Vaginal tattooing... please don't do it. Just don't. It rarely works for anybody. Especially anything with words. I have yet to see any combination of words that that when tattooed next to the pussy, makes the pussy in any way better. It always comes off as trashy, or at the very best, as exceedingly narcissistic. If you think your pudenda is funny looking or boring or whatever and you want to jazz it up, be careful, get multiple opinions, etc. Don't just slap some ink on there and call it good. And if you are one of those uncommonly blessed women with a perfect pussy, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DO ANYTHING TO FUCK IT UP!!!!! An already perfect pussy needs no decorations. There is nothing you can do to make it better than it already is, so don't try. You'll just ruin it.
Your crotch before the tattoo...
Your crotch after the tattoo...
I really hope that I don't have to explain the difference to you.
Your crotch before the tattoo...
Your crotch after the tattoo...
I really hope that I don't have to explain the difference to you.
I think that SG is running out of good SG names. We're starting to see hopefuls and models with lame alternate spelling nicknames. For example, Toxikk, one of the hopefuls on the front page as I type this. Notice how it is spelled with 2 k's. There is already a SG named Toxic. And I'm guessing that there is probably another member or something using 'Toxik' with only 1 k. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to pick on Toxikk, I'm just using her name as an example. I have noticed other names like this. It is one thing for normal members to have to come up with creative spellings of their desired handle, that is just part of the internet experience. But when it comes to actual models on the site, alternative spelling names seem kind of cheap and tawdry. There are so many rules and regs for what SG's can and can't do, would one more small rule about unique names be out of order?
Update time boys and girls...
We're all moved into our new place in San Antonio. Certainly not our first choice of places to live, but could be worse. I'm just glad we are out of Baton Rouge. We had some good times there, but Louisiana just isn't for me. Too hot, too humid, too flat. I would actually feel claustrophobic in Baton Rouge because it is so flat that you can't actually see anything past the first row of trees and buildings. I like to see mountains and stuff when I look at the horizon. Louisiana doesn't even have horizons. I grew up on the Puget Sound, so I'm all used to dramatic vistas and views. Looking at the Sound on a misty day is like something out of Tolkien. The deserts of Texas are a far cry from the cloudy majesty of the Pacific Northwest, but at least the land has contours here.
Still looking for a job. The market in San Antonio seems to be even shittier than Baton Rouge. If anybody knows of anything, let me know.
My sister is giving birth to her twins as I write this. A boy and a girl. Call me uncle 10k from now on bitches.
We're all moved into our new place in San Antonio. Certainly not our first choice of places to live, but could be worse. I'm just glad we are out of Baton Rouge. We had some good times there, but Louisiana just isn't for me. Too hot, too humid, too flat. I would actually feel claustrophobic in Baton Rouge because it is so flat that you can't actually see anything past the first row of trees and buildings. I like to see mountains and stuff when I look at the horizon. Louisiana doesn't even have horizons. I grew up on the Puget Sound, so I'm all used to dramatic vistas and views. Looking at the Sound on a misty day is like something out of Tolkien. The deserts of Texas are a far cry from the cloudy majesty of the Pacific Northwest, but at least the land has contours here.
Still looking for a job. The market in San Antonio seems to be even shittier than Baton Rouge. If anybody knows of anything, let me know.
My sister is giving birth to her twins as I write this. A boy and a girl. Call me uncle 10k from now on bitches.
For a website that thrives on and depends on free expression to exist, there sure are a lot of rules about what you can and can not say. Apparently you only get free speech until somebody (usually a SG) decides that you are creepy or whatever, then you can just shut your whore mouth and don't offend anybody.
Seattle has a whole lot of churches. Churches everywhere. Also religious schools, bill boards, television shows, etc. But Seattle's religious scene is nothing compared to what I'm bombarded with here in the South. Can't go anywhere without tripping over a bunch of physically small but piously huge churches. Big churches, small churches, red churches, blue churches. Church signs everywhere. At least half a dozen religion based channels on the local TV lineup. Big ass giant crosses next to the free way. Pithy religious bumper stickers on every pick up truck, etc. All this religion slapping me in the face got me to thinking this morning. Not about Jesus and the state of my soul or the hereafter or any of that. I was thinking about the inherent contradictions in christian dogma. More specifically, I was contemplating the concept of sin and how it jives (or doesn't jive) with the christian big guy himself. I'm talking about the real sins. The big ones. The big baddies that are the worst sins you can commit. Not those pissy little venial sins that you can make go away with X amount of Hail Mary's or Our Fathers. I'm talking about the really bad ones, the ones that are supposed to let ol Satan himself in to party, The Seven Deadly Sins Which are, in case you forgot, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. The point of all this, is that it occurs to me that God himself embodies most of these sins. Let's run down the list...
