I had the worst most horrible conversation of my life this past tuesday. I haven't been able to sleep for 4 days because i can't think about anything else all day long. kinda like having a bad song stuck in your head, but instead of a song its more like a continuous kick in the face. and to make it worse i know this person will never be able to begin to understand how much this has destroyed my ability to care for or trust anyone ever again. its bad enough to watch someone you care about make incredibly sad decisions for their life, extra bad when those decisions ruin you on the way. oh and the next day my truck broke down again so ive been walking around in the rain for the last few days which really completes the picture. im getting really tired of feeling like complete and total shit however this is something i dont think ill ever be able to put behind me.