Thank you all for the nice comments on my last blog... unfortunately, I didn't end up getting the job for which I was waiting on the call. Then I thought I was going to get another job offer, but that too fell through at the last minute. Boo!

Anyway... I realize it's been a few months since I've updated this blog... so I'm going to come up with a long, rambling post about what I've been up to since I've last checked in... but not tonight. Unfortunately, this day seems to have slipped away from me, and now it's time to run out the door to meet up with some friends for dinner and who knows where the evening will go from there...

Have a great weekend all! And go Bruins!

Waiting sucks. I hate waiting. I always have such terrible anxiety waiting for... whatever to just hurry up and happen. Take air travel, for example, I always have knots in my stomach, a racing pulse, and I can't stop fidgeting starting about an hour before I'm supposed to leave for the airport until the plane is off the ground. The whole time I'm just a ball of nerves... worrying about every little detail... being late, missing the flight, forgetting to pack something important, being help up in the security line, etc. And then the plane takes off, and everything is fine again. It's the waiting, the anticipation, the worrying about things barely in my control that I struggle with.

Anyway, right now I'm waiting on a call about a job interview. Actually, I'm waiting for a call to tell me to go ahead and call someone else, who works for a company that I'd like to work for, and based on the outcome of that call, I'll get to find out if they want to bring me in for an interview or not. So I've been sitting here since 11:15am (it's now 4:15pm) wondering when this is all going to go down. The longer I wait, the more I worry about. Worry about how the first phone call will go, how the second call will go, if I'm going to mess up on the call, if I'm going to mess up on the interview in the coming weeks. Gah!

JUST CALL ME ALREADY!!!!

"I'm out of my mind
Think you can wait?
I'm out of my mind
Think you can wait?"

-"Think You Can Wait" - A new song from The National.

Haven't been very active around here lately... but added a bunch of pics from my Paris trip, some from the Dominican, a few from a Kate Nash show, and a couple new ones of me.

Yikes! It's been forever since I posted a new blog entry. I had such good intentions of writing something every day too. Bleh. I'm going to have to add that to my new resolutions. The New Year's ones haven't quite worked out the way I thought, so I'm going to start some new ones for 4/1/2010. April Fool's Day. April Fool's Day Resolutions. That way... if I stick with them, I'll be a trend starter. And if I don't... well, they were only an April Fool's Joke anyway. See, I'm smart. S-M-R-T!

Anyway... since I last posted things have been... well... they've been kind of shitty. But I've taken them all pretty well.

My Babchi (that's grandmother in Polish) passed away in December. She was old, and in a nursing home, and hadn't been doing too well, and now she is in a better place. Or at least not suffering. The family did have a birthday party for her a few weeks before she passed, and amazingly enough, she was very happy, and cognizant, and alert for the party. It's almost as if she decided she wanted to have one last nice day with family before she moved on. It was really nice to have that last memory of her, after watching her deteriorate the last few years. She was one of the most important people in my life, so watching her fall from grace was quite hard. But that last day was really great, and now she's at peace.

Also in December my boss passed away. She was only in her 50's but got pancreatic cancer and died a few months later. Cancer sucks. My Auntie J was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago but seems to be fighting it pretty well. Go auntie J! Kick cancer in the ass!

What else... oh, I got laid off! Blargle! Out of work in this economy is going to suck. My last day is Wed the 31st. Anyone got a decent accounting/finance job in the boston area? Hook a brothah up! Seriously... I'm a whiz with numbers. Or I'll do other stuff too... will recommend music for food? Wait, that's not a skill. Hmm... I'll have to think of what else I'm good at.

I'm also moving soon... got a pretty sweet place in Somerville, MA (one town closer to Boston than where I am now, and a short walk away from a train stop right into the city). Actually, I should be packing but I needed a break.

What else is going on... Things are great with the lady... she's just such a great girl for me. We're going to see Vampire Weekend on 4/1. Can't Wait! (And seeing Maya Angelou at Northeastern tomorrow!)

