Figured I should share something with you guys that ISN'T fangirling over attractive men for once.

I ended up deleting about 12 paragraphs of updates, complaints, and thoughts. I just don't feel right about what I wrote. I guess I just don't feel like this is the place for that anymore.

I leave for Germany in 40 days. IM STILL IN THE USA RIGHT NOW. I'm getting very sad about moving. The reality has hit me. No one around me is seeing the reality of the situation. I'm expected to be happy, excited, and almost care free. The reality is harsh, and everyone I try to talk to refuses to stop and think about it.

As a person with an anxiety disorder, as well as social anxiety AND possible Asperger's Syndrome, a brand new culture is a scary thing. Exciting, yes. But still scary. I'm leaving the place I've always known as home. Leaving my friends and family. It's an exciting adventure that I wouldn't miss for the world, but this is the time to be sad. Right now. This is my time to cry and be scared and afraid. I'm allowed that. And I don't want to hear anymore "I bet you're excited!"s or "There's no reason to be afraid."s until I'm in Germany. There are many reasons to be sad, afraid, and stressed. As a human, I'm allowed those emotions.

I'll be in Denver Feb 8/9-11. I don't know which day we leave. I'm pretty excited to see my dad again. And it's the Avalanche's military appreciation night. Discounted tickets FTW! I'll be wearing my Alyeska jersey and my husband will be in my new Roy jersey. I can't wait. Husband and I have never flown anywhere together before. YAY! Hopefully we can find someone to doggysit Bryzly though.

Bryzly just got microchipped and had her rabies shot the other day. She jerked, but didn't cry or whine or anything. She's so tough, like me. =]

That's all I want to talk about now. Thank you all for the love on Everlasting Light. I'm STILL getting comments on it, and it's more amazing than I could have asked for. I think my percentage may make it to 97% some day ^_^ I love you all!

Have some gifs.







3D Reekie ass for those of you who keep begging for it.

Have a good day.
xoxoxoxo Alyeska



P.S. Altiar and Malik as Vancouver's Green Men with Al-Mualim in the box (that you can't see) lol.
Jesus christ I love tumblr sometimes.