*sigh* so the dentist told me i need a root canal. which is much better than having my wisdoms taken out..

iv been on ever pain medication ever.. and on anti-biotics. and my boy cant come look after me. bleh. he went back to college today plus hes got the band. and they're playing lots of gigs so its practice practice practice..

here we go.. in the past few days iv been popping pain killers.. im off to the dentist in 30mins, and the wisdoms shall have to be removed ASAP..

iv barely slept and i havent eaten. and im tripping on medicinal drugs..

whew.. i spilled water on my keyboard the other day and now some keys dont work arg..

and here are some more bad news - my teeth have been hurting for the past two days - the pain comes and goes.. and it sucks, because i think it might be my wisdoms.. meaning id have to take them out, and im terrified.

*sigh* i have such a headache. the past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster. of note.

weird how things work out. 5 years ago i totally would have never thought THIS would happen..

i absolutely need to update more often.

here are another 50:

1) i stayed up all night working on a website.
2) i have been slacking with my exercise.
3) iv been consuming 1-2 red bulls a day.
4) i havent written my book in ages.
5) my mother is not talking to me
6) i cant move out yet
7) i still havent found a job
8) im going to an exhibition at my college tonight..
9) then i am getting plastered with my friends.
10) i havent been eating much
11) i need to go get my visa for the US
12) i went to a sick punk show last saturday
13) i am dreamweaver-ing it up
14) im growing my hair. its very irritating
15) i got snakebites, and i love them
16) i need to clean my car
17) i am very lazy
18) i havent consumed alcohol since saturday..
19) ive had a really shit week, so i need alcohol.
20) im trying to cut down on the cigarettes - its not working
21) i am always very inspired when im around lauren <3
22) i want sushi
23) i want to watch more of the big bang theory
24) i cant wait to watch fokof and then the ataris next month
25) i am beyond broke
26) i got offered sex in the bathroom at a gig the other day..
27) ..and i turned it down
28) i really need a good fuck
29) i am planning my next tattoo
30) i loved FANBOYS
31) i finally found my USB cable for my ipod. good times.
32) due to a huge contract bill, i now also have a pre-paid number
33) i wish my parents were away again
34) i need a job asap so i can move out
35) i cant wait for the US trip!
36) a memory card for my camera costs too much
37) im dying for taco bell
38) i need new glasses
39) photoshop makes me frustrated
40) spending the weekend with stella was awesome..
41) we managed to blow like R500 in one night
42) i refuse to drive lately, as i wanna get drunk
43) corn flakes is my new staple diet
44) im on facebook too much
45) im on twitter! www.twitter.com/Tina_Terminator
46) i watched the scream awards the other night
47) i hate melville, what a shithole
48) sleep is awesome
49) theres nothing good at the cinemas
50) im off to clean my car and buy a red bull

because im bored..

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = water
2. last phone call = lauren
3. last text message = rayno
4. last song you listened to = something from sonic syndicate
5. last time you cried = tuesday morning

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = yes
7. been cheated on = too much
8. kissed someone & regretted it =yes
9. lost someone special = yes
10. been depressed = yeah
11. been drunk and threw up = who hasnt?

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12.green
13. red
14. black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend = yes
16. Fallen out of love = yes thank god
17. Laughed until you cried = yes
18. Met someone who changed you = nope
19. Found out who your true friends were = i always knew
20. Found out someone was talking about you = yes
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list = yessss

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = the majority
23. How many kids do you want to have = 2
24. Do you have any pets = yes a cat and 2 dogs
25. Do you want to change your name = why would i be that lame?
26. What did you do for your last birthday = went to cool runnings
27. What time did you wake up today = 9.30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = drank whiskey
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = america! fuck yeah!
30. Last time you saw your Mother = 5 seconds ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? = my location
32. What are you listening to right now = my parents talking
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = yes
34. What's getting on your nerves right now =life
35. Most visited webpage = facebook
36. Whats your real name =tsvetina
37. Nicknames = tiny
38. Relationship Status = single baby!
39. Zodiac sign = libra
40. Male or female? = i have tits
41. Elementary? = is this really necessary?
42. Middle School = dbleh
43. High school/College = bleh
44. Hair colour = black and white
45. Long or short = longish
46. Height = 5'2''
47. Do you have a crush on someone? boy do i!
48: What do you like about yourself? not too much
49. Piercings = monroe, liprings
50. Tattoos = 2
51. Righty or lefty= Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = tonsils
53. First piercing = ears
54. First best friend = evelina
55. First sport you joined = soccer
56. First vacation= um i dunno?
58. First pair of trainers = converse

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating = nope
60. Drinking = water
61. I'm about to = post this
62. Listening to = parentals
63. Waiting on = friends to pick me up

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? one day when im old and wrinkly
65. Get Married? yes no maybe
66. Career? graphic designer