I suppose I'd better get back to packing. My shit ain't going to pack itself.

-50

5 Random Thoughts on the last few weeks...

1. Chicago was a blast! B and I flew out of Boston early Saturday morning, landed, checked into the hotel, and started exploring. We managed to pack soooo much stuff into just 36 hours... spotted a stikman in the street (see below), took an architectural boat tour of the city (very cool), walked around down town, saw my cousin's play (and had a great time hanging with her after the show), saw the bean, had a great time at the Art Insitute of Chicago, and had some really good food. I highly recommend the Amalfi hotel... great amenities, comfy bed, great concierge, super location, free continental breakfast, and free (yes FREE) happy hour with great drinks and italian hors d'oeuvers. There was even a little downtime in the room featuring some lingerie. (B wore, not me! Though I may have videoed myself doing a running flip onto the bed in my undies. haha)

2. Saw Metric in concert... Emily Haines has some great stage presence and the band put on a pretty solid show.

3. Went to my Babchi's (that's grandmother in Polish) 88th birthday party a few weeks ago... we had the party in the rec room of her Nursing Home, and I was a little worried going in because a. she hasn't been doing too well, and b. this was the first time B was meeting most of my family. But it was a great time! Babchi was in really great spirits and everyone loved B and she really liked my family too. Of course, it didn't hurt that the night before she made a really delicious chocolate pound cake with a chocolate glaze, and garnished it with fresh strawberries and raspberries for the party. If you want to get in good with my family... bring delicious treats. (And it certainly was delicious!) Case in point... no one told me my Auntie J was making Golabki (a Polish dish which is basically a cabbage leaf stuffed with rice and meat rolled into a little loaf and baked in the oven. one of my favorites!) I must have had four of them. So yummy!

Recipe - Can't Vouch for it though

4. Which reminds me... nursing homes really suck... though it was much worse before. Babchi was at a different nursing home a few months ago, but she kept getting sick which would give her really bad health problems. We checked into it a bit and found out that her nursing home was very poorly rated. Which makes sense... there were always people left unattended, the whole place reeked of the most foul smell imaginable (part shit, part piss, part vomit, part death, and equal parts lysol to cover it up). I think we just assumed all nursing homes were like this one... but after digging a little deeper, we were able to move her to the current home which, while not perfect, and still a nursing home, is much better. At least the smell isn't as bad, there seems to be more staff around, and they are actually helpful. Still... seeing Babchi in the home is one of the most depressing things in my life. Growing old sucks...it's really sad to see the most caring, thoughtful, sweet person I've ever met depressed, unable to remember a lot of things, unable to eat much food, or get around on her own, or hear when people are talking to her... it's sad and frustrating. Though I'm not sure the alternative is much better.... I just wish life didn't end this way.

5. We might as well continue on the depressing trend... (I'm so fun tonight!) frigging Cancer is all around lately. One of the reasons I was so surprised that Auntie J made the Golabki for the party was because she was recently diagnosed with pretty severe Cancer in her lungs and liver. Bleh! I guess it's incurable but treatable... though I'm not quite sure what that means. It doesn't sound good though. I found that little news out the same day that B learned her dad's liver cancer returned. The poor guy has been waiting for a liver transplant for a while, had everything cleared for the transplant with the final hoop being to make sure there was no cancer and... there it was. Now it's going to be another year minimum for the transplant. (I'm not a doctor obviously, but kind of thought it wouldn't matter since they were taking the liver out anyway.... no such luck.) All this was after my boss was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (the day after Patrick Swayze died from it no less!) and she hasn't been back to the office since.

Bleh... I'll try to be more positive next time. Leave some love.

Just a quick update...

Halloween was pretty awesome, and so was my costume. Pics will follow soon. The party decor was impressive, and there was beer and booze aplenty. Though the night kind of ended in a bit of a shitshow, it was a lot of fun.

