Will update this tomorrow, so much to write!!

A lot has happened once again..

My little sister is pregnant!! <3

And I handed in my resignation, my last day of work is on the 22nd..

So much of the excitement..

Proper post soon soon..

And so, a lot has happened in Aeson land.

Firstly, the new issue of VIXXEN is out. VIXXEN After much blood, sweat and tears, it out. The result is 98 glorious pages of the usual VIXXEN stuff you have come to expect. Our cover girl Kat Trim is a very gracious, beautiful and talented VIXXEN, and we are delighted and humbled to ahve such an amazing girl on cover!!


In other news, I have made the difficult decision to quit my job. It's been an awesome year there, but all I am doing is mundane layouts for a magazine. Im not even doing real graphic design. Just layouts, restricted by the magazine's look and feel. The only time I can be crative is through VIXXEN, and I have to juggle that with work.

So, after my work deadline this Friday, I am handing in my resignation and moving onto the unemployment phase of my career - my parents will support me for 3 months, until I get back on my feet. After that, its up to me. Im fixing up my portfolio and offering my freelance design and wed design services.

And running VIXXEN, of course That is my baby, and I would never ever be able to give it up. Luckily I still have money from last month, and will have a full salary on the 24th

That should be enough for now.

Things are happening. Change is necessary for growth.

Im amped, bring it on.

i dont have anything to say, this song says it all..

Take a look, you see I painted you a picture
It's black and white, except the blood's a little richer
Down in the corner where I gave it my signature
Then I titled it, "This one's for the winter"
Check it out you see it's just a big disaster

I'll dedicate it to the fact that it's so hard for you to dream
A million heartbeats all around you make it hard to sleep
It doesn't help you're freezing in your bed, your blankets aren't enough
All you want is someone there, and all you say is, "So what"

Love love, kiss kiss...blah blah blah
You're making me sick, I wish you'd just stop showing off
For the rest of us that no one wants to love
It's hard enough trying to drink another winter all alone
Love love, kiss kiss...blah blah blah

Well do you find you like to fall in love with people that you're never gonna meet?
It's easier then breaking up and crying in the street
Do you curse the happy couple? Do you cringe at wedding bells?
Do you drink up all the punch while you wish 'em all to hell?

You can't escape this fatal case of melancholia
It's in your face, in every place you go...it's stalking you
There are days when we all say we feel we just can't go on
But you've felt this way all along

So, loads has happened this week.. namely my life getting fucked up again.

I gotta say that nothing is gettin to me as of late, Im just so blase about everything.

I was having a fling with a friend, kinda like fuck buddies.. So all week he has been so off towards me, now I find out why.. hes also with another girl. Which I totally don't mind, but why be off? I havent even texted him.. anyways its further proof that men are pigs - Im offering him sex with no strings attached (of course, I AM planning for him to fall for me, but he doesnt know that) and then he ignores me? Holy fuck I swear.

Anyways, Tuesday night I went to a club to celebrate a friend's birthday but I had a toothache from hell. Went to the dentist on Wednesday, 2 bottom wisdoms need to come out. Im booked for theater on 21st.. meaning no party that weekend, and there's a tattoo shop opening with awesome bands on the 22nd..

Friday, I picked up my press and media girl (from the mag) and we set off for town, to watch the mighty Henry Rollins.. of course, we were 30mins late cos we got so mad lost in town.. after that we hit a gig and then last night i went to another gig.

Today, our house is on show cos we are selling, and then lunch with my mom.. and then I gotta finish off the mag..

Some photos from a gig 2 weeks ago..

Ah, I've resolved to update more often!

