Patty Schemel
Tags: music, hole, Courtney Love, drummer, kurt cobain, Patty Schemel, celebrity skin
Patty Schemel, former drummer for the grunge rock band Hole, is the subject of a new documentary. Hit So Hard: The Life & Near Death Story of Patty Schemel profiles her time with the Courtney Love fronted band, her decline into drug addiction, and her subsequent resurrection.
What makes Hit So Hard more personal than the usual biography of a troubled rocker is that it is founded upon home video of Hole shot behind the scenes on tour. The film began when Schemel wanted to transfer her old Hi-8 video (a high end format from the early ‘90s), and director David Ebersole decided to follow the story in more depth.
Schemel’s story didn’t end with her drug addiction and recovery. She also struggled with coming out to her family, and now she is happily married to her partner, Christina Soletti. After leaving Hole, Schemel spent some time homeless, living on the street. Through her firsthand accounts, and commentary from fellow rock goddesses like Gina Schock and Nina Gordon, Schemel and Ebersole paint a portrait of her struggles, and a side of Hole you never knew. Some of the Hi-8 videos even feature Curt Kobain shortly before his suicide.
The film has played the festival circuit this year. It premiered in Austin at South by Southwest, where I sat with Schemel before the film even screened in competition. On her own, Schemel was a mature, reflective conversationalist, the evidence of her former life, her rock & roll tattoos only being visible when she rolled up her sleeves.
New Directors/New Films reunited Schemel and Love in person, and the film continues to play the country in festivals like Seattle International Film Festival and this month’s Outfest in Los Angeles.
SuicideGirls: Even though David is the director, is the film still very much your voice?
Patty Schemel: Yes, because there’s interviews with a lot of my friends and myself, and so I’m telling my story intercut with the archival footage and also other people, like Nina Gordon from Veruca Salt or Gina Schock from The Go-Gos, just other people I respect or were there in the middle of it, as well as Courtney, Eric [Erlandson] and Melissa [Auf der Maur] talking about their view and me talking about my experience. It covers the death of Kristen Pfaff and how that affected my life and Kurt’s death. There’s a perception of what was going on with our band at that time from the media and this is my view from where I was at which is a different story.
SG:
What is the most raw emotional moment captured in the movie?
PS:
There’s some delicate issues around my homelessness. That was tough. Footage of Kurt, that was tough to see. Old friend, but… Also just looking back on moments with people that have since died, passed away. Those friends that didn’t make it through.
SG:
When were you homeless?
PS:
That was late ‘90s, after I left Hole. There was a period of time that I spent on the street. There’s one particular story about "Celebrity Skin" that I’ll let you see the film to get that story because that’s a total misconception about what went on in the studio. That’s all covered in the film.
SG:
Have you been waiting all these years to clear that up?
PS:
It’s a good question because yes. Yeah. I hadn’t really had any conversations with them about those moments in the studio around that record. Nothing really in depth, just hello and how are you kind of stuff over the years. Of course I kept a little bit closer to Courtney but in their interviews, hearing them talk about what they were feeling and what was going on, was really important to me to hear how they felt, because I pretty much checked out right after that. To get their version, to pretty much have closure for me was really important.
SG:
After the film, will the Wikipedia entry on "Celebrity Skin" change?
PS:
I guess so, yeah. Probably. I haven’t really read the Wikipedia on it.
SG:
The SXSW Film Guide describes you as a slacker. Were you?
PS:
Not necessarily. I chose an instrument at a young age and I made that something very important to me and I made that dream of being a professional drummer a reality. In a way, I wouldn’t consider myself a slacker.
SG:
I would think it’s very ambitious to pursue music.
PS:
Yeah.
SG:
Were you aware at the time of the new genre of music, called grunge?
PS:
Not at all. In my mind, amongst my friends in Seattle, we were just into each other’s bands. That was our thing in my musical community of friends and bands, just supporting each other and going to shows. There was no thought of that becoming anything bigger than what it was within our city. When it got to be worldwide, we were so young too. That was the other thing. It became worldwide, that was a lot to deal with. I think my choice in some of the craziness at the beginning was to party all the time. But that became my way to cope, was getting high. That was kind of my deal to ease all that uncomfortable attention.
SG:
I wonder where addictions happen. If you love music, why would an altering chemical be tempting?
PS:
The way my DNA is made up, my choice was I always needed to take the edge off, have a drink, get comfortable. It’s not comfortable to be under so much spotlight, and then for us to be under so much scrutiny because of the fact that Courtney was married to Kurt Cobain and all the baggage that that carried. That was a lot to deal with and for me it was overwhelming. So my choice was to check out a lot and it also helped with performing and dealing with that schedule. Also you’re under some kind of idea that I feel more creative when I’m loaded, which is such a load of crap.
