My grandmother:

She was a concert pianist, an architect, a painter, and a writer. She traveled the whole world twice, spoke seven languages, and celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary a few years ago. Her name was Dulce; I called her Ibu (this apparently stems from the time she lived in Indonesia). She was smart as a whip.
She scared me plenty for awhile; she and my grandfather were devoted members of the Church of Christ, and I was hiding the fact I was dating a woman. They were very judgmental, and but very loving.

I miss this woman very much. I feel privileged to say I was related to her.

Now, in other news:


Everyone else who lives in this house is away on a trip down to North Carolina for my cousin's wedding reception. This leaves me alone in the house from yesterday till Tuesday (at least part of Tuesday, perhaps most). I don't like this much time to myself, especially since work won't pick up again until next Tuesday.

This time alone has highlighted something: I need best friends.
Certainly my boyfriend is my best friend, but I need more than him.

You see, I put all my eggs in one basket. I usually do that. In this case, I was spending most of my friend-type free time with Amanda (remember her?) and her man, Jimmy. Just before I went away on vacation (in the same week my father decided to tell me he was the son of god, hence the need for a major psychiatric evaluation), these two fucked up quite a bit. For the second time, no less. They hurt my man more than me, but really, that's enough in itself.
As yet, I haven't had a chance to talk with them (especially her) to air out how pissed I am at them. Meanwhile, we're simply not talking at all.

So now I'm alone for a few days, too poor to do much of anything. I need friends to hang out with, ones to cry on because my grandmother is dead and my father is bipolar. I have a couple I talk to on the phone plenty, one who is living in Georgia and one, my favorite, who is a theater technician touring the country. Thing is, I also need a hug. This makes the phone a little inconvenient. I love the conversation, but I need someone nearby.

But who can I see?
I have my old best friend from high school and we still love each other plenty. We see each other so infrequently now, which I feel horridly guilty about. Every time I see her, I want to apologize for all the time I haven't seen her. Of course, there's only so much I can see her given my schedule. I miss her plenty, and we could get closer again. I fear I would only fall out of touch again.

I can be a bad friend.
Of course, I can also be a very good friend. If you are my new friend, and we click, I'm the best friend you've ever had.

I'm evil like that.

And lastly:
By the end of the night, I will have a new computer, more privately located. Say yay for me!


Love to you.

My grandmother is dead.

This has caused a halt in my plans for more epic bouts of creativity.

She was an incredible woman, and she's gone. I didn't get to see her before she went. We weren't as close as we could have been due to religious differences. I always loved and respected her. She amazed me and amazes me still. I miss her already.

The funeral is in the Dominican Republic.

This will be an interesting week.

Life is dramatic. Sometimes, necessarily. Other times, it's just obnoxious. I've had some of both.

But, on with the project. I got stalled because I got stuck. I wanted to write something for Greaser but had a brain fart every time I sat down to write.

My friend, I finally have a little something. It needs work. I may even have to write something else. Meanwhile, there's this:

Love to you, my friend.

I'm reading it over now, and I think I might hate it, but that's for me to decide tomorrow. The point it to keep creating and keep pushing.
There are more to come. Some more poems, some other stuff too. It's by time there's some other stuff.

Toodles, loves.

My peeps!

The project is still on, it just got DELAYED by some silly drama. Not here drama, RL drama. I'll see if I can force creativity a couple of times before I leave for vacation on Saturday, but it may be difficult because my friends are finally reading my play for me ("David's Gods", not "Something Like Love") on Wednesday night. This means I'll be deep in rewrite territory till I leave.

Hopefully, I'll have another post up by the end of the day with something neat for one of you ladies or gents.

Love all!

EDIT: No, no new creative bursts tonight. And tomorrow has other required forced creativity (remember me promising someone a song once? Now I've got to finish it and find some way to record it. By Wednesday, Thursday at the absolute latest. Fun. And no, you can't hear it. It's very private). I'll make it, I will.

First, because he might be away for good now, this is for my dear friend Sid.
Please don't read into it. Just know it's yours if you want it.

