So, now we're done! my right arm has been temporarily paralysed, and it's like a piece of meat. the paralysis is, however, wearing off. I think all the morphene in the wold won't stop this from hurting.

Cancelled 2 days in a row. Colour me happy

My elbow is in bits. Any time a bone doctor tells you "it's really pretty bad" you know you've done something awesome.

Going into theatre this afternoon - wish me luck!

I got told to update

so I did.

Remember when we used to care how we looked, every day, when dressing up wasn't just something we did for clubbing, and we used to make an effort?

Maybe it's time to go back to that.

I got single

Stolen from my sky

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.



IF SOMEONE SAYS "YOU'RE HOT" YOU SAY?
No Commands (Children of Bodom [how did this get there?])

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE?
Points of Authority (Linkin Park [luls, that one is mine])

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Faint (Linkin Park [uhhh. Yeah, also mine])

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LONG GOAL?
Invisible Wounds (Fear Factory)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I'm not working (manic street preachers)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Respect (Pink [Not mine...Honest])

WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
Schism (Tool)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO LIKES YOU?
Burly Bomb (Juno Reactor Vs Don Davis)

WHAT DOES YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS SAY TO YOU?
Torn Apart (Stabbing Westwood)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
No one knows (QOTSA)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
Gimme Stitches (Foo fighters)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
How To Disappear Completely (Radiohead)

WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
City Hall (Tenacious D)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Why do you love me? (Garbage)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HOUSE?
Autumn - movement II (Vivaldi)

I saw VNV on sunday.

They were obscenely amazingly super great.

That is all.

Disclaimer:
This is going to be one of those semi-introspective things that I'm typing because I can, not because you might want to read it. It's also going to be badly written, because it's 3:15, and I'm not in the mood for eloquence.

But read it anyway.



I've been thinking about love in general, and romantic love in specific.
I was looking at my SG friends list, and it occurred to me that I love, in that romantic, could easily spend a large chunk of my life with you kind of way, at least 2 of the people on that list. I have what I'd call strong emotional ties and physical attraction two at least 2 more of them.

And my girlfriend, who I also love, isn't even on the list.

So that's 3+ definitely loves, 2+ easily could loves.
There's also 1 "really want to, emotions be damned", but lust is something I've come to terms with just being something I deal with in larger amounts than most.

I can't decide whether it's unusual to feel the way I do about multiple people, or whether I'm just being more honest about how I feel than is the norm.

I've also been thinking about types of love.

It's certainly possibly to fall in love with someone you're not overwhelmed by through repeated contact and lots of sex. It seems to produce a kind of placid, gentle love - the kind that can make you whisper "I love you" across a pillow, but not the kind of thing that would make you take truly ridiculous risks for another second with your loved one.

It's certainly possibly to become friends with someone, and then just keep growing closer to them, with physical intimacy coming later. I seem to have a predilection for this, and the people it happened with will, I hope, still be as close in twenty years as they are now (especially if we get to talk more often. You know who you are).

I feel like there's something missing from the two types I've written about above. I'm sure there should be someone, somewhere, with whom things just click. Where I can't tell the difference between which part of our relationship is lust, love or friendship. Every know and then I've glimpsed that intense, burning kind of connection, and wondered if there's a way to take it and make it last a whole relationship, or a whole lifetime.

I really hope so.

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

--Wallace Stevens