I'm SOOO excited! My SG tank top just arrived in the mail <3 Just in time too.. its way to hot out today.

Its Canada Day! So to celebrate I figured I'd show some love for some of the beautiful Canadian SG's that are out there. First up, Canadian Cutie NOEL<3



One of my all time favorites GLITCH




Next SUSPIRIA, she's so talented I'm disappointed she can't seem to find a photographer to shoot with, hopefully that will change soon!



and last but not least, the lovely VESPER her latest set is up in MR incase you want to go take a peek.

Thank you Sunshine! For bleaching the roots of my bright orange dreads blond ... I now have shoulder length LeeLoo Dallas hair... with out the bangs. Its awesome.



I'll post pics of my dreaded journey when a camera wanders into my life again . For now drool at the sublime Milla Jovovich <3

I need more physical activity in my life. So I'm going to start training here at the apartment in kickboxing. I studied it for years in high school and a bit in college so it will just be a matter of committing to it everyday. Wish me luck. I also have to cut my self some slack and a make sure my routines are reasonable for the shape I'm in now. .. baby steps..

I received a apology today from a friend who used a gay slur around me years ago and having erased the traces of homophobia from his life was celebrating at a PRIDE event by emailing everyone he thinks he offended with his ignorance.

It was touching because I believe his change is genuine and I respect what a hard job making amends can be. It stung me too .

My family will never change there homophobic miss educated ways. My heart hurts.

I wish I would lose hope that they ever will and upon accepting that as a fact it wouldn’t sting when I see them come around comfortable with my current relationship ( with a man) when all the years I was with a woman I could see the disgust on there faces. If I ever saw them at all.

When I bravely came out to my mom as bi YEARS ago she told me among other hateful things that I would always be torn in two, ALWAYS unable to be happy or in a stable relationship . She has done violence to my mind , self identity and self respect. I need to get away from it but her words are always with me eating my soul from the inside out. I need to stop being a scared little girl. When its darkest I fear its too late to change but I guessed my friend proved it never is.

Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

It raining out, the apartment is quiet and smells like fresh cut grass and cool summer air. I'm barefoot in my pajamas, my skin is fresh, and clean, my dreads are in a messy ball on my head. The sun has kissed my arms with freckles.

I'm waiting for my partner to get back from night off at the bar. He usually returns on fire with his recharged sense of self. He needs time separate from all the roles he plays here in his waking life.

I guess I do too, but for now I'll still be it all, because no one else in this house can.

Time to paint.

I'm testing out my new left eye glasses lens now. I have a sticker on it that acts as a temporary prism to help my eyes focus. Now I have to give it a test run for the next two weeks , see if it helps, then take it from there. I haven't tried drawing with it yet.. that will be the real test. I still found I was having some depth perception trouble tonight but that's to be expected it will take time for my eyes to adjust. I just got glasses in Jan so I'm kinda annoyed they need to be adjusted already but I've been told that's common with these types of lenses. Sigh.

I'm done with this run of sadness and fear... Its time for things to swing back to having sexy, fun adventures again...

Don't you hate it when you hit send and your email chokes and spams all over people you don't know! Grrr technology! Who am I kidding, I can't stay mad at you! Not when you make digital art possible...oh and not when this is a thing.

Think Geek : KAROTZ
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YoR7pVLo11M[/YOUTUBE]

I don't have the time or resources to own a pet rabbit right now so this might be as close as I get till the kids move out. More importantly does this technology mean I one step closer to being able to own a Chobits?



Now I'm off to try and draw despite my eye still deviating. Only two more sleeps till I get my new temporary glasses lenses hopefully that will fix it and I can move on with my life. Last time I tried this the client love the piece but I've never been more frustrated or unsure of a work as it was going out the door.. we'll have to wait and see how this goes.

Anatomically dubious is my new favorite art description!

I came across the phrase in reference to the cover of 'Catwoman' #0 DC Back Breaking Catwoman cover On the cover you can see Catwomans face,breast and ass all in one back breaking pose.

My complaint isn't that he fudged anatomy, Artist do that all the time! Ever seen a cover of Spiderman where he looks like he has boneitis and his hand in the foreground is the size of two parked cars? Of course you have.

I resent that the artist felt he had to play all her aces at once to sell books. Catwoman is a established anti hero with a rich mythos behind her. If even she is only judged by her suitability as a males sexual partner then what chance do the rest of us have? I guess that's why it struck a nerve. Catwoman is sexy, but here I felt she was being exploited. I've had a soft spot for catwoman ever since Michel Phifer dripping in latex back flipped in to my budding bisexual heart when I was first watching The Bat The Cat and The Penguin.

I'm going to try and dig up a copy of Terry Moore's How to draw women! How to draw women

I started watching Rent on net flicks for old times sake tonight ... I forgot how heart breaking it is. But as soon as that first harmony of seasons of love started in a flood I remembered its not all strippers and living for your art. This movie brings up memories for me of that tumultuous time when I was fist living as a queer woman, and all the fear and triumph that went with it. Nothing was more important than discovering and being who I was. All of us art students were convinced that after grad we'd be living this movie once we graduated. We were all so driven to create and at the same time devalued our creations value ($$$) and unable to do anything else we had resigned ourselves to the idea of living and dying in poverty but being rich because we'd all gone out and lived for our art and each other.

" How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding way to get to your heart."