Scott Aukerman and BJ Porter

Yeah, that makes sense. So, let’s pretend like I don’t know you and I think your show sucks.

Wow.

Will you pretend to like the CD? Because that is all that really matters.

Can I interview? How long ago and why did you start Comedy Death Ray? I mean, what was the fucking point?

(Still mocking) Duh, duh, duh.

Well, there are a lot of comedians in town, who are like you. Like, marginally good comedians who get no chance to perform, so basically we started it for you.

Wow, that’s awesome.

And you have not taken advantage of it.

(Laughter)

Yeah, are there a lot of lazy comedians like me, who could take advantage of your show but don’t?

To be serious, the show started 50 years ago.

Holy shit.

We started Comedy Death Ray 5 years ago. We will have our 5th anniversary in a couple of weeks.

Is there an anniversary show coming up?

Maybe in December.

We’re having some people perform…

On a show…

But you don’t need to know about that so much.

He’s joking, if you want to come just tell me, I’ll get you in.

What was the idea behind trying to produce a different comedy show in LA?

When we started there weren’t a lot of shows. We had just come back to performing after a hiatus and there weren’t a lot of places to do it. Really, there was only one show. So we thought we should double that and make it two shows. Cause if something is working, double it. They did that with mint gum.

Yeah, you’re right. I’m thinking back on it. So, obviously the show is very successful now. Do you find it difficult to book a show every week? Is it a pain in the ass?

It’s gotten a little easier, actually. It’s not as much chasing down people now. It was easy in the beginning, then it got really hard because people started getting famous and dodging my calls…

Yeah, like me.

Yes. But then it got easier because the show became even more popular. So, the people who were dodging now want to do it again.

Do you have a lot of people sending you weird tapes?

We used to and then it stopped.

You know what is weird, for instance, I got this email the other day that said, “Hi, I am new at stand up and want to do your show.” But anytime you tell someone to send a tape, you will undoubtedly never see one. I have only gotten, I can count on the inches of my penis how many tapes I’ve received.

Wow. This just took a really uncomfortable turn. You use weird phrases to describe…

Well, a lot of people talk about the fingers on their hand and for me my penis is about the same amount of inches.

So, you made a Comedy Death Ray CD. Is this the first CD you’ve made?

Yeah. First really anything that has come out of the show. We flirted with cell phone deals…

Like a ringtone?

No, more like content.

Ringtones were a part of it. Ringbacks, ringtones.

Oh, yeah.

We ended up never going forward with it because they wanted to pay us in phones.

(FTR laughs)

And ringtones.

How many phones would you have gotten?

A hundred.

Wow, that’s awesome. Sorry it didn’t work out.

But this is the first thing to ever come out of the show, the first CD.

Did Comedy Central approach you guys or did you approach them?

I don’t remember. It was one of those things that was so serendipitous. They wanted to do it with us, we wanted to do it with them. It was really easy. They were super easy to work with. Jack Vaughn, who is in charge over there is a dream. He basically let us do whatever we wanted. He had a couple of notes, which we were happy to do. They were very sensible and he let us do whatever we wanted, the running order, the tracks on the CD, the artwork, everything.

You guys picked the acts, did you tell them which bits you wanted them to do?

No, in fact no one knew we were recording.

Really? So is this from different shows over a period of time?

Just two different shows. We didn’t have the money to record every show and put out a best of. So, it’s two great shows that we recorded.

Where were the shows? At the UCB theater?

Disc two is our all night anniversary show that lasted 11 and ½ hours.

Oh, I didn’t, uh…I was invited to be on that and I didn’t show up.

Really?

I think I was working that night.

Oh, til six in the morning?

No, it was on the Greg Behrendt Show and talk shows ruin you soul. I had no soul left.

Well, I’m sure you would have done great but the show went 2 hours over.

I probably wouldn’t have…

Stuck around?

Yeah.

What is interesting about the second disc is, what we never say on the actual artwork is that a lot of those people were going up at 4 or 5 in the morning. So, to me it’s a really interesting disc because everyone is not exactly at the top of their game. They’re in this weird state, where some of them are high, and tired, and are not exactly doing their bits the way they normally would do it. But it’s got this weird interesting quality of rambling almost, (laughs), but it’s like a normal show at CDR. One thing we didn’t want to do was like disc one, which we recorded in San Francisco in front of an audience of 450 people.

Where?

Cobbs Comedy Club.

How many comics did you have on that show?

Eight comics. Seven end up on the CD, or six, because we cut out me and Jimmy Pardo had a great set on the other disc. The San Francisco disc is really professional and amazing because it is great to see all those really good comedians killing in front of such a large crowd but we didn’t just want to do that. We also wanted to make another CD that was a little more like a regular show. So, on the second CD, you have Jimmy Pardo doing ten minutes before he even gets to a joke. It’s just crowd work.