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes= both
68. Hugs or kisses= kisses
69. Shorter or taller= taller
70. Older or Younger = older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = spontanious
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = arms
73. Sensitive or loud = loud
74. Hook-up or relationship = hookup
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = yes
77. Drank hard liquor = all the time
78. Lost glasses/contacts = yup
79. Sex on first date = of course
80. Broken someone's heart = yes
81. Had your own heart broken = yes
82. Been arrested = almost
83. Turned someone down = yes
84. Cried when someone died = yes
85. Fallen for a friend? = yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = yes
87. Miracles = i guess
88. Love at first sight = yes
89. Heaven = no
90. Santa Claus = no
91. Kiss on the first date = yes
92. Angels = hell no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time = hahahah who hasnt
95. Did you sing today? = nope
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = of course
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? = 2-3 years
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = the day i saw my sister again
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = yes
100. Posting this as 100 truths? yips

this post is rather arb..

things that shouldnt have happened happened.. for the past year, i have been unable to feel emotional pain.. i have two weeks of sadness and then im just numb. im sure its not normal but it works for me..

do things hurt? of course they do.. do i miss it? sometimes. but the bad is outweighing the good and it helps.

never ever will i go back to being upset, unwanted and unloved.

im better and stronger than that.. right?

it should be noted that im totally not a morning person.. AT ALL..

the german is coming to the US with me, we are so amped. we are gonna book our tour next week, when my parents are back.

other than that, we went to DOORS the other night, expecting some drama (mr bipolar was on a date, and the adorable ex and the clueless best friend were set to come).. it ended up being a drunken evening, praying not to stumble upon roadblocks on the way home. mr bipolar's date was a kugel with high heels (in my opinion, NO ONE should wear prissy heels to DOORS, unless theyre sexy boots), whom i tried to talk to to get to know, but she spent the whole night talking on the phone - TO HER BOYFRIEND. needless to say, mr bipolar's ego was crushed.. oh well, he should just gym some more. the adorable ex is now dating the clueless best friend, although they deny it. and they only got to doors after we left, so there was no drama at all we drove all the way there for nothing.

so, my parents come back on tuesday, and i dont know how im gonna hide the snakebites.. knowing my mother, she will give me that whole where-did-i-go-wrong-in-raising-you speech *yawn*

so, the past few days have been amazing!

i have been dating someone for he past week, and he is really growing on me. lets call him the german hehehe.. anyways, we've been having lots of fun together.. i took my dad to the airport on thursday night, and that in itself was an adventure. then the german and i went to olive lounge. yesterday we went to cresta for a bit, had breakfast and i got some stuff for my SG photoshoot. then we went to get my lip pierced. i got snakebites. my lip is the size of africa now!

in other news, im home alone til the 24th, and im resuming writing my book on monday. tonight is my dear friend spectacles' birthday and then party at damiens house..

woah, i need to update more often.

heres whats new with me:

1) my dad's going to bulgaria tomorrow. thus, i have the house all to myself til the 24th.
2) i am actually doing exercise now. i know, shocking.
3) i havent watched TV in like a week
4) im writing a book
5) i miss my sister, as usual
6) im getting a new piercing on friday
7) i still havent found a job
8) thursdays are the new fridays
9) i havent had coca cola in a week!
10) i have been thoroughly enjoying embarassing mr bipolar
11) i drove to pretoria yesterday
12) im taking my camera everywhere from now on!
13) i still need to get my visa, and book my holiday
14) i have awesome friends
15) i need a new haircut/ style
16) i have done no designs in the past 2 weeks
17) i have been going to doors a lot
18) i miss my mommy
19) im waiting for the electrician to go home so that i can sleep
20) im trying to cut down on the cigarettes
21) i still talk. A LOT.
22) i am reading a very interesting blog
23) i keep forgetting to take out the trash
24) i miss my vanja
25) i really want to go to a festival
26) i burnt my finger with the hair straighter today
27) i need to pee
28) iv been drinking a lot of water and not enough beer
29) i am planning my next tattoo
30) i have erased the sims from my computer
31) i saw WATCHMEN the other day and was a little disappointed
32) i have been spending too much money on partying
33) my phone has been acting strange
34) luckily, my stalker has now left me alone
35) i have to run my dads business while he's away
36) i need to get Season 2 of The Big Bang Theory
37) i still dont care about what people think of me
38) i need new glasses
39) my car is still filthy
40) i finally bought some perfume
41) i think i caught a cold
42) i am horny as fuck
43) i cannot find my library card
44) i need to give up red bull
45) i need a job
46) i need CS 4
47) i want Twin Peaks on DVD
48) i havent cried in ages
49) i cannot stand by, and watch someone be a dick to someone else
50) i REALLY need to go pee now