So since I've been back, I've noticed something about SG. The comments on the girls photo's are a lot more explicit than they used to be. Maybe it's my memories playing tricks on me, but I don't remember their being lots of comments about wanting to so-and-so in the ass or "needing" to suck on someone's tits. I realize that this is site features girls taking off their clothes, and I also know that if the person in question doesn't complain, then maybe I'm off-kilter to be annoyed by it.
I just think it's disrespectful. I know that you'd never really compliment a stranger on her body in real life (at least not without the expectation of getting slapped), but at the same time, a lot of comments are just treating the person in the photograph like a piece of meat. And it's one thing to say a set is incredible, or even that a particular body part is beautiful. I'm not a prude I don't think. But graphic statements of wanting to fuck someone or do some physical violence to them? Really? I try and be open minded about it, but I can't make myself see it as kosher.
Is it just me? I the past respectfulness of years gone by just a rosy glass kaleidescope? Is it silly of me to think that you'd want to treat someone who poses for a naked website with the respect you'd treat a friend (I know wording it like that makes it seem obvious, but I'm curious if there are actually opinions to the contrary)?
I just think it's disrespectful. I know that you'd never really compliment a stranger on her body in real life (at least not without the expectation of getting slapped), but at the same time, a lot of comments are just treating the person in the photograph like a piece of meat. And it's one thing to say a set is incredible, or even that a particular body part is beautiful. I'm not a prude I don't think. But graphic statements of wanting to fuck someone or do some physical violence to them? Really? I try and be open minded about it, but I can't make myself see it as kosher.
Is it just me? I the past respectfulness of years gone by just a rosy glass kaleidescope? Is it silly of me to think that you'd want to treat someone who poses for a naked website with the respect you'd treat a friend (I know wording it like that makes it seem obvious, but I'm curious if there are actually opinions to the contrary)?
Goin' up to the parents house for the next few days for Christmas. Just wanted to wish everyone on here a happy holiday week. Ciao for now!
I hate winter. I hate snow, I hate skiing, I hate snowboarding and chairlifts and people who go ice-fishing. I hate the wind, the wind the makes you feel naked no matter how many layers you have on. I hate Christmas, the fake cheer and the fucking Christmas carols. Oh, how I loathe the Christmas carols.
Every year this happens, and I every year I ask myself why I am here. I know that deep down it's cause of my sick father; I can't really leave anywhere and miss the last few years of his life. But on days like this, I'm really tempted to put my British passport to good use and move to the Cayman Islands.
Every year this happens, and I every year I ask myself why I am here. I know that deep down it's cause of my sick father; I can't really leave anywhere and miss the last few years of his life. But on days like this, I'm really tempted to put my British passport to good use and move to the Cayman Islands.
We all like to think that living in Canada, we're a free and egalitarian society, one that doesn't succumb to base and crass accounts of humanity that Racist thinking provides. But over the last few weeks, I've seen and/or heard a number of instances that have made me realize that assuming we're not racist really opens the door for racist thinking to reemerge.
As some of you know, I'm back as a university student at York. Walking to class about two weeks ago, I ended up walking behind these two kids, neither of whom could have been older than 19. As we were all walking the path toward the building my class was in, another two kids walked by in the opposite direction. The young man was white, the girl black. They were holding hands and smiling at one another.
As the couple passed, one of the kids in front of me snickered. Once out of earshot of the couple, the one kid turned to the other and made a blatantly racist comment (It's been a few weeks, and I don't remember the wording anymore. Suffice to say that it was something about the fact that they were an interracial couple was depleting the gene pool or some such nonsense). The other laughs, respond with an equally racist comment agreeing with the "fact" that interracial dating is wrong. I said something to them and they told me to mind my own business, and they told me they weren't being racist. Simply because they were both black. The kid told me that he was protecting his cultural heritage. (the language wasn't so pretty, but that's what it amounted to). I told them that it was still racist and then headed off to class. I doubt I made much of an impact.
It's something I hear far too often for my liking. This person can't date that person, because he's Mexican/black/indian etc., and we're Spanish/Portugeese/Italian/whatever. To the mind of the person speaking, it's not racism, it's simply following cultural traditions. If you're a Spaniard, you're expected to marry a Spaniard. It's what the family wants, and after all, family is everything.
And it extends beyond relationships. At my school, we have Taiwanese student associations, Black accountants, Hispanics for Christ, etc. etc. While I understand and appreciate that cultural heritage is important to people, all that ends up happening is self-segregation. Pockets of isolated, unchanging culture that breeds this kind of racist mentality.