Wrath... This one is easy. The whole 'vengeful God' thing says it all. According to the Bible, God gets awfully angry all the freakin time. Smiting this and smoting that. Raining fire and brimstone down on whole cities, etc. God is a seriously angry deity! You could say that God has a anger control problem. So, God is angry. That's a sin.
Envy... This goes right along with wrath. Not only is God vengeful, he is also a jealous God. It says so right in the book itself. Thou shalt not put any gods before me. Sounds like a jealous boyfriend. God gets jealous, then he gets angry, then people go to hell. Yay God! That's 2 for 2.
Lust... I don't know too much about God's sex life. There is a lot of sex in the Old Testament, but it's never God getting his holy rocks off. It's always some douche bag deflowering his brothers wife or his daughter or his goat or some shit like that. So God never gets it on himself (except that one time with Mary, but one lay hardly makes a sex fiend), but according to the churches I grew up in, God cares an awful lot about virgins and virginity. And I know how virgins make me fell. Giggity. But I'll cut God some slack and not attribute this one to him. 2 out of 3 so far.
Sloth... And on the seventh day he rested. Sounds like laziness to me. If idle hands are the devil's play things, then a whole day of rest sounds down right devilish to me. Plus, what about all those prayers that go unanswered? All my life, I was told that I should pray to God. But God never replied. Guess he was too busy resting to be bothered. Yep, that's a sin.
Greed... Why does God want all of our prayers? And he wants EVERYBODY to believe in him and only him. Sounds awfully greedy to me. Like a little kid who won't share his toys with the other kids. And according to some preacher type people, God not only wants our faith and our prayers, he also wants our money too!! Holy shit! This guy is supposed to be infinitely powerful and all knowing, yet he still needs a chunk of my sad little pay check? WTF? Get a job you lazy greedy bastard!
Gluttony... Ummm, unless God wants all those prayers so that he can eat them, I don't really see this one. UNLESS he doesn't want us to believe in other gods because when we die, he eats our souls. Hmmmm. I may have to let God pass on this one. Theoretical soul eating isn't enough to convict in this case.
and that brings us to Pride... God is chock full of pride. Just read pretty much any page in the bible. 'I am the one true God', 'Put no other gods before me', 'Look at my works and rejoice', etc. All over the place God goes on and on about how awesome he his, how he was the first god, and the one true god, and how he has the all time high score at Tetris. Pride, yeah. God's got plenty of that.
Out of the Seven Deadly Sins that God hates and despises before all other sins, God himself is guilty of at least 5 of them with the jury still out on the other 2. So in conclusion, God is a greedy, lazy, jealous boyfriend with anger issues and a huge ego who may eat souls and have a thing for virgins. Sounds like a great role model to me.
Wrath... This one is easy. The whole 'vengeful God' thing says it all. According to the Bible, God gets awfully angry all the freakin time. Smiting this and smoting that. Raining fire and brimstone down on whole cities, etc. God is a seriously angry deity! You could say that God has a anger control problem. So, God is angry. That's a sin.
Envy... This goes right along with wrath. Not only is God vengeful, he is also a jealous God. It says so right in the book itself. Thou shalt not put any gods before me. Sounds like a jealous boyfriend. God gets jealous, then he gets angry, then people go to hell. Yay God! That's 2 for 2.
Lust... I don't know too much about God's sex life. There is a lot of sex in the Old Testament, but it's never God getting his holy rocks off. It's always some douche bag deflowering his brothers wife or his daughter or his goat or some shit like that. So God never gets it on himself (except that one time with Mary, but one lay hardly makes a sex fiend), but according to the churches I grew up in, God cares an awful lot about virgins and virginity. And I know how virgins make me fell. Giggity. But I'll cut God some slack and not attribute this one to him. 2 out of 3 so far.
Sloth... And on the seventh day he rested. Sounds like laziness to me. If idle hands are the devil's play things, then a whole day of rest sounds down right devilish to me. Plus, what about all those prayers that go unanswered? All my life, I was told that I should pray to God. But God never replied. Guess he was too busy resting to be bothered. Yep, that's a sin.
Greed... Why does God want all of our prayers? And he wants EVERYBODY to believe in him and only him. Sounds awfully greedy to me. Like a little kid who won't share his toys with the other kids. And according to some preacher type people, God not only wants our faith and our prayers, he also wants our money too!! Holy shit! This guy is supposed to be infinitely powerful and all knowing, yet he still needs a chunk of my sad little pay check? WTF? Get a job you lazy greedy bastard!
Gluttony... Ummm, unless God wants all those prayers so that he can eat them, I don't really see this one. UNLESS he doesn't want us to believe in other gods because when we die, he eats our souls. Hmmmm. I may have to let God pass on this one. Theoretical soul eating isn't enough to convict in this case.
and that brings us to Pride... God is chock full of pride. Just read pretty much any page in the bible. 'I am the one true God', 'Put no other gods before me', 'Look at my works and rejoice', etc. All over the place God goes on and on about how awesome he his, how he was the first god, and the one true god, and how he has the all time high score at Tetris. Pride, yeah. God's got plenty of that.