Amazing crowd work.

He is really awesome at crowd work. One of the best, by far.

And the rest of the comics are just kind of rambling, doing more experimental bits and that is where you have Neal Hamburger killing, so people will have their favorite of the two discs but I think there is something really interesting about the second one.

Who went on really late?

Brian Posehn. I think was supposed to go on at 3:45 am and he ended going on at 5 am in the morning. At a certain point, at around 3 in the morning, we realized we were 2 hours over already and it was just one of those situations where you hope people want to stay.

And did people stick around til the end?

Yeah, it was really amazing. I think a couple of people left during the last act.

And what time was that?

7:40 am. They left during the middle of Hard and Phirm. I mean, do you need to get your car from the valet? It was just really weird, after 11 hours, you’re leaving now? With 10 minutes left?

Quit the marathon a step from the finish.

Did you guys perform on the CD? (To Scott) I know you cut yourself out of the SF show.

I ended up being on the second disc because I thought that was the one I fit more on.

We had a fun opening bit, but it was very visual, so…

I did stand up everyday for a month to prepare for the CD taping and still, my set is one of the worst. But it was one of those back and forth decisions. In the end everyone said, “No, you should be on it. It’s good.” So, I put myself on it.

It’s your CD. Fuck them.

You know, I always feel like as a producer, I want to stay out of it. You don’t want to be the person creating a show so you can get more stage time. Or like, “Hey, I’m doing a CD so I can be on it.” But I’m only on five minutes.

There are producers of shows we all know, who just have shows to put themselves on.

And the audience has to suffer through them to see good comics.

And they did create a skip button for just this reason.

They sure did. They are going to call it the Scott Aukerman button.

Right now they call the clitoris the “The Scott Aukerman button.”

Jesus Christ!

This is SuicideGirls, right?

Oh, God. Sick. Okay. Are you guys going on the road with the show?

We are going to Vancouver the 20th of September. Two shows. With Bob Odenkirk and David Cross from Mr. Show and a few other comics. Not sold out. We’ve been trying to get a tour together for a while, I’m sure we’ll be up in San Francisco again soon. I think the TV show will maybe help with the tour if it gets going.

Are you working with Bob and David on anything?

Uh, there’s sort of a movie in the works, but…it’s just one of those things…

It’s a possibility.

You never want to say too much about it before it actually happens.

Do you have a website?

We have ComedyDeathRay.com, but you can’t manipulate it as much as our MySpace page, so we tell people to go to MySpace.

Are you putting videos up?

We have videos up, we have a lot of pictures. I used to take pictures every week, so there are a ton of pictures of comedians back stage in intimate moments…

Like?

Blowing each other.

How great am I on your shows? Like out of 1 to 10.

Well, they can come see you.

Oh, am I doing a show soon?

You are doing one on the 18th of September. And you’re a 9. You’re a solid 9.

Wow, I’m a 9.

10 being the worst, right? Now, you are writing on our TV show, The Right Now Show, so obviously I thought you were going to be about a 5 as a writer, but you’ve been about an 8 or an 8 and ½.

Oh! Well, thank you. Do you guys do any other shows at the UCB Theater?

I do Match Game on the second Friday and Saturday of each month. The game show. Or should I? Oh, I guess it’s okay to say on the Internet. We rip off Match Game. We get celebrities and comics to play the game. Jimmy Pardo hosts. We’ve had guests like…Neal Patrick Harris just did it and a lot of comedy celebrities like Andy Richter and Rob Corddry. We’ve even had people from the original Match Game, like Marsha Wallace, Eddie McClure. And the audience can actually win money. Up to 100 dollars.

Holy shit. Now what are you guys to do when the TV show makes it big and you are rich and powerful. Are you going to be worse people?

I will be nicer.

(Confused) You’ll be nicer?

Yeah, it will mellow me out a bit.

Cause you have a chip on your shoulder.

Don’t you think it would be better to be a dick at that point?

Is that what usually happens?

Yeah. I know what you’re saying because that is how I’m going to be. I feel like I’m not successful enough for people to take my shit, but as soon as I am successful I’ll give shit to everybody and I will feel like they should take it from me because I am more successful than they are. And therefore I am important enough to be accommodated.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I think, I think…I don’t know what I think. I forgot what I was going to say. I’m so tired.

From trying to put together a television show that tapes in two days.

It’s a lot of work.

Good luck with your show, I hope it’s very successful because I am working on it.

That would be nice for you to have a little success.

Okay, I’m going to wrap this up. Go see their CD.