The problem is that couching racist tendencies in "culture" doesn't make it not racist. I'm all for not judging other cultures based on your own; but there are things that transcend culture. Realistically speaking, it's anything the prohibits people from being seen as anything other than a human being. Anything that turns a person into an 'other', and consequently into less than you, is flat-out wrong. And especially amongst the youth culture in Canada,it's only getting worse.
I grew up in a primarily white community. I also wasn't brought up with a great degree of "Indian culture". I mean I like curry, but so does most of the United Kingdom. I think there have been two consequences of this. One is that when I encounter other brown people here at University or at work, the automatic assumption is that I speak Hindi and participate in the same lifestyle they do. When they discover I don't, it's almost as if I've become an object of disdain or ridicule, because I'm not brown enough. As if there exists some standard definition of 'brown' to which I must uphold. It's a treatment that I start to internalize without even realizing it. I mean, my father is German, the Baron Von Muhr. That, technically speaking, makes me descended from German nobility, and also a knight of the Holy Roman Empire. I think that's pretty cool (I'm glad that nobility in Germany no longer infers any kind of rights or special treatment, but being a hereditary knight I think is neat), but for the longest time I wouldn't say anything to anyone about it, because of my outward skin colour. How can I possibly be a European knight when I'm brown?
The second consequence of my upbringing is who I tend to be attracted to. For 60-80% of my growing up, I only ever encountered white women, so naturally as I reached puberty and began to see girls as women, my attraction skewed toward white. The same kind of attraction via socialization occurs in communities and countries all over the world. But I understood that there were beautiful women in all sorts ethnic backgrounds, and once I as an adult moved into more culturally diverse areas, I began to see and meet those women firsthand.
But the stigma of me being brown and attracted to a white woman still remains. Just as it must for plenty of other people who refuse to limit themselves to their own skin colour. But in Canada, here today, I still think that that kind of open-mindness is the minority. One of the most beautiful woman I've ever met is a Native American. Not only is she beautiful, but she's whip smart and an incredibly talented artist. Yet, I can't help but wonder how much she's been held back due to her ethnicity. Had she painted water-lillies or wheat fields, would her work be in people's homes, above their coffee tables or kitchen counters? She's beautiful, but how many beautiful Aboriginal women do you see in the media? Our proud multi-cultural country seems to be devoid of aboriginal newscasters or talk show hosts. And no one even seems to notice.
I don't expect this to be rallying cry for people to march down Yonge Street demanding an end to the implicit racsicm that seems so pervasive in our culture. I just want people to be aware that it exists, and when you tell racist jokes, or comment about an inter racial couple, that it has an impact on the society in which you live. It's difficult for me, because I understand the importance of culture, but simultaneously think strict adherence to one's own culture is the enemy of peace between cultures. I don't have any answers, just concerns.
As some of you know, I'm back as a university student at York. Walking to class about two weeks ago, I ended up walking behind these two kids, neither of whom could have been older than 19. As we were all walking the path toward the building my class was in, another two kids walked by in the opposite direction. The young man was white, the girl black. They were holding hands and smiling at one another.
As the couple passed, one of the kids in front of me snickered. Once out of earshot of the couple, the one kid turned to the other and made a blatantly racist comment (It's been a few weeks, and I don't remember the wording anymore. Suffice to say that it was something about the fact that they were an interracial couple was depleting the gene pool or some such nonsense). The other laughs, respond with an equally racist comment agreeing with the "fact" that interracial dating is wrong. I said something to them and they told me to mind my own business, and they told me they weren't being racist. Simply because they were both black. The kid told me that he was protecting his cultural heritage. (the language wasn't so pretty, but that's what it amounted to). I told them that it was still racist and then headed off to class. I doubt I made much of an impact.
It's something I hear far too often for my liking. This person can't date that person, because he's Mexican/black/indian etc., and we're Spanish/Portugeese/Italian/whatever. To the mind of the person speaking, it's not racism, it's simply following cultural traditions. If you're a Spaniard, you're expected to marry a Spaniard. It's what the family wants, and after all, family is everything.
And it extends beyond relationships. At my school, we have Taiwanese student associations, Black accountants, Hispanics for Christ, etc. etc. While I understand and appreciate that cultural heritage is important to people, all that ends up happening is self-segregation. Pockets of isolated, unchanging culture that breeds this kind of racist mentality.
The problem is that couching racist tendencies in "culture" doesn't make it not racist. I'm all for not judging other cultures based on your own; but there are things that transcend culture. Realistically speaking, it's anything the prohibits people from being seen as anything other than a human being. Anything that turns a person into an 'other', and consequently into less than you, is flat-out wrong. And especially amongst the youth culture in Canada,it's only getting worse.
I grew up in a primarily white community. I also wasn't brought up with a great degree of "Indian culture". I mean I like curry, but so does most of the United Kingdom. I think there have been two consequences of this. One is that when I encounter other brown people here at University or at work, the automatic assumption is that I speak Hindi and participate in the same lifestyle they do. When they discover I don't, it's almost as if I've become an object of disdain or ridicule, because I'm not brown enough. As if there exists some standard definition of 'brown' to which I must uphold. It's a treatment that I start to internalize without even realizing it. I mean, my father is German, the Baron Von Muhr. That, technically speaking, makes me descended from German nobility, and also a knight of the Holy Roman Empire. I think that's pretty cool (I'm glad that nobility in Germany no longer infers any kind of rights or special treatment, but being a hereditary knight I think is neat), but for the longest time I wouldn't say anything to anyone about it, because of my outward skin colour. How can I possibly be a European knight when I'm brown?
The second consequence of my upbringing is who I tend to be attracted to. For 60-80% of my growing up, I only ever encountered white women, so naturally as I reached puberty and began to see girls as women, my attraction skewed toward white. The same kind of attraction via socialization occurs in communities and countries all over the world. But I understood that there were beautiful women in all sorts ethnic backgrounds, and once I as an adult moved into more culturally diverse areas, I began to see and meet those women firsthand.
But the stigma of me being brown and attracted to a white woman still remains. Just as it must for plenty of other people who refuse to limit themselves to their own skin colour. But in Canada, here today, I still think that that kind of open-mindness is the minority. One of the most beautiful woman I've ever met is a Native American. Not only is she beautiful, but she's whip smart and an incredibly talented artist. Yet, I can't help but wonder how much she's been held back due to her ethnicity. Had she painted water-lillies or wheat fields, would her work be in people's homes, above their coffee tables or kitchen counters? She's beautiful, but how many beautiful Aboriginal women do you see in the media? Our proud multi-cultural country seems to be devoid of aboriginal newscasters or talk show hosts. And no one even seems to notice.
I don't expect this to be rallying cry for people to march down Yonge Street demanding an end to the implicit racsicm that seems so pervasive in our culture. I just want people to be aware that it exists, and when you tell racist jokes, or comment about an inter racial couple, that it has an impact on the society in which you live. It's difficult for me, because I understand the importance of culture, but simultaneously think strict adherence to one's own culture is the enemy of peace between cultures. I don't have any answers, just concerns.
The last couple days have been very up and down.
The Good.
1) I love my friends. I met them when I moved back to Toronto, and started working at the Boston Pizza. The last year of hanging out with them has done a lot for helping from retreating back into my shell.
2) I went to a bar/club place last Friday night. I drank a lot, spent too much, but generally had a good time. Even stopped a fight, which was particularly happy inducing.
The Bad.
1) Found out that my father's cancer is back. Lower intestine's. They're starting Chemotherapy next week, the doctors said that he has a shot, but unfortunately, my dad is on dialysis, has a weak heart and diabetes. Also, no legs. So I'm worried.
2) There is no two. Really, I'm pretty sure 1) is all I can take right now.
The Good.
1) I love my friends. I met them when I moved back to Toronto, and started working at the Boston Pizza. The last year of hanging out with them has done a lot for helping from retreating back into my shell.
2) I went to a bar/club place last Friday night. I drank a lot, spent too much, but generally had a good time. Even stopped a fight, which was particularly happy inducing.
The Bad.
1) Found out that my father's cancer is back. Lower intestine's. They're starting Chemotherapy next week, the doctors said that he has a shot, but unfortunately, my dad is on dialysis, has a weak heart and diabetes. Also, no legs. So I'm worried.
2) There is no two. Really, I'm pretty sure 1) is all I can take right now.
Today is day two of quitting smoking. This morning as opposed to going for a smoke before I started my shift, I ordered a toffee pudding, with two scoops of Ice cream. I then proceeded to smear it with whip cream.
After work I figured it'd be a lovely day to get afternoon drunk. So six shots of tequila and four JD & cokes later, I can safely say mission accomplished. Though I did spend every penny in tips I earned today. Whoops. Good thing I'm doing doubles Wednesday & Thursday. I think what I'm really proud of is getting drunk and not smoking.