SG:
“Take the edge off” is interesting. You weren’t viewing performing a positive excitement at the time?
PS:
Yes, but any kind of positive, negative, whatever it was, any kind of emotion always had to be enhanced by some kind of mood altering chemical or drink. Celebrate and have a drink. You’re bummed, something didn’t work out, have a drink. It’s like that.
SG:
Were you aware of examples of addicts who came out the other side?
PS:
Yeah. For the people that I hung out with that were also doing the same thing I was, some of them died. To me, that still didn't [sink in], examples of people that die around me or the warnings, even Kurt warned me. He was like, “Why are you doing that drug? You really shouldn’t be doing that drug because it’s not good.” He was talking about heroin at the time and nothing really worked as far as a warning for me. It was kind of like yeah, yeah, yeah until I had to get it for myself, which brought me to homelessness when I got it.
SG:
Were you aware it was affecting your creativity?
PS:
Yes, because it doesn’t enhance playing drums or writing music. What it does is shut you off from everything. That becomes your focus is getting it, doing it, getting it again. There’s no room for anything else in your life.
SG:
It’s more powerful than wanting to get your creativity back?
PS:
Yes. I mean, when you’re in it, yeah. You’re kind of under these blinders that you are and then you forget who you are. You forget about your creative self and the people you love and the music you love and the instrument you love.
SG:
Since you’ve come out of that, have you been able to help others in that situation?
PS:
I do work with the Musician’s Assistance Program and they helped me get clean and sober, which is an organization that helps musicians get into rehab. Of course, mentor other struggling addicts is all part of what you have to give it away. Help others.
SG:
Are you involved in gay rights issue?
PS:
Yes. I was just married and my wife and I just had a baby. We were part of No on Prop 8 when that was going on.
SG:
What will it take to pass gay marriage?
PS:
I think it’s people accepting that how is it going to hurt you if I’m married? What’s wrong with that? Because I’m a female and I want to marry another female. I don’t see how that hurts anybody.
SG:
How can we speed through that acceptance based on all the historical precedents of civil rights that people fought against?
PS:
Right, yeah, but abortion’s legal. Did the world explode? No, not really. I think it’s important for us, for myself to be out and to talk about being out. There are people that are out that are entertainers that change people’s thoughts about what a gay person is.
SG:
What music do you like these days?
PS:
Right now, I really like a lot of this sort of retro ‘60s girl group renaissance of like The Dum Dum Girls and Best Coast, Vivian Girls. They’re just sort of noisy jangle pop. It’s sweet. It’s so great. It’s really good stuff.
SG:
Are you still getting tattoos?
PS:
Yeah. I got this foo dog right here which I got from Cory Miller on LA Ink. They’re in the movie poster. The poster shows one arm dropping a drum stick and it’s turned around like this so you can see the tattoos.
SG:
Will the right arm eventually go all the way up?
PS:
Yeah, at some point but I really haven’t figured out what to do with the space.
SG:
Is there an emotional goal with the newer tattoos?
PS:
This, I do work with dogs, rescue. This is kind of a lion but it’s called a foo dog. Foo dogs are in front of buildings to protect your home or building. So traditionally the foo dog has one foot on, this represents the world so it’s to protect your world and your material things or your home. This side will have the female foo dog and she has her foot on the baby foo dog which is protection for your family and children.
SG:
And then there's a tiger?
PS:
Yeah, it’s a Bengal tiger. It’s traditionally a little more masculine of the Japanese, and crane. This is John Bonham’s rune from Led Zeppelin. This is just a swallow.
SG:
What about the stars?
PS:
The stars, just I like stars and I’ve always had them. I play drums and I use my hands, so I decorate them.
SG:
Do tattoos and rock n’ roll go hand in hand?
PS:
I guess, yeah. It’s definitely going to ensure the fact that you’re never going to get a job at a bank.
SG:
Is it these days?
PS:
I’m considering a neck tattoo. That’ll put me way over the edge.
SG:
Don’t people in the corporate world have them all over now?
PS:
Yeah, but I always see guys get quarter sleeves where you can just wear a shirt and no one will know that you have an entire back piece.
Check http://www.pattydoc.com for future engagements of Hit So Hard before it's official release.
Check http://www.pattydoc.com for future engagements of Hit So Hard before it's official release.
Featured Interviews
All interviews