Tonight is The Girl Talk concert... Psyched!

I never realized how hard it would be to find an adequate ball gag.

Next weekend is a momentous occasion for me: I'll be dressing up for Halloween for the first time since... elementary school.

Looking back, I remember what turned me off to Halloween... I was in 3rd grade, and I didn't have a costume to wear to school for the big Halloween party/parade. But being (I must admit) a bit ingenious, I managed to craft together an "Army Soldier" costume using clothes and toys that I had around the house. All things considered, it was a prettty decent costume. Much better than those old plastic costumes that kids used to wear with the flimsy masks that stayed in place with a rubber band. So, I go to school and am minding my own business, when my teacher, Mrs. Powers, out of nowhere sends me to the principals office. I don't think I'd ever been so stunned in all of my life. You see, growing up, I was always the biggest dork... straight A's, never got into trouble, never liked being the center of attention, etc, etc.

So off to the principal's office I went. I can't remember if I cried, but I must have been sad, confused, afraid, etc. When I got there, the principal explained to me that I was sent there because of the toy guns I had brought to school as part of my costume (PS- this was in 1984 or thereabouts, so (toy) guns in the school were definitely not as big of a no-no as they are today). The guns were taken from me, and I was told that i could get them back at the end of the day, and then I was sent back to class.

That wasn't the end of the horror for me. I'm not sure if other schools do this, but my school had a school-wide parade where all the students walked single file around the school and in front of a panel of judges who then chose the best costumes and the winners got some kind of reward. The parade marched on and on until I'm about to go in front of the judges and suddenly it stops. The principal wanted to hold up so the judges could closely scrutinize *ME* as he explained to them that they should imagine my costume with a whole "aresnal of weaponry" (25 years later, I still remember that exact phrase). As a shy kid who just didn't want to be noticed, I couldn't think of a worse punishment.

And so, consciously or not, ever since then I've been kind of curmudgeony in regard to Halloween. I don't dress up, I rarely buy candy, I don't go to parties, or do any thing fun. I just wait for it to be over. This year, however, I was invited to a fun party by a girl I'd like to keep impressing, and I've decided to dress up. Which gave me a whole other problem to be anxious about: what to wear.

I've thought about it a lot. I don't want something too elaborate. I've never been a fan of make-up (on me) so I don't want anything that I'd have to paint on me. I don't want a mask because I want to be able to drink lots and lots of booze (to make the night easier to handle) as well as meet and talk to people. But at the same time... I don't want to be too lame. And it would be nice if the costume was kind of original and clever too. And bad ass would be nice. So, I've been thinking about it since mid-September and hadn't had any solid ideas.

And then the other day, I'm watching Pulp Fiction for the 34th time, and it hits me: I should go as Butch (Bruce Willis' character) in the dungeon scene! All I need is... A bald cap, jeans, a white t-shirt (bloodied), a samaurai sword, and to make the costume complete... a ball gag to wear around my neck. This is easy! I already have the jeans and t-shirt. I found the bald cap pretty cheap, and I ordered a wooden sword from Amazon. Now all I need is the ball gag... But man is it hard to find a good ball gag! Amazon had like 3 and they all kind of sucked. Then me and my girlfriend went to a sex toy store (and I must admit I was so focused on finding the gag that I never considered how awkward it would be to walk into a seedy sex toy store with a girl I've only been dating for two months!) and they only had a really cheap one that was nothing like the one in the movie. Adam and Eve online didn't have any (what do they have against ball gags?). Most of the ones on eBay were shipped from China. So then I started purusing other sites... where they were either too expensive, poor quality, not available, or just not right. And then last night I FINALLY was able to track one done online that mostly works... the ball is black not red, but it shipped from NJ and should arrive tomorrow, is a leather collar, and was under $20! I'm so excited to get my first ball gag.

(Well, this was my first ever blog post. If you've made it this far, please leave a comment so I know someone read it. Thanks!)