I also have no food in my house. Well I do have food, just not things I actually want to eat. I have a can of lima beans and a bottle of honey and hot sauce. Somehow I don't think delicious is going to emerge from that. Need to find someone to give me food
***Addendum*** I offered to help a friend with an essay, so now I get wings and pizza. Who says being smart doesn't have its perks?
Also, I really forgot how much fun this place can be. I've been a member again for a little under 48 hours, and most of my free time has been spent trying to catch myself up. Still not sure how this whole "review" thing works for hopefuls, but I'll figure it out I suppose.
K, off to learn/write about physical geography. And eat tasty wings. Toodles!
After work I figured it'd be a lovely day to get afternoon drunk. So six shots of tequila and four JD & cokes later, I can safely say mission accomplished. Though I did spend every penny in tips I earned today. Whoops. Good thing I'm doing doubles Wednesday & Thursday. I think what I'm really proud of is getting drunk and not smoking.
I also have no food in my house. Well I do have food, just not things I actually want to eat. I have a can of lima beans and a bottle of honey and hot sauce. Somehow I don't think delicious is going to emerge from that. Need to find someone to give me food
***Addendum*** I offered to help a friend with an essay, so now I get wings and pizza. Who says being smart doesn't have its perks?
Also, I really forgot how much fun this place can be. I've been a member again for a little under 48 hours, and most of my free time has been spent trying to catch myself up. Still not sure how this whole "review" thing works for hopefuls, but I'll figure it out I suppose.
K, off to learn/write about physical geography. And eat tasty wings. Toodles!
Hello everyone,
Well I do believe that it's time for me to say goodbye. I no longer use this site on a regular basis, and my life has reached the point where I need to be spending as much time away from the computer as possible.
I no longer live in Toronto, and as such, the great community of people that met along the way I no longer have much contact with. And as the community aspect of this site was always the most important thing, I can no longer justify the expenditure.
I would like to thank everyone that I met here on SG. At times, this site, and you people, were the ones I turned to for emotional support and intellectual stimulation. I wish everyone nothing but the best in their lives, and who knows, maybe one day I'll feel the desire to revisit this place.
But until then, take care.
Martin
Well I do believe that it's time for me to say goodbye. I no longer use this site on a regular basis, and my life has reached the point where I need to be spending as much time away from the computer as possible.
I no longer live in Toronto, and as such, the great community of people that met along the way I no longer have much contact with. And as the community aspect of this site was always the most important thing, I can no longer justify the expenditure.
I would like to thank everyone that I met here on SG. At times, this site, and you people, were the ones I turned to for emotional support and intellectual stimulation. I wish everyone nothing but the best in their lives, and who knows, maybe one day I'll feel the desire to revisit this place.
But until then, take care.
Martin
Hey everyone in SG-land,
I've been super-busy the last few weeks. Exams + Essays= Not a whole lot of free time. That, plus the fact that I know myself and I know I procrastinate easy, so I must leave my computer if I want to get work done.
I've started to excerise more often lately. I noticed that I've been doing lots of studying, and consequently snacking, over the winter. I'm not the proud owner of a gut + mini-love handles. I'm gonna turn into Dale from King of the Hill if I don't try and at least excerise a bit here and there.
I still love my girlfriend tons. There are times when the long distance is really hard. But then I talk to her, and she's funny\sarcastic and I realize how much the effort is worth it. I'm really luck to have her.
Now it's time for me to start looking into summer work. anybody needs a smart, nice and charming guy with no car and a bad back to come work for them in the summer? I didn't think so either. Well, the hunt is on. I have a new roommate. That makes three girls, a young man who lives here part-time, and me. I feel out of touch with hanging out with guys. My friends all live in the country, so I barely see them. Which means either being alone a lot, or enduring countless episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Gilmore Girls.
I think that for sure now I'm going to be in Ottawa come September. I was really disappointed by my experience at York U. Hopefully either Carelton or U of Ottawa will be a better fit for me. I just don't want a piece of paper, want to learn as much about as much as I can. York isn't exactly conducive to that, so I'm switching schools, and by extension, towns.
Every ime I take a look around this site, there are new changes. SG now tells me (and everyone who visits my page) what i like. Currently I like Grosse Pointe Blank (a movie) and Grim Fandago (a video game). True on both accounts I suppose.
Alrighty, back to studying for my Poli Sci exam.
See you all later.
