going to feel better just for making progress.

So I heared back from Lorelei last night. August 4th is the date! blush I cannot fucking wait either. I've been doing a little excersize and dieting to feel better about it. I know I don't need it but it's gonna make a huge difference in how I feel. Everything is set. The theme is 100% good and I've got the gun and wine as well. ^_^ So that's awesome. And I'm getting new tattoos in Arizona. Thinking about joining the SGAZ group since I have a crush on two AZ girls.

Anyways, I'm gonna make coffee and edit some photos before I shower. Think I'm gonna stay up as long as I can, take a nap, and relax tomorrow. I'm pretty sunburnt from fishing, and I just got my period so I'm in a LAME ASS mood and in a ton of fucking pain. So yeah, coffee and photo editing and showers.....YAY. Submitting a new set in a few days! YAYAYAYAY! I love my photoshopers.

Here's some funny photos from my vacation in may [i owe you guys those photos]
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