Many thanks to RomanVirtue for my new profile pic, in which I am an admiral and also a monkey.

More random thoughts:

It seems like the perceived quality of a beer is directly proportional to how difficult it is to open. My evidence:

can < twist-off bottle < bottle requiring opener < bottle with that little wire cage and a cork < previous bottle plus foil(Seriously, what the fuck? Those beers should come with monocles.)

Anyway, it makes me think that if I made a beer and just melted the glass closed at the top of the bottle, beer snobs would go fucking nuts for it.


I bet James Randi was born with a beard.


Fuck Ezra Pound.


I've developed a super power of sorts. If I put food in the microwave or toaster oven and walk away from it, I will almost always walk back in the kitchen less than 10 seconds before the ding. Usually, when I tell people about this, we end up quibbling over what actually constitutes a "super power". Fuck you, though. Do you have anything better? One friend suggested I refer to it as an "uncanny knack" instead, which I may end up doing, though it seems like the coward's way out.

See you next year, kids!