Out of the Seven Deadly Sins that God hates and despises before all other sins, God himself is guilty of at least 5 of them with the jury still out on the other 2. So in conclusion, God is a greedy, lazy, jealous boyfriend with anger issues and a huge ego who may eat souls and have a thing for virgins. Sounds like a great role model to me.
Life in the red state goes on...
Went to Jazzfest on Saturday. It was very very hot, very very crowded, and a whole lot of fun. I have to be careful when talking about Jazzfest, or people will get the wrong idea and think I didn't like it. I do have several complaints about the day, but overall, it really was great. I don't deal well with heat and direct sunlight. As I tell 217 all the time, I am not solar powered. I am dark powered. So 90 degrees and 90% humidity with no shade tends to make me feel not so good. Also, Jazzfest is a giant money sucking vacuum. $50 per day per ticket for the basic admission ticket, $4.00 waters, no re entry, parking fees, etc. Jazzfest did manage to suck a pretty good chunk of change out of us. And for the size of the event, the venue just isn't big enough. It was crazy crowded. And it was muddy. Wet, squishy, slimy, slippery, horse dung smelling mud everywhere. But it was a lot of fun. We got to see a bit of Chick Corea, the Roots and Steel Pulse. We ate a bunch of festival food and had some hurricanes. All in all, it was a great day.
Today (Sunday) we went and saw Ironman and Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo. I really loved both of these movies. I'm not going to go all geeky over the greatness that is Ironman, I'm just going to say that it is one of the very best comic book adaptations I've ever seen. Very few complaints, lots of praise. Great flick. Harold and Kumar was also surprisingly good as well. Considering it is the sequel to a stoner tittie movie it had a lot of plot and character development. Well done follow up to a good stoner flick. And it wrapped the story arc up nicely. No loose ends, no obvious opening for another sequel. Two good movies in one day. Doesn't happen all that often.
Went to Jazzfest on Saturday. It was very very hot, very very crowded, and a whole lot of fun. I have to be careful when talking about Jazzfest, or people will get the wrong idea and think I didn't like it. I do have several complaints about the day, but overall, it really was great. I don't deal well with heat and direct sunlight. As I tell 217 all the time, I am not solar powered. I am dark powered. So 90 degrees and 90% humidity with no shade tends to make me feel not so good. Also, Jazzfest is a giant money sucking vacuum. $50 per day per ticket for the basic admission ticket, $4.00 waters, no re entry, parking fees, etc. Jazzfest did manage to suck a pretty good chunk of change out of us. And for the size of the event, the venue just isn't big enough. It was crazy crowded. And it was muddy. Wet, squishy, slimy, slippery, horse dung smelling mud everywhere. But it was a lot of fun. We got to see a bit of Chick Corea, the Roots and Steel Pulse. We ate a bunch of festival food and had some hurricanes. All in all, it was a great day.
Today (Sunday) we went and saw Ironman and Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo. I really loved both of these movies. I'm not going to go all geeky over the greatness that is Ironman, I'm just going to say that it is one of the very best comic book adaptations I've ever seen. Very few complaints, lots of praise. Great flick. Harold and Kumar was also surprisingly good as well. Considering it is the sequel to a stoner tittie movie it had a lot of plot and character development. Well done follow up to a good stoner flick. And it wrapped the story arc up nicely. No loose ends, no obvious opening for another sequel. Two good movies in one day. Doesn't happen all that often.
So we made it to Baton Rouge. Been here a few months now. Its ok. Not a bad town, but its definitely not Seattle. I was spoiled growing up in an extremely liberal (for the most part) city. Baton Rouge is so damned conservative. And it's one of the more liberal cities in the south. More on that later though. I will say this for Baton Rouge, I do love them southern ladies 
The Beach Boys were right about that much. But seriously, I miss Seattle. I miss my friends, I miss the night life, I miss my clubs, I miss PURE Cirkus, I miss Neighbours, I miss SCARE, I miss the weather, I miss the Puget Sound, I miss air that is more gaseous than liquid. I can't wait to move back home. Unfortunately, that will not be for some time yet. After we are done in Baton Rouge we have to go somewhere else for Liz's vet internship. RIght now the likely choices are Phoenix, New York, and Anchorage. Phoenix can go fuck itself with a cactus. It's the hottest metro area outside of the middle east. Forget that. New York is New York. I'm ambivalent. Anchorage would be cool. I like Alaska. I like the cold better than the heat. And they got a lot of bud up there. So as of now, I'm voting on Anchorage. More later...