With love, Allegro.
I'll miss you, but I can't keep you here like you kept me here. And I understand.

Now if there are any of you who do not want one, please let me know now.

The show was quite intense. Working on it stole my mind and my body from me for two weeks. Now it's all over.

It's strange. I've never worked on any single project as long as we were working on this show (close to two years). It's true most work was at the end, which is to be expected, but it was there in our consciousness for so long. Then two performances and it's over.

My body needed the break, so I'm glad. The work itself was some of the most demanding I've ever experienced, so subtle and so precise. Having both shows be sold out makes it feel worth it, as does the sensation of performing it. Now my life is mine again.

As such, I'm catching up with friends, and apparently making new ones. I'm ridiculously close with Amanda's J now. He opened up to me in a big way and definitely needs the friend. It makes everything just a bit more interesting. It also means he trusts me now, so there's an ok for more play with his lady. We'll see how that goes. At the moment, I think she's less ready for that. We can wait...

On the subject of catching up with friends, I just read through my entire blog, starting February '07. Wow. Some things definitely stick out:

1. I mention marriage here once per thousand words. What's up with that?
2. I can get awfully wordy.
3. People really like my creative work (poems, stories, songs, plays, etc.), which still surprises the hell out of me.
4. I have some great friends here.

So I have a project I want to set upon. It will result in more creative work.
If you're the sort who has been a good friend, one who has commented on work, inspired work, and the like, there may be a piece for you.

Now PLEASE don't expect these pieces to reflect on you in any way. You know my stuff, it can get a little depressing. I may write something and simply attach your name to it. Also, I can't speak for quality. If you don't see yourself right away, don't give up hope: some will be harder than others (and it has nothing to do with how much I like you either).

I simply need to force creativity. Y'all deserve some more. Hopefully, there will be some gems.

I love you guys, really.

And so my show is over.

Also, I am out of work.

First thing first: (make sure you click to see the whole pictures. I posted stuff too big.)

As for the job, I never got my first paycheck. Then the festival got canceled. I never was called or emailed, I found out from the website. Let it be said, I'm poor and a little angry. Also, I have lots of time to clean house, so that's what I've been doing. I'm cleaning like a CRAZY woman.

Update soon!

Love to you.

My hair got redder:

Also, the vegetables got huge:

I'm working this music festival. I'm working box office and acting as a go-fer. It just started. it's called the Ripple Festival, and it's happening in Brooklyn. It was very VERY poorly publicized so no one is coming. The website sucks. Plus, it's too expensive.

This in incredibly unfortunate because the artists are unbe-fuckin'-leivably good. There's 110 artists I've never heard of in a bunch of genres.

Last night was a jazz night. I got to sit in for the second half of the Beaty Brother's Band set.

Oh. My. God.

I forgot how rockin' a great jazz band can be. I was glued to a seat. The drummer was making magic, the guitarist's first solo practically stopped my heart.

I'm thinking, where do these guys come from?

Then I remember it doesn't matter. They're here.
If only more people would hear them.


To answer you,

It IS scary and amazing.
The haircut has been tabled till at least the fall or winter (a friend talked me out of it).
Read "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach.
And I'm glad you smiled.

Oh hell, here's another, just for you!

I'm in a much better place. I can't tell you how I got here, but I'm happy I arrived. It's not great, but I'll never turn down better.

I need to learn some music. Specifically, I need to learn some audition songs. The local theater group I'm most involved with is doing "Company" next spring, I want to play April something fierce. Really, I just want to be in it. Before that will be other shows, and I need something I'm good at to sing for people.

Before I do that, I need to learn the words to the first Three Ladies trio in Magic Flute. I really need to know that by next Monday.

At some point, I need to finish the song I shouldn't be writing in the first place. That one is mostly done. I need to write the bridge, but I have not had the chance. I need to get it out of my system. Maybe then I can rid him from my bones.


Here's an improvised ditty for you (Brand new! Just for you!):

Love to you.

So, ask me something.