Wow I havent updated in a month!
Lots has happened, I guess.
So for those of you who dont know, I got my heart torn out of my ribcage in February. here is a quick story:
I met him end of January through a friend, As soon as we laid eyes on one another, I was a goner. We chatted all night, as if no one else was around, and I ended up going home with him. We spent the next day together, happy as hell. Then that night he told me he's been in an internet relationship with a 19yr old (hes 26) in London for the past year. Via SKYPE. I said ok then I'll walk away, he said he cant let me, that he will explain it to her and break it off. Anyways, he had slept with his ex of 7 years (who is psycho) 2 weeks before he met me and come clean to the little girl in London and she had forgiven him. He told her about me and she cried and manipulated him and he broke it off with me cos he said they'd been together for too long and he was planning to move to London to be with her.
Everyone, including our mutual friends told him not to do it, but he didnt want to listen. At the same time, even though he'd told her he'd broken it off with me, he was still fucking me. I ended it because I couldnt take it anymore and I'm no one's second best. Then I saw him 2 weeks late at a gig and his best friend told me hes inlove with Miss London and that I must let it go. So I hooked up with his friend who was making passes at me - I was drunk and upset. After that night, I erased the boy from my SKYPE, and a week later he erased me from Facebook.
I saw him 2 weeks ago, and again tonight. Turns out he is still with the girl in London, but fucking his ex.
This little story further proves to me that all men are the same - they key is to find someone who's less of an asshole than the others.
Through all of this, I cried, stopped eating and my work and relationships suffered. Then one day, I woke up and said 'enough'. I couuldnt so this to myself anymore. I cleaned up my act with casual sex (Im not a whore, but Im not a prude either), and booze. I had been drinking only when Im upset, to numb the pain. Id get drunk and try show people they hadn't hurt me, but I ended up playing myself. I have since (2 month on) stopped drinking completely and now, finally, my anti depressants are working 110% because alcohol is not stifling them.
I have become kinder and better. I am living the dream with working at a place I love and doing my magazine at night. I have my friends and I am healthy - I am blessed.
I have also come to love myself - I am kind and funny and intelligent and a nice person and I deserve the best. I am no longer going to let trash into my life, to use me and bring me down.
The end.
Lots has happened, I guess.
So for those of you who dont know, I got my heart torn out of my ribcage in February. here is a quick story:
I met him end of January through a friend, As soon as we laid eyes on one another, I was a goner. We chatted all night, as if no one else was around, and I ended up going home with him. We spent the next day together, happy as hell. Then that night he told me he's been in an internet relationship with a 19yr old (hes 26) in London for the past year. Via SKYPE. I said ok then I'll walk away, he said he cant let me, that he will explain it to her and break it off. Anyways, he had slept with his ex of 7 years (who is psycho) 2 weeks before he met me and come clean to the little girl in London and she had forgiven him. He told her about me and she cried and manipulated him and he broke it off with me cos he said they'd been together for too long and he was planning to move to London to be with her.
Everyone, including our mutual friends told him not to do it, but he didnt want to listen. At the same time, even though he'd told her he'd broken it off with me, he was still fucking me. I ended it because I couldnt take it anymore and I'm no one's second best. Then I saw him 2 weeks late at a gig and his best friend told me hes inlove with Miss London and that I must let it go. So I hooked up with his friend who was making passes at me - I was drunk and upset. After that night, I erased the boy from my SKYPE, and a week later he erased me from Facebook.
I saw him 2 weeks ago, and again tonight. Turns out he is still with the girl in London, but fucking his ex.
This little story further proves to me that all men are the same - they key is to find someone who's less of an asshole than the others.
Through all of this, I cried, stopped eating and my work and relationships suffered. Then one day, I woke up and said 'enough'. I couuldnt so this to myself anymore. I cleaned up my act with casual sex (Im not a whore, but Im not a prude either), and booze. I had been drinking only when Im upset, to numb the pain. Id get drunk and try show people they hadn't hurt me, but I ended up playing myself. I have since (2 month on) stopped drinking completely and now, finally, my anti depressants are working 110% because alcohol is not stifling them.
I have become kinder and better. I am living the dream with working at a place I love and doing my magazine at night. I have my friends and I am healthy - I am blessed.
I have also come to love myself - I am kind and funny and intelligent and a nice person and I deserve the best. I am no longer going to let trash into my life, to use me and bring me down.
The end.