The Beach Boys were right about that much. But seriously, I miss Seattle. I miss my friends, I miss the night life, I miss my clubs, I miss PURE Cirkus, I miss Neighbours, I miss SCARE, I miss the weather, I miss the Puget Sound, I miss air that is more gaseous than liquid. I can't wait to move back home. Unfortunately, that will not be for some time yet. After we are done in Baton Rouge we have to go somewhere else for Liz's vet internship. RIght now the likely choices are Phoenix, New York, and Anchorage. Phoenix can go fuck itself with a cactus. It's the hottest metro area outside of the middle east. Forget that. New York is New York. I'm ambivalent. Anchorage would be cool. I like Alaska. I like the cold better than the heat. And they got a lot of bud up there. So as of now, I'm voting on Anchorage. More later...I was informed that I need to update. So here it is...
So there is much newness going on. First off, there was a death in my family recently. A few weeks ago my aunt died
*sadpanda* It wasn't unexpected, but still very upsetting. She was my mom's last living relative, so she's taken it pretty hard. But that's enough of sadness.
I recently joined the circus. That's right, the circus. Pure Cirkus to be exact. Check out the web page. Pure Cirkus is a freaking amazing group of people. I've been going to their shows for awhile and loved every one of them. When they sent out a notice saying they were looking for new techs, I joined up. We have everything from fire dancers, grinder girls, clowns, acro-balancing and contortionists to illusions (the Bullet Catch rocks my socks), juggling, piercing suspensions and aerialists. I haven't met everyone in the crew yet, but so far, I really like everyone I have met. It's a big bunch of crazy ass people doing some crazy shit cuz they love it. I don't think I've ever met a more accepting group. Plus the perks are pretty fucking cool too. Whenever they work a club, I get in for free. Get to go back stage. Hang out in the green room with circus performers, bands, and other performers. A couple of weeks ago, I got to work a performance at some corporate Xmas party. Got to tell a bunch of drunk cubicle dwellers to get out of the way, access to the open bar and top notch buffet, and got to hang out in the green room with the band. Good times. Tonight, we worked a show at a rave. We shared a dressing room with some other performers. Hanging out with the sexy santa clause dancer girls, pushing around etarded ravers, helping said sexy santa dancers adjust their costumes. Hell yeah, it's the Cirkus life for me.
But alas, my time with the cirkus is about at an end. My girl and I are moving from Seattle to Baton Rouge in just over a week. We take off on our 3200 mile drive on January 1st. We are heading down there so that she can finish her last year of veterinary school at LSU. My apartment is wasteland of half packed boxes.
Today my 9 year old niece totally schooled me at Wii Boxing. She kicked my ass. There is no way to defend against her Chaotic Windmill Attack. No way. She'd kick Rocky's ass. But I did manage to trounce the 6 year old girl. Aww yeah. I whooped her good. She won't be trash talking me anytime soon.
So there is much newness going on. First off, there was a death in my family recently. A few weeks ago my aunt died
*sadpanda* It wasn't unexpected, but still very upsetting. She was my mom's last living relative, so she's taken it pretty hard. But that's enough of sadness.I recently joined the circus. That's right, the circus. Pure Cirkus to be exact. Check out the web page. Pure Cirkus is a freaking amazing group of people. I've been going to their shows for awhile and loved every one of them. When they sent out a notice saying they were looking for new techs, I joined up. We have everything from fire dancers, grinder girls, clowns, acro-balancing and contortionists to illusions (the Bullet Catch rocks my socks), juggling, piercing suspensions and aerialists. I haven't met everyone in the crew yet, but so far, I really like everyone I have met. It's a big bunch of crazy ass people doing some crazy shit cuz they love it. I don't think I've ever met a more accepting group. Plus the perks are pretty fucking cool too. Whenever they work a club, I get in for free. Get to go back stage. Hang out in the green room with circus performers, bands, and other performers. A couple of weeks ago, I got to work a performance at some corporate Xmas party. Got to tell a bunch of drunk cubicle dwellers to get out of the way, access to the open bar and top notch buffet, and got to hang out in the green room with the band. Good times. Tonight, we worked a show at a rave. We shared a dressing room with some other performers. Hanging out with the sexy santa clause dancer girls, pushing around etarded ravers, helping said sexy santa dancers adjust their costumes. Hell yeah, it's the Cirkus life for me.
But alas, my time with the cirkus is about at an end. My girl and I are moving from Seattle to Baton Rouge in just over a week. We take off on our 3200 mile drive on January 1st. We are heading down there so that she can finish her last year of veterinary school at LSU. My apartment is wasteland of half packed boxes.
Today my 9 year old niece totally schooled me at Wii Boxing. She kicked my ass. There is no way to defend against her Chaotic Windmill Attack. No way. She'd kick Rocky's ass. But I did manage to trounce the 6 year old girl. Aww yeah. I whooped her good. She won't be trash talking me anytime soon.