So, I had such an awesome weekend!! Friday night, I went to my friend's house, a dear old friend who is very hot and awesome, we used to kiss when I was 18 and now we are seeing one another! but keepin it on the low down to keep our options open and we dont wanna give people something to talk about.. and then yesterday i woke up later and then went to a punk show with JP ( my best friend as of late) and all my other friends.. Latara and her guy were there, shame she finally got a night off from the baby and came and partied! The boy Im seeing is also there with his new girlfriend but Im cool with it (its been almost a year). He did seem quite miserable though. Then they left to buy coke *rolles eyes*.

Anyways today I slept til 3PM! Then I went to go visit Latara and her guy and the baby!! Then I went to a friend's place close by and watched DVDs it was rad!

Now Im home, sending some emails for the mag and writing this, and then Ima smoke and shower and sleep!

Got a little stoned last night, still dazed hehehe.

Good night, SG world!

Wow I havent updated in a month!

Lots has happened, I guess.

So for those of you who dont know, I got my heart torn out of my ribcage in February. here is a quick story:

I met him end of January through a friend, As soon as we laid eyes on one another, I was a goner. We chatted all night, as if no one else was around, and I ended up going home with him. We spent the next day together, happy as hell. Then that night he told me he's been in an internet relationship with a 19yr old (hes 26) in London for the past year. Via SKYPE. I said ok then I'll walk away, he said he cant let me, that he will explain it to her and break it off. Anyways, he had slept with his ex of 7 years (who is psycho) 2 weeks before he met me and come clean to the little girl in London and she had forgiven him. He told her about me and she cried and manipulated him and he broke it off with me cos he said they'd been together for too long and he was planning to move to London to be with her.

Everyone, including our mutual friends told him not to do it, but he didnt want to listen. At the same time, even though he'd told her he'd broken it off with me, he was still fucking me. I ended it because I couldnt take it anymore and I'm no one's second best. Then I saw him 2 weeks late at a gig and his best friend told me hes inlove with Miss London and that I must let it go. So I hooked up with his friend who was making passes at me - I was drunk and upset. After that night, I erased the boy from my SKYPE, and a week later he erased me from Facebook.

I saw him 2 weeks ago, and again tonight. Turns out he is still with the girl in London, but fucking his ex.

This little story further proves to me that all men are the same - they key is to find someone who's less of an asshole than the others.

Through all of this, I cried, stopped eating and my work and relationships suffered. Then one day, I woke up and said 'enough'. I couuldnt so this to myself anymore. I cleaned up my act with casual sex (Im not a whore, but Im not a prude either), and booze. I had been drinking only when Im upset, to numb the pain. Id get drunk and try show people they hadn't hurt me, but I ended up playing myself. I have since (2 month on) stopped drinking completely and now, finally, my anti depressants are working 110% because alcohol is not stifling them.

I have become kinder and better. I am living the dream with working at a place I love and doing my magazine at night. I have my friends and I am healthy - I am blessed.

I have also come to love myself - I am kind and funny and intelligent and a nice person and I deserve the best. I am no longer going to let trash into my life, to use me and bring me down.

The end.

its been a while since iv been on here..

so much has happened and february was a really tough month for me. then, one day i wokeup and just decided to be happy. i was miserable and exhausted to i decided to do something about it. thus, for the past month, i have been really happy.

i realised that in the past 4 months, i have been drinking just to cope with problems - it's no longer for a social reason, or for the taste - i turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. and, because im on anti-depressants and alcohol is a depressant, it made things worse.

so, i made a conscious decision to stop drinking. i have been doing really well - a month sober. and i can feel that NOW my happy pills are working.

i am investing more in my work and life and friends, and i am where i want to be.

here are some pictures of adventures

aye, so much has happened..

last monday, i managed to lose 70 pages worth of design for the January issue of VIXXEN. decided to make a bumper jan-feb issue due out on 4th feb (late because of THORN ROSE FEST, which we are covering).

after that chaos, i drank myself silly.. the rest of the week was spent just chilling, gonna start reworking the issue next week, when i get my macbook! yay, graduation present, baby!

i have so much more to write, but i just wokeup (3pm!) so will write a bit later.