So, I'm in not-Iraq now. I actually got back on Tuesday and just now got around to changing my location back.

Day 1: drinking.
Day 2: shopping, much more drinking, karaoke
Today: shopping, very little drinking, nudie bar

So, basically, I've picked up right where I left off, which is nice. In a couple of months, I'll be free! free! and moving to Austin to take up space in BlueValentine's house.

I've been kind of dazed the past few days, though I'm not sure if it's because of the 16 months of desert or the 12 time zones of jet lag. Either way, I am seriously out of it.

For those who don't know, my brigade got hit with a 4-month extension and moved down to Baghdad.

News story

I'm dealing with it. It's not really all that bad for me because I get an extra $1000 per month tax-free(SCORE!) and all I'm really missing is the drinking and the wearing real-people clothes. It really sucks for the people with families, especially when we didn't know about the extension until a couple days before we were supposed to leave.

There's occasionally wireless internet in my tent, so I should be able to check SG more regularly than before.

If anyone wants to send me macaroni pictures or explicit macramé cleverly concealed in boxes of cereal or whatever the hell you kids do these days, email me (flimflamman at gmail dot com) for my address.

Side note: 5/6 of the people who commented on my first journal entry are grey. Way to hang in there, Koleeta!

I'm about to leave for the airport.

Only 4 months more.

Oh, Jon Lovitz...

If you needed money that badly, why didn't you just ask?

NO SWELLING is back in the States.
Hooray for leave and beer.

I have nothing to say.

Email me, punks.

flimflamman at gmail

I told you there was more.

For everyone who asks how I'm doing, I'm getting along just fine, thanks.

For everyone who asks how the war's going, get off my back already. I'll get around to spanking the enemies of freedom and spreading democracy when I'm good and ready.

For everyone who asks what I'm doing, I sit in an office for 12 hours a day, waiting for things to break. At night, I watch bootlegged DVD compilations of TV shows, then take an hour or so to go quietly insane.

For everyone who promised to send me a Chia pet but hasn't, fuck all y'all. You ain't my baby's daddy.

For everyone who's secretly in love with me but just can't spit it out, it's just not the right time. I'm in a "me" place right now. You can still buy me presents, though.

I'm done. Get this microphone out of my face, asshole.

Evening, bitches.

More to follow.

Last night I ate a fortune cookie.
The fortune was:

"You will enjoy a new experience this weekend."





------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They're coming to kick me out of my room in about 25 minutes, so I'm shutting down the laptop. Thanks to everyone that sent happy feelings.

So..... I'm going to Iraq in a couple of weeks, and I'm not sure how often I'll be able to hit up SG.
Send mail to my military account:
karl.w.hoffman at us.army.mil