I've been super-busy the last few weeks. Exams + Essays= Not a whole lot of free time. That, plus the fact that I know myself and I know I procrastinate easy, so I must leave my computer if I want to get work done.
I've started to excerise more often lately. I noticed that I've been doing lots of studying, and consequently snacking, over the winter. I'm not the proud owner of a gut + mini-love handles. I'm gonna turn into Dale from King of the Hill if I don't try and at least excerise a bit here and there.
I still love my girlfriend tons. There are times when the long distance is really hard. But then I talk to her, and she's funny\sarcastic and I realize how much the effort is worth it. I'm really luck to have her.
Now it's time for me to start looking into summer work. anybody needs a smart, nice and charming guy with no car and a bad back to come work for them in the summer? I didn't think so either. Well, the hunt is on. I have a new roommate. That makes three girls, a young man who lives here part-time, and me. I feel out of touch with hanging out with guys. My friends all live in the country, so I barely see them. Which means either being alone a lot, or enduring countless episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Gilmore Girls.
I think that for sure now I'm going to be in Ottawa come September. I was really disappointed by my experience at York U. Hopefully either Carelton or U of Ottawa will be a better fit for me. I just don't want a piece of paper, want to learn as much about as much as I can. York isn't exactly conducive to that, so I'm switching schools, and by extension, towns.
Every ime I take a look around this site, there are new changes. SG now tells me (and everyone who visits my page) what i like. Currently I like Grosse Pointe Blank (a movie) and Grim Fandago (a video game). True on both accounts I suppose.
Alrighty, back to studying for my Poli Sci exam.
See you all later.
Long distance relationship are hard.
I love my girlfriend very much. We've been dating on and off for quite a few years now, and I simply adore her. She's beautiful and intelligent and good hearted and passionate and a million other adjectives.
But she's in England. And I live in Toronto, which makes for a very long distance relationship. She's doing her master program in London, and will be done in August, which is great. Except that she's been offered a scholarship to stay in England and do her law degree.
Our original plan was to move to Ottawa together in September, but this new deal further complicates and already complicated situation. A scholarship to go to a law school in England is nothing to scoff at, but at the same it, it means two more years of not seeing her at all. I can't afford to go to school in England, I need to be living there for two years while not in school to qualify for domestic rates. It took me years to go back to school, and I'm afraid if I stop now, I won't start again.
Which means that for the next two years, we'll be living on different continents, neither of us able to afford to visit the other. Neither wants the other sacrifice their schooling opportunities for the other, but how long can we be apart without seeing each other until we're just friends again?
I realize how lucky I am to have her in my life. She's this amazing woman who I'm lucky to have met, let alone call my girlfriend. Yet at the same time, is what we're doing to each other fair to either of us? I just don't know.
I know I'm just whining, that there are people who make long distance relationships work. And right now, ours is working to. Because there was an end to the separation in sight. Who now what will happen in another two years. She already told that she feels distant from me emotionally, not through a lack of effort on either of us' part, it just...happens.
I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I think about it. I don't want, but I can't help it.
Grrr, why does life have to be so frakin' difficult.
I love my girlfriend very much. We've been dating on and off for quite a few years now, and I simply adore her. She's beautiful and intelligent and good hearted and passionate and a million other adjectives.
But she's in England. And I live in Toronto, which makes for a very long distance relationship. She's doing her master program in London, and will be done in August, which is great. Except that she's been offered a scholarship to stay in England and do her law degree.
Our original plan was to move to Ottawa together in September, but this new deal further complicates and already complicated situation. A scholarship to go to a law school in England is nothing to scoff at, but at the same it, it means two more years of not seeing her at all. I can't afford to go to school in England, I need to be living there for two years while not in school to qualify for domestic rates. It took me years to go back to school, and I'm afraid if I stop now, I won't start again.
Which means that for the next two years, we'll be living on different continents, neither of us able to afford to visit the other. Neither wants the other sacrifice their schooling opportunities for the other, but how long can we be apart without seeing each other until we're just friends again?
I realize how lucky I am to have her in my life. She's this amazing woman who I'm lucky to have met, let alone call my girlfriend. Yet at the same time, is what we're doing to each other fair to either of us? I just don't know.
I know I'm just whining, that there are people who make long distance relationships work. And right now, ours is working to. Because there was an end to the separation in sight. Who now what will happen in another two years. She already told that she feels distant from me emotionally, not through a lack of effort on either of us' part, it just...happens.
I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I think about it. I don't want, but I can't help it.
Grrr, why does life have to be so frakin' difficult.
