Lisa Crystal Carver

Yes, I am. I’m psyched and I’m crazy [laughs].

I’m not going to do book readings. We’re going to bring the book to life.

Oh no, nobody wants that. I’m going to have people from the audience act out scenes from the book.

That’s what a lot of people tell me.

It’s like Kiss, when you find something you like just keep on doing it [laughs].I have an album, a DVD and a book all with the same name. It’s a good name.

I think it took two years. The first year I was writing a different book and then all of a sudden it turned into this book.

It was autobiographical as well but I was trying to make it fiction because I was afraid of being sued. So I was trying to write a novel but I’m just a crappy fiction writer then I just figured “What the heck, if they sue me I’ll probably just make more money so I’ll be able to pay the lawyers” [laughs].

Every single person in the book [laughs].

The ones who will still talk to me.

Well most of the people in the book are my ex-boyfriends. I wasn’t talking to my Dad because he’s kind of like an ex-boyfriend. The only one who still talks to me is my ex-husband.

He’s really happy. He loves me.

Yeah I did feel like I don’t have to think about it ever again. It gives me a lot of time to think about other stuff.

Yes, with the abortion chapter I had to drink every day to be able to slog through it. I developed a habit for that month. Even though it was only like a thousand words.

Jack and Coke.

Oh you’re a good man. You know, you can really tell a lot about a person whether they like Jim or Jack.

Makers Mark? That’s your drink now?

Jack is really good. Let’s not get into an argument here. [laughs]

They’re really cool. They basically said, “Well if anything happens, it happens. Don’t worry about it” [laughs]

Now that I don’t have to think about this stuff anymore. I can have a whole new life [laughs].

No, I’ve never been unhappy. I used to be really antsy all the time. So I feel less antsy.

Yeah, I’ve never seen anything like it. A lot of people like to say that I was acting out a traumatic childhood and I got to say, “Yeah, why not.” Except this time I was in charge of it. I was actually writing it and giving myself the rape scenes and stuff. I’ve had five shrinks and I think that the stage shows accomplished more than all five of them put together.

My mom is dead. My stepmother doesn’t care about anything, she loves it. My father is already not speaking to me and he hates the government and the system so much I can’t even imagine him going to court over it. But if he did, I wouldn’t care because I can prove everything [laughs].

Well I didn’t actually write anything libelous. But the only thing my father never got caught at was killing people and I never said that he actually killed people. I said that he told me he had killed people.

I went to a wedding the other day of this really nice girl who babysat my son. It was a very traditional wedding and it was very beautiful and she was very beautiful. I felt kind of lonely, but in a different way because I realized that I have never had any tradition or anything normal in my life. She was surrounded by tradition and it bolstered her. I’ve always made my own way and then I saw somebody who was just going with the flow it looked really attractive and nice. For the first time I felt that my life was hard. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to be her. I would go crazy and murder my husband on the first night. It just doesn’t fit my temperament so I guess the answer is yes, I‘m happy with my life.

I don’t think they suck. They’re fine, there’s nothing wrong with them, as long as they don’t think something’s wrong with me [laughs].

I do in the guise of being a parent. I try to appear normal if I go to a meeting about one of my kids at school or at the doctor’s office.

I have an 11 year old son and a three year old daughter.

No because he’s kind of crazy.

Literally he is so he’s not going to go on the internet and search for these things. He’s really in his own world. He’s been diagnosed with all kinds of schizophrenia.

Yeah so I’m not too concerned that he’s going to be embarrassed because he’s so far into his own world. The other day he was really worried about the fact that the universe will end. Then he was talking about what’s underneath cyberspace and talking about the unknown floor. Those are the kind of things he thinks about, not what his mother was up to in 1992 [laughs].

I adore him and I’m happy for him. He’s got a good world.

I’ve always gotten a lot of lonely girls who say that they now =can really start their life. Which I’m really happy about because that exactly what I want. They know it’s not just them. When I was young I used get all these dirty old men. Now that I’m 36 I get all these dirty young men.

It’s really good. I would really want to encourage anybody who’s 20 to not worry about getting older [laughs].

Kind of, yeah.

I think it’s a good way to meet people.

Yeah. I’ve always stalked somebody or been stalked. I have never really met people the normal way.

Actually I ended up stalking him. He had read my stuff and he liked me but he was already involved with two women. So I had to do some stalking.

I’ve always been very attracted to it. I like girls and I like suicide [laughs